What are your thoughts on choker necklaces and why?

Question

My boyfriend was saying that chokers are seen as slutty (I’m rephrasing). He says I could wear what I want but if I wore a choker, it basically meant that I disregarded what he said.

He doesn’t want others to see me in a disrespectful way and that’s why he’s concerned. He says there is a time and place to wear it.

I understand but im also seriously annoyed that I can’t wear something just because it’s looked at as something else. I’d like to wear what I wear without worrying about others but clearly that’s not how the world works

anyone else have any thoughts or relate?

maiave · Accepted Answer

Girl when your boyfriend starts being concerned w what you’re wearing that’s the time to stop and think about the relationship. How are a thing you put around your neck slutty? LMAO that boy seems a bit too much tbh.

I don’t really like them but that’s because I never wear jewellery of any kind. I hate the metal feeling of it touching your skin. If I ever see a choker without the metal clap behind it then yeah I’d probably buy it. I think it’s something that fits everyone, never seen anyone wearing it who didn’t fit in it. It looks cool, and I can imagine being attitude to your look which is always a plus

flowersFORlilies · Accepted Answer

He has no right to tell you what to wear. Your body your choice! My thoughts on choker necklaces is that it always made me feel like being choked, but looks great. If you like it go ahead! :)

redswift · Accepted Answer

Look, I know you know that you can wear whatever you want and your boyfriend has to respect your choices and I understand his point but the most important thing is: people WILL think what they WANT to think. If you're wearing a cute skirt that is in no way slutty, some people might think it is and judge you either way, and this applies to every piece of clothing you wear. So if you like it and your boyfriend respects your decision (which he should), you should wear them without caring what others will think of you.

ManFrom1982 · Accepted Answer

Yeah, it's not how the world works. Kind of like you can't just say whatever you want or do whatever you want or post whatever you want in public without other people having opinions about it.

It's almost like if there are other people around, you can't control their thoughts at all or something and you just have to adapt to that and deal with it or something. Or, you know, get bitter and resentful about it.

CherryRoseChampange · Answer

First off, I've seen plenty chokers that have been worn with elegant attire just as much as I've seen some with more revealing attire if that's what he sees as "slutty." Another thing is, people, get chokers confused with things like collars which are two totally different things. Collars are BDSM related and represent being owned by someone or a certain lifestyle you live.

Chokers are just necklaces and fashion. Either or, the woman herself shows whether or not she's a so-called slut. Her fucking jewelry doesn't. Unless it literally says slut on the necklace or something like that. I personally think these are cute. As well as the simple black chokers.

What are your thoughts on choker necklaces and why?

melanieeeB · Answer

I like them, they can look cute but also sexy, depending on how you wear it and with what
It's by the way the only necklace I wear
To you, if you want to wear one fucking do it! Don't let others tell you what to do or don't

Joshua22 · Answer

Well I can see where he's coming from as their is a rather loose group of women in modern day that wear them to indicate things (I'm not saying all women who wear them do! Hold your horses!) But none the less that group of young girls does exist, further more in the old days when they were fashionable they were used in whore houses or brothels if you will to add to the skimpy attire of the women working there however it's odd how it started being seen in a sluttish light considering the trend was once started off by a British queen in the UK once in the year 1902 I think? So yeah it's a bit odd but I don't know really I think it's up to you but this is quite the touchy question as some people will try to drive this question into the feminist Nazi zone with a woman can wear whatever she wishes! Which she can without a doubt but people still will judge because that's the sad reality of real life so people will presume things anywayyy back to the question I... I don't know still honestly just do what you thinks best..

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think it's slutty, it's your body. We love to wear what we want. We don't think like boys. Get a 2nd opinion from your father, uncle or brother. Just ask what do they think about the item for going on a date and wanted to know what men generally think. A father will be honest in a sensitive way most of the time. If he sounds harsh its so you don't end up with a wolf vampire. A brother will tell you by brining up what another girl has on similar to the what you want to wear ( but not say my sister want to wear this) with his friends around then you can hear what they say then you get another side of how fuys think. Wich is so far from you wearing a choker. An uncle might just say don't wear it around boys, they are stupid.

