My best guy friend hates my crush, what do I do?

[Anonymous]

My crush, let's call him Adam. We've been flirting with each other for some time and everyone around us can tell we like each other. But my best guy friend is less than impressed. These two guys have known each other for years, longer than I have known either. But my guy friend is strongly discouraging me from going out with Adam., but won't tell me why. He just won't. And he is serious because he's saying if I go out with Adam, he's going to distance himself from me. What do I do? I definitely don't want to lose my best guy friend but I also like Adam quite a bit.

It might sound silly that I'm passing up on a chance at love but he knows Adam much better than I do and maybe wants to protect me from getting hurt? I'm so lost. And it's not like my guy friend likes me too since he has his own girlfriend and they're a great couple.

Listen to the friend

Ignore the friend

Other, please explain

[worzt]

in my country there's an expression that translates as something close to "take from whom it comes" kind of, is not what he says, is who he is, if he is a FRIEND in all the extension of the word, in the purest way, then you should hear his advice, then again a lot of male who are BFF with a girl would secretely want to be BF, so if that is his situation he might be biased, one simple way to evaluate the situation, since he is your friend, have you dated other guys? if so, how has he reacted, if he was generally uncomfortable then he might like you a bit, but if it is only THIS guy who he dissaproves then there may be a good reason for that, I know a guy who is not even a friend, just and ex classmate, who, for some reason will always send mails with pictures of his girls, private ones, most kind of voyeur, not going to lie, I watch them, but if I found out he was dating my best female friend I would advise against it but in all honesty I would also have a hard time explaining why I wouldn't want her to date him, and like I said, that guy is not a friend nor I'm interchanging pics with him or in anyway collaborating on his exposing females, but I participated, in fact I haven't blocked him or anything, so I'll be a little shy about it, also, perhaps he used to bully him and that's why he doesn't like him, and also why he wouldn't tell, he might be ashamed, there are many reasons why would he dislike him and why would he not tell, but again "take it from whom it comes" if he is your FRIEND, no platonic love involved, then you'll be wrong to ignore his advice, he you have a reason to doubt the purity of the frienship then tell him "either you tell me why not, or would date him"

[Asker]

Thank you for your answer. It really made me think.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Your best guy friend sounds like he's interested in you as more than a guy friend. Or that'd be my guess since that's usually the case. Even if he has a girlfriend doesn't mean he wasn't interested at some point and might still be deep down.

However, on the account he's not interested in you like that and really does know the guy, it's a good bet he knows something about the guy and how he is in relationships and probably warns you and if you don't listen he doesn't wanna deal with the drama between you two and take sides if sh*t happens.

[Asker]

I guess so yeah. Thanks!

[vice-chix1]

Your best guy "friend" is upset -- and is trying to protect you to keep you for himself. I would bet dollars-to-donuts he's crushing on you!

He's choosing to "distance" himself - -becuase its probably too painful to see you with another dude.

My 2 cents.

[Asker]

1st point: well he has a girlfriend so he can't be with me...

2nd point: but yeah okay maybe...

conclusion: you have a good point +1

[Yurippe]

Well, either he tells you why, or you let him distance himself.

If he doesn't tell you why, he either doesn't care enough or he just made something up because he secretly likes you. At least that's my guess.

[Asker]

Good point thank you

[Anonymous]

If my best female friend wouldn't tell me why she disapproves of someone I would keep bugging her about it for a while longer. If she still wouldn't tell me I'd listen to her, but probably wouldn't trust her as much and I would probably make sure she knew it. If she is my best friend I don't see why she'd withold information from me.

[Asker]

True. Thank you

[yopyopyop]

If you are sure your best friend doesn't do it because he secretly has a crush on you, listen to him. But only if you are certain he doesn't say that out of jealousy.

[DutchAtheist]

I'm pretty sure that he knows his friend well enough to have good reason to discourage you. Or, he himself is a scumbag and he doesn't want you to find out once you get with his friend.

[ymcaskrt]

Explanation is basically that he wants you for himself

[Anonymous]

He probably knows something bad about your crush