Thin shaming is just as bad as fat shaming

Thin shaming is just as bad as fat shaming

I was born to a tall and lean father and a tall and lean mother, I’m 176 cm amd I’m really thin: even my bones are “small”, that’s genetics.

In high school, it happened quite frequently that other kids would ask me whether I ate or wether I wasn’t anorexic or something. I was not, I was just thin: I ate normally, did sport as any kid my age did, and up until that moment I had never thought much about the way I looked. I started being bothered by the fact I was thin, people’s comments made me feel like something was wrong with me. I started eating a lot of fatty stuff, drinking cream instead of milk, and guess what? Just like a genetically overweight person can do anything without results, I didn’t gain a single pound.

As I grew up, I started not caring about it anymore, even if every time I get naked in front of someone, I wonder what they’ll think of the fact you can see a bit of my chest bones.

But the comments didn't stop. Today i sat down at the cafeteria with a 50 years old colleague. I usually eat at the restaurant with some friend over lunch, it’s the first time I eat at the company’s cafeteria. As she saw me arrive, in front of all of it colleagues, she said “oh, so you eat! We thought you didn’t eat”.

Next to her was sitting my overweight secretary. No one would ever think to comment on her weight, because fat shaming is offensive and politically incorrect. But thin shaming is not. Aborexia is a psychological illness, and I don’t find it very fun that a colleague tells me she “thought I didn’t eat” just because I’m thin, just as an overweight person won’t like being mocked about having some illness that causes their fatness.

#bodyshaming


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Most Helpful Guys

  • I completely agree and understand where you are coming from.
    I fought this when i was younger I was always being told that i need to get some "meat" on my bones... but as you said genetics won't let you gain weight no matter what you try. Like me you have the cursed blessing of having a high metabolism. It hasn't been until recently that i have been able to put on weight "appropriate" to my height since my metabolism is slowing down lol.

    And before everyone says that people with a high metabolism are lucky to be able eat anything and not gain weight from it, it does have drawbacks. one of those is constantly being having no money trying to your keep stomach satisfied and not eating at itself since you are almost always hungry.

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  • They say that because they are jealous. You sound sexy tbh. You have to realize most people are honestly straight up pieces of shit. The reason they do things is to bring you down. I promise. So they are all upset at how chubby and ugly they are so they beat up on you. It makes them feel better.

    My advice is own it. Just be like, "Omg (overweight secretaries name here), my boyfriend won't stop talking about how he is dating a Victoria's Secret model and I don't think I look that good but i love how much i turn him on." You will put her on a bad day real quick saying shit like that. lmao

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I went through the same thing from my childhood until my university years.. At one point I had enough and I shut them up by saying something positive about my body like "Yea I know so I can be a model one day" and gave them the biggest smile. I guess reading about supermodels going through the same thing when they were younger helps with my self worth and confidence. If someone ever comment on how much I ate back then I'd say "crazy right? I can eat as much as I want and never get fat. What a blessing!"

    As long as you're healthy, not below your BMI then there should not be any problem. Self-love and positive attitude can help to boost your confidence without destroying others. You don't need to insult them back and be at their level.

    At the end of the day, thin is considered more attractive than fat. You don't need to starve yourself and workout excessively just to be thinner. Be happy, thankful and enjoy life!

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  • I understand where you are coming from. My sister is naturally skinny and tall. Most people shamed her and spread nasty rumours about her (such as "she really thinks her bones will impress people huh"). I, on the other hand, am curvy and tall, and people would say stuff like 'you could be someone''s bodyguard' basically saying I am huge.
    Both are bad. However, I will say that people are not called out for shaming thin people, as they don't think it is 'that much of a deal'. Back then, people shamed overweight people more. Now it is seen as sort of unacceptable to comment on an overweight person's weight. No one has really addressed the other side of the issue though. Hope they will, because neither skinny-shaming nor fat-shaming are okay.

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What Guys Said 37

  • Yes shaming people over their body is bad. I do see some people claim you have to shame people to get them to gain or lose weight but I think shaming usually upset and depresses people and they end up spending more time doing self comforting things when you shame them. When people feel good about their bodies then they often have the confidence and energy to work out

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  • Skinny equals healthy.
    Fat equals unhealthy.

    Shaming someone for being healthy is stupid. While I don't believe that people should be bullied for being fat, their unhealthy lifestyle should not be promoted and they should be encouraged to take better care of themselves.

