What is your opinion on crossdressing?

[drewbaby1616]

I've been having a lot of thoughts on this over the course of my life, because crossdressing is one of the things that has consistently been on my bucket list since I was seven years old. I'm eighteen now, and, like most of my goals, it hasn't happened yet. Now, before you tell me to just do it, I have a couple of things to say. For one, my parents are completely opposed to my goal, which has been the main factor in my failure to accomplish this. Second, I am deathly afraid of exploring new things on my own. I would love for a girl to help me out, but not a lot of girls are willing to help me. I decided to take my question to G@G so I could find what other people think, and also to make a low-key plea for help. Seriously, this has been one of the most important things to me for the last eleven years, and I am not exaggerating. By the way, I'm including this under the "Fashion and Beauty" category because it best describes the situation.

[Annie_Mosity]

So to get this straight, you want to wear womens clothes but you're worried about the reactions you'll get and or how you will look?

I'm part of a group on Facebook for vintage fashion and such, it's a really nice group of like minded women but we also have a couple of guys there. One of them is utterly gorgeous when he's got a dress on and his hair done, most of us are jealous of him! But my point is this... Maybe trying out some clothes in the privacy of your own home first would be a good idea, and maybe get some feedback from a group online if you're worried aboit your style.

My own opinion of it is this: mens clothing is dull, so I don't blame guys for wanting to dress up and look pretty. If my guy wanted to I'd totally support him and make sure he chose some nice clothes! I hope you manage to find someone to explore with...

[drewbaby1616]

What is this Facebook group?

[Annie_Mosity]

It's a dress swap page for vintage and retro style clothes. One of the guys is very into the old Hollywood look (and pulls it off AMAZINGLY!) so he asked if he could join. It isn't just things for sale though, people share pics of their outfits and bargains and stuff. It isn't really for cross dressers but I bet there are groups out there...

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

What I find most weird about cross dressing is that girls can do it and no one blinks an eye (how many times every day do you see women with pants on instead of a skirt, boots instead of heels, no makeup, short hair instead of long?) Yet as soon as a guy wants to put on a dress people start treating him like he's less than human, wtf? Makes no sense to me. And in some times in history dresses and lace and heels have been as popular for men as they are for women now!! Seriously, if it'll make you happy then you should find a way to do it I say. And I bet you'll look super gorgeous when you do it ^_^

[drewbaby1616]

See, this is exactly why I find it hard to read some of the other comments. You've got your priorities right. I respect you.

[thottiana]

There are female pants, female boots, hair length doesn’t pertain to a specific gender, no makeup what the heck

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

@thottiana so no makeup doesn't apply to a specific gender, yet everyone kicks up a stink and calls a guy a freak if he wears it in the way a female would. See the double standard? You completely missed the point of my comment.

[thottiana]

Yes because that’s the way a female would wear it. Did u even read what IIIIIII said

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

@thottiana - Yet it's fine for a female to NOT wear makeup in the way a male also wouldn't wear makeup. It's almost like your argument... reeks of utter hypocrisy. Oh wait, no, there's no *almost* about it. Anyway I explained the history of women being able to wear trousers (which was considered cross dressing for a long time) in a different response to you. You'll read it or you won't. Suffice it to say a woman isn't less of a woman for not wearing a skirt (I'm sure you'll agree with me about that) so a man isn't less of a man for choosing to wear one. It's only strips of cloth and it's depressing that people take these fabric scraps seriously enough to insult and hurt another human being over them.

[thottiana]

Welp what can you do

[DinaM]

Personally, I think everyone should be free to wear what they want... but I've definitely met crossdressers whose parents did not approve. Often they went to pretty elaborate lengths to keep their parents from even finding out.

