u It depends on what I've observed of her personality and how well I know her. And yes, how I feel about her would play into my reaction.
In fact, I even have a recent example. There's a girl who hangs out with the Catholic young adults in my area. She's SUPER chatty and outgoing. At a social gathering a few months ago, I introduced myself to her, but she claimed we'd already met before (maybe we did, but I really honestly don't remember). At one point, she randomly said that she was "offended" that I didn't remember her.
Then, a couple of weeks ago at another gathering, I was talking with one of my friends. She came over, talked a bit, and stroked my arm some in the process. I'm not really into her, so I didn't think much of it. My friend and I both commented on it a bit after she left. He said "it's hard to tell with her". As everyone was leaving, she was walking arm-in-arm with another guy, but kind of skipping or dancing or something.
Now if it were another girl whom I've talked with and/or I may be interested in, I'd probably put a little more stock in it.
I don't talk or touch any guys.. so that shouldn't be a problem.
I'm kinda shy, and if I'm being touched by a girl I don't want to be touched by, I sort of roll whatever body part got touched out from under her grasp.
Although, as a bald guy, I do this for anyone touching my head. Whether I like you or not I don't like people touching my head.
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I was talking to an inexperienced guy once and I touched him on his shoulder and he shocked a little. It was actually pretty cute.
A little touch on the shoulder or on the arm can really bond people by the way. I read once in a psychological research that touching somebody when first meeting, you have 60% more chance that they like you. I always thought this was interesting information.
I think if he isn't interested he'll feel uncomfortable
If he likes you, it might make him even more nervous than before, which is cute :3
The problem is seeing which one it is...
How is he around you? Does he initiate? Stare? Or just awkwardly sits there?
I can't tell if he stares often as he is usually not sitting still.. I have caught him looking before... He doesn't usually initiate other than a smile and head nod from across the room. I have to. He did speak to me the other day... First time and uses my name... He does seem nervous... Rambles a bit and my friend said one time while talking he was standing kinda close to me.
Yeah I'd say he is interested in you. Continue initiating conversations with him, he'll open up soon :)
I'd say wait before breaking the touching barrier
He broke it once a couple months back... But hasn't repeated. Not sure if I did something wrong or what...
Nono, completly normal, he just doesn't want to seem too weird. He just wants to look good around you
I hope so. I think I really like this one...
Then go for it! Just take your time with him, he will appreciate it!!
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If it is anything other than a person trying to get my attention for something, I am not much for touching. It would make me feel uncomfortable.
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It depends. If a women just touches me on my arm to get my attention, I won't think much of it because that's just a normal way to get someones attention. If we are conversing and maybe laughing, and she puts her hand on my arm or something, I will think she's flirting and possibly likes me. No girls have really ever touched me like this, and if one did I might react a bit nervously. Closest I've gotten to being touched by a girl was one of my female friends would always punch me and stuff lol.
Would you move away if you saw she was gonna do it and you don't like her?
I probably wouldn't move away, unless she approached me with her hand very quickly or something aha. Even if I didn't like her I wouldn't mind.
He's almost twice your age... So I'm sure he doesn't feel that way. Older guys tend to not wanna be bothered by girls they feel nothing for.
Can't help you there, I doubt he'd be rude enough to pull away though, no matter what age. Depends on the individual I guess.
Hmmm... Well.. How would I know he didn't want me to? Or didn't really want to talk?
If he`s shy it can be hard to tell. For example, if I don`t like a girl I won`t bother going out of my way to talk to her unless I need to, but it works the same way if I like a girl. Even if I kinda know a girl, I`ll have trouble going out of my way to talk to her if I like her, because I`m just shy.
However, if you start a conversation with him, and he seems to want to continue that conversation as much as he can, then he probably likes you. I did this with a girl I liked last year that I kinda knew. She approached me a few times, and when she did, even though I was awkward, I tried to prolong our conversations for a long time because I knew I wouldn't be able to approach her later. That's all the 'original' advice I can give from a shy guys perspective, but I'm sure you can google stuff like this too :)
Its hard to tell... Our conversations are never long. Per say... He kinda rambled when answering... and I can tell he's nervous. which in turn makes me nervous... Sometimes he flips from a greeting to a question (how r u) to a statement (its cold and you have no coat n outside... ) and I get confused... Normally I'm not shy but I think I feed off his anxiety.
