Would you dump your girlfriend for a more attractive girl that is more your type?

Would you dump your girlfriend for a more attractive girl that is more your type?

Before you say yes or no to try and please others just go anon and give me a totally honest answer please.
  • No that's messed up
    Vote A
  • Yes why not
    Vote B
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Ill give a little more info.. so there's this guy that iv had a crush on for awhile and when he was single I was in a relationship. Now I'm single and he's in a relationship :( anyway I knoe he's more attracted to me than her because he told my ex when we were still together. We have a lot in common also.

I'm not trying to be a homewrecking whore and am not trying to even hit on him or anything I'm jist curious as to if he knew I was interested what the chances of him leaving her are.

Yes. I Know I'm a horrible person :(
Thank you all very much for your opinions :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • if you're asking about looks, then no. No one in his sane mind and who has learnt a bit about relationship would dump his her girlfriend/boyfriend for someone more attractive. However I think you meant "attracted to" rather than finding attractive. To me this is another story, I can find tons of guys attractive but I won't be attracted to them and it's the same for guys even if they're more visual than us. Because being attracted to someone implies more than looks. It's the way you talk, the way you act, the way you walk and all those things that just makes you you. I consider it to be the first step to falling in love, since the second builds more over time. Now from your situation, I guess your question is more "would you dump you girlfriend for a girl you're more attracted to? " or in other words for a girl you have a huge crush on.

    Now this scenario happens often. And to be honest, most people won't leave their relationship even if they fell in love with someone else. I've been in this situation once, in your situation. And there isn't much thing you can do except let him make him choice, it's always better if he breaks up with his girlfriend for reasons that don't imply you than him breaking up with her because of you. To me this implied not letting him know I was "in love" with him because I didn't want to have to face him and have the "ditch her and chose me" kind of talk. This just taught me than sometimes even all the attraction in the world isn't enough and can't make up for "timing" The timing was wrong and when people are in a relationship they have more than one reason to not leave their gf/bf, security being the most important one. They already have a devoted, loving girlfriend or boyfriend. They are already in a loving relationship so they don't want to take the risk to ditch it and then "try" it out with you.

    So yeah, sorry for rambling so much but this experience totally showed me that nowadays people value more their own security within the relationship than , I'm sorry to say, love. They'd rather stay with someone they already have something with than take the risk to thro everything out and build nother relationship with someone else, a relationship that might NOT work. It really gave some feedback to the idea that people were in relationship more out of security, not being alone and such than for their real feelings. It also taught me that it's no use wasting time and hopes on guys who are taken no matter how attracted to you they are because it's always a dead on situation.

    This being said I still think that this quote sort of makes a point: "if you're in love with two people, pick the second one. If you really loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second." but people seldom do so

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What Guys Said 30

  • Being a homewrecking whore would be fooling around with him now.

    He's not married. If you want to be with him, you can tell him, directly 'if you broke up with her and asked me out, I'd say yes in a heartbeat'. You're allowed to let him know what his options are.

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    • If I could give more than one best answeres id choose this :) if id seen this sooner I probably would've chose this

  • Well my initial thought was "well that's just a win win"... more attractive and more suited to me anyway... but then if I was really enjoying my girlfriend of the time and really loved her or whatever then no I wouldn't because well maybe someone more my type isn't really more my type, or is too much my type (opposites attract).

    So I would only dump her if I wasn't that happy with her anyway.

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  • Here's how I see it. I wouldn't be with a girl who's not "my type" in the first place. Might I be tempted by someone even "more" my type? Probably. But I have high standards in the first place and I wouldn't be with a girl who I wasn't already very happy with. Once I'm with the right person, I don't think I would succumb to the "grass is greener" line of thinking.

    That's the way I think, anyway...other guys might be different.

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  • think of it like this. if he dumps his girlfriend to go out with you, he's going to do the same thing to you when the next best girl comes along. you don't want that do you?

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  • As long as he does it in a mature way. That's why people date and get in relationships, to see who you're more compatible with. If he's more attracted to you and you both get along better the obvious choice would be for him to end things with his current relationship and start one with you. Just make sure it isn't just about the looks. Lust is easily and often confused for love.

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  • I wouldn't, I'm to dedicated to the one I love(d) first.. Loyalty first, all the bullsh*t second ;-)

    If he would dump that girl for one and an other girl more to his liking, it will be an endless trail of desperation to me... No true love at al.

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    • Well your girls lucky :)

    • Haha, I haven't got a girlfriend ;-) but thank you anyway

  • I would advise against getting in between two other people (unless you're invited for a threesome giggety).

