Should we move to Guernsey with a newborn and leave our families?

[Babyseal23]

My husband is currently going through the interview stages for a Head Gardener position in Guernsey, and it has left us with a difficult decision to make. It could be an amazing opportunity for our family, especially as we currently live in a shitty town in the east Midlands and often feel there are limited opportunities here. However, the timing is far from ideal as we are expecting our first baby within the next couple of weeks.

We have spent a lot of time discussing the pros and cons. On one hand, it could offer career progression, a different lifestyle, and opportunities we may not get again. On the other hand, both of our families live here and this baby will be the first grandchild on both sides. The thought of moving away from that support network is understandably daunting.

My husband has even asked whether he should pull out of the interview process because he is unsure. Personally, I don't want us to make a decision we might regret years down the line. I feel there is a big difference between being offered a job and deciding it isn't right, and never giving ourselves the chance to properly explore the opportunity.

There are also family circumstances to consider. My husband has vulnerable family members, although his mum has encouraged us not to let that hold us back. While I appreciate her support, I sometimes wonder if she is viewing the situation a little too positively.

I have only told my own mum because most of my family tend to be negative about things. She doesn't seem enthusiastic about the possibility either. Whenever I mention it, she focuses on the baby and often comes across as disappointed rather than excited.

Ultimately, I feel torn between staying close to family and pursuing an opportunity that could benefit our future. I don't want fear or guilt to make the decision for us, but I also don't want to underestimate what we would be leaving behind.

Updates

1 mo

We've had abit more of a chat about it tonight and We've decided its a no for us moving. Mainly because of the baby we think there's a lot of risk there if the baby was to get sick or we needed family

Updates

1 mo

Getting a small baby on a airplane back and forth would be a nightmare and the town also looks like it would be boring to live on after a while

[Calyptomaniac]

I guess that depends on how adventurous you are. Our cruise ship stopped there for 4 hours and I felt like I did everything. It seems like it'd be depressing to live on a tiny island with it being difficult to go anywhere. If it's just something to put on a resume for later, then it's just temporary and you end up moving all over again. That didn't seem like the kind of place where there's anything great going on, just a place for rich people to retire when they're tired of cities. Having a baby and leaving the entire support system you have sounds like it's not really worth it to me. Whatever opportunity there is in a tiny place like that will surely come up on the mainland somewhere too at some point.

[Babyseal23]

he's also applied for a job in North Yorkshire which is only around 2 hours away from family so not as bad and looks better suited to us both.

He got a email today just acknowledging his application so we're still not certain yet.

The thing is my husband is a very highly pay head gardener compared to others so were not sure how much others will be willing to pay out for him if it includes reasonable accommodation for a family of 3 and potentially more children in the future

[Babyseal23]

Paid*

[Babyseal23]

But also thank you. Your comment has given me another point of view as I dont actually know anyone whose visited the island. Everyone just says its a "slower way of life" whatever that means

[Calyptomaniac]

Slower way of life is code for not much to do. Once you've scoured every square foot of the island, you'll find there's little entertainment, especially for kids. It's definitely a place for older people. I think it would become depressing after a few years and I didn't see a whole lot going on there that would make me think there's much opportunity to make a lot of money and you'd likely just end up moving back at some point. It doesn't seem worth the hassle to me and not having family around to help is another big burden.

[NoDecision]

You can have lots of friends, but you only have, or will ever have, one family. Friends come and go, but your family usually is with you for life, and will always have your back. Who usually watches one's kids when the need arises? Family! Who will bail you out when trouble arises financially? Family! So are you going to throw your cushion out the door?

[MrChinaski]

One of the bosses I most respect's advice was: If someone asks you to do something, do it.

It is probably the best pithy advice I've ever received.

[DryGermanGuy]

Oh, oh, be careful there. Remember what happened in „Eye of the Needle“. 😱

[slatyb]

How long does it take to travel to Guernsey?