Why I Got Plastic Surgery

[4theloveofdog]

I had a large, bulbous, and droopy nose. The kids in elementary school constantly made fun of me. It was so bad that I developed low self esteem issues from it. When the boy I was crushing on found out I liked him he reacted by punching my arm. As a result, I became a loner and didn’t get to have normal friendships.

I carried that with me through middle school. Except now I had big boobs so boys paid attention to me. What I told myself was that they would only be interested in my body and not my face. One day I’d feel extremely confident and the next day I’d be down in the dumps.

High school was the same except at least I had made one consistent friend, who I got to meet new people trough, and got a boyfriend sophomore year. Despite that, my self esteem issues were already so bad that I went into depression and ruined that relationship.

Early 20s I went out a lot with my friend, who was more social and therefore brought along her other friends. They were/are prettier and more confident than me so they would get approached mostly. Straight up 9-10s in my eyes so I dreaded taking selfies with them because they always looked so much better even without trying. Eventually I just had to accept it.

Fast forward to mid 20s and the cycle of comparison gets to me. I don’t have a set career, no direction, no education and my self esteem is still suffering. Nose is still ugly and too big. So I decided to just go ahead and deal with it.

Got my nose done in October of last year. Deep down this is what I’ve always wanted. For a normal nose. To finally take a selfie and not cringe. It was meant to be.

Not me

Fast forward present day... I LOVE my new nose...but I still have no direction. My social skills are still lacking. My new nose can’t get me a better job and now I have even more financial debt... But hey at least I can take a selfie and not fully cringe. I do have more confidence in my looks I suppose, and I like when I catch men making glances at me.

When I go home alone, I still look at the flaws in my face but they’re not as major. Sure, I still feel the need to use filters and face morphing apps to look better. That confession stings a little. I guess that’s the result after many years of mental conditioning I did to myself.

Would I do it again? Yes, and I wish I would have done it sooner.

[Lliam]

I see nothing at all wrong with fixing a flaw. People get braces to fix their teeth. I know a kid who got surgery to fix his ears because they stuck out. When my wife was a teen she had minor rhinoplasty to fix the appearance of the outer septum between her nostrils.

Appearance is important to self esteem. Don't believe those who say it doesn't. The fact is, bullying can have major psychic impact. How can a kid who gets laughed at over a physical flaw or mere attribute like Freddy Mercury teeth, Dumbo ears, or a prominent nasal feature not feel self conscious, especially when they see how the "popular" girls and boys are treated?

Teeth, for example, can get fixed early. But some features can't be fixed until a kid quits growing. That means a kid has to live with a stigma for years.

All of a sudden I'm reminded of the line in Young Frankenstein in which the doctor says, "You know, I'm a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I can help you with that hump."

Anyway, I salute you decision to fix something that made you uncomfortable. It will increase your self image and allow you to work on the self esteem issues that you mentioned. It won't happen over night, but it will happen. Learn how to walk with straight posture, a spring in your step, and self confidence. Make heads turn. I wish you the very, very best.

by the way, your Take was excellent. Good job.

[4theloveofdog]

Thank you.

[Lliam]

You go, girl!

[Armourdillo]

thanks for this man, people have been talking me out of leg lengthening surgery for year, s but i'm gonna go for it. Being short is a flaw no on should suffer from.

[Lliam]

@Armourdillo, are your legs out of proportion to your body?
I ask that because there is nothing wrong with girls being short. Some of the sexiest women in the world are between 4'10 and 5'3".
I lived with one woman who was as sexy and beautiful and they come. She was probably 5'2" (I'm 6'2"). But she always wore heels or at least corky wedgies. I asked her about that once and she said she thought her legs looked funny if she didn't. I was shocked because I thought her legs were adorable. There was nothing at all wrong with them.

[Armourdillo]

nothing wrong with short women, short men are an issue though. No they are proportional

[Lliam]

@Armourdillo, dude, I spaced and didn't notice your gender. derp. I apologize for the error. .
Yeah, being on the short side does limit a guy's options, doesn't it?
Best of luck to you. I hope you achieve the outcome you desire.

[Armourdillo]

They said only 3 inches max is safe, but i want the full 6 to hit 6'2. No pain no gain

[litty]

I got plastic surgery for gynocomastia. I'm happy with it, but I wish I did it sooner because then I would've been more confident with girls. Even changing in the locker room with guys felt awkward.

My mother shamed me big time for wanting to get it done as though it was all in my head and I was being superficial. If you look at it another way, why do people get braces? The end result is people are confident to show off their smile and braces cost just as much as plastic surgery so besides the anesthesia, procedure, and pre/post-op, what's the difference?

[QooLipBite]

Eeeeeexactly.

[Anonymous]

That's great. I'm glad that your surgery went well and you feel more confident and happier though.
I'm also sorry that you were bullied. As someone who has been made fun of cause of her looks, I know the feeling and it really sucks..
Having said that I have mixed feelings about this MyTake. I mean there are very poor people who can't buy their way out and have plastic surgery.. Or people with BDD, who aren't ugly but are very insecure about their looks
These people would probably feel awful and more insecure if they ever read this..