Tell you what. Why don't you visit the "crossdressers" subreddit on the Reddit site. There are a lot of people there who go through similar things; they might have some tips to give you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/crossdressing/

[Randomawkwardness]

Do it, if your parents can't except you for being you and achieving what you want, then they're obviously not very supportive. And if you like it then good because you're figuring it out earlier rather than 40 years from now when you're saying oh shoot I should've done that. And if not, at least you can cross something off your bucket list.

[truthbeknown]

I'll be brutally honest here. Crossdressing is one of the least accepted fetishes or kinks there are. Lots of ignorant people out there who jump to conclusions and think you are gay. Lots of girls also quickly jump to saying they would instantly dump their boyfriend if he ever wanted to crossdress. This is not something you do and look to friends and family or even people out in public to accept it with open arms. This is more of a private behind closed doors activity. I like to dress a bit, but it's only for the bedroom. I have no desire to dress out in public, I am not into that, so I can't help you there. But trust me when I say most people will not accept it, and if you do find a girl that likes it or helps you with it, you better marry her.

[Caaarl]

I don't think that just because people won't accept you that you should necessarily do it behind closed doors. However he should take the risks into account and do what he wishes. People are going to be mean it will affect your life in a very negative way among people who aren't accepting and it will possibly make you a target for violence so be careful.

[Tsunk]

Nah, a negative version of what I said doesn't work; stop implying that it does. Ex. "A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square." -- I merely gave an example, and then you came on here and started spewing horse shit. At this point, I couldn't give a hairy fuck what side you're on, you waltzed in here like a nimrod and made assumptions as to what I did and didn't say. I mean, when you combine experiences and facts into a single assumptions, I think it's quite justifiable. I wouldn't say that shit if I never witnessed it. Fucking hell with this keyboard warrior shit on this app lmao.

[michelle3685]

It's so much more common these days, than a lot of people realize. I've known a number of guys, all outwardly very manly, but harbored a strong desire to explore their feminine desires, to varying degrees. It's no problem, really. I hope you explore and find comfort with who you are and that those in your life that matter, will accept you in that way.

[Puppylover_129]

Personally, no, I don't like it. I prefer my man wearing pants and shorts, a kilt maybe, to a cultural robe. But I could never marry or date a man who wear makeup or dresses. Id happily be friends tho! I just can't see myself ever having a relationship with a crossdresser

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

So you're saying you've never worn pants or left the house without makeup on? Because I'm assuming you apply the same standards of dress to women. A woman isn't marriage material for a real man unless she wears a dress and heels and and stays in the kitchen all day with her makeup perfect the whole time, right? :)

I just think it's weird that we as a society apply these really ridged clothing and behavioural standards to men but as soon as a man says a woman should only ever wear a skirt and heels and should never be caught dead without makeup people claim he's a sexist pig. Societal hypocrisy much.

[drewbaby1616]

@Liloh_Rydstrom Amen to that. These comments are making me feel better about my situation. Thank you.

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better @drewbaby1616, some peole are being really rude and hypocritical because I guarantee no one commenting here cares if a girl doesn't wear a skirt but as soon as a boy puts one on they claim he's weird and say he's not boyfriend material etc (who would want to go out with someone so shallow anyway?). Total hypocrisy. And they get really upset when the hypocrisy is pointed out to them, it's quite funny :p

[NicoletteKomotov]

You may enjoy this author and get some advice and tips from their non fiction books. Don't be afraid to do it yourself. You don't need anyone to hold your hand. Do it in private until you have the confidence to go out in public and then go out with others like you by joining local groups. Enjoy princess!
www.amazon.com/Barbara-Deloto/e/B00J21HWA4/

[ChronicThinker]

It's fine to do, I wouldn't date a guy like that personally but that doesn't mean someone else wouldn't. I mean, if I had a dude friend who wanted my help I could try, but I'd be awkward as fuck about it probably.