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It's just like BCRanger said, if it were someone I liked then I'd put more thought into it but if you read his story he said, "As everyone was leaving, she was walking arm-in-arm with another guy." That alone kinda suggest she's either flirty or just likes too many guys. lol just be carful for mixed signals and try not to read too deeply into it... Some people we swear your deeply inlove with them just because you have them a hi five or something hahaha
Uh I recently was in a situation where I knew this girl for years but we never chatted before until must recent. She would grab my arms when laughing , always touching on me. I never thought of it any kind of way til I got to really know her and I'm like she's my type. But even then I'm just like maybe this could just be how she is but at first I didn't react but when I did notice I just thought how could I bring this up to her. Came to the conclusion you can't tell so you just gotta ask.
Imma a shy guy myself so if I like a girl I'd always look to when and where I can chill with her. I'm always looking at her until I feel it in my gut that I want to ask her out
Heh. I'd probably joke about it. "Hey hey... hands off the goods now. " "well, if you want to touch my arm, could you get back?"
Or I'd just quietly keep it to myself and try to watch how you interact with other guys.
I doubt I'd take it as a sign of interest.
It depends on the individual person. I tend to be shy but I've had enough experience in the past to know when I'm being hit on. If I was interested I'd flirt back. If I was a shy, introverted, experience-less guy I'd probably panic and try to shift away from you.
If it's a girl we like, we are so happy because to me that's a sign she likes you back. If we're not interested, but we are shy we'll be flattered but still not react physically except for getting you off and trying to not embarrass either of us.
It would probably depend on whether I was interested in her or not. If I like her but are shy around her and she touches my arm, hand, shoulder etc then I would feel comfortable/confident in flirting with her however if I'm only interested in being friends and nothing more then I would just smile at her but wouldn't lead her on.
Well honestly... I don't want anyone I'm not friend with touching my shoulder.
Don't flirt with me unless I know you. But if someone I know or am friends with touches me (in non sexual areas) then yes I would respond well. It makes me feel good. But if a stanger did that I'd be like get the f@!# away from me.
If I"m not really attracted to her, I don't think much of it, and maybe try to avoid situations where she'll do it.
If I do like her, trumpets blare, shivers run down my spine, a million thoughts of what it could mean start running through my head, etc, etc. Basically its the greatest thing ever
So you will avoid talking to her if you don't like her?
Not necessarily, and sometimes the exact opposite. There have been plenty of times that, although I enjoy the contact with girls I like, liking them just makes me more shy and unsure of what to do so I tend to sort of steer clear of the person. The other way is true too, where not liking the person at all removes any pressure from the situation and makes me infinitely more comfortable talking to her. It depends greatly on the guy and the situation, but I think there is generally a hint of whether a guy is being shy or completely cold not talking to a girl
I know he shy.. But I can't figure out if he's wanting to talk to me or just being nice when approached.
It's always hard to know, but if you find that he acts differently around you than other girls, its a good sign he likes you
Lol.. he doesn't talk to girls unless they are married to his friends so I can't really tell...
Ok... So he says hi and keeps moving but I did catch him looking... So... I catch him after lecture... He almost backs into me. I ask him for a moment and he says he's busy but next time if I can't hang around and I say text me.. he says he doesn't like to have girls numbers, he doesn't want to give the wrong impression... He's standing pretty close to me. I ask about an invite he didn't reply to. He gives me this long drawn out thing about how he's bad a responding but getting better and sometimes he just shows up and then he kinda put his hand on my shoulder and said I know that's not a good thing. He then proceeded to apologize for hurting my feelings. A couple times... And then I asked if I was bothering him with my invites and he never really said.. so.. m confused totally.. m insight?
My guess; if it was just him being shy, he would have taken your number when you offered it. The fact that he's try to talk his way out of it and whatever else makes me think that it really is him being uninterested
Technically he has my number from before. He took a card from me, a while back... So... that's the confusing part.
I just don't understand. I gave him an out. I said if I was bothering him I wouldn't send invites. Why didn't he take it? And why touch me twice? When he hasn't been? There was people around but... It just doesn't make sense. He even talked for a good little while after he initially said he was busy and he ended with his it was good to talk to you.. Can you not see where my confusion is coming from?
