I asked out my best friend and now it's awkward. Will we ever be close again?

[cityboy2323]

So a while back I asked out my best friend (girl) we've known each other for a while and been really close like hour long phone convos every night and we see each other every day, I'm even at her house all weekend every weekend. At first she rejected me and told me I was to close a friend to lose but she came back and told me she made a mistake and asked for another shot. But then she told me it wouldn't work out so we didn't get together. We went through this about 8 times where she told me she wanted to try it and then said no. It finally got to a point where I said I'm done with the maybes, either give me a chance or don't but we can't keep this up.

She said no and after more events of me miss reading things like her inviting me to sleep over at her house and then ignoring me for another guy who wasn't even invited he just decided to sleep over. we have stopped talking now and I don't know what she wants. Its been 8 weeks since I asked her out and she's changed her mind literally every week. I haven't talked to her for 2 days which is huge for us considering we usually talk for hours on end every day.

Will I ever lose these feelings for her and will we ever become close friends again and just friends again?

Updates

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To everyone who wants to know this ended badly and were not talking. Its summer so I won't get to see her and I think its over, completely, our friendship everything. Its really sad cause we were really close but its gone now. I just lost my best friend.

Updates

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But even though this ended badly I want to thank you all for the support and the comments, really it means a lot to get feedback when none of my guy friends can help and I have no where else to turn.

Updates

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Thank you all though

[authentic]

" I just lost my best friend. "

In life, there are many blessings in disguise, and this is one.

Eight rollar-coaster (yo-yo, if you like) rides through hell, with someone who has, as one commenter said, symptoms of bi-polar problems, isn't enough ? If not, how many, eighteen, eighty, eight hundred ? Rest assure she is capable of giving those numbers to you if you ask for it.

(Astrologically, this is the classic Gemini ascendant --- I have a friend's boyfriend who is like that for 20 years, she is now 45 and he is 48, she is still waiting for him to marry her, and he still can't figure out what he is still playing yo-yo", both are highfliers/achievers in life, the male being German and female being Brazilian, ... you imagine her situation yourself...)

I have to make a modification with on my comment "She doesn't know what she wants". She did, at 10:00 am, she wanted you. She also did, at 10:00pm, she did not want you. That's the kind of "I know what I want" with this "best friend" of yours.

Her only compatible companion, if she is a bi-polar, is to find another bi-polar. That way, neither takes each other seriously, and the harm is kept to a minimal.

In, I would say, maximum a year's time, when you look back, you will agree with me, and others who gave you their advices. Your split is a blessing in disguise.

Don't go for mediocre relationships, they make you worse than when you have no relationship. Forget about this girl (important). Set clearly what you want with a girl, , FOCUS on her until she shows up. Make no compromises.

[AngryNes]

Your "best friend" doesn't sound very friendly from what I'm reading. I'm pretty sure you're still a young guy. Too young to have to be dealing with these complications. I say that as much as it sucks, you should cut yourself off from her, completely. She will only end up hurting you more than she already has in the long run.

Notice her actions now because if you ever hooked up with her that would be one hell of an unnecessary headache! I went through a similar bout and it ended pretty ugly.

In the end, you're really going to have to move on. It's never easy but maybe weeks, months, or even years from now when you do find Miss Right, you'll be glad you did. True love is never earned, it's just there...

[classact]

so from a woman who is someone's "bestfriend" let me just say that she is NOT, I repeat NOT interested. I went through something similar, although a little more intense. It doesn't take much for a woman to fall. If you gave her an ultimatum and said "its all or nothing", she may be afraid of losing the "'friendship" that once upon a time she had. (before someones feelings, came and messed everything up.)

If you guys get along GREAT as friends, it natural to think, wow we'll get along SUPERBLY as lovers. Uhhhhh that is, if you are both attracted to each other. The likeliness is that she prob not attracted to you in one way or another. Naturally we (as women) think we should be with someone we get along greatly with... and if you find that she is changing her mind all the time, its prob because she knows she should be with you, since you get along so great, but she also knows that if she does jump into a relationship, she may not be 100% happy, so internally she struggles with her decision. should I settle? or not? he is a good guy...? but I dunno? I mean we get along great! but stiil... there's that one thing that he does that annoys me so much!

lol. that's my opinion. I could be wrong, but being in this same ordeal... that's how I felt.

in my situation, we have remained friends, but inspite of all my efforts of keeping things the same, they have changed greatly.

