What do girls REALLY prefer? Looks or personality...

Question

I don't mean choose either one. But I'm confused...most girls seem to like a muscular guy because 'it makes her feel safe', yet many of you say 'beauty is only skin deep'...I just wanna know, do the majority of girls actually prefer a skinny guy with a nice personality?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Depends on their age. Young, stupid, and immature girls go after looks. That was severely evident when I was in high school; all the football jocks had nearly every girl in the school dreaming about them. Sad thing is, those football jocks didn't give a sh*t about them, while "average" guys like me with deep respect for women were passed off.

However, with age, comes maturity, and WOMEN go after personality. I have noticed that I am like an item with older women; ironically, because 20 something year-olds have never given me the time of day (despite that I hear a lot of them talking about how they wished they had a knight in shining armor or a guy like Edward from Twilight).

My girlfriend now is amazing, I love her so deeply. She is in her mid 20s, and unlike the rest, she is very mature, and loves my personality. Her co-workers, sisters, neighbors, (all in their 30s+ ) have crushes on me, and are jealous of her because of the way I treat her.

This is not to say that guys aren't guilty of the same things either; I just happened to have matured very early and realized that the "pretty girls" were always stuck-up b*tches and thus, I find a girls' personality WAY more attractive than her looks.

Nightsinger · Accepted Answer

In a way, there both one and the same.

Your personality is portrayed in how you carry yourself, how you behave and the aura that you give out. It isn't really about what you look like superfically, on a deeper level, if you have a nice personality, girls will pick up on it, if you are confident enough in yourself to send out the right signals. Your appearance, is ultimately decided by you, it isn't about whether your skinny or muscular, Its about how you express yourself with what you got, that's what girls are picking up on, on either a conscious or sub conscious level.

timberlake · Accepted Answer

nobody can be with somebody they're not attracted to even just a little bit. personality makes somebody more attractive anyway. all I have to do is love your smile or your eyes or your style or your hair and you're attractive to me as long as your personality and the way you treat me is amazing. your swag is also a key element to catching my eye. I tend to lean more towards shy guys so their lack of confidence and all that is a little annoying, but I find it endearing as well, haha. if you have a great sense of humor and a great deal of respect for me, then I'm down. just make your move.

i've seen some girls suffer in horrible relationship just because the guy was hot, but that sh*t is not worth a pretty face.

i think guys are more shallow than girls tho. guys will pass up on a wonderful woman with a great personality because she's not cute. you know the stereotype where someone asks "is she hot?'' and the person goes "she has a great personality'' and the reaction of men is 'she's a dog! muahahahaha'

yeah.

Demonology_Heartache · Accepted Answer

Im going to be honest because it seems to me people are putting personality because they feel that's what they should put.

I think you need to be attracted to the person for anything to happen, I mean, if you walked past someone in the street you wouldn't stop and talk to them because of their personality because you haven't a clue about it so to some degree everyone notices looks first, but you can't have any relationship without a decent personality, so really; its both.

I think personality is what keeps people hanging around, the looks just encourages people to first start talking :)

(and just so you know I don't mean you have to be like Johnny Depp or w.e for someone to start talking to you; everyone has their own taste in men so someones bound to find you attractive xD)

Hope this helped :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

We prefer you, you big stud ;)

yasmine · Answer

Okay. to tell you the honest truth, if all girls just thought personality is all that matters,  we wouldn't be seeing all these really nice guys that are meh alright looking alone, and all these good-looking jerks getting every girl he wants. Most girls just don't want to be a bitch and admit it, but allot of us want a good-looking guy, just like guys want a good-looking girl, but the thing that girls get wrong is when they ONLY look for someone that they can show off too their friends and all that. because soon enough they are gonna get old and ugly like the rest of us, personality is what will keep people interested, so focus on your personality first off, but don't forget that you should still keep people "sexually attracted" to you, because that's also what keeps the relationship going

timberlake · Answer

i know that I'm being a thousand percent honest because I've had friends go... 'is that him?' and I'm like 'yeah.' and then they do the :/ face because they don't think he's all that cute.

