My best friend always has to be right, guhh!

[Anonymous]

So I've been best friends with this girl for like 8 years, and wev'e been through EVERYTHING together. We are so close, and I love her to death. The only problem is that she went to university 3 years ago, and still is there, but ever since she always has to be correct about everything. I can have my opinion, but I can never ever be correct. I just agree with her now, to avoid an agrument. I know if I ever tell her how I feel she will never let it go, and will get extremely mad about it.. Then I will have to apologize and say "sorry, your right". It's just getting so annoying, and I feel that sometimes she likes being around because it makes her feel smarter. I feel so unacomplished around her, when I know that I shouldn't. I don't know if I should confront her and risk our friendship, and ignore it and just hope the feeling dissappears. Any advice would be great, thanks!

[ilovelegs]

So true, some people think they have all the answers and they can get pretty annoying at times. But being a good listener is a better quality than being one that thinks they have all the answers and most people love being around them and having them for friends, so feel pretty privileged. You're right, it will be hard to outright confront her on this behavior without jeopardizing her friendship so don't do it that way. Instead, try changing your attitude on how you look a her and handle the situation while you stay still great friends... and probably even better than before. Just start hearing her out until she stops talking and then take your turn. However, whenever she takes a breath, rather than voice your opinion unless she asks you, ask her questions like this...Why do you say that? When did you say that happened? How did that work again or how did you come up with that conclusion? Why would you think that? What was the reason again? Once in awhile, say like, "That makes sense." or "That's a good point" Then back to, "What book did you read that in?" type of questions. Etc, etc. etc. After awhile she'll realize she's talking way too much and that you're getting board with it all and will start even questioning herself and start asking your input, opinions and feelings. If you can stay a good listener long enough this will eventually work itself out and probably faster than you think. If she's not really listening to you anyway other then to correct you, you're just as well off as saying as little as you can, and let her make a fool of herself rather than you making one of yourself. Now just try real hard to zip your lips more and keep your good friend forever. Meantime, make a few other friends that are good listeners. lol!

[Atomizer]

My advice is that you have compassion for her, because people who have to be correct are insecure. Big time insecure.

The fact that she's gone to university doesn't necessarily make her smarter than anyone. Many colleges are little more than cookie-cutter programs that train people in test-taking, not in thinking. Many college students are essentially brainwashed: they think their professors are gods, and repeat what the professors say. Knowing big words and fancy terms doesn't make you intelligent.

Confronting her probably won't accomplish anything worthwhile (confrontations rarely do).

Next time she starts blabbing, keep nodding and simply remember: "How sad that she's so insecure that she always has to feel correct."

[Angie-0905]

I would confront her if she is making you feel unaccomplished or less of a person. No friend should make you feel that way. If she really is that great of a friend, I don't think she realizes she is actually hurting you. I wouldn't attack her by any means. I would just simply stick up for yourself the next time a situation arises. Tell her you value her friendship and her opinion, but sometimes you guys are going to have a different opinion or view on things and neither is wrong. Explain to her that it hurts your feelings that she never tries to see your point of view.

And Atomizer is correct. She has to be right all the time because she is insecure. I bet since you are best friends she feels like that behavior is acceptable. She probably doesn't behave nearly as "godlike" to everyone else.

Don't worry about risking your frienship. True friends remain friends no matter what obstacles are thrown their ways.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

[NirvanaCobain]

first of all if she doesn't let you have an opinion, that ISNT a friend. I would know, my so called "best friend" was that way. Always criticizing what I had to say and I couldn't put up with it anymore, if I view something different I will damn well say it and not give a fck what ANYONE has to say [i am very stubborn] so I stopped talking to her and she got the hint. You need better friends not someone who is always gonna criticize what you say