[cityboy2323]

But here's the thing, she had a huge crush on me and that's how we got to know each other, but I rejected her originally cause I had a on and off girlfriend and it was to rough to get involved with someone else. So she was attracted to me and when I asked her out it wasnt a simple quick rejection she has actualy been thinking about it and she just keeps changing her mind saying that she "doesnt want to go through all that again" when I ask if she could like me again... its confusing :(

[classact]

I suppose that might be different. her ego may be a have initially been a little crushed. I personally may not want to got through that again either, but all in all, if she's really into you, she'll find away to make it work. you need to be sure you have cut all ties to the ex though, otherwise, it will not work.

[cityboy2323]

Nevermind we just had a falling out completly and I think were done. She was complaining saying that she was sorry this is the way shed have to end it with her best friend but were done. Summers coming up and were not gonna hang out cause she's upset with me and I'm upset with her. Its really sad it had to end this way but I guess our friendship is over.

[confusedgirl101]

this is a little out of my leage,

but I'll give it a shot,

it sounds like she has similiar feelings, it also sounds like she's bi-polar lol jk

but it sounds like you need to move on,

and if she's a true friend she will make an attempt to get ahold of you .

These feelings may stay, at least until you find someone else to share these feelings with .

it seems like she isn't ready for a sincere relationship with you .

... I tried .

Sorry .

[nappycurls]

When you try to convert a friendship into a relationship everything changes.

That person will always have in the back of their mind that you like them.

I don't know what kind of girl she is...she's giving you mixed signals and that's wrong.

Move on with your life and find someone who's straight and not going to play games

with your heart.

[nappycurls]

I meant find someone who is straight forward.

[cityboy2323]

Thank you I think I'm gonna do that.

[AngryNes]

Like I responded before, it ended pretty ugly for me, and it's of little surprise that it ended ugly for you too. You're the more mature one. Like you said, the summer's here, go have fun and meet new people. This will blow over in no time! Good luck, amigo!

[cityboy2323]

Wow I just can't believe that its over and that were not gonna talk anymore... I've hung out at her house every weekend since december. What ever I'm not gonna be the one to call her back up, I cant, after all weve been through it would be wrong to prolong it. It sux that its ending like this though. I hope it didn't end like this for you too.

[AngryNes]

Oh, it was much worse. I actually have to work with her (she is a co-worker of mine, unfortunately). Listen, you should be more careful about picking your friends as well. You said she was your best friend but you've only been going to her house for the past six months. That doesn't mean much. Trust me, best friends are much more than that. Have fun, man, it's summer!

[cityboy2323]

Well she's not really my best friend (shes more my best girl friend) cause I've got a ton of guy friends who I occasionally ditch to be with her... oh and btw yeah that does suck if she's ur coworker honestly I'm in 5 classes with her I can't imagine all that god you must b in a living hell.

Well yeah summers coming up and this situation sucks but my friend promised to introduce me to her friends from camp who are apparently really good looking so well see what happens

thanx for the advice

[AngryNes]

It wasn't so bad. She was eventually exposed for the person that she was and her little self-centered world came crumbling around. You play with fire, you'll get burned!

[cityboy2323]

Btw when I said my friend I was reffering to a diffrent girl. And yeah I haven't talked to the original girl (who I was really close with) for nearly a week and apparently she's pretty hurt (her friends told me) but she still hasn't called me and I'm not gonna be the one to start things again. So thank you for helping out but yeah I think weve both gotten burned by this thing cause this is hurting me a lot more than id like to have believed.

[AngryNes]

No problem, dude. It's all part of growing up and becoming a man. One day you're gonna look back at this and laugh and say stuff like "What the hell was wrong with me?" You're doing the right thing by leaving it as it is. If she's hurt then she did that to herself and she knows it. You sound like a pretty cool guy, you'll no doubt find someone much better in the near future. But for now be glad that you're single. Feel free to roam around planet Earth until you time to settle down comes...

[authentic]

"I don't know what she wants."

From what you wrote, neither did she. That's her problem, not yours, unless you choose to become part of her problem.

The question that would bring a happier future for you , if answered with clarity, is, "What kind of girl do I want ?"