which is fine by me. men are already just sexy anyway. the way they smell, stand, walk, talk, and even drive are attractive to me. they give the best hugs and when I make a guy laugh, I feel this weird pride almost, haha. I really do dig the personality over the face. make me laugh, feel cared for and respected, and make me feel sexy by little affectionate gestures (i'm not that big on PDA). but you get my drift.

besides, really hot guys have this cockiness to them. this air of arrogance and whether it's on purpose or subconscious, it's not attractive. you can be confident, but remain humble.

littlelewallie · Answer

Let's just put it this way: either one can make or break the whole deal.

If I'm out at a club or something, obviously the only factors that can initiate interaction are really limited to physical observation. So, in that situation, I would choose who I approach based on looks. But if you're an ass or something, I'm done.

If I'm at a smaller gathering or meeting a friend's set-up or something, I'm immediately going to pay attention to personality. Social abilities, conversation topics, and mannerisms (at least to me) are my focus. Then, over time, I'll start to take in the rest and analyze. The better the personality, the better I think it completes your attractiveness on the outside, too.

I will pull the shallow card, however, and say that I do have my limits and standards. We can't help it. Biology hard-wires us to be sexually aroused or emotionally interested in certain people.

A-Soldiers-Wife07 · Answer

Beauty is only skin deep. But I'll be the first to admit I can't be with someone I'm not physically attracted to, but I couldn't be with someone who was the most good looking man on earth but was an asshole...know what I mean? No one else in the world has to think my husband is good looking, but as long as I do. I think certain aspects of someone's personality can also make them seem better looking. But if I don't think a guys is good looking TO ME, then I might not really think about dating him. But I'm not shallow enough to be like "I could NEVER date you". If that makes sense :D

the-love-guru · Answer

You have to be physically attracted to someone before dating. But beauty is also in the eye of the beholder. What I view attractive is very broad. I like cowboys, preps, average joe's, "teddy bears" as I call them (semi chubby and barrel chested) and guys that ride big bikes (not neccessarily "bikers" though.) others may see those as gross. But after the initial attraction, the looks fade. Ask people who have been married for a few decades, and they'll be the first to tell you that looks fade with time. I'd much rather date a guy that can make me laugh and make me feel good (and who is "average" looking) than to date a model wannabe or muscle freak.

So in the end, it's personality... that lasts a lifetime.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh plz, I REALLY don't think that everyone is being honest about this question. Looks and sexiness are important to each individual person because its called ATTRACTION..thats how we are immediately drawn to each other! I've never ever ever ever ever, met a girl who says, oh look at that guys whos not good looking over there, I want to try and talk to him...as I said, looks are the thing that DRAWS a person in from the get go, and it has nothing to do with shallowness and immaturity, it has to do with HUMAN NATURE, and there is nothing wrong with it!

ashley90 · Answer

Alright, I'll admit, looks are the first thing I notice, as with almost anyone. But personality is what keeps me. However, as shady as this sounds, I couldn't be with anyone I wasn't attracted to physically. I wish I could, trust me. There are a few guys who are so sweet and amazing personality wise, but I just can't make myself like because they don't have the looks. So I think both are important to me. Because in my opinion, a relationship cannot thrive without both an emotional love and a physical desire.

kamariaa · Answer

To me someone's personality makes up much of their beauty. I can't be attracted to someone who's personality I don't like. There's a lot of people I've met that I didn't think were that good looking, but once I talked to them and liked their personality then they actually got more physically attractive to. So..yah

seannabear23 · Answer

to me I don't care about looks as much as most girls. its all about personality. if a guy can make me laugh and is up for a good time I am down. I don't like people that are so into their body, that might mean that they are not going to pay any attention to me.

LaurenNC84 · Answer

Looks are what initially attracts you to someone for the most part (no not always depending how you meet, since I know someone will want to disagree with me).  Then, if the personality fits and works right you're good to go.  I don't ever say beauty is only skin deep...it's either you're attracted to that person or not.  As far as being muscular, my personal answer is that the guy doesn't have to be muscular but I like a bigger body frame on a guy.  Broad shoulders and taller than me, not obese but not skinny.  Most girls just want a guy who is bigger than themselves because that's when we feel safe..and for the fact you look like a proportioned couple.  Everyone is different though, little guys like big girls and big guys like little girls..vice versa!

LadyLuck · Answer

I know I'm in an older age bracket, but I"ve always been like this: for sure what a person notices first is appearance, but it's a rare guy or girl that is *everyone's* type. I don't like Brad Pitt, for example. But I have always found that a person's personality can make them seem more or less attractive. So a guy I might have initially found good-looking, if he's a jerk, seems less physcially attractive to me. And vice versa, if I guy is really great, he becomes more attractive.

And guys who say that "nice guys" don't get girls are not usually talking about nice guys, in my experience. They talking about manipulative, passive-aggressive guys with a martyr complex who often don't even seem to like women, let alone respect them. Genuinely *kind* and *thoughtul* guys DO get the girls.

cheerangelcharity · Answer

well you got the last part right at least - that girls prefer a slim guy with a great personality [though many I bet are into muscles too.]

I also read on here a lot guys saying they don't really care about what a girl looks like but instead her personality...but I believe for most people it's a little bit of everything for a relationship - looks, personality, character, interests, etc...though of course there are exceptions like some people just go for looks, others just go for personality, etc.

Anonymous · Answer

im 21 and no I don't prefer a skinny guy, I know personality counts, but I'm young and youthful, and to me beauty means more to me then personality...more likely then not all these muscular guys that I date now are never going to be my husband one day, so eventually il move out of this phase and go for guys who have nice personalitys even if they are skinny

nobodyspecial · Answer

i know someone said it in here before me: but depending on the girl and guy and what he/shes looking for, at the particular time in his/her life (just sex or a serious relationship), it can be one or the other.  Personally, 90 percent of the time, looks come first then personality.  I will admit there are probably some rare occasional instances where two personalitites "click" really well and both people are genuine and mature enough to realize they would make a good couple regardless of any physical attraction. But in the real world, I think a relationship like that or any other wouldn't last because one or the other will move on to the "next best thing/fling."  Its just human nature.  I think people will come to realize they have to settle in the end.  Lets not forget about money too. That's a major factor too!  I think that would be an interesting poll between the three:  looks personality or money?

Miss_A · Answer

I am not shallow or immature. I do go for personality but lets be fair, we see you before we talk to you do you think your personality flies to us through the room? No of course not. We go for both. If a guy is hot and all but an ass I won't like you. If a "nerd" the "skinny guy" comes up to me and talks to me and is really nice chances are ill go out with him and give him a chance. The same with an average or hot guy. All I'm saying is we see you before we talk to you, so what attracts us first? But in saying that, I will never not go out with a really nice nerdy skinny guy because chances are he will be the best boyfriend ever :) But so could the hot guy, you don't know till you talk do you?

Cool-Relax · Answer

A guy doesn't have to be muscular, he can be just as attractive otherwise.

Personality has a lot to do with attraction. I've come across plenty of guys who I wasn't physically attracted to at first, but after getting to know them, that changed. I've also lost interest in attractive guys because they were jerks.

There has to be a balance. You have to find someone physically appealing on some level in order to have a relationship with them, and that can grow as you get to know their personality. If a person has a bad personality, nothing can change that. In that case, your relationship most likely wouldn't be long term.

Anonymous · Answer

See for me it's weird.

If I think A guy is good looking, I'm physically attracted to them right there and then.

THEN I get to know him and see if I like his personality.

If I don't feel physically attracted to you the minute I lay eyes on you, chances are no matter how good of a friend you are or how good looking you are, I won't like you.

I know it's weird... But I can't control it.

cun7n1nja · Answer

I don't really like a lot of bulk on guys as far as muscles go. I understand the bit about making a girl feel safe. I tend to be attracted to taller guys [rather than huge muscles] for this reason because it gives off the feeling of being bigger than me in general. I can take care of myself in most situations, but it's still a nice feeling. When girls say those things, it generally means, 'I'm attracted to ____, but not necessarily unattracted to someone not as ____.' Does that make sense?

And I've never been interested in anyone I can't have an intelligent conversation with, or who can't make me laugh. So personality is indeed the most important thing overall.

scarletambrosio · Answer

In my personal experience looks and personality have been directly related. When I first meet a guy and his looks are appealing for me, I get to know him better. However, if his personality is garbage...he suddenly becomes really ugly and I'm no longer interested. If the guy has an amazing personality...great, BUT I wouldn't be attracted to him or feel any chemistry with him if he wasn't my type physically, and we would just end up friends. I will say this though, I've met guys who never fit my "type" but as I got to know them better they became more appealing to me because I connected with them so well, and I liked their personality, so they became cuter in a sense. That's happened a couple of times, but not a lot.

19876p · Answer

In think it all depends on the person. Personally their has been a couple times where I  wasn't physically attracted to somebody but fell in love with the person because of their amazing personality and how much we had in common. Yet, I have also only started dating a guy because I was physically attracted to him (I know shallow), and as the time went by I noticed that because of his looks he thought he was better than everyone, and he turned out to be a very evil person. Based on my experience I  noticed that yes women do at first look at the persons physical attributes, but it the persons personality that makes you stick around. I have never heard somebody say that they stuck with a person for twenty years just because he or she was hot.

daniellapr · Answer

i think it depends on the balance between both. and the girl you ask. for me, there has to be a bit of a physical attraction, but I think that a WIDE variety of guys are attractive. I have found guys attractive that were a bit on the heavier side, as well as super skinny guys. I think that guys that look a little rough around the edges are attractive, as well as the preppy, clean cut guys. it all depends on who you're asking though. :)

Anonymous · Answer

you can have both, looks and personality, but I prefer to go for a guy whos attractive, but not overly like a model, they are usually the assholes, if you are avergare to above average looking lus have a personality you can get heaps of girls, as long as your not butt ugly.

Personality is VERY important aswell as interests, life goals, morals. But you definately need chemistry and physical attraction - if I don't feel physical attraction you cannot kiss or get sexual with a guy, no matter how sweet he is, I feel guys go for looks first, then they will get to know you only after your good looking enough.

I'm similar if I find a guy attractive then I get to know him and if he has what I'm looking for , cool, but I also keep myself open by talking to avergae guys that I meet or approach me, cos spark may fly or attraction can grow over time if you connect 100 % .

chikie2006 · Answer

we all have our diffrent types.

But how can a girl get to know you unless there's something that triggers her to want to talk to you?

When you first look at a person you don't see there personality, you see there physique!

So if your okay looking your more likely to meet a girl in a smaller enviornment. like a classroom, rather than the mall.

Catch my drift?

1FastFC · Answer

Girls like good looking assholes trust me bro.  They won't admit it but they do.

Californiaa · Answer

Personally, I dated a 280 lb slob a year ago, and our relationship lasted until he cheated on me (we were together a year and nine months) and I completely fell in adorement with his personality.

Now, I'm dating a guy who has muscles, but a little layer of "fat" over his tummy muscles.

So no, not everyone always cares about looks.

However, if someone says "Looks don't matter to me," they're liars. Looks matter to everyone, just they matter to some people more than others. For example, my best friend will NOT date a guy if he doesn't have great arm muscles, but like I said, I dated a 280 lb slob ( I say that he's a slob now because we had problems after the breakup ).

So if you have a good personality, and a great body, it's just a double plus.

lafeeverte · Answer

looks are what we're attracted to first, but if a guy's an asshole I don't care how hot he is.  and sometimes a guy's personality will change the way I see him - if he's really cool and we have a lot in common then I'll start to look at him romantically and think he's really hot even when no one else does.

Treez · Answer

Personally I don't like skinny guys... they just look too weedy... but personality wise they have to be cool out for me to be even slightly interested... nice, witty, charming without being corny, and interesting.. but every girl is different and has different things she looks for in a guy... most of my friends fellas are all completely different people... it all depends on what we are individually attracted to both physically and mentally..

ALWAYSclassy · Answer

Both. You can't have one without the other. I'm not gonna want a guy with a nice personality that doesn't look good,nor would I want a good looking guy that had a bad personality.

Body type doesn't determine your attractiveness. There are some girls who like skinny guys and think they are attractive just like there are ones who like muscular guys. The way you worded your question makes it seem like skinny guys can't be good looking

gonaners16 · Answer

Both. My crush is tall and skinny, and nice and caring.  I honestly think that I am more attracted to his personality than his 'muscular' body.  lol and he isn't very muscular because he's not athletic.  he does do a lot of things though. . . anywho, I have to be physically attracted, but a guys personality holds more weight than looks.

Naash · Answer

I prefer the one I am attracted to, could be looks, could be personality or both. All the rules fail when attraction sets in.

1catydid · Answer

i don't care much about looks but they do play a little roll in what makes me like a guy. If he is compatable and has an amazing personality then yeah I'll like him, I currently like someone who has 7 fingers. but he is the best guy I know, so to answer your question I prefer personality =]

Emilylovesphilosophy · Answer

honeslty looks won't do it for me, I don't care if your a model, if your a jackass I honestly just don't care. Personality first, and then looks. I don't like uber muscular guys I think its sort of gross. but  I like it when guys are toned, it shows that they are athletic and strong but not vain.

sweet17 · Answer

Initiallly, a good looking guy draws us, but eventually personality wins over everything else.

veritykrall · Answer

Personality is important but I could never be without the looks.

lizaveta · Answer

For women, personality and strength is what attracts us. Looks do matter, but with a confident, strong personality you can be just as attractive as someone who isn't conventionally good looking. I wrote a post about this, explaining in more detail, here:

Miss-May · Answer

Personality is extremely important, if you're personality isn't very compatible to your other half (your partner) then there will be definite problems. Looks play a minor role in a relationship, the looks have you attracted but to me the personality is most intreguing.

TexPlayboy · Answer

Ah.. you have hit on the main difference between men and women. Men will choose the opposite. :-) and yes, we are shallow. But it is much like a woman who will pick the guy with the better job over the poor guy who would never look at another girl.

Good Luck,

James

xxangel1990xx · Answer

The personality counts in the long run and I would date a skinny guy if he was working out to try and get bigger, I like fit guys so if he was skinny and wasn't working out it would be a no-no just because he wouldn't be fit or healthy.

Pearl_Girl · Answer

I like skinny guys with a little muscle. But hey, personality is number one. He should be HIDEOUS looking that's all. Normal or good looking, we always prefer the personality more even if we don't say it. I used to tell myself that the guy has to be gorgeous or I wouldn't date him but now I REALLY like two guys which aren't that good looking but are attractive in their own ways.

Ellipsis · Answer

Personality is key, for me even if there is a "hot" guy if I don't like or know his personality I will be able to see that logically he is "attractive" but I will not be attracted to him.  If there is a physical trait that I can say I "like" its because I knew someone who's personality I liked and I thus over all liked who had that trait and it stood out, its not grounds for liking someone just a perk :P.

JustConfused · Answer

personality. id go out with the ugliest guy if he had a great personality

JohnDorian · Answer

The thing is if we speak biologically, looks(good genes) is a good indicator of health, so as humans we are attracted to people who can produce healthy offsprings, so looks will attract girls to you but you have to have the personality to keep them.

Anonymous · Answer

I prefer personality, but there has to a physical attraction on some level. And yes you will find people who are shallow and only go for people are good looking and whatnot, but that's just the way it is. I don't like guys who are as skinny as a rail, but I don't want a guy who is overly obese either. That might sound shallow, but like I said, there has to be some sort of physical attraction, but a good personality is a must.

suckydancer · Answer

The really muscular guys creep me out I think their gonna crush me when they hug me. I just want a guy to hold me and never let go, but also know when to keep his distance. Although, I don't a little scrouny  kid either.  He would have to nice and sweet to everyone, but stand up for me, without making me feel embarrassed. I would like a skinny guy, but if I really love him, weight is just a number. Although, age is another story.

Ambersolovely · Answer

Sure girls talk about Hot guys everyday lol but to my opinion it doesn't matter! I'm actually attracted to guys just for who they are, if they happen to be attractive as well that would be cool lol but It doesn't matter in the long run.They tend to be more real. Girls who choose guys based on what they look like are just not worth it themselves honestly lol.

blue_jean_bby_101 · Answer

Personality is the most important thing to ME. It can change for other people. I like a muscular guy (i'm not gonna lie) but I still like a guy that is sweet, romantic and is easy to get along with. If a guy's got a great bod and a great personality, I'm all over it. xD

ziggle · Answer

usually girls go for the hot guys that are assholes

AQT4SHO · Answer

I've dated average looking, good looking and hot men.  Personality is the key.  Looks always fade.

Splash13 · Answer

Lets be honest, looks are important first up but after that they're really not important. If a girl feels affection towards a guy and if they like a guy enough they will find something that they find physically attractive in the person, people see what they want to see. In my oppinion I couldn't care less if you have pimples on your forehead big muscles (personally I actually find that a turn off) as long as you genuinely care.

thatonechick · Answer

Well, for me, looks get my attention, but you can't keep it unless you have a good personality. Not romanically anyways.

jess7 · Answer

i think personality is most important looks do matter but not asmuch as personality in my opinion.  a guy that I like can have a belly and I wodent care aslong as hw treats me right and with respects that is what matters to me.

CKhan · Answer

Why do people keep asking that? Human beings with both qualities exist. You are implying that you only have one, you are implying insecurities but by looking at your icon, you are looking damn good...pardon my French.

Cyhhgg · Answer

In my opinion, based on years of observation...

Women want exactly what we want initially (looks) and personality second. It just takes men a while to reach that emotional state of comittment, whereas in women, it's pretty much already there... for some reason :/

That's the only difference between us as far as intimacy is concerned.

Littletad · Answer

I know it's a question for girls, but I strongly believe girls would prefer personality more than looks.

crazylady29sexyfine · Answer

For me its personality...and while looks attract you to a person they DON'T keep you...lol

And even if he wasn't "my type" or "cute" his personality may end up peeking my interests and make him sexy as hell in my eyes...

xlaurizzlex · Answer

nice personality & some good looks..

muscle's or skinny don't really matter at all to most people I hope that's how it goes with me..

as long as you're attractive an have a good personality you're body "muscles or none"

shouldnt matter ;]

TexPlayboy · Answer

Girls want a guy they feel safe with, who respects them, and someone who can make them laugh. Looks are on their list of things to consider, but it is not at the top like it is for us guys.

Good Luck

James

valentin87 · Answer

girls are very shallow even though they pretend to be not. there is nothing you can do about it.

dtxxx · Answer

I go for a guy wit a nice personality. A strong guy who is fit is a bonus though but if I could find a nice guy who could treat me right I would take him over the strong fit guy any day.

ILoveCefalu · Answer

I'm prettty sure the only time that appearances matter are when you're first meeting someone. After that, it's all about personality and how  well the two of you mesh.

What do girls REALLY prefer? Looks or personality...

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