The boyfriend has no power to choose for you what to wear. he's not your dad. When you are not aware he can see the attention it draws to you or hear the stupid shit they say. He doesn't want to have to kick a few asses that disrespect you and I can understand that only because in the past many of my clothing choices cause my Ex's to fist fight in public on dates.😫😣 from age 19 to 28

Medication · Answer

Let me personally answer this for you, I talked to my girlfriends, and my actual girlfriends about chokers, I totally love chokers ; what I love most about chokers is that they are fashionable and they can be one of a kind neck jewelry with handcrafted diamonds cut out just for who you want to that specific choker. To be honest with you, do you like how chokers look? Maybe the fashion behind them? Well your boyfriend should respect that just as much as you most likely respect he thinks they look slutty, but on acceptable terms. Chokers are harmless in public, he should focus on the guys who see chokers sexually when they're worn in public. If they're that much of a problem he should be kicking ass left and right for you, haha. But I'm sure ; things are not that bad, and guys would definitely look at a one of a kind choker made for you because it's something they'd see as exotic, just like a foreign car. Not like a naked girl ; I'd love to see you wearing an amazing choker, especially if you could get your boyfriend to be okay with it and if you love them of course!

Trex706 · Answer

They are super sexy. There's a meme that says girls with chokers have a black belt in sucking dick. Lots of girls know this and wear them anyway which is awesome

Wear what you want. He sounds controlling tbh. I'd never tell any girlfriend what to wear unless I was trying to make her feel sexier or more confident or happy.

Not everyone sees them as slutty. Most people know who do know it as a joke. Even if "SOME" people do who cares? It's 2018. Being "slutty" isn't something to feel ashamed of anymore. sex hurts nobody and helps everybody live better lives. Slutty people make the world a better place for all of humanity. Not even joking.

Worrying about your Insecure controlling immature boyfriend worry about how you might be perceived by *some* people who think choker = slut is so ridiculous I can't even.

NOT ONLY SHOULD U NOT CARE, REMEMBER THAT OTHER PPLS OPINIONS NOT ONLY shouldn't MATTER, THEY aren't YOUR BUISNESS.

Ellie-V · Answer

I honestly don’t understand the correlation between chokers and promiscuity. People who think that way usually have weak arguments with no evidence to back themselves up. I would totally ignore what your dude says. It’s just a fucking necklace.

Benedek38 · Answer

Would you be fine with him wearing underwear in public? Or doing outrageous things? Would you still stay with him?

Be honest with yourself. You both have expectations from the other person. These are his. He gave you an ultimatum. Don't wear a choker publically, or he will be sad. If you don't care about his feeling, go on, do it.

Alternatively you can take responsibility for once in your life. Yes, chokers are slutty, and pretty much everybody agrees on this.

Maybe you just aren't mature enough for a relationship.

oeion72956 · Answer

Personally, I find chokers adorable. As someone thats into the BDSM scene, I can say that they're not the same as a collar, nor signify anything resembling the lifestyle, unless that's what you and your partner chose as your type of collar.
If you choose to wear a choker, that's your business and shouldn't let someone else try to tell you what you should or shouldn't wear just because he thinks it looks "slutty". If he's that immature that he can't see how good you look wearing it and how beautiful it makes you feel, then he's not the one for you.

LittleRedKat · Answer

If you like the way it looks then wear it. If it makes you feel beautiful then wear it and ignore what other people say. My mom spent most of her life dressing a certain way because she was afraid of being judged. My dad recently started encouraging her to wear what she wants if it makes her feel good about herself and ik it does. I have seen a change in her confidence. What you do will never be enough for society. You can never please them so be yourself and make yourself happy because in the end that's what matters.