    Your situation aside, what would I have done in the same position?

    I'm leaning towards a no but I wouldn't throw out the possibility if there was darn a good reason for me to stop being with my old girlfriend. But in the end, I highly value companionship and loyalty. Being in a relationship is a team-effort so I just wouldn't feel good about leaving someone for my own selfish reasons.

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  • You're not a horrible person. In fact I would say you have the same problem as me... you care too much about hurting other people's feelings to ever get what you really want. For once just think of yourself, flirt with him and then it's up to him. If he does leave her for you then yes, she'll be upset, but she'll get over him eventually. Just don't make him cheat on her, that wouldn't be pretty for anyone.

    Good luck! :)

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    • Having read everyone else's answers, I'd like to add something to my answer.

      Flirting with him and trying to win him over might not work at all, but you've not really got anything to loose (unless his current girlfriend is a friend of yours). However, the fact that he already said in the past that he likes you more than her is a good sign. BUT people have made a good point, that now he knows what it's like to be with her, and he doesn't know what it would be like to go out with you, he might just...

    • ...go for the safe option and stick with the girl he's with. It depends a lot on how long he's been with her, how comfortable they are together, and most importantly, how happy he is with her!

      On a side note, after about 1 year of being with my ex, I wouldn't have noticed if a super hot & really nice girl who was into exactly the same things as me was massively flirting with me. I was besotted. But, when I was 14, I did leave my first girlfriend for someone I got on better with. It happens sometimes.

  • It depends, how long have I've been with my current girlfriend? and how do I feel about her?

    but if it hasn't been that long and I'm not in love with her, then yeah I would dump her for a girl that's more my type, whether she's hotter or not

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    • Thanks for your honesty :)

  • The girl needs to be interesting.I first aim for looks,but then they need to be interesting.I use to be all about looks,but two exes later looks just ain't enough,so if a girl is really interesting,but is only like a 6/10 in looks for me I will keep her over a girl who is a 10/10,but is boring as hell...ahh.

    Peace!

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What Girls Said 10

  • If depends how much he likes his girlfriend. So, usually if you're in a relationship, you don't even notice if someone better is out there. Yeah, you might find someone attractive, but that's not what makes a relationship. What I'm saying is, someone could be blinded by love and not even notice a better option right in front of their face. But with your situtation, I would just wait and see what he does. But if he leaves his girlfriend for you, what's stopping him from leaving you for a "better" option?

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    • Good point :)

    • Show All
    • Your beautiful!

    • Aw thanks. <3

  • No, That's messed up.

    If I leave someone it's because we re not happy together or the relationship isn't working, not because I got a better offer...

    People aren't cars, I don't "upgrade" just because I see what looks like a newer shinier model.

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  • Appearence fades. The only reason I feel its legit for them to break up is that he's unhappy with the girl he's dating. I know exactly how you feel though and that guy has been with that girl for six years. There's a guy out there for you and if he is the one then someday hell figure that out, but that doesn't mean you need to wait for him.

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  • maybe they wouldn't dump you but most of them would try to hook up with her...

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  • depends a lot on who I'm with but for looks I won't for personality maybe. if I don't like the guy who I'm with ill leave him and get with the other guy.

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  • More attractive and more your type are two different things, or at least they can be depending on what you mean.

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    • Well what I meant was more his type by we click well, have a lot in common and his girlfriend isn't really anything like him to be honest I'm suprised she got with him she's more average preppy school girl and the both of us are rocker druggies and enjoy a lot of off things. I think he got with her to escape from his ex because she was a bit loony. She's sweet and all but kind of dull and plain.

  • I must say I am happy to see the guys' answers on here, how they value their relationship first and will judge the new girl based on how they are in their relationship.

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    • @ update: Maybe when he's single again (if he and his girlfriend ever break up not by your doing) you can get together with him, just give it a little more time.

  • If the relationship was working and I was happy then why move on. The grass isn't always greener.

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  • i voted B because when you say "more your type" I think personality, not just looks. if you find someone who your personality just fits better with then it would be unfair to your current significant other to stay with them. and unfair to yourself too.

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  • Look at it this way, you're never going to be the most attractive girl in the room. There is always going to be someone hotter, someone nicer, someone more outgoing, more caring, more polite, more everything. But you're you. Your guy is with you for you. If he's going to dump you for someone else then all it means is that even if you were the best in everything he would still dump you for someone else because you're not his 100% and vice versa

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    • Good point lol, I've just always kind of wondered this :)

    • Very True.

    • I know what you mean. I'm wondered too

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