How do I talk to girls?

Question

Okay I'm 22 now all my life I've only been around girls that were from school and recently at work so I have never seen a girl I like and then gone to talk to them and even the ones I know I don't really know how to speak to them properly now. This issue isn't just with girls it's with people I don't know, I don't really know how to start or hold a meaningful conversation with anyone and I thought it was because of my confidence but I have worked on that before I would shy away from even having to speak to anyone about the tiniest things but now I want to be part of the conversation I have this itch that I want to speak to them so I just do the usual hey how are you doing today and then try to follow-up based on their reply then the conversation dies down. what I want to know or learn is how do I speak to people and how do I hold a conversation even if the person doesn't know how to and also like how do I flirt or speak to a girl romantically

Man-O-Metal · Accepted Answer

When you go blank it's because you don't have topics of conversation in mind before you speak. These can be referred to as impromptu conversation skills. When you do have these skills, you can start up a conversation about anything at any moment. To work on this, you first need to know how a conversation is structured. It starts with an introduction, leading into a topic of discussion, followed by a closing statement. I'd also like to say, you are not alone. I am a talker, and I can tell when people struggle with these speach skills. It's a shame schools don't push this subject more... Especially when speach is important for landing a job. Looking at other comments, I saw people recommend some very good books that I agree with. Reading these will help you understand how to address people without looking strange. And just like anything, practice practice practice. You can only get better if you keep working at it. Hope this helped!

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

You need to work on your personality. When you talk to anybody, they're going to be trying to figure out where you fit into their life. Are you fun to talk to? Funny, always have interesting stories, add to the conversation well?

It has less to do with being who other people want you to be and more to do with figuring out what kind of person you want to be.

Any kind of relationship (friends, romantic, professional) is built on familiarity. You build that by getting to know the other person but also by them getting to know you. Not through what you tell them, but by your actions.

Figure out what your values are, find your purpose and the rest will come naturally.

GurlMaster40 · Accepted Answer

I would say try to approach them among a group. Not just two people alone especially the girl and someone of the opposite gender. Also if there are more guys it might make it easier. Assuming you think guys are easier to hang out with than girls. I say do this cus it is easier to fit into groups or get to know and individual by trying to talk to them. If you know one of the people in the group try to talk to them among the group first. Then if they introduce you to the people then you can get to know others and especially the girl your into. I know it might seem complicated but I have seen this work a million of times. I have tried quite a bit. My little sis who even is more introverted does this sometimes and it helps her make more friends and get to know more people. I have no clue if this was any help but if it was I am glad. Good luck! You can do this.

KelleyNice · Accepted Answer

It doesn't make much difference what you say or if you hardly speak. If a girl likes you, you can do no wrong and if you doesn't like you, you can do no right. There are no magic words. If you see a guy that always seems to know what to say, it is because he is hot; he very good looking so it doesn't what he says. The very same words spoken by some average guy will go over like a lead balloon.

Practice on ugly or fat girls you have no interest in. They just want to be next to you; regardless of what you say or if you let them do all the talking.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think if you have difficulty having things to say, that you have not found your voice yet, you can get it by reading books or watching education videos or taking classes or attending social lectures.

CA4444 · Answer

Well you can ask her questions, about what you would like to find out about her. If you are interested in talking to her then surely there are things you are curious about her so you can ask. Like about her hobbies or what she studied or where she comes from, how she grew up etc etc. Or you can simply ask how she is doing. Questions will shows interest, girls will very much appreciate that, genuine interest (about her/her life/her personality). And there are a million things to learn about a person so you can just stay curious and see where the conversation flows! This is the first step in flirting (or just getting to know someone) I would say. This depends on the context also, like in a club you can't really do that and you can show her by dancing with her and then tell her how much you appreciated it. Being forward and honest goes a long way also even if it sounds intimidating can go a really long way.

If she is shy or doesn't respond much or doesn't know what to say but you see she does want to talk then you can engage with things you are passionate about, or talk about your own life (not too much though, like don't start a whole presentation on electric cars or smth).

Or just some light small talk with some jokes if you're in the mood

Anonymous · Answer

It’s a lot easier if you’re straight-forward and you say exactly what’s on your mind.

As an introvert I’ve always struggled with talking to new people unless there’s some kind of purpose. I hate small talk. I can’t talk about things I have no interest in.

If I meet a girl I like, if I’m the one initiating with her and she hasn’t come to me first, I prefer to get straight to the point and tell her that I’m attracted to her. Then the purpose of the conversation is obvious and finding things to talk about is easy because I’m gonna ask her about things which I’m curious about.

I think that being too afraid of rejection or of being direct complicates things way too much.

cth96190 · Answer

Read these books: 1. How to win friends and influence people 2. People smart 3. Skill with people 4. Womanese (Internet content creator Donovan Sharpe)

Anonymous · Answer

Check out the Charisma on Command Youtube channel. I think the key is having interests, knowing yourself and enjoying your life. When you talk, you say and do things for your own amusement just as much as for theirs. You can also avoid all of the cliche 'how are you' boring stuff by immediately moving onto something entirely different. But to do so would mean you need to be doing something in life you find really interesting, as well as having an interest in others.

Zodiac10 · Answer

Do a customer service job part time. That's just talking to people all day. That's a good way to build it up. Do it part time. Be a bartender part time. Work at a store part time. Another thing is have your friends introduce you to their friends. That's an opportunity to meet someone new. Aka practice.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Pick up a newspaper and read it from back to front.. Do this for 3 days straight then go throw yourself into the deep end.. You will find you'll be able to keep the conversation going with ease.

Chthou95 · Answer

First get to the gym. Work out and don't be fat
After that work on your social skills and your confidence. These things take time and aren't easy to accomplish over night. So you'll have to be consistent. Next is working on your money/financial stability. This takes time as well but it can be done. These things are important and it will make talking to women so much easier for you

AlanJ17M4F · Answer

You speak your mind and be yourself. Cause like peanuts on a tree and corn on the cob, there's plenty of them to go around if either of you have a problem with being open and being yourself.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

If you feel like talking to females is different than talking to males, you’re choosing the wrong females.

Guy13 · Answer

Tell them corny or non-sexual jokes... They love to laugh.

Avicenna · Answer

You talk to them just like you have other women you’ve known until it’s time to ask them out.

Wubs3000 · Answer

Honestly there is no answer. If you have chemistry talking just works and you don't have to worry about being awkward.

MrJMM · Answer

My not being a douge, don't act like an “alpha male” because those are disgusting, respect her and her opinions, don't be sexist about things, etc.

AssholeNumberOne · Answer

I'd like to be spoken to and approached exactly as you would a man.

treatercollins25 · Answer

Be genuine give them space respect boundaries. Find common interests

Iron_Man · Answer

Practice on here so you’ll be better in person

constantine15 · Answer

Do you best to “not care”

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe vodka can help.

Anonymous · Answer

Be normal, be funny.

scott04sa22 · Answer

Drink Whiskey weekly

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