Anonymous · Answer

I freaking love chokers on a girl. I don't like the BDSM stuff at all though. For me, they're different and it's stupid to equate the two. A lot of people that wear the same stuff do the same things. But that doesn't mean that everyone that wears it does. Just because I wear basketball shoes doesn't mean I can ball.
So just because something makes some people think of sexual stuff, doesn't mean the person is at all like that. I get to know someone before I assume they're a kinky sex freak. And anyone worth knowing in your life would do the same and not worry about what other idiots might think.

Anonymous · Answer

I loveee wearing them! And people compliment me on them too. If you love using them, wear it. Dont let nobody tell you what or what not to wear. Not even your man. Trust me it ain't worth it, you’ll slowly lose small piece of you if you keep listening to what other people say. Dont let what people think bother you. As long as you're not hurting anybody, DO YOU.

This is my advice. My boyfriend once tried to control a simple thing i did, i made him realize its not his place to tell me that. He would have the right if i was cheating/flirting w other guys. It didn't even involve no guy. So no.
I let him do his thing, he better let me do mine.

Arabian911 · Answer

It’s in our imagination that a woman wearing a choker is sexually attractive...

Men in general like it, but they get mad if their partner wore them, it’s more like a big red light that tells everyone I’m sexy as hell.

Personally i find them gorgeous, and any girl wearing them would definitely attract my attention.

Anonymous · Answer

I’ve honestly never seen chokers as slutty and I went through a phase when I wore them a lot. Tbh I can’t really how guys would see it that way but if they do, they do. I don’t wear chokers as much, only to complete an outfit and moretime it’s probably made an outfit more sophisticated if anything

ScaryCool · Answer

It may not be seen as slutty by everyone which is true, but for me, it if you were to start wearing one now, I'd say that you weren't a very original person. Just like girls getting the little nose ring on the side of their nose and washed out dyed hair. I'm not against dying hair, piercings, etc but when everyone is trying to look THE EXACT same is when I have an issue.

TonyHman · Answer

I see where you're boyfriend is coming from but I honestly think they are very attractive and enhance the overall beauty of the girl wearing them... which is maybe why he doesn't want you to where them to get other guys attention, however I don't see anything slutty in them.

theharlequin · Answer

I love chokers.

He's correct in that they're seen as a sign of being a slut, but the only way to change social perception of something is to do it in a way that's inconsistent with that perception. So the more non-slutty girls who are willing to defy what 'society' says and wear chokers anyway, the faster chokers will lose their association with being a slut.

shashwat95 · Answer

I'm totally with the fact that you can wear whatever you want but to be fair your guy is giving you a public opinion if you want to blame someone for you not being able to wear a choker I suggest you choke some bitches that give it a bad name and not your boy

CheckPlease · Answer

I see them as classy not slutty. Many of my female freinds wear them. I'm talking about the classy ones not the dog collars.

Zoeyyyyy · Answer

I personally love chokers, but I really get why he thinks it’s “slutty”. I only wear chokers when I wear something classy/formal. But it really depends on the person, some people can pull chokers off, and some people don’t.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Chokers in my opinion are attractive, cause they make you look thin and self disciplined, and conservative and well embodied since it wraps around your neck so tightly. I think he is either thinking of BDSM or worried other guys will hit on you if you wear a choker due to its ability to make somebody look significantly better if done properly.

That1tallguy · Answer

I dont get why guys think it's hit it looks stupid to me. It's a thread that keeps falling in n out of style

Tammy94 · Answer

I like them. They can be slutty or tasteful depending on their style and what they're paired with. It's nice if your boyfriend is concerned about you and protective of you, but there's a fine line between that and pressuring you or dictating to you what you must and must not wear.

iamconfusion111 · Answer

They're not slutty wtf, he needs to let you wear what you want to wear. It's a goddamn necklace, not a low cut top or anything. I think chokers are so adorable, I don't know how someone could see it as "slutty". Yes, someone could think its hot, it comes to opinion but he shouldn't be worked up over a necklace.