I would play a little hard to get, out of fear of getting hurt, then open up. It's not because I love playing games, it's cause I take relationships seriously.
I want to ask you this, would you keep trying to get a shy guy "that you like crushable kind of way" to open up, after he was kind of standoffish? Knowing you can sense you likes you too but doesn't know how to be more confident?
Yes. If I can sense he's trying or know he likes me. If I can't tell at all... I might give up.
No... Not really... why?
Well... I'm working pretty hard right now and have no idea if its paying off any. No girl or guy is gonna put on effort if they don't see something to tell them , there's a chance of some sort.
I hope so. I just hope it happens before I get old... Lol!
Well to be honest, I love talking to girls in general and am not bad at doing it but I have nearly no confidence as far as flirting with a girl is concerned or asking a girl out.
So I would probably reciprocate those touching actions a bit, and if we're out in a bar I might ask her to dance or get her a drink to see what her reaction is, but unless she showed some concrete evidence of being interested in me, I still probably would'nt make a proper move on her.
I'm an introvert and barely talk to people so I guess I count as shy.
I believe there would be a different reaction if the person liked you.
If the person liked you then you would mostly see more animation after you touched them and they recognise that you are giving them attention.
If the person doesn't like you, he may be more docile and may seem to want to put an end to the conversation.
I have hard times retaining my hands from touching. I guess its a way I have to show affection. But somehow I HATE TO BE TOUCHED, makes me feel uncomfortable at some point, just like a cat that had enough patting.
But people are different.. Take it easy, just rub first. Then if you feel comfortable with his reactions, go ahead !
If it caught me by surprise I'd turn red and give a surprised look. In my head I'd have no idea why she was doing it. Shy people usually don't assume it because you like them. If it's a one timething they may think your messing with them. If it happens mmore than once and when no one is around or watching they'll get the hint.
a girl at my last job put her hand on my shoulder for about 7 seconds I'm pretty sure she was flirting with me but I didn't want to date her due to reasons like race and religion. I didn't physically react to it but yeah I ran a relationship check in my head.
Did you show her somehow you wasn't interested?
Race? .. Mmm OK what do you mean a relationship check? What's that like?
No, I just spoke to her the same way I did everyone else at work. It didn't change anything because as far so I'm concerned it didn't mean anything.
I'm a guy, unless a girl says to me 'I like you as more than a friend' then I won't take any advance seriously unless there's fire in her eyes or we're on a date.
Relationship test as in, I go over in my mind the traits the person has and decide whether or not I want to bother with anything past friendship. Yes, race is one of them, I like white people.
When I was shier than I am now, I thought they were screwing around with me. Sort of like, when you were a kid, other kids would say they liked you then chuckle about tricking you behind your back.
Now I understand it better, but if I'm not attracted to her, it gets awkward. I don't want to hurt her feelings.
So how do you get your non interest across without hurting her feelings?
Well, these things usually don't happen both with us alone and with us knowing each other fairly well. Usually it's either a waitress making a momentary touch while I'm eating alone, or someone else doing it while I'm with people.
In either case, I just act like it didn't happen. I know that's not a clear answer to her, but I can't exactly say out of the blue "Thanks, but I'm not up for a relationship right now" as a response to her just touching me. She could just deny that that's what she meant, and it would seem like I was arrogantly concluding she must be attracted to me.
Alright but if you do know her a bit and have had a conversation or two and you don't like her... As this is my situation. (except I don't know if he does or is just nice)
I'm not sure anything I say will be accurate for him, because I have changed a good bit over the last couple of years. I can't remember being alone with a girl I knew and seeing her touch me. It's probably happened and I was too dense to recognize what it meant.
Guys don't understand body language very well, so there's a good chance that he won't (or didn't) understand what a touch means. If he does understand what it means, but isn't interested, I think (if he were sensitive) that he would move the conversation towards something that tells you he's uninterested. He might bring up something about a girlfriend (saying, for instance, "yeah, my girlfriend and I were thinking about going upstate"), or how he's not up to dating right now (even if he doesn't specifically say that he's not interested in dating you). On the other hand, if he's straightforward, he might just say "I don't feel like dating" or something like that.
