Do you think mothers are useless nowadays?

[melssvdv]

My mom left when I was 3 years old. She was drunk and always jumped from one man to another. My dad was the only one who uplifted me, always walked together every weekend on the beach during sunsets, fed me, clothed me, protected me, etc.

My dad not only gave me life, but also took all roles what mothers do. But it only makes sense for fathers to easily fill in the role of mothers since men are stronger.

I am mom myself and whenever I think of my mom, it kinda angers me. I am wondering how most mothers are nowadays? I have heard that in America, some mothers pull the strings to fill in for divorce. But for what? Who would want to playfully file a divorce?

[Bitter_Sweet94]

No, mothers aren’t “useless.”

But some people have **deep wounds from their own mother**, and it colors the way they see motherhood in general.

That sounds like what’s happening here.

Your mom failed you.
That’s real.

And the anger you still feel makes sense, it’s the reaction of a child who was abandoned, not a sign that motherhood itself is broken.

But your experience isn’t the universal truth.

There are mothers today who

* raise kids on their own

* work, nurture, protect, and show up every day

* give stability their partners never gave

* carry emotional and physical labor that often goes unnoticed

And there are fathers who do the same.

The problem isn’t “mothers.”

The problem is **irresponsible parents**, regardless of gender.

You’re a mom now and the fact that you even think about this shows you already chose a different path than the one your mother took.

That matters.
That’s the real cycle breaker.

Divorce?

Most women don’t “playfully” file.

They file because the marriage is unhealthy, unsafe, or unsustainable not because they want drama.

Your hurt is valid.

Just don’t let your mother’s choices define the entire role of motherhood or your relationship with your own child.

[melssvdv]

It is just that I am recently a mother (almost a year) and sometimes it reminds me of my mother and it makes me depressed because it kind of reflects to me and fearful that I might inherit the same behaviour like my mom does.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

It makes sense that becoming a mother brings old wounds to the surface.

When you finally step into the role your own mother failed in, it forces you to see the past in a new light.

But here’s the truth you need to hold onto,

The fact that her behavior scares you is already proof that you’re nothing like her.

People who repeat the cycle don’t question themselves.

They don’t worry about becoming their parents.

They don’t feel guilt, fear, or responsibility.

You do.

That’s what breaks the cycle.

Your awareness is your protection.

Your reflection is your safeguard.

And every day you show up for your child even on the hard days is you choosing a different path.

You don’t need to be a perfect mom.

You just need to be a present one.

Your fear isn’t a warning that you’ll become her.

It’s a sign that you’re healing from her.

[Nikki1989]

My parents walked out of my life when I was 12, but even before that, I rarely ever saw them. They supplied everything we needed, but they were always working two jobs and would always go out partying when they had spare time.

[ClauseJansen]

I'm saddened by what your mother didn't do for you. I hope everything turns out well.

[melssvdv]

Bless you!

[loveyouoak]

I don't think mothers are useless. Mothers are angels.

[Anonymous]

Yawn, the all men give life troll on a fake pink account again lol

[beenherebefore]

Not all.

[sirderpsalot123]

Some, not all.