first,the fake hair turns a lot of guys off..they like girls with long real hair and not frizzy/also MOST white guys date within their own race ...that's what most of them were raised around mostly and are comfortable with.they don't date for the sake of being diverse,they date who they're most comfortable with...they don't decide "hey,i'm going to date somebody that's outside my own race,because it;s being diverse..they date based on appearance and who they're going to be comfortable with dating/if they've never dated outside they're own race ,they're not likely to decide to start dating for the sake of being diverse//that's kind of absurd really./ I've been told that I'm too narrow minded and that dating only within my race is discrimination..of course it is..if I prefer coffee over tea,i'm being discrminitory /dating only whites like myself is being disriminatory in the way of being preferential ..but not racist..Most white males,like most blacks,asians etc,date within their own race..that's a fact/ I remind people that say it's racism or discrimination in a racist manner to look up the words "preference","racism" and "discrimination" as they obviously don't understand the differences/many people don't date chubby or fat girls..this is preference again.. recent studies show that most people date and eventually marry within their own race//the most ridiculous thing I ever heard is that nobody should base the decision to date someone based on their appearance or looks(fat,skinny,tall,short,skin color,etc)..that's claiming nobody has the right to have preference.and that's just plain idiotic./most people don't date for the sake of being diverse..period./most people have preferences of some sort/regardless of what the media potrays(tv shows,movies and celebrity realtionships).most people date solely insidetheir own race(don't base hollywood celebrities' interracial relationships as being the typical..) most white men date within their own race,because they're white..it' s what they were raised around or with mostlymost people date within their own race/it's just that simple/no big mystery
For a lot of guys its lack of attraction, I even kno one friend who called black girls "hideos". For me though it s been opportunity and fear I guess. For one, I went to Catholic school all through grade-high school, and there weren't many black kids. I mean talking to girls is no easy task and when I didn't have time or opportunites to ease my way into getting to know any it makes things worse. I also felt really hesitant to ever approach a black girl, I always thought they would be like "what the hell are you doing?" or give me a look or something. Or I thought that black girls are looking for black guys mostly, or they might think that I wana "get street cred" by dating a black girl or something. As for social stigma I really haven't had much of a problem telling people to screw off when it comes to my decisions so I think id b fine, and I mean my family isn't really bigoted or nething. However, I worry about what her fam would b like. I mean being over for dinner or fam events could be awkward even if they were nice, And I would feel over-cautious a bout a lot of stuff. And I would worry that even if her and I were close that I wouldn't b able to relate to a lot of her friends/fam and stuff. Also the interacial-dating things goes both ways, I heard bout this guy from nj that got beat into a coma by 6 black dudes because he was dating a black girl, and I had a friend who dated a black guy and when she met the guy's dad he said "o, you coudlnt find a sister?". But after my first semester of college these past months I've been defintiely meeting a ton of people so you never know who I could end up with.
Also as for guys that say lighter skinned black girls the better (this in my mind equates being white with being considered attractive), I seriously disagree, I remember there was a haitian exchange student at my high skool and she was really dark but she seriously was one of the most gorgeous girls that I've ever seen of any race. Skin tone is def not an issue for me and probably not for a lot other guys 2.
Since when did guys (we're talking about white men here) ever worry about culture OR similar personality interests when dating women? It's a notorious pattern observed that MEN will even put UP with girls with bad personalities or incompatible matches for the sake of their attraction factor to that female (that is why you see men hooking up with an extremely attractive girl even if he has to put up with arguments, etc). And if the men usually don't find you attractive, they will use your personality as an excuse (oh, she doesn't have similar cultural values to me , or she's too loud of a person...). that's my opinion. When it comes to men satisfying the call of their 'down unders' , they could care less about your cultural values, personalities...
