Would it be reasonable to kick a family member out of my home if they don't get a therapist, because they dump all their problems on me?

[Hotzone417]

[Changiis07]

I mean you don't have to sit there and take it, just walk out or tell them that you don't have time to hear all the complaints

[HollyK21]

Why not try setting boundaries first? Like not talking about their problems at all?

[Hotzone417]

I dont want them to bottle up all their emotions inside, but I dont want them to dump them all on me. That's why are want them to talk to a therapist

[HollyK21]

If you can’t have a healthy balance with your relative where they only share some things and not everything, then you just can’t be that person for them to talk to in general. I don’t know if you’ve suggested therapy but if you haven’t then at least give them that option first. If they don’t want professional help then they need to go talk to another relative or someone else about their issues. Not you.

[Hotzone417]

Yes I mentioned therapy, and she said she'll try it, but then later that day she won't.

[HollyK21]

You can think about what I’m going to suggest but maybe you should make therapy a condition to living with you. Be super transparent about how you’re feeling and just tell her how you can’t hear about her troubles anymore, it’s too much on you but you don’t want her to keep all that pent up at the same time. Tell her that at least with therapy they can give her tips on emotional regulation or advice on how to deal with whatever is going on.

[Hotzone417]

Yeah i told her that i know she's unhappy, and she agreed. I told her that a therapist can help her manage her issues, and make her life happier. She still said no. I don't know what else to do. That's why I'm considering kicking her out if she won't see a therapist. I'd feel like shit though, because she already sold the trailer she moved out of and she has nowhere to go.

[HollyK21]

In that case I genuinely think you’ll have to stop talking to her about her issues. You’re reason for listening is because you don’t want her to keep these things bottled up right? So how does kicking her out solve that? It’s not like she’s going to be talking to someone else, if that were the case she’d be doing that already. She would still be keeping her issues pent up but instead she’ll have another source or stress on her plate because then she’d have to find somewhere else to live, on top of everything else. You wouldn’t be helping her, just adding to her troubles, all because you’re tired of hearing about them. You could solve that issue so easily and still keep a roof over her head.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

It is.