You said in your comment that this is your situation, and you also implied in the question that this is something that has already happened. Can you explain what happened, if you two talking together--and you touching him--is something that has already occurred? That might make it easier to understand.
Or is this something that hasn't happened yet, but you are going to try to do when you two meet?
We are talking but I haven't touched him... He dod touch me once... A while back... once...
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Saw him last night. See new question.
I had this one girl recently grab my arm in a gentle way on many occasions. First time took me by surprise and I welcomed the gesture, but felt quite casual about it, not a big deal.
Soon I started developing a crush and when she did so I was calm on the outside but got butterflies and turned all mushy on the inside. :D
i used to be shy... i didn't know what to do when that happened to me so I stood still. made a fool of myself :P
Awwww! I doubt that
If I liked her, I would reciprocate these type of actions. If I didn't like her, I would most likely avoid physical contact but not conversation. I'm social so it can't really apply to this guy, but all people are social in there own way so it kinda does. Maybe try other methods of grabbing his attention, because he might feel a bit intimidated or he might not like you. Be optimistic but don't get your hopes up too high.
If we were only friends i would be completely calm and maybe joke about it. If it was someone i had a crush on i would be extremely shakey, my cheeks would turn red, and My voice would be very shakey and crackey.
For me, I find physical contact a bit intimate. I myself try to avoid touching people in a way that'd suggest unfamiliar intimacy if I can avaoid it. Because I realize others don't have this limitation, I just assume it'd be platonic if someone did so to me. What I mean is, if a girl just randomly started to touch or grab my arm, I'd assume she was just teasing me or something similar. Being friendly like she is to everyone else.
Hard to say without seeing the person, shy dudes who aren't gay would internalize attraction becuase they are bashful, but for any human in general, make eye contact. Anything you need to know can be observed very easily this way. Otherwise its difficult becuase say he freezes up it may be becuase he's nervous and your overwhelming him (which is good for you) or it may be becuase your making him unconfortable and he's not assertive enough to express this outwardly etc
If I was attracted to her, I would be turned on by it. Otherwise it would probably be awkward.
So you would do what?
If I know her a little, and I was attracted to her I'd probably ask her for number. If she touches me like that she has to be attracted to me.
And also maybe touch her back a little.
I'm probably going to get closer to her and start flirting heavily. Then i'd look at her deeply in the eyes, then initiate a passionate make out session.
That is, I would pinch myself first to verify that I wasn't in fantasy land.
The pupils will dilate.
Breathe stops.
Internally, we enjoy it.
Personaly I respond well, but it must be do in right way.
First you must say what you wanna do. I tell you way - if take my hand for no reason i might be pised off because mens don't like to be rule. You must have a permission and everyting will be all right, You must me convince to let you touch me and do what you want. All of fist is permission
If I like her.. I'd probably panic and start thinking shit. And I'd start a waterfall of sweat. A girl, touching me? What has this world come to? Shit like this doesn't happen!
It depends... If it's a light touch on the forearm with a flirty laugh as you have eye contact then it's a big hint and you should be able to tell but other then that guys including me don't seem to notice
panic attack. call the ambulance and give me dark chocolate
I'm shy so I'd move my hand away quickly and get confused. I'd prefer a verbal statement stating you like me, a way to contact you and time to register it and your understanding of that
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I would probably feel uncomfortable at first but I would like it. Especially if I saw potential to like her.
Jerk away?
Not really
What would you do if you don't like her then?
Then I'd try to avoid her
Ok..
I'd probably be a little nervous either way, if I knew her or didn't. I just get nervous in social situations. And a girl touching me would be a new thing
Why? What do you want? Thats slightly manipulative. Was it even conciseness? Am I over thinking this? Should I? But its so subtle from her how would it be any less so from me? Fuck this I got shit to do.
If I wasn't expecting to be touched or if I wasn't at a certain level of comfort with someone, I'd involuntarily jerk my hand/arm away just a little and be uncomfortable. I don't like touching much, unless I'm intimate with that person.
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Ya if you want him to know you like him you need to give a more obvious sign. Subtle hints don't work on shy guys, we just don't get them.
I wouldn't mind if she would do that. I have gotten a girl to sit next to me, but she already has a boyfriend.
