I'm ashamed of my family, would you date girl who has such family?

[Anonymous]

I date this guy one month , he is awesome, I met his siblings and parents, they have big home, are rich.. and are so ideal, loving family, I like his mom. But I am afraid if he meets my family he will leave me, because :

- my dad is an alcoholic and my mom is very different than his mom , she has nervous problems

- they live in very small, terrible flat ( I live in hostel now)

- my parents are poor .

Would you leave girl who has such family? would you date such girl?

[Simple-Simonette]

Can I just say this:

Who you are is the product of your past, your experiences, and your upbringing. Whether living in the conditions you did strengthened your perseverance, character, and values or there was enough love in your family life to maintain all the above - that is who he chooses to be with right now. If not for what you have lived with - who would you be?

Don't be ashamed of the choices your parents made - those were their decisions and have no relevance on what characteristics that others should judge you for - especially the man you are dating.

If you don't want to introduce him to your family right now - be honest. Explain to him "it's complicated" and leave it at that, but don't feel bad about your family. That's not your burden to carry.

I come from a crazy family, and only one man has met them - my husband. On our wedding day.

Be proud of who you are and what obstacles you overcame to be where you are. Without the negative, the positive can't shine. If he can't see that then he doesn't deserve you.

Best of luck!

[bunny_luv]

wow that is very well said. I have a lot of respect for what you explained :o)

[Prof_Don]

I absolutely love reading your answers. :)

thumb-up #1 for you.

[thistleknot]

you made a contradiction

Who you are is the product of your past, your experiences, and your UPBRINGING.

Don't be ashamed of the choices your parents made - those were their decisions and have no relevance on what characteristics that others should judge you for

When some well to do people meet family, they think marriage qualifications. They see parents, they see upbringing.

[Anonymous]

my man comes from a wealthier home than me and I've told him that I hav crazy alcoholic parents one of whom is racist (my boyfriend is black, I'm white) and he doesn't care. You can't choose your parents or the situation you are born into, and if he really likes you then he won't like you any less because of your misfortunes.

[MrOracle]

None of that alone would make any difference to me; the only way any of that could have an effect on our relationship is if you wanted to follow in their footsteps. And as crazy as it may sound, some people literally do want to follow an example they KNOW to be bad, because it's what they know and what they are comfortable with. As long as that wasn't what you wanted, then we'd be all good.

You don't get to choose your family, and you can still love them without having to make all the same mistakes they do.

Really, it comes down to your attitude; if that's okay, then we're good to go.