[AG900]

Man, go for it.
I've seen girls dating trans girls. And it's not an issue.
Also the feeling of being treated like a woman is so different. You'll love it. Especially if it's your thing.
I used to be a model (a few times I modeled as a woman. Of course I looked different back then lol)
It's a cool experience regardless of your sexuality or your sexual identity.
Best option is to go to drag shows and they'll be able to give you a better advice

[BornFree]

My fiance loves dressing up like a woman, I find it sexy!!

[hahahmm]

You have a fantasy. Lots of people have fantasies that they never act on.

[drewbaby1616]

Yeah, the only problem is that I need to act on it. I'll never stop thinking about it if I don't get it over with.

[Nathaniel1316]

I think it's different for everyone honestly and you should explore it to find out what you like. I have a friend who likes crossdressing as a daily thing and wearing regular girl clothes and underwear out and shit. I think that's weird and I could never do that.
On the other hand I like lingerie and crossdressing in those sexy girl outfits and such just as foreplay for sex and my friend thinks that's weird so honestly what you want to do may not even be your thing just try it out and see.

[glitter_unicorns24]

When I found out my ex cross dressed, I was really open minded about it. I’d pick outfits for him to try on whenever he felt like it. But once he got arrested for upskirting minors, I just hate the thought of my bf’s cross dressing for some reason.

[TinaSP]

Do what makes you happy. Fullfill your goal instead of having this feeling of something missing. Just go for it. Be aware of who you are and find out what you like. Dont waste time with fear. Even God is judged so let the world behind.

[winterfox10]

Well as with most things, I woudn't do it myself, and I probably wouldn't want to be seen in public with a man wearing a woman's clothes, but I passionately support your right to do it. Perhaps you'll want to limit your cross dressing to social clubs where that sort of thing is well and encouraged. You may want to start small, try things like make up, maybe a bra (I'm sure you could find something online easily enough).

[Nicynodle2]

Well, cross dressing is a very large community, you have everything from drag (me who try to look as manly as possible whilst wearing the showiest sluttiest clothes as possible) to femboy/trap (where they genuinely try to look like women) either way, your best bet is to find a club or a website or even a subreddit and find people with experience to help you

[southrncomfrt]

Maybe I'm old school or just don't understand but I almost look at it as any other fad thing... looking for attention... if your gay then be gay but do we honestly need all these transgender rules... like I was at my daughter's college and they had a sign up for transgender pronouns and etiquette... seriously

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

When girls wear pants instead of dresses do you think they're looking for attention? Is your daughter 'looking for attention' when she doesn't wear high heels and makeup to school?

Why is it considered strange and creepy for a guy to want to wear a dress, makeup, and heels, but it's apparently totally normal for a girl to wear pants and flats with no makeup on her face? Not only that, but you'd actually be called a sexist and controlling pig if you demanded that your daughter wear high heels, makeup, and a dress every she leaves the house. Should she also stay in the kitchen all day because she's a woman and that's a woman's role?

Societal hypocrisy at its most depressing.

[thottiana]

Ur so dumbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

@thottiana - I had written something snarky regarding your spelling and the poor choice of words used to defend your argument, then I saw your age so I deleted what I'd originally typed and will say this instead:

150 years ago everyone thought women who wanted to wear pants were crazy freaks. It was considered cross dressing and a woman could even be forced into an asylum for doing it. Now it's considered totally normal because a lot women fought very hard for a long time to have the right not *have* to wear skirts. It's exactly the same thing for men with dresses now. They're literally just strips of cloth that some people *perceive* as unacceptable for a man to wear but it's literally only cultural norms causing that perception and that's *all* it is.

A woman isn't less of a woman for NOT wearing a dress, and a man isn't less of a man FOR wearing a dress. Once society as a whole a accepts that (as they've accepted that women can wear pants) then people like you will accept it too.

[thottiana]

I don’t not accept it. If ur a boy and u want to wear a skirt go ahead. I wasn’t trying to say that it was wrong, I just didn’t like how u said wearing pants was cross dressing.

