My sister keeps stealing my guys...Any suggestions on what to do?

[homunculust]

My sister is 3 years younger than me. We are very close and have many of the same interests.

Being as she has a tough time making friends, usually I make the friends and she winds up being their friends too. Sometimes I'll bring home a guy I am interested in or a really close guy friend (If I'm interested, I'll tell her) and the next thing I know, they're dating.

It really makes it difficult for me because:

1. that's my sister dating the guy I like/my best guy-pal

2. When they break up with her, they have to stop being my friend (according to both parties)

3. After they break up, I usually hear all the intimate details about what a horrible lover/person he was, and then she expects me to thank her for saving me from a sh*tty relationship

4. she has a tendancy to be a little psychotic in the relationship, badmouthing me to them and them to me, and even forbade two of the guys from speaking to me after they started dating (I worked with one of them, and the other I found out from his mother.)

5. she's done some stuff to mess with her exes and expects me to condone it, and some of it honestly has stopped them from getting jobs.

My sister is wittier and prettier than me (although we look alike), but I am smarter, easier to get along with and work harder. Twice, I even pretended to like two of my guy friends just to see if she would go after them, and she did. Even when I don't tell her, she somehow figures out who it is.

Any suggestions on what to do?

[toouglytobeloved]

your sister keeps stealing your guys probably because she moves on them faster than you perhaps your "hanging up" the relationships and your sister "unhangs" them..

rule: some guys like girls who move fast on us and do things to show that your interested in us ... guys are different than girls -girls seem to want one thing a month or once a year while guys want it all at once over and over

perhaps your sister knows this

[Opalivian]

She steals your friends because she doesn't have as many. Your the only one providing her with a steady amount of friends. What do you do?

Stop letting them meet at your house. Don't even say you have a sister unless they ask. I've had the same problem. Being too nice just hurts yourself.

[AlphaFemale]

Stop bringing them home. Simple as that. I have a sister too who does this. I finally told her either she left my men alone or I would hurt her. Then I just quit bringing my men with me. Wait until your in a stable relationship

[planetanarchy]

agree

[planetanarchy]

I hate it when f***ing friends do this let alone a sister! don't bring the dudes home, date outside (don't got o their home either) and let them build an attachment for you first.

[planetanarchy]

your sister has a problem... and I know problems like that usually dont' go away --- she will end up doing this with everyone not just you. I don't know what could help it outside of therapy, but even then we don't knwo what's going on and her reasons for doing it, it usually stems from low self esteem and uninvolved parents, but it could be entitelment issues, which rarely resolves itself even in therapy, unless you are the dude and she wants something from you.

[planetanarchy]

badmouthed you and scapegoated you---and you are the harder worker, I wonder if there is a scapegoating dynamic going on. are you more liekly to be in situations where you are bullied too?

[planetanarchy]

"done stuff to mess with exes" you could be dealing with elements of any of these three: Narcissism/Sociopathy/Histrionic. I don't know how old you are exactly, but start saving yourself from your family *now* before more of your life gets wasted not doing the thigns you want to do. build support networks outside of your family and sister, that none of them know, or will know, etc. best of luck :( and kit <3

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Honestly I would put my hands on her on a not so nice way.she's supposed to be family and you don't betray your blood like that.seriously she needs her ass kicked

[CrystalMinds]

Have you talked to her about this? If you're that close she should take it into account for "the next guy". Tell her how much you hate this behavior and the fact that when the relationship ends again, you lose a friend.

[homunculust]

I'm sorry. I bumped the mouse and accidentally clicked the down button. I think your reply is good, I have talked to her twice about it. The first time, she said he came on to her, which I thought (fairly) that it could be true, The second time, I stopped speaking to her for a week and she blamed me for it. I think she just doesn't care...

[CrystalMinds]

Well, next time if you fancy a guy and she doesn't care, tell her to get her "claws" off him because he's yours. Make sure you make a move soon enough ;)

[Anonymous]

She can't possibly be with every guy you find, just keep looking...

[homunculust]

so far, it's been all but three. One had a girlfriend I didn't know about, one was gay, and the other was one of the guys I was faking over. I don't find guys I like often, but when I do, I like them.

[AndyWes]

Take her out. But, you know, discreetly.