When you go blank it's because you don't have topics of conversation in mind before you speak. These can be referred to as impromptu conversation skills. When you do have these skills, you can start up a conversation about anything at any moment. To work on this, you first need to know how a conversation is structured. It starts with an introduction, leading into a topic of discussion, followed by a closing statement. I'd also like to say, you are not alone. I am a talker, and I can tell when people struggle with these speach skills. It's a shame schools don't push this subject more... Especially when speach is important for landing a job. Looking at other comments, I saw people recommend some very good books that I agree with. Reading these will help you understand how to address people without looking strange. And just like anything, practice practice practice. You can only get better if you keep working at it. Hope this helped!
Most Helpful Opinions
You need to work on your personality. When you talk to anybody, they're going to be trying to figure out where you fit into their life. Are you fun to talk to? Funny, always have interesting stories, add to the conversation well?
It has less to do with being who other people want you to be and more to do with figuring out what kind of person you want to be.
Any kind of relationship (friends, romantic, professional) is built on familiarity. You build that by getting to know the other person but also by them getting to know you. Not through what you tell them, but by your actions.
Figure out what your values are, find your purpose and the rest will come naturally.
I would say try to approach them among a group. Not just two people alone especially the girl and someone of the opposite gender. Also if there are more guys it might make it easier. Assuming you think guys are easier to hang out with than girls. I say do this cus it is easier to fit into groups or get to know and individual by trying to talk to them. If you know one of the people in the group try to talk to them among the group first. Then if they introduce you to the people then you can get to know others and especially the girl your into. I know it might seem complicated but I have seen this work a million of times. I have tried quite a bit. My little sis who even is more introverted does this sometimes and it helps her make more friends and get to know more people. I have no clue if this was any help but if it was I am glad. Good luck! You can do this.
It doesn't make much difference what you say or if you hardly speak. If a girl likes you, you can do no wrong and if you doesn't like you, you can do no right. There are no magic words. If you see a guy that always seems to know what to say, it is because he is hot; he very good looking so it doesn't what he says. The very same words spoken by some average guy will go over like a lead balloon.
Practice on ugly or fat girls you have no interest in. They just want to be next to you; regardless of what you say or if you let them do all the talking.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
15Opinion
I think if you have difficulty having things to say, that you have not found your voice yet, you can get it by reading books or watching education videos or taking classes or attending social lectures.
Well you can ask her questions, about what you would like to find out about her. If you are interested in talking to her then surely there are things you are curious about her so you can ask. Like about her hobbies or what she studied or where she comes from, how she grew up etc etc. Or you can simply ask how she is doing. Questions will shows interest, girls will very much appreciate that, genuine interest (about her/her life/her personality). And there are a million things to learn about a person so you can just stay curious and see where the conversation flows! This is the first step in flirting (or just getting to know someone) I would say. This depends on the context also, like in a club you can't really do that and you can show her by dancing with her and then tell her how much you appreciated it. Being forward and honest goes a long way also even if it sounds intimidating can go a really long way.
If she is shy or doesn't respond much or doesn't know what to say but you see she does want to talk then you can engage with things you are passionate about, or talk about your own life (not too much though, like don't start a whole presentation on electric cars or smth).
Or just some light small talk with some jokes if you're in the moodItās a lot easier if youāre straight-forward and you say exactly whatās on your mind.
As an introvert Iāve always struggled with talking to new people unless thereās some kind of purpose. I hate small talk. I canāt talk about things I have no interest in.
If I meet a girl I like, if Iām the one initiating with her and she hasnāt come to me first, I prefer to get straight to the point and tell her that Iām attracted to her. Then the purpose of the conversation is obvious and finding things to talk about is easy because Iām gonna ask her about things which Iām curious about.
I think that being too afraid of rejection or of being direct complicates things way too much.Read these books:
1. How to win friends and influence people
2. People smart
3. Skill with people
4. Womanese (Internet content creator Donovan Sharpe)Check out the Charisma on Command Youtube channel. I think the key is having interests, knowing yourself and enjoying your life. When you talk, you say and do things for your own amusement just as much as for theirs. You can also avoid all of the cliche 'how are you' boring stuff by immediately moving onto something entirely different. But to do so would mean you need to be doing something in life you find really interesting, as well as having an interest in others.
Do a customer service job part time. That's just talking to people all day. That's a good way to build it up. Do it part time. Be a bartender part time. Work at a store part time. Another thing is have your friends introduce you to their friends. That's an opportunity to meet someone new. Aka practice.
Pick up a newspaper and read it from back to front.. Do this for 3 days straight then go throw yourself into the deep end.. You will find you'll be able to keep the conversation going with ease.
First get to the gym. Work out and don't be fat
After that work on your social skills and your confidence. These things take time and aren't easy to accomplish over night. So you'll have to be consistent. Next is working on your money/financial stability. This takes time as well but it can be done. These things are important and it will make talking to women so much easier for youYou speak your mind and be yourself. Cause like peanuts on a tree and corn on the cob, there's plenty of them to go around if either of you have a problem with being open and being yourself.
Tell them corny or non-sexual jokes... They love to laugh.
If you feel like talking to females is different than talking to males, youāre choosing the wrong females.
You talk to them just like you have other women youāve known until itās time to ask them out.
Honestly there is no answer. If you have chemistry talking just works and you don't have to worry about being awkward.
My not being a douge, don't act like an āalpha maleā because those are disgusting, respect her and her opinions, don't be sexist about things, etc.
I'd like to be spoken to and approached exactly as you would a man.
Be genuine give them space respect boundaries. Find common interests
- u
Practice on here so youāll be better in person
Do you best to ānot careā
Maybe vodka can help.
Drink Whiskey weekly
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!