Astoriana · Answer

I don't like them, personally. I think they make people's necks look fat even when they aren't.

Now, I personally think that your boyfriend is being a twat. You should be able to wear what you like. I don't think that fashion chokers are seen as slutty. Maybe the dog collar type that those weird BDSM lifers wear, but a normal one, no.

corkr900 · Answer

It is not in your boyfriend's place to tell you what to wear. If he doesn't like them, fine, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't wear them.
It is concerning that he's trying to play it as a slutty thing because it isn't. That is a guilt tactic, plain amd simple.
TL;DR: wear what you want. That doesn't mean ignore what he says, but if you like the choker then wear the dang choker.

devilish-cutie · Answer

he's overreacting and its annoying for him controling what you wear its not like you flash your tits or something tell him something what he should not wear or wear differently and see his reaction

daisy122 · Answer

I’ve never heard of chokers being called slutty. I find it funny even. Considering so many young innocent girls wear them in schools now. It’s a trend women of almost all ages are enjoying. If you want to wear it do what you want. I understand your concern but i’ve honestly never heard someone have that opinion on them before.

Joe_R0yAle · Answer

I thought the samething when my girlfriend wote one, maybe it's just me.

TheSoundOfSilas · Answer

Chokers are a doozy. In order to look anything more than mediocre, they require lots of coordination around an outfit. They can't just go with everything.
With sweatpants and that jazz, chokers just look weird, but I'll be damned if they don't complete a steampunk outfit.

Geminihunk · Answer

The chocker necklace has a symbolic meaning. Unread about this sometime ago...

At the end of 19 century a prostitutes was wearing a black ribbon around their necks. During this era, a ribbon around the neck could mean a woman was a prostitute or meaning available for sex. Choker necklaces are in fashion nowadays, it is worn around the neck, touching the skin rather than longer necklace which dangle.

lonertotheend101 · Answer

Possibly people have opinions but u can't please every one. U can relate too if there is something u have noticed that stands out on others as something that instantly forms your opinion about them like a back pack r they homeless tweeter bums Or students maybe all that I don't know but I like it and if u want to be my slit I let u I'm down with that shit for sure

Sarcastro · Answer

I've heard choker necklaces called "the black-belt of sucking dick". So, as a fashion statement, THAT is the statement you're making.

Dark93 · Answer

I love how chokers look on women.  Your boyfriend is probably referring to the incorrect assumption that girls who wear chokers are sluts and freaks in the bedroom.

menina · Answer

I can't relate, since I'm single. I don't like choker necklaces, I don't like to have anything on my neck, it makes me uncomfortable. So I would never wear one.

sixfootsix65 · Answer

Cholera are not for me at all I do not find them sexy or attractive and there is just nothing about them I like or care for. If someone wears one that's is cool I would never say anything negative about them wearing choker its their preference

daniel2k19 · Answer

You can't control others thoughts. It's messed up but true. You can wear it but I don't see the point. Because it just seems so constricting and claustrophobic. Plus like what if you get into a car wreck. Something catches you're choker. Depending on the type of material and how tight it is, could choke you to death. Also the name of it. Choker. Sounds kind of kinky. So yea, go with what you're boyfriend says.

Temporal_Ice · Answer

I honestly think chokers are kindof cute, though I have no idea where that thought came from.

mj97l · Answer

I love chokers and I have a large collection of them. Yeah, they're usually seen in a sexual way, but I still wear them.

EpicDweeb · Answer

I've never seen chokers in that light. I've mostly seen them as a common accessory in a semi-goth culture. So.. yeah I dunno =/

Anonymous · Answer

Chokers were acctually used by royalty a lot so per definition it isn't slutty. I really wish they would suit me I think they're such statement pieces. And cares what men find slutty, most men look like shit but girls are too well-behaved to complaint. And they will always say we're either too prude or too slutty so f*** that. Its just gender power order who has to define things.