[4theloveofdog]

I understand the way it can seem awful. I specifically wrote it this way for a reason. To show that despite me getting my nose fixed I still have a lot of issues that I could have worked on along the way. Perhaps if I would have focused on those other things it wouldn’t have been so bad and led to me accepting myself more. This is just my experience and I wanted to show my complete and honest thoughts on everything. Thank you for reading.

[Opinion Owner]

@Kas19 do whatever you want with your body; I couldn't care less, but you shouldn't advocate/promote plastic surgery because you set a bad example for younger girls.

You sound really shallow. I feel sorry for you

[Opinion Owner]

@4theloveofdog I understand and agree with that.
I'm not critiquing your decision to have plastic surgery, maybe I have phrased this MyTake a bit different, but overall, it's a positive message.
Good luck :)

[Kas19]

Uh, how am I shallow? Anyway, I don't exaclty advocate plastic surgery unless someone really cannot accept a part of their body no matter what. If they want to be happy, why would I try to make them feel guilty for changing something they dislike about themselves?

My only issue is you guilt tripping her about other people.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry I still don't like plastic surgery and I admire you 0%. You shouldn't have been bullied. However I must say I know people with the before nose on that photo who are more popular than me and had never suffered like you. Why? Because they have a strong personality. So all your problems have never been due to your nose, but probably due to a very passive and weak personality. People are usually mean to weaker personalities despite their looks.

[4theloveofdog]

Yes, I am aware that I have a very passive and weak personality. Those are also unfortunate traits that one is born with and the rest of it is environmental. Which not having good role models in my life, being sexually assaulted, and having an emotional distant father contributed to my shitty mindset. It was literally easier to fix my nose than to try to be someone I am not (a non-passive person). in the times I have tried to be dominant I develop extreme anxiety and depression... so yeah.

[Guardian45]

Your strength of character is commendable, Anonymous. Except its NOT.
Once you stop hiding and have a walked a mile in the OP then you might be more credible.

[Guardian45]

Shoes***

[emmily2396]

I think plastic surgery it is fine as long as people don't go overboard. Changing 1 thing because you truly think you will look better vs. changing stuff because you have a problem and you are never perfect enough like the Kardashians and other celebs do.

[Swat_]

If you care about your appearance, there isn't anything wrong with surgery. This definitively looks like its more about a self esteem issue, and I don't think a nose adjustment will fix that.

[Next part might come over as harsh, so strap yourself in.]
People are nicer to good looking people, but that doesn't mean they care about your personality. A very extroverted friend of mine has the same kind of nose. He is socially skilled and good with girls, despite his nose. People who are social don't need the physical attractiveness to talk with people. Some of the most likeable and social people I know are ugly.

The issue isn't your nose. Don't get me wrong, it is good that you get rid of one of your issues, but realize that it isn't the source of the issue. Get involved in something, get hobbies, a fun job, volunteer, make friends, try to rebuild your life. Even if you end up not doing anything (which is normal dw), constantly thinking about it will slowly cause you to live up to your thoughts.

I've been restoring from damaging my own personality (long story) since October now, and I've made a ton of progression since. I am not a social god by any means, but it's getting there.

P. S. I actually really like your previous looks.

[curiousnorway]

It's your body and your choice, so it's up to you what you wants to do with it! It's good you're happy now. I do however think it's sad you was bullied and I don't think anyone should experience it. I don't think bullies should set the standards either or pressure people to do something to be satisfied. It's horrible when someone have to decide everything (when it comes to standards) and are mean toward people if they doesn't follow the same standards as themselves.

I've got some work myself too. I went to the dentist and got my teeth straighten with braces. I'm glad I did that and now I can smile with more confidence. Luckily I was never bullied for that and just did that because of I wanted it myself.

[anonoyay]

I think it’s great that you had surgery to fix something you did not like about yourself. There’s so many people saying you need to learn to love/accept your flaws and insecurities. But I believe if there’s something you don’t like about yourself change it. I feel for you when hearing about your childhood experiences. Growing up I was teased as well hearing other children call me ugly and even having a teacher ask me if I was a boy or girl ( I’m a girl). Comments like that and actions like that do influence your self esteem and confidence. You just have to put more work into working on those things than others but that’s okay.

[Porcelaine]

''My new nose can’t get me a better job and now I have even more financial debt... But hey at least I can take a selfie and not fully cringe'' Your priorities are in order I see. I hope you do not get addicted to plastic surgery as some people do. But you are way too obsessed with your looks. You can get all the surgeries you want and look exactly like you'd like, still that will not give you confidence and self esteem. You need to love yourself first, become confident as you are, and only then will you have a healthy image of yourself.