[simpleman47]

This is your life. Quit living in fear. In today's world we have excepted who we are. If it makes you happy, if you feel it is who you want to be. Then do it. There are lots of women who can help. Who will help. Go into a retail store and ask the women within it to do it. It is there job. You might even make a friend out of it.

[Aquasparky]

If you want to cross dress go for it. The best place to get help is a drag queen rally. A lot of my friends hang out with drag queens and they are extreemly helpful.

[bacca400]

If you want to do this in public, go to a gay bar. It's pretty safe there. Really nice people there.

It hurts no one so I don't really have an opinion.

[drewbaby1616]

Yeah, it hurts my stomach because I'm straight. I'm basically a misandrist (I'm opposed to men).

[bacca400]

You don't have to be gay to be a cross dresser. That's a myth.

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

@bacca400 yeah it's true about that being a myth. Too bad some of the other people in the comments here didn't get the memo :p

[BigSkyCowgirl]

I have friends who crossdress; I have no issues with it

[MidnightCowboy]

I love to crossdress, love wearing heels, skirt, yoga pants, etc

[Kat17]

Honestly I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

[BeowulfTheMighty]

I don't approve of it. Whether you like it or not, you are a man if you have XY chromosomes. Instead of trying to be something you're not, learn who you are and be who you are.

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

So if a woman wears pants, jeans, or shorts (anything that isn't a skirt) or chooses not to wear high heels, she's not acting like someone with XX chromosomes? What about when Knights routinely wore skirts with their fighting gear, were they not acting like men? Oh wait, societal dress standards are just an expectation placed on us by the culture we live in and they vary massively from country to country and depending on the time one lives in. Shallow, hypocritical, and constantly changing societal expectations is literally all dress standards aremail.

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

So if a woman wears pants, jeans, or shorts (anything that isn't a skirt) or chooses not to wear high heels, she's not acting like someone with XX chromosomes? What about when Knights routinely wore skirts with their fighting gear, were they not acting like men? Oh wait, societal dress standards are just an expectation placed on us by the culture we live in and they vary massively from country to country and depending on the time one lives in. Shallow, hypocritical, and constantly changing societal expectations is literally all dress standards are. Only fools buy into them to the extent that you clearly are Beowulf, you and all the other sheeple :)

[BeowulfTheMighty]

I never said they couldn't act like they weren't, but that it's a fact that they aren't that.
And knights wore skirts of mail armor, you know - so that their enemies couldn't easily stab them in the groin.
Those skirts that stopped their enemies from repeatedly stabbing them are incredibly different than today's skirts. How about you do some damn research before you start saying stupid shit like "oh well medieval knights wore skirts, so all skirt norms are men"?

[BeowulfTheMighty]

Yes, only fools believe actual facts instead of throwing decades of science out the window, and only fools buy into the fact that the medieval skirt of mail is different than what literally anyone shy of reenactors or HEMA practitioners do.

[drewbaby1616]

@Liloh_Rydstrom Thanks so much! I love it when someone gets wrecked for being a sexist, traditionalist pig.

[Liloh_Rydstrom]

@Beowulf there have been many times in history when skirts, lace, and heels are as much the fashion for men as they are for women now, look it up.

Is a woman less of a woman if she doesn't wear a dress and high heels? Legitimate question.

[BeowulfTheMighty]

I've never seen a man in a modern woman's skirt or high-heels (outside of crossdressers).
And the answer to that is no, she is still just as much a woman if she wears Jeans and sneakers - her chromosomes dictate that.

[BeowulfTheMighty]

@drewbaby1616 Oh, please forgive me for recognizing that men and women are different, and not equal. We're not the same. To explain it; A 1 USD Bill is worth 1 dollar. If you have 4 quarters, those quarters are still just as valuable as the dollar - but the fact you can't rip a quarter in half doesn't mean it's inferior to the dollar.
And may I just say - I love how you presented no argument and had to go to name calling since you have no actual argument against my position.