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    • That's a horribly oversimplified and inaccurate description of what is healthy

  • I have never seen or even heard of thinshaming actually happening in real life.

    That's like, "pretty-shaming."

    "God Becky, you're such a pretty girl. You're the prettiest girl in the world."

    "Wahh! How could you say that? What did I do to you? Waahhhh!!"

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    • So true. LOL. have never ever heard of it and it sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud like that.

      Fat shaming on the other hand... seen it happen A LOT in high school, college, workplace, and university. The overweight people in my local schools were bullied tremendously whereas the skinny girls were the popular ones.

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    • "Bones are for dogs", just an example.

    • @inmensus Have you ever been held down and beaten by several of your peers for being thin? How many times?

  • That sucks, if it can help I am not thin at all I guess I am average but in some part of my body you see my bones anyway. I hope you can make them understand if you ever talk to them about it and that you can find peace and stop being anxious about others thoughts :)

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  • YES very much so, we all have ideal when it comes weight and size in prefer thinner medium height women , but I would not berate anyone because they are fat or overly skinny. You don't know what she is going through it could be causing her a lot of anxiety , last thing she needs is someone who thinks they are perfect ( which usually they not) to be bad mouthing anyone about their weight …..

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  • The majority of people these days are fat.
    The society no longer knows what a healthy weight should look like.
    Welcome to the backwards lands, where the fat and disgusting have become the rule.

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  • Hey, you are not alone. I m 190 cm and slim, and I can relate. If you are 176 cm tall, your height is beautiful.
    The interesting question is, Are you 55 kg or less? If you are, then you are considered really thin and in some places may be subject to bullying.
    This although many models of around your height are thin as a rail.

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  • Grow some balls.

    There is "shame" in the world. I'm not really concerned about any type of shaming. Quit worrying and caring about what everyone thinks or says.

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  • Yes, thin shaming is as bad as fat shaming, because both are sticking one's nose in somebody else's business.

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  • Naw... shaming is good. People these days have no shame and they really should have SOME. ;)

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    • I agree with you. But I oppose fat shaming because people use it to get the focus off their own faults, which are usually worse than being fat. They are not doing it to shame the person into being thin and healthy.

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    • You should care, because if people were nice instead of being assholes, the world would be much more pleasant. And if you don't have an 8 pack of abs and have every muscle and vein popping out, bodybuilders could say: Fat is fat. They would be right.

    • @Phanta Ah, you're one of those 'should' people. Shoulding everybody to death. Got it. ;)

  • Yeah being skinny can suck. I used to be skinny. You can turn it around by just eating a lot and working out. You would be one of those normal weight fit girls that are super hot.

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  • Agreed- it can be really rough (I know this from personal experience).

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  • Next time someone says something stupid just slap them.

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  • I disagree, if you are fat you are an unworthy human and you deserve to be treated as such.

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  • You have to get the nuance of the psychology here. Everyone knows it's healthier and more attractive to be thin than fat. That's not the issue. Thin shaming is a form of denial.

    Why are thin shamers given a pass and fat shamers not? It's a matter of the subtle psychology.

    Calling out fat shamers and not thin shamers is an admission that fat people deserve pity because of their undesirable condition and that thin people don't need that protection because of their desirable condition. It's an admission that fat people should not be subject to criticism because they already suffer enough having to be fat.

    I think it's really that simple (although not obvious without some thought).

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  • Very true. Sorry to hear you and so many people are treated like that.

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  • I get what you are saying, but do you wish you weren't as skinny? Because a lot of people like to play the genetics card. For example, fat people say something along the lines of "no matter how little I eat I cannot lose weight" and underweight people say the opposite. But the thing is, if you eat less calories than your body burns, it is physiologically impossible to not lose weight, and if you eat more calories than your body burns, it is physiologically impossible to not gain weight. A lot of people claim they eat a certain amount of food, but in reality they have no idea how many calories they are consuming. So if you actually want to gain weigh, check out this website called iifym. com. It will tell you everything you need to know

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    • I think she just Durant want to be bothered. It’s true if you really want to gain weight you will. When oroooe day I tried and just can’t, they are not eating more than they need, consistently.

    • @VIVANT oroooe? What is that?