[SlowRoast]

We need to hangout. Developing an insecurity since childhood and letting it build your personality and the way you interact with others is much harder to get rid of than just simply saying “Love yourself.”
I will suggest finding 5 positive things you do like about yourself that aren’t based off looks (talents, skills, education) and focus on building them or just how much you like them.
Stay off social media and work somewhere with energetic kind people. From there you make friends and build your confidence in socializing. Just one day of being in a successful position boost your confidence sky high.

[Guanfei]

Don't listen to people saying that your kids will inevitably look like you. No one can know that.
And don't listen to people telling to "accept your body", most of the time, they don't know shit about what having something wrong with your body feels.

If you have the money, do it, I would if I could. If that makes you happy.

[agamo]

Wow that is a moving story. It's sad you have to feel like you need to change yourself but if you feel better from it then I suppose it's all for the best. I guess it's not about erasing yourself but putting yourself in the best light that you see for yourself. I wish you best of luck in your endeavors.

[Anonymous]

People who say it's shallow or vain have no idea what it means to be unhappy with your looks. I had nose like you did and I was bullied because of it most of my life. I can't even repeat the horrible names I was called.
When I 21 I got my nose fixed. All of sudden people who bullied me tried to be my friends.
In the end, the most horrible experience was learning how much my old nose had impact on how people looked at me.
I felt like I had nothing to offer just my big nose.
Congratulations on your new nose! You look great and happy!

[Guardian45]

Well-said!

[SirRexington]

Well I'm glad you were able to find that self esteem although I'd be hesitant to say that it will be long lasting. Right now it's a high you have very similar to wearing a new pair of shoes or a new top that no one has seen before. After awhile it loses it's pizaz and it just becomes another part of you. Your low self esteem will return and fixing it with an external solution will not correct the issue which is internal.

From one low self esteem person to another, it's what's in your head that matters. Your clothes do not, your looks do not. Emotional strength and empowerment must occur in order for your low self esteem to truly go away.

[KaliMe]

Let me put it to you this way, I loved Jennifer Grays nose before her surgery. It was that one little thing that made her sexy. The she changed it she lost a lot of fans as an actress. I'm not saying that some people who probably shouldn't get plastic surgery but unless your other features take away from it I wouldn't do it. What is popular now may not be popular later always remember that.

[lightbulb27]

I can see that, honestly I did to but I didn't think of it that way. Self esteem is a real thing.

What of the offspring whose noses dont look like moms... they will need as well.

Funny enough, I like big awkward noses, both are good:) Glad you are happy!

[Anonymous]

Fair play to you for going through with it, it can’t have been easy. It’s just a shame you didn’t work on the mental side sooner and felt like you had to focus so much on the other, but it’s never too late! Good luck! I love your nose too. Mine isn’t straight as I fractured it as a child but it’s never been severe enough to hold me back personally, but I suppose given the opportunity I’d consider changing it too.

[4theloveofdog]

Thanks. That’s not me but my nose was similar to that.

[JDavid25]

What this really tells us, is that it's a problem on the inside, and that you still need to work on yoself.. It's understandable with the bullyin that you would want a nose change.. Although, you could have gained the confidence and accepted yo looks all around.. But I know that's not an easy venture..

[InTimoreDei]

Yup. Precisely.

[CubsterShura]

I just read these posts and wonder just how much we are victims of the beauty industry and make the industry successful by giving in. Imagine just how many companies would run out of business when women and men start realizing that not everyone has the most desired features and it's okay.

[Netta2147]

I'm going to get plastic surgery on my body but start with a jaw surgery because my voice is too deep as a woman and people confuse me as a man sometimes but my braids saves me from that embarrassment. Not just that but I actually won't date anyone until they get fixed...

[Guardian45]

Good luck!

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Quite expensive. Sorry to break it to you but if you plan to have kids, your original appearance will inherit them. Your DNA can't change. Also you already did got your surgery then congratulations. Why don't you start looking at your benefits instead of your flaws? You just wasted a lot if that's the case. I'd say plastic surgery is just a head start not a permanent treatment.

[Kas19]

I think people have enough common sense to know basic biology.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Implying she don't know since she wanna change completely. She can't hide it forever.

[4theloveofdog]

But... I’m 1 of 6 girls. Guess who was the only one to inherit mothers nose?

[Aiko_E_Lara]

It maybe your mom's genes isn't that strong. But I'm not saying that it would guarantee that your offspring will inherent the one with surgery.

[Kaytiee]

I agree with you, as what you had was more of an extreme and the way you've written this shows you're a mature capable lady to make proper decisions, I'm glad you made the right step for you and you're now happier.

[Amanda269]

I support your decision. We are born with a random body and some will say you gotta suck it up and live with it, but I believe your new nose will improve your life a lot. You are beautiful and you are a success in my opinion.

[AuroraRoseat]

I am saddened that because of past trauma you hated your former nose, but it is your choice, your body, and your life. I am happy that you're self-esteem has boosted because of it.