So all these excuses of not liking black women centering around her personality traits sound like a way to get off (dancing around the corner). We all know that most men just at the end of the day want to have sex and sexual stimuli are rather looks driven so I'd think they'd choose women based on their looks for the most part... so don't write off black women because of their 'personality' traits because you never really looked at personality traits in the first place if you get what I'm trying to say; it's just an excuse and I wouldn't be readily to believe that as a reason to not approach women. ALSO saying you are afraid----if most men were so intimidated as to approach girls you wouldn't see that many men with 10s now would you? You'd think men would be REALLY intimidated of rejection from a girl that is out of their league, but I have seen a lot of average men hooking up with 10s, so the 'fear' of rejection approaching black women is questionnable in my mind.. not saying it could possibly be the reason, but I'd like to consider a perspective...
A lot of white guys assume black girls want black guys and black guys only which isn't necessarily true. I'm black and I've always been more attracted to white guys, my friends are absolutely amazed on the rare occasion when I see a black guy and go, "Oh he's cute." But I've always been more attracted to white guys, couldn't tell you why. In pre-school I used to run around with some little blonde hair blue eyed boy and we'd tell people we were going to get married.
Some white guys also assume that most black girls will act "ghetto" which isn't at all true. Then there's also the fear of random black guys getting mad for white guys dating "their women." The fear of meeting a black girls family can be in there too. With interracial relationships there's always the fear of people saying something but really your relationship is really none of their business.
But it's not just the guys who'll wind up with rude comments it's the girls too. When I tell people I'm more attracted to white guys than black guys I've heard everything from, "What, you think you're too good to date a black guy," to being told that I'm a traitor to my race which is absolutely ridiculous. Some people ask me if it's just "ghetto" black guys that I don't like and are amazed when I tell them no. I know plenty of well educated black men and I just don't find them attractive, I'm just way more attracted to white guys than I am black guys, it's as simple as that
Social stigmas. You've watched TV lately right? It's a common fact that the general portrayal of the average black person in the media is not a good thing.
Culture differences could be one. A black girl that is "whitewashed" wears A&F and acts white would be more likely to get a white boyfriend than a around the way girl from the hood. People usually date those they have things in common with. If they look at you and you fit a different image than they do, they are less likely to get to know you
It may be 2010 but racism is still here. Jim Crow racism is pretty much dead but there are those who still have stereotypical views and think of themselves as superior. If not that particular guy, then maybe his family and peers would frown on it
Some are not attracted to black girls. Usually in most cases, most people are attracted to others with features similar to their own.
Also some can fear the reactions of HER peers...maybe like a Romeo and Juliet thing. I remember I was talking to this white guy a couple years ago, we were pretty good friends and had a lot in common...we almost went out but one of my friends had a problem with it. He saw us talking and actually came up to him and picked a fight with him.. and a lot of other stuff happened after that so that pretty much ruined things..(goes back to the race thing, he is a black guy but doesn't like to see white boys date black girls)
Opinion
103Opinion
There's NOTHING I find sexier/more attractive than a healthy, beautiful black woman. Always have and always will. When a woman like that even engages in conversation with me my legs start to feel like jello lol. and I'm as white as they may come too; Blue eyed, bearded, tattooed, boot wearing, rock music jamming, outdoors loving, motorcycle riding, gun owning, God fearing goofball. To me it's all about intimidation. I've been through a lot in my life but still the most intimidating thing to me is a beautiful strong black woman. I want to say because they are (to me) superior on so many levels compared to other types of women, but I have never dated one so I can't say for sure, that's just my speculation. But I honestly believe what stops me, it is the fear of such a cultural gap. What do I talk about? Will I share anything in common? Can I make her laugh? Or Will she laugh at me because I like things she may think are so far out or dumb or "white".. it could be anything that one may fear that the other does not have in common- types of music, types of food, sports or hobbies, traditions, upbringings, ideals on parenting or life itself. and even things that turn me on, could be something that she would reject me on. I guess what has always stopped me is the fear that I'm too different. Or just weird. It's crazy because I'm really not scared of much and I love things that are different. Maybe because it's something I've wanted