    • People*

      I hate that typo bc it always happens and my phone should know it by now

      😊

  • At the end of the day it’s better to be thin than fat though lol

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  • My Sister 1 yr older than me went through this as well, I didn't even know it was a thing before her. She loathed the many comments she'd recieve from people and family ever since she was a kid.
    I thought she looked great and never had a problem getting guys.
    People who make wise cracks are doing it because they're envious. They wouldn't say it if there wasn't some assumption that you know they'd trade places with you in an instant which some how makes shaming you okay. I wish people knew how arrogant and rude and damaging it really is. I wanna walk up to their desks randomly say "wow, you're not eating? I thought you were always stuffing your face." I'd never say that but, it's a satisfying thought.
    I just know it doesn't feel good being belittled and having your self image unfairly fucked with.

    One day our metabolisms will change and we'll eventually join the fight against fat.

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  • That don't mean Shit. You could get fat as shit no matter who daddy is

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  • True.

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  • Being a skinny guy, I can totally relate

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  • Yes you are right. Everyone should be healthy tho

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  • thin people never get shamed off

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  • I like the middle doll lol
    I’d do that one

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  • Fat shaming is warranted.

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  • people are entitled to opinions and to speak.

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  • Interesting take

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  • Yeah shaming someone for their body is very bad

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  • It is good to balanced

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What Girls Said 44

  • It depends, some very skinny people think they are normal looking and everyone who looks normal is overweight. I had seen a girl that was 120lbs at 6 feet or more and she thought a 12 year old girl was fat because she fit into her pants. If think it's ok to tell those people the truth: that they are too skinny and have a distorted image on what is healthy.
    However, I do not think anyone should have any business on how anyone looks unless that endangers them.

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  • It’s annoying but I don’t think it has anything to do with not fat shaming bc that is fine all the tine. That is why there is all that promotion if not doing it.

    For the most part I don’t care except when people act lke my being thin is somehow a direct offense against them or like Im making a statement. The worst worst is if I’m not hungry or eating a salad people actively get all ’ knowing’ As if they saw some movie and know I’m depriving myself. Pisses me off but I try to ignore it and just be appreciative I’m healthy and super energetic. It’s not that I’d want to trade places and I’m not concerned about gaining bc it’s not my issue.. I just find it very obnoxious when anyone assumes anything without knowing a thing. Regardless of what it is. It can have very negative consequences. If there is gossip and defsbation many’s an employer won't hire you bc they firm a prejudice or someone won’t trust you to do a job bc they assume you can’t or you get ostracized bc people assume something mustc be wrong.

    Problem is when anyone gets reduced to a ‘ thjng’ whatever that thing is. Humans are live complex evolving beings in motion. there is no definitive assessment can be made from a glance at a person. It’s just arrogant and desperate but can gsve devastating results when it turns into cult mentality.

    People get killed over something someone decides they don’t like about them. you don’t have to like everyone or want to be them but you can still mind your own business.

    There shouldn’t be as a common activity looking at picture and judging people, as if a picture tells you anything significant. It’s a sick part of culture today. And people often think little if it until it’s something that gets turned against them.

    I would necer turn around an insult bc thats just part of the same problem. There is nothing to really judge about a person from looking at them. We dk what the story is and it’s not anyone’s business unless the person wants to discuss.

    Whatever compels people and helps them feel justified deciding someone has an eating disorder ( fat or thin itself is not a disorder or a character flaw) is the same mrchanism that gets innocent people Locked up for being violent or terrorist or drug dealer pedo danger to society etc.

    If someone says something I just stare at them until they feel like I’m judging them and invading their soul and they feel uncomfortable and hopefully , if they have any insight at all, until they realize they are doing exactly that to me and it’s inappropriate. And they look away and shut up. I’ve had people actually tell me I make them feel fat. One person asked me to move away bc it made her uncomfortable... As if I’m supposed to adjust who I am so they can feel differently aboit themselves. 🙄

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  • I've noticed that the only way to tell these people off is just to spin the argument around. So in regards to your last scenario, I would have replied something along the lines of "oh, so would you ever tell an overweight person that you think all they do is eat?". Then when they look all baffled, cushion the blow by saying "I've grown some pretty thick skin over the years so I don't really care anymore, but perhaps you should think twice before commenting on someone else's appearance. You never know what they might be going through".
    I had a friend who suffered from anorexia. She was very ashamed of it and hid it for as long as she could. But she told me that whenever someone pointed out how thin she was, and threw around similar comments like "oh, I thought you didn't eat"... a part of her felt ashamed, of course. But another, more dark part of her, felt proud. I would never, ever want to feed the mindset of a person who's *actually* suffering from anorexia. People should just keep their thoughts on other people's weight and eating habits to themselves. No matter what you say, and regardless of your intentions, it's very likely that it'll do more damage than good.
    Nice take.

