The history of men buying women drinks

[Robertcw]

Many of you may not know this, but the cultural phenomena of men buying women drinks actually began as a form of exploitation and manipulation.

The entire premise behind this idea was that alchohol reduces inhibition, so therefore to maximize his chance of scoring he needed to get alcohol in the girl's system ASAP -- even if that means he pays for it and buy's the drink for her.

And that's it.

Men started buying women drinks not because they wanted to do something nice for the girl, but simply because their goal was to get alcohol in her system so she would loosen up and be more open to sexual acts.

So for you younger women out there, don't necessarily feel accomplished -- or grateful -- when a guy either offers to buy you a drink, or does buy you a drink, because even if you wanted a drink to have fun he probably wanted to get you drunk more than you wanted to have a drink.

Aka -- don't trust guys that buy you drinks.

That's all. ✌

[Anonymous]

Someone needs to call bullshit on this nonsense, and since no one else has then I guess I'll do it.

OK, there is a grain of truth in this because throughout history there have been some guys who bought drinks for women for that reason, but there were a lot more who bought drinks for women simply as an opportunity to get to know them or even just to be nice, with zero expectation of having sex with those women that evening. Casual sex like that wasn't even a thing until relatively recently in our history. Saying it was "simply because their goal was to get alcohol in her system so she would loosen up and be more open to sexual acts" is largely false.

This reminds me of typical feminist revisionist history where feminists paint all men of the past as selfish abusers and all women as poor defenseless victims who were taken advantage of by men. The truth is there were people like that and those things did happen, but they were not the majority by any means. But it's a narrative that supports the feminist agenda so the story gets told often and a lot of naive fools believe it.

Don't be a feminist. It does a disservice to everyone, especially our ancestors who you are painting an inaccurate picture of.

[ImagineSketchy]

It's also because the woman will be more forward as she cannot hide the truth as well with her inhibitions lowered.

[Felinegirl]

Agreed on the drink part. But you're confusing feminists with feminazis.

[FaolanGrey]

A lot of things are changed over the years 😂 you can look up any tradition and see the original meaning behind it. It doesn't matter what it used to mean since now its seen as a nice thing to do. The girl doesn't have to accept the drink and she doesn't have to continuously drink until she is shit faced. If she is drinking enough to get shit faced in the first place she probably wants to have a good night anyway (not to be guaranteed just saying). If you're a female and dont want to get intoxicated dont accept a drink and instead talk to the guy anyway. It's the thought that counts and a guy shouldn't get mad if you decline a drink offer if you just tell him you dont want a drink.

Another thing is the word "guy" in of itself used to have a different meaning. "Guy" used to mean poor, ugly, gross, etc. When referring to a Male. Now it's just a common word since its meaning has changed, no one believes you're calling them a gross, poor man when you call them a guy. Its just how it is. Just like the drinks.

[sageevalentinee]

I see where this originated, but that doesn't mean men today are doing it for that intention. I mean, some might, and we have to be aware of the few bad ones who are out there. But I think the majority of guys buying a girl a drink are just looking to start talking, to be noticed and hope she will appreciate it. It's the same for both genders, like when a girl buys a guy a drink, we're never accused of having bad intentions.

[Robertcw]

I agree, but that's probably because girls don't have a history of bad intentions. So nobody suspects it because it's probably not the case.

I'm not sure about how guys do it. I've never done it myself. But my case is a little odd because I don't enjoy drinking unless I'm with a group of good friends. And ironically being with friends means nobody is flirting around and it becomes a platonic night.

As it is, I don't actually enjoy how alchohol makes me feel that much. Though, cider is okay if I had to pick anything that upsets my body the least.

[sageevalentinee]

I'm from Switzerland so I've been drinking since I was young, plus my father's hobby is wine collecting, so I was raised to have a taste for it. I usually drink with parents, so I've only had guys buy me drinks a few times. I haven't had a bad experience yet, hopefully never will.

[Bensbrie]

Good news for me! I dont drink (I dont even like beer, but I do like sparkling grape juice lol), and dont go to bars, and am married so I dont have this problem! Besides, even if I were the type of person who did enjoy those things and were single, I definitely would feel uncomfortable with a stranger buying me a beverage, particularly a Male that I'm not friends with.

[Robertcw]

I find barhopping with a group of girls I know from Yoga class to be a totally different (and better) experience than going out alone.

Much better to go with friends in my opinion.

[Bensbrie]

I think I'd rather have a couple good friends come over and have a movie night and eat and enjoy some sparkling grape juice or something! Thanks for sharing with me your preferences though hon!

[Robertcw]

Well, can't flirt that way (I'm an attention whore, actually). I enjoy flirting quite a lot, bit mostly I just enjoy when girls are into me.

[Bensbrie]

Oh, okay. I'm not the super flirtatious type. I'd feel awkward with a whole bunch of men nothing me lol. I tend to want to the attention of one man more lol. Guess that's why I married a man I met in China who went to the school I was studying at for a few months lol.

[WalterBlack]

There is a difference between offering a woman a drink as a way to break the ice when trying to start a conversation vs pathologically feeding someone alcohol due to ulterior motives.

A man that buys one drink for a woman is most likely NOT trying to get her drunk in order to take advantage of her. At worst, he may hope that she finds the conversation a little more interesting with some alcohol in her system.

However, a man that strongly insists on buying multiple drinks for a woman is probably is trying to manipulate her. This is especially true if the woman already appears to be impaired by alcohol when he offers her a drink.

I would reccomend rephrasing your conclusion as "don't trust guys that are really pushy or insistent about buying you drinks".