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I am a shy guy and I will not touch a girl in response, however, I will not pull back or like be offended or anything if a girl touches me. If it's a girl I like I would probably just want to be around her more after that.
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I'm not really shy, I can initiate conversation with anyone.
If a girl who I knew a bit, not really well grabbed my arm I wouldn't mind.
I had a girl do that to me and it just took me by surprise. Didn't really bother me but it surprised me.
Probably do the same. grab her arm or shoulder or hand. maybe even a hug if she didn't seem to mind. I'd think it's just for fun til it happens too often or long, then it becomes flirting
If the woman is smiling at me while she's touching me, then I'm going to want to... kiss her. Would that be acceptable?
I would probably shiver a little and get anxious, whether I like her or not. But if I do like her, it'd be a little more severe I think.
Anxious how? What if you are somewhat comfortable around her? Even greeting her on your own? Does that make a difference?
Thanks! I'm just not completely sure he wants to talk to me.. he is super nice guy...
How would I know he didn't? Just to be safe...
But will he tell me? That's what I'm afraid of. I'd rather know I have no chance than to keep wasting my time...
The party invite wasn't enough? That his sister said no to for them both? Well.. She said they couldn't make it. But they appreciated the invite...
Ok...
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What about this? Totally confused now
if the guy is as shy as myslef then you have to do a lot of the work or most of the time you will find yourself both sitting there being quiet and doing nothing... sorry for us guys who are like that
If it's accidentally, I'd jerk my hand away, if she meant it, I'd feel awkward and walk away. :(
It depends on the person. For me, I get uncomfortable but if she continues touching me, I'll eventually get used to. If I like her then I'll probably be filled with joy.
Will you jerk away?
If you like her or don't?
Ok... I doubt you do half as bad as you think... What if you don't like her?
I'm not talking about you.. but her touching you...
Thanks.
If I don't like her I'm like... No touching, ew.
If I like her, it's awkward BUT comforting.
I would Kind oft don't know how to react. I'd probably pull back or appear shocked xD
Would you smile if you did like her or do something to indicate or do it back? Or would she assume from your reaction you didn't cafe for her?
Probably the latter xD people tend to get the idea that I'm not interested... But I think if I kind of know that she's totally into me, I'd not react that awkward.
I emailed him I care about him.. Does that count?
That's friendly behavior :D so not really. It may take a lot to make him get the idea xD
Not in my book... I don't have guy friends really... He does know that... Oh well.. we shall what happens.
It takes a lot for me to get the idea xD a girl had been watching DVDs at my place and we did a lot of stuff together but I never thought that she might be interested. She even leaned against me while watching movies but she always said in her family they are just that touchy, feely so I thought it was just normal friends behavior.
Yeah. He's a little older than you and has some sisters...
I've got a sister too. She's ten years younger than me though.
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i am a shy guy, but if some girl touches my arm, i would be calm but you know.. if i like the girl.. i'll start showing the interest..
As you can see from most comments, shy guys over react to touch :D So they treat is as a bigger deal than it actually is, and probably will make things awkward. So if guy is shy, don't touch him :)
well if we're shy would we each react in our own way? its not like a 'one size fits all' type deal...
I wouldn't react much. If I am speaking and she touches, I would maybe stop speaking.
Depends on the woman, ifs she's creepy, freek out... but if she's lovely. ... burst with chillz on the inside. ...
If I was shy, I'd freeze up as to not look stupid. Then reminisce about what happened!!
:D
i would start to get nervous and heart would start beating.. then i would unexpectedly kiss her :)
I get freaked out unless I'm comfrotable with them. They can even be attractive, but I still don't like it.
No, if i like her, I'd flirt back some, depending on how i knew her
I love it when girls do this. It shows they have some confidence and thats sexy.
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See newest question since I can't update.
im a shy girl and i would a bit shy but after some minutes iwould feel more confortable to get closer.
.. As a sort of shy guy.. it's kinda cool, even when your in the car and they lean on you as you turn the corners lol.. It's cool lol!
I hate being touched, so I would pull away reflexively, whether I liked her as a person or not.
What if you are comfortable with her?
I still would be uncomfortable being touched.
Alright but would you glare at her? Run away? Smile? Anything to indicate you either did not want to talk or do?
Wow.. Are you married or have a s. o. ? How do u handle being touched on an affectionate?
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