We live in a world where people are obsessed with beauty. So I thought it is important that I share this opinion of mine. This post may seem like it is kinda for girls, but that's mainly because I am a girl myself. The basic message of this post is for EVERYONE. :)
Before that, see this image because it influences my attitude towards my looks a lot.
I personally divide beauty into two parts
Can I do anything about my acne issue? Can I do anything about my height? The answers to these questions make me divide beauty into two parts. Beauty can't be practically divided or anything so please don't take it seriously, but thinking that way makes life easier for me.
A. Things that I can control
I can control my acne by using the right skincare products. I can make my hair healthy by using the right hair products. I can keep my nails looking pretty. I can look more in-shape by good diet and exercise. All such things fall in my first category.
When I have an issue with any of those, I work on them. Once I was really insecure about my thinning hair to the point that I would cry... and I felt terrible and ugly. But I started taking care of my hair, using hair oil regularly and eventually I started to love my hair. Yes it's thin but look at that shine, and how pretty and flowy it is. <3
B. Things that I can't control
I am short and I cannot make myself tall. I am medium-dark and I cannot make my skin darker or lighter than that (except slight changes depending on how much I am exposed to the sun). I can't change my eye color. I cannot change my nose shape.
When I have any issues about them, I ask myself that... I can do nothing about them so why stress?
I know there are some grey areas in this case, and surgery and other procedures have made certain things possible to change, such as breast size. But I don't complicate my thoughts that much.
A small advice regarding colorism
The place where I live, dark skin is an unattractive trait and people told me the worst stuff regarding my skin tone! And then comes Fair and Lovely Fairness Cream, preaching that you will never get a job and a husband if you're dark. I have vitiligo, and once a girl literally told me, "Why don't you just let it spread all over your body so that you become fair all over?"
GURL. If that happens, and I finally get my entire life together like they show in Fair and Lovely Fairness Cream ads... I become pale and so the boss not only hires me but also gives me promotion because pale skin comes with years of experience, my family lives in a diamond palace, I get a rich and handsome alpha man husband, and then we have kids... and they are born dark... I'LL BE BUSTED. My hubby's gonna be like, "They're not my kids! Why are they so dark?!" But-but-but... they ARE still my skin tone!
REAL TALK NOW. Skin tone is determined by the amount of melanin in our skin. Melanin protects our skin from the sun, and this is why people in Africa tend to be really dark, so that their skin is protected from the crazy amount of sun that they get when they are outdoors. But in places like the north of Europe, where sunlight isn't very abundant, it is actually necessary that people living there can absorb the little sunlight that they get instead of fighting it off because Vitamin D is produced in our bodies when our skin is exposed to the sun. And without enough Vitamin D we can get rickets. So people from many Western countries have very pale skin so that their skin can absorb sunlight.
In many places pale skin or dark skin is disliked and made fun of. I just want you to know that, nature has given you this skin tone so that you are best suited to the place where you are from (and not people's socially constructed beauty standards that is created by hierarchy). Think of your skin color as a BLESSING. Embrace it!
My thought on my own appearance
Beauty. One and only thing about me that is completely based on how OTHERS see me. If people say that I am beautiful, then I am beautiful. If people say that I am ugly, then I am ugly. This is why neither do I let compliments take me on high clouds, nor do I let insults make me insecure.
People do tell me that I am getting prettier overtime, and I am like, well ok. Nothing special, I am growing up to be a young adult and it is NORMAL that I will get prettier with time. Science, biology and all. In the same way, at one point of time my beauty (at least a part of it) will start to fade away. This is a natural part of growth and there is nothing to be happy or sad about it. And it is possible to lose beauty in a split second. I could get acid thrown in my face, I could have an injury, my vitiligo could worsen...
I am very beauty-conscious, though. I love to look my best all the time. I do care about my appearance, but I don't stress too much about it and am comfortable in my own skin. It's like an "All is well" situation. I can make myself look my best, but I can't look like someone else. Nor can I control how people see me, whether they find me attractive or not.
To summarize my thoughts: I look like myself and try to be my best version, and then it's no more my headache what people think of my looks. Period.
The reason I shared this myTake is because, I have been overly self-conscious about my looks in past, and I have been very insecure. And listening to people hoping that it would make me feel better didn't help me. It actually made me crazier, and I bet if you listen to everyone's opinions you too will get crazy. There have been times when I wanted to be taller, and there have been times when I wanted to be shorter. Sometimes I couldn't decide what haircut to get because different people like different hair length! And then those thoughts, "I'm not skinny enough" "I wish I had more curves". Oh. Dear. Lord. I was literally crazy.
It is hard to believe it, but there are always people out there who like you for who you are and what you have. It is not easy to overcome your insecurities, but I hope this post makes it a little less hard for you to be positive. In all seriousness, have a balanced diet, drink plenty of water, do your favorite exercise regularly, be hygienic, wear clothes that look good on you and afterwards whoever makes fun of you can go fuck themselves. In the a$$.
I am kind of aware of the comments that I might get in this post, and I may or may not decide to write another myTake as a response. *whispers* Some of the responses are already planned.
If you read till the end on this post, then you're awesome. Thanks for reading! :)
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