Aaron0331 · Answer

Chokers are fine. There is nothing slutty about it. It be that your boyfriend has some insecurities about your relationship or it could be early signs that he is controlling. The "how others see you" argument is a cop out, it shouldn't matter to him how others see you unless he is worried that other men will look at you which could mean he is the jealous type.

Bluedream13 · Answer

They look fking hot but yes, very slutty. Think of him as a good father, he doesn't want you to he disrespected so he"s lookin out for ya

Anonymous · Answer

Chockers are really hot and triggers a gothic and/or a BDSM fetish. If you're attracted to assertive confident men then let him take control in this matter. It is healthy masculinity for him to assert himself in this area, just like you would call him out for not working and becoming a couch potato. Relationships are a two-way street. If you want a creepy feminist beta male type who is ok with other men cuckolding you with their gaze, you might be with the wrong dude.

DoctorWize · Answer

I am taking my choker necklace off right now. It's been on me all day and it's just choking me worse. lol I have to breathe.

JustAnotherSoul · Answer

Yeah, my boyfriend has the same mindset... He say "it's cal CHOKEer for a reason, you know?" but he doesn't tell me not to wear it

mikeygolfs · Answer

I love them! I don't exactly know why, they are cute and beautiful and the same time. It makes a woman look like she knows what she is doing. Hot hot hot hot hot. Cannot say it enough.

Shuba100000 · Answer

Just be more affectionate to him while y'all are in public if it's together when you wear it, if it's off by yourself & someone hits on you or something then give them his phone number

xSpencerx · Answer

I use to have a friend who would were them every day and me and other friends would joke with her about them but never mean it. Honestly it all depends on how you look at the because at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is your own.

basketcase · Answer

I like them, I think their hot af. Although I'm not the pig-kind of man who likes to slut shame women for dressing in a certain way or for any other reason for that matter.

Your boyfriend sounds like a very judgmental person though with a hint control issues.

I'd say wear whatever the fck you want and if he's got a problem then maybe he IS a problem.

Alex009 · Answer

I don't care what you wear, I don't care if your black or white, I don't care how old are u age it's just a number, I don't care if you have tatto on your face. .. If someone has a problem about it its their problem, u dont like it? Then don't fucking look at it, It's my body, my life, fuck off. Don't do something only coz someone is telling you to do it, don't listen to enybody, listen to your heart, be you, be real.

MlleCake · Answer

I don't care for how chokers feels, so I don't wear them. They do not mean that someone is slutty. Your boyfriend is trying to insinuate that clothes/jewelry indicate a willingness to have sex. This is errant thinking.

WildNekoWolf · Answer

Wear what you want. Choker or no choker, he should accept your choice. It's fashion, not slutty. And according to his logic, two of my friends are slutty (they really aren't).

Sixgun77 · Answer

I think they're sexy as hell. I'm often told that slutty IS sexy, so my opinion may not be helpful.

Travis_Skyles · Answer

I agree eith your boyfriend. Chokers give of a whoreish vibe.

SelfIsolated17 · Answer

Depending on what kind of choker a woman is wearing I'd say they can be cute or sexy-sometimes even classy.

daynamariex · Answer

Chokers are seen as 'sexy' like fishnet stockings. Whether or not it's seen as slutty depends on what you wear with it. My nieces (under 10) wear them, looks cute on them!

IndieGirlJess · Answer

Is this what you mean by choker?

DanielOfTheNorth · Answer

I really like girls wearing chokers.  Obviously it has to match her outfit or else it looks out of place, but there is nothing wrong with em. I find girls wearing them cute

ChrispyBoi · Answer

Chokers are sexy. It's just a thing with "guys" that if she wears a choker she loves anal or is a slut. It's basically a meme but not all guys are lame like your boyfriend

What are your thoughts on choker necklaces and why?

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What do you think about choker necklaces?

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