Just Because You're Hot Doesn't Mean You Have "It"

Just Because You're Hot Doesn't Mean You Have

Girls and guys, I have one question for you: Do you know what the word "presence" means?

It seems these days that almost nobody has it. And when I say "it," I'm referring to presence, an indefinable magnetism generated by a singular charm and charisma. I believe certain people are born with the capacity to have "it" but they have to cultivate and refine it as they grow; they can't just expect it to shine through with no effort expended.

I'm just wondering why so few people seem to have "it." Of course, it's a rare quality but it's almost as if nobody even wants this presence or magnetism. They're perfectly happy with just trying to be "hot," maybe because we're so obsessed with sex and the visual element of relationships that we've started to regress in the realm of interpersonal relationships. In this way, perhaps there are reasons why "it" has started to disappear.

Just Because You're Hot Doesn't Mean You Have "It"

Lower EQ (Emotional Intelligence/Quotient)

By now, everyone is well aware of the negative implications of sitting in front of screens for most of the day, and letting machines do most of our "communication." A lack of face-to-face interaction absolutely and undoubtedly impacts a person's social ability, thereby hindering any chance of attaining a singular personal magnetism. Creepily, everyone is starting to have the same character traits and flaws; many can't meet your eyes, they mumble and look at their feet, they have the attention span of a gnat, they have no idea how to carry on a conversation, etc.

At this point, the average person may have a lower EQ/EI than any human civilization in history.

Obsession with "Image"

Just Because You're Hot Doesn't Mean You Have "It"

Let's get this straight- image doesn't have anything to do with presence. Image is strictly about marketing, whether you're actively trying to sell yourself (ala Lady Gaga), or you're simply trying to "sell" yourself to others. I'm not talking about prostitution; I'm just referring to our incessant drive to have an image we can present to the world. We're so obsessed with the idea of promoting individuality that in fact, it's backfiring to the point where everybody just tries to look like a "rebel" or has the "I don't care what I look like" attitude, which has never been and will never be even remotely appealing or attractive.

Indifference is a trend, I know. It's supposed to enhance your appeal and maybe it does (for some people). But it certainly has nothing to do with charm and charisma and ultimately, "it."

Obviously, the subjective nature of this topic makes "it" a difficult term. I believe young people will probably say one of those popular Twilight teens has "it," or maybe one of the many highly packaged, almost entirely artificial pop stars that strut around on stage with little verifiable talent but a lot of exposed skin. However, "it" should transcend generations and time; these amazing people who have such a rare quality are timeless because of that quality. In other words, I should look at one of these modern celebrities and see "it" because everyone can see it.

Just Because You're Hot Doesn't Mean You Have "It"

I'm just not sure it exists, though. I can't seem to find it. I have to scroll backward through time to find it. There are certain celebrities and social figures in human history that have this magnetism, this quality that you can't look away from; it doesn't matter what they're doing, saying, or wearing. They just dominate the room. They draw every eye and ear. It's not just beauty, either; it's not about being obscenely hot. Scarlett Johansson is silly hot but I can look away. She doesn't demand my attention simply by being there.

And by the way, this isn't entirely about attraction, either. We should all be able to recognize the magnetism and charisma of any gender, regardless of sexual preferences. That's what "it" really is, the ability to appeal to anyone and everyone, to be riveting and fascinating in all ways regardless of situation or time period. They're not necessarily performers, they don't have to have incredible sex appeal; they just have IT.

Social ability and beauty (external and internal) are parts of the whole but there's no way to explicitly define the whole, or why it's so alluring. But when you see it, you know it. You feel it. You know this person is special. ...how often does this happen to you? Has it ever?

Just Because You're Hot Doesn't Mean You Have "It"
40 Opinion