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  • I do think that thin shaming should be as socially taboo as fatshaming.
    Its just dishonest to make one okay and one not.

    At the same time i do think that fat shaming is no problem at all, and so is thin shaming.
    But yeah, that hypocrisy is shit

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  • Nobody deserves to be bullied or shamed. I have a friend that is naturally thin, like, really thin. Tall, slim, so is her mother and other siblings. She gets called a skeleton, skin-and-bones, twig, and so many more, people think she has an eating disorder, but that's no true. It's really unfortunate, it could be why she decided to be homeschooled after awhile.

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  • Any kind of shaming is unnecessary. But I think most people would rather be skinny than fat, so it seemed like it would be less common— but not any more wrong. I never got “skinny shamed”... it was mostly comments like oh you could be a model cause you’re tall and thin... etc

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  • Literally my life story right here. I'm pretty tall and skinny so putting those two together looks weird to some people and I've heard all the jokes/insults under the sun out there about being skinny. It's annoying as hell because I never joked about their body like that nor did I ask them to just come up to say something that's just retarded

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  • this happens to me bc i'm short and quite small (relatively thin), i don't really take that much to lunch so my friends always say i eat like a chipmunk when in fact i'm just not hungry at lunch often.

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  • I can relate. Thanks for sharing your experience. I don't like when people shame me for being very slender too. I've had moments where some people would try to get me to eat because they thought I needed to. Also people tend to think of women with my ethnicity as curvy or just bigger so when they see me I sometimes get shamed or they just sound surprised. I used to go to the gym and drink a lot of protein just to make myself look curvier.

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  • I agree. I got teased every day in school for being skinny until I was 15. I was 5'7" and 105 lbs. Then I gained muscle and got fit and those same girls went from teasing me to outright hating me. It's stupid to hate someone for being skinny or fat, just as stupid as it is to hate someone for being black or white. Who cares?

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  • omg i never experienced that kind of bullying, i'm kind of in between the 1st and 2nd doll i guess. whoever bullies people because of their body shape is stupid. probably insecure or jealous of your skinniness.

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  • I have a friend that is 5'10', 105 lbs. She gets hate about her thinness all the time. She eats a ton too. She has looked like this her whole life. Her family is also all super thin just like her. It effected her so bad that she went to a dietician to see how to gain weight. She had to track everything she ate. The dietician told her that she shouldn't increase her intake because she was already eating plenty. She is a super sweet girl who shouldn't get all the hate she gets.

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  • I totally agree with you, everyone should be accepted for their body size, thin or fat. You do you because you're special in your own way :)

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  • I would say so I am 5'4 and 100 pounds and everyone has told me to gain weight all the time and I am kinda done with it

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  • I feel you. I´m also thin but I still eat normally and sweet stuff to. Still not gaining weight. The comments from other people mean nothing. I know that I´m normal

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  • Shaming anyone for their weight or bodily features is just cruel and unnecessary across the board.

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  • Have you ever heard someone say I wanna be fatass. No... no one wishes to be fat. Thin is what’s envied.

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  • I agree with you. Double standards at there finest.
    I'm like you, I'm really skinny only I'm short - about 156cm xD

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  • Look this type of thing is so shallow. If you know you’re in good health, just brush it off.

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  • It's a bit funny to me because being a fellow tall skinny girl I get comments like that too, but I did have anorexia and those concerned people or people commenting on how I was skin and bones were actually crazily empowering for my illness because it meant I was "successful" and I was acknowledged for it. I think for a fat person it might actually work in similar ways, if they eat to cope when they feel upset and someone points our how they are overweight then they will probably end up eating even more because that would make them upset.
    Proof that body shaming really just brings us nowhere and its effect on people who are actually outside the range of what is healthy is often completely adverse.

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  • I have had people laugh at me because I am so thin :(

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  • I’m sorry you going through that if I know and was closer I’d sit with you at lunch or whatever. As for people shaming you is just jealous of you.

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  • since obesity is an epidemic most people are brainwashed to think no one can just be thin. She is awfully dumb for a 50 year old!

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  • it's worse

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  • Yep. Body shaming is wrong, no matter the size.

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  • Good take

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  • 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤦‍♂️

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  • I agree both are hurtful

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  • All shaming is problematic.

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  • true

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