Girls, How do I do small talk for friends and family when I read internet articles but I still don't know what to say so I can be closer with them?

[Anonymous]

Updates

6 mo

Since I love and wish them well

[objective_calendar]

You already have the first step correct I guess, you love them. So it's all good. Anyways. For small talk ask them a few questions about how things are going and then add some of your personal experiences to get them talking.

You: How was your exam?

Them: Ugh it was so bad/It was okay

You: My last exam was so bad I can't believe I passed, I literally wrote... (some ridiculous thing)

Even if it's a bit off-topic you can still change topics if you want to.

You: (changing topic) I don't really like x thing (ex. spicy food)

Them: Oh really.

You: Yeah this one time...(some story about why you came to dislike that thing).

They won't always initiate and pick a topic so talk about whatever you have in mind. Obviously don't talk about politics religion and sexual things with just anybody.

Also don't try to force anything here. Let the feeling come to you naturally. Lots of good as well as bad things happen to you everyday so there's a gold mine of things to tell there.

Keep mental notes (or just try to remember) when somebody tells you something that they are going through. It's your hook to ask them for an update next time you see them.

You: So how's work?

Them: There's this new project I'm working on, I hope overlords like it.

You: (next time) So how did it go?

Sometimes you'll come across somebody who may seem distant and cold. Perhaps they're giving only one word replies. "Hmm. Yeah. Oh. I guess." Maybe they are upset or not in the mood to talk. Take the hint and move on to talking to the next person.

Just keep moving your mouth. You have to assume most people just aren't good conversationalists so yes it'll definitely feel like you're putting 100 energy but getting back like maybe 5. But when they see you're telling them 100 things it shows that you trust them and feel close enough to share that much, so they'll tell you about 5 things. Don't be too caught up on if you said the right or wrong thing. If you've had 10 conversations 1 or 2 is bound to be embarrassing. But hey, now you got that experience to talk about next time you meet somebody.