Psychology Behind Not Buying The Girl The First Drink For Nothing

pavlove

This is an old one: if you sit next to the girl and you ask her or she asks you to buy her a drink and you don't do it you're a douche and you get blown out. If you do it you're a chump and you still get blown out. What's a man to do with these kinds of odds?



Psychology Behind Not Buying The Girl The First Drink For Nothing



Never buy a girl that first drink...No, it's not about a game. It's not about her earning it...well, it sort of is but not in that sense. When a girl asks you or you ask a girl if you can spend your money on her even though you don't know her--it is an imposition. It's one that's common and acceptable, so why not utilize the reverse to compliment it? Tell her that if you buy her a drink, she has to make out with you, or dance with you...if it's less "on." If she won't do either then you probably shouldn't have sat down next to her in the first place, but if she will then you've exposed the charade and cut to the chase in a very dominant way.



This is obviously both a literal experience as well as a metaphor for what men are generally lacking much of the time when interacting with women. Many set themselves underneath the girl hoping that with time spent they will rise above her. I'm not sure how this model for seduction started, I think it fits in with an American ideal of hard work overcoming anything. Yet, feeling on an equal plane is much more effective because you are not only respecting yourself but avoiding being used as well.



See, the dating landscape is brutal. Until you're in love you're really much a completely selfish person. I don't fault those girls who try to use you and I'm not upset that they will seldom get called out for it even though men get called out for the slightest infracture and get called a misogynist. That's just the current time we live in. It's not perfect, but it never was. Instead, both genders need to be able to identify the moments when they are being used, and instead of falling for it or being made bitter by it--simply learn how to play the game without becoming a user yourself. Your intention is not to make the girls start paying for your drinks (by the way if you're an amazing boyfriend or an amazing lover they will buy you all sorts of things) but to both be getting something out of the interaction that you both value equally and so she gets treated as more special than the other girls and gets bought a drink and you get to kiss a pretty girl. This again can be used as a metaphor for getting mutual gratification instead of singular.



Psychology Behind Not Buying The Girl The First Drink For Nothing


Psychology Behind Not Buying The Girl The First Drink For Nothing
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