Girls, Would you let your fat daughter wear a bikini?

[Anonymous]

Okay, so this relates to my younger sister who is 14 rn. My mother recently told her she was not allowed to wear a bikini, which naturally did not go over well since I was allowed to wear one at that age. Basically, my mother told her that she "did not have the body" for one and that if she wanted to wear one she needed to "go to the gym and fix her body". I really think this is wrong, since it should not matter but what do you gals think?

[btbc92]

First of all I don't think a child should be wearing anything that actually sexually exploit her to the eyes of people, that makes me want to lust and basically masturbate themselves to death in their mine. Now unless you don't mind that because you want the attention, then that's your business. But your mother is no mother at all. That is bad parenting and she's wrong. Besides abuse and neglect. First of all neither you nor her should have been wearing bikinis at those ages. That is morally wrong. When she's in a double room by saying how she's too fat for one and talked about how she has to be a certain body types of being one. If that's not mental and psychological abuse then I don't know what the hell is. She's going to need to get some serious help for mental. Because that's not parenting.

The only thing I do agree about is that she shouldn't be wearing it. Not because you so cold fat. But because she was way too young. And she's not old enough to be making those adults. When she is out of the house, or at least 18 or 21 then that is a different story. And she has to make her own adult choices and whatever consequences she faces, will be left on her to face. It will no longer be left on her mom. Other than that, you're going to have to really look deep within yourself and ask yourself why in the world do you people find this kind of stuff acceptable.

She is way too young. And if my late mother was alive and found out I was wearing something like that like she said she would have had my butt tore up. And I don't blame her. She can still wear one-pieces and respect her body. Most importantly she needs to learn to respect her body and learn to love her body. Exposing her body like that is no way to love somebody. That's a fact. But her mother shaming her is not helping either. Since you are the one that has been made an example of your mother's hypocrisy, you're going to have to be the one to step up and speak to your mother and let her know where she is wrong. Because if she's not allowed to wear bikini what she shouldn't be wearing in the first place, neither was you supposed to be wearing a bikini. How is she being a mother? That's what you need to do. You need to show her that she is not being right. It doesn't mean you go disrespecting her. It doesn't mean you try to put her in a place by being disrespectful. But you're going to have to put her in her place and some point and step up and say something. Because now your sister is going to grow up to be where she is going to have mental health issues because of that abuse. Tackle the abuse first.

[btbc92]

That makes men want to lust*

Tired of these damn typos.

[Asker]

Ok grandma

[btbc92]

I ain't nobody's grandmother. But when you don't receive much respect from Men on that level don't complain. If God forbid something happens to her don't complain. When she has problems with guys don't complain. Can't expect to get respect you don't respect yourself. Not to be teaching her to be in whoredoms.

[Asker]

You have issues.

[btbc92]

No, Im telling the truth. If you don't like the truth then that's on you. But at least I'm not telling you a lie. You can live your life I would have where you want. But she is a child, she is a minor, and she should be taught the way that she should go. You do whatever it is that you want to do. But don't be trying to conform your sister into your ways. Before she blames you for putting her up to it. Let her wear a one piece and that's that. She gets a little older than she decides what it is that she wants to do. Not promoting bad influences.

[btbc92]

Covering yourself up is not me you don't love your body. Because you can cover yourself up and still not love your body. I covered myself up and I still cover my stuff up as a little because it's not only respect for myself but it respect for the people and it definitely respect the eyes of men. Men are simply a visually sensitive. She is at the age now where if she's not already taken interest in guys, they would definitely be God cuz I don't want to make fun of her or try to mess around with her. When it's bad enough he's already going to come. He's only wanted to wear it because he wants to try to fit in and be like everybody else. But she has to learn to love herself for herself. And it has nothing to do with her wearing a bikini because if you don't already love herself then wearing a bikini is not going to help her. She is not you and you are not her. So at that point you need to have a little bit more respect for her niece has been trying to force the idea of her wearing a bikini is because you already did it yourself. It has nothing to do about me having issues. I have issues with people trying to teach your children or siblings wrong and to do the wrong thing. She is still 14 years old and still barely a child. Let us remember that she is still a child, and already you are agreeing to her being sexualized.

[Darcia]

Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. The same exact words she said to me when I was younger but not regarding to a bikini. But I don’t agree with preteens wearing bikinis so instead I would suggest to your mom to allow the both sisters to wear a one piece bathing suit. Why would children want to wear something like that at that age anyhow? Your mom shouldn’t have said that to your sister as she could have low self esteem issues with her weight, insecurities, feeling like she is never good enough, that the only beautiful is being skinny. Your mom should embrace your sister weight and accept her for the way she looks. That’s something that cuts deep and will follow your sister forever.


As far as to answer you question: yes, I would allow my beautiful large daughter wear a bathing suit. You have to start early in improving body positivity.

[Asker]

Well the cat is out of the bag since I wore one so...

[Darcia]

Did your sister get to wear hers, tho?

[Asker]

Yes, she ended up wearing it after some arguing and some tears, my mom was not happy about it and made some not nice comments, but she let it happen. She was only going to her friends house, they have a hot tub, and it was all girls there. I guess it went okay, she does look pretty big in it though.

[Darcia]

And that’s okay, if she does as long as she is happy and you accept her the way she looks. She will not need your mom criticisms. Gotta start early on body positivity.

[Asker]

Very true. I was not thin at that age, just slightly chubby, and I was very self conscious. She is probably about 75lbs heavier than I was so I imagine she feels self conscious already.

[Anonymous]

I think he’s she can wear one, as long as it fits and covers what it needs to.
You see so many girls size 20 wearing size 14 and they would just look so
Much better if it was the right size. If your sister has the confidence she should wear it 🙂

[Opinion Owner]

And to answer the main question, yes I would but if I thought one didn’t suit her shape I would suggest a more flattering one

[Asker]

I mean, I think she was fine that way it fit her size wise. Her belly hangs but that really is not a size issue.

[roseloyaa]

Your mom shouldn't had done that bc that will probably just make your sister insecure and she's just sending the wrong message. Like she should've just try to help her find a bikini that fits and looks good.

[Anonymous]

I agree with your mom; your sister will more than likely be made fun of in a bikini if she isn't fit. People can be so cruel at that age.