Lately, I have been noticing a lot of teenagers developing crushes on people that are not in their reach, for example actors, famous youtubers, musicians, etc. Considering myself quite a rational person, I used to ridicule the dreamy eyed mob of fan girls that screamed bloody murder every occasion they had and fantasized about a possible relationship with their crush. Maybe that’s why karma decided to give me a divine punishment and make me have feelings for a person I didn’t (still don’t) stand a chance with. So I decided to share my story with the small hope that someday, it will help some of you overcome this type of unhealthy crush.
It all started with a song. I liked it, so I checked up the band. Google was apparently my friend, offering me every piece of information I wanted about these guys. The photos showed me their devilishly good looks and the interviews showed me their passion for music. Overall, they were young, handsome and talented. What more could a girl want?
One of the guys in particular caught my attention. He seemed different from the others; unique in the way he looked and acted. I quickly became mesmerized by him, and was consumed by the desire to meet him, not for what he did, but for how he looked like. As mere illusions started to form in my head, I started to forget about the real reason I was into this band, and that was the music.
I would like to say that I wasn’t slightly obsessed with this boy, that I wasn’t imagining meeting him, having a relationship with him and that I wasn’t internet stalking him under the pretext that I just wanted some info about the band. But I would be lying then, wouldn’t I ?
I remember getting upset when hearing rumors of him dating someone, but I never did something as extreme as attacking him or the person he was dating with mean and hurtful comment. That is a nasty thing to do, and I didn’t allow myself to sink that low. I got slightly depressed about the new found piece of information , so instead of crying my eyes out, I found my shelter in music and slowly permitted myself to mend my broken heart and forget.
Somewhere along my way to recovery, I realized some things. Hurtful as these things are, they are filled with truth.
The first thing I realized was that I fell in love with an illusion. I didn’t know this guy, most probably never will. Not knowing his personality and character, I just gave him the attributes that I personally find attractive, only making him more appealing and more desirable in my own eyes. I practically made him the perfect man.
Secondly, I realized that I will never meet this guy. In the future, his band will eventually tour in my country, but I will most probably not have the opportunity to go see them live. Even if I will, there will be thousands of other fans there as well, just as excited and maybe even more love struck than me, so the probability of me meeting him are slim to none.
My final realization was that even if the seas part and I do get my change to briefly meet him, the probability of him falling madly in love with me while there are dozens of other fans /stars a lot more beautiful than me practically throwing themselves at his feet is heading rapidly towards -∞.
But the saddest realization of them all was that while he might be the entire world for me, I will forever be just another forgettable face in a sea of people for him.
This revelation hit me like a wrecking ball (that probably still had Miley sitting on it), but afterwards I suddenly calmed down. I was finally able to let my illusions and obsession go. I could finally take a breath of fresh air and sincerely focus on the reality of things. I could enjoy the band’s music once again, without feeling my heart being painfully squeezed in my chest.
The truth is that every one of us gets start struck once in the while. But we should not let that become an obsession that slowly eats us inside out. We should not become so engrossed into somebody’s life and forget about our own. We need to look reality straight in the eye and face up the facts.
My advice is to focus on the art that the artist produces and not on his personal life or his physical attributes, because those are not the things that should matter. The thing that truly matters is that piece of art that connects your soul to millions of other souls, including the artist’s. That art that makes you feel, dream and hope for a better, brighter future.
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