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I will only buy a girl a drink when the following criteria are met:

1) I brought up the subject unprovoked-- since many girls will just flat out ASK FOR FREE SHIT (and most guys comply coz they're horny mutts and not realising the true nature of the request)

2) I want to "reward" her for being awesome (ie: I genuinely am enjoying her company and wanna share a drink with her for the social bonding aspect)

3) I'm in a position to spend the money on her without attachment to any outcome-- (as you point out, most guys buy drinks hoping to get women drunk and vulnerable. If I'm buying a girl drinks, it has to come from a place of pure giving, with no specific outcome in mind. "If she took the drink and just walked off, would I be content with that result anyway?")

[fashionguy17]

Nice take. Honestly.

I don't think men should buy women drinks, though... UNLESS it's for someone they are dating.

A lot of women take advantage of men these days that way. I used to have female friends that would flirt with men just to get free drinks out of them, and that's wrong to me, especially if you have no real intention of getting to know them.

Hell... women used to approach me in the clubs and bars and ask me to buy them a drink. When I refused, they would try to guilt me. When I would still refuse, they would say that I am rude or an asshole and walk away. Lol.

[hahahmm]

My take is that women aren’t innocent angels. A woman who wanted to be sexually but not be judged socially knew that if she took a sip she could blame her actions on the drink.

Oh, and guys buying women drinks is going away real soon. The bar industry is in decline. Guys are fed up with all the feminists stuff & no longer think it’s worth buying stuck up strangers a drink.

[Kaazsz]

I thought everyone knew this already, especially the girls. They know exactly what it is.

They know they can go out and drink for free because thirsty guys want to fuck them.

I don’t feel like this is a big secret but hey, maybe there’s some really sheltered people out there.

[KezHarris]

I actually find that a guy will buy me one drink. Then, when they see that they have no chance, they don't offer another one 😂 well... that's what the majority of English guys at bars are like (ones I've met, lol) maybe they are just too broke to afford to get me drunk? 😂

[FaolanGrey]

Or maybe they dont want to waste their money on someone they aren't interested in and isn't interested in them?

[Spiritwander]

👍that's pretty much it👍

[nerms123]

Guys buy me non alcoholic drinks all the time. Problem solved.

[Terrakion]

I like buying a chick an iced tea, I like beer myself

[purplepoppy]

Always remember the ladies code that if you accept drinks 3=BJ 5=sex any more than 8 and you won't remember anyway.

[Robertcw]

What? lol. Is that a thing?

[purplepoppy]

It's just good manners

[boredblondie]

I had more idea. Lol

[boredblondie]

*no idea

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

I thought you were gonna mention the West Village, The Gay Bar Scene, the Libertines/Bohemians, Sexual liberation, and the predictive programming of tv/movies of men buying whores drinks in saloons.

But yes, this is why I never bought a woman a "drink" which itself is a euphemism.

[Grobmate]

Wrong! Historically this was dye to the following reasons.

1. Very few women earned a wage, so could not purchase alcohol;
2. Because women were not allowed in the public bar and couldn't even enter through the main entrance, only through a side entrance known as the "Ladies Entrance", (this was indeed the case in nearly all saloons up to at least the early 1800s);
3. Women who did enter a bar had to do so escorted by a male and were not to be served at the bar.

[Grobmate]

The Ladies entrance led to a female only area, where drinks were probided complimentary by the saloon.

[Rocky_Jocky57]

Ew. I can see some truth in this, but I don't think modern men use this for that reason (unless there's a roofie) I'm sure its just to get some attention on them and do something nice.

[mistixs]

I'm a homebody who thinks alcohol is disgusting so this isn't relevant to me, but from the sight of it, this MyTake sounds to me like you're jealous that women can get free drinks.

[Robertcw]

Ah, no I actually don't enjoy alchohol. I'm jealous they can get with attractive people with little or no effort tho.

[White-American89]

It's usually a device to break the ice and introduce yourself to a sexy lady. If she refuses your drink she's no intrest in you or a conversation with you.
See women like strong confident men rather than manginas

[poseidon1111]

The fact that you belief this says something of your own beliefs and treatment to women this is also just heresay there is nothing factual that suggest this is the origin of men buying women drinks, I find it a horrible thought and never buy women drinks to lower inhibitions I buy the first drink how much she drinks is purely upto her.

[hot70sguy61]

my experience with girls I buy a drink for? only if they ask... I dont force myself onto them... I always try to be polite and sincere... If we are both having a mutually agreeable date together.. yes I would buy her a drink because we are with each other... courtesy always in my book...

[ItsyBits]

Was there anyone out there that wasn't aware why men buy women drinks? 😂😂😂

[HereIbe]

Evidence? Let's see the research.

I can counter your bullshit by citing centuries of ethology and mammology that shows MANY males present items to females when attempting to court. The buying of a "drink" is just one of those methods. Likewise, until the 20th century, at least in the USA, women were usually legally excluded from drinking establishments of any sort.

[iFarted]

"Aka -- don't trust guys that buy you drinks"
He forgot to add "all" after trust, before guys.

[Robertcw]

fair point.

[Disoriented_Shinpi]

"but the cultural phenomena of men buying women drinks actually began as a form of exploitation and manipulation."
Well yeah, we wanted dates.

[Robertcw]

noted.

[Carlos_Dyer]

you put a question wanting a direct answer yet inserting a judgmental poìnt of view not actually base upon facts only on mere theories gaining a rating of about 35% and the other 65 % does things as its just a common way to treat a ladie without her going into her own pocket and drawing out her own cash as its the gentlemen way of being outright respectful. as for the 35% you stand corrected but say all men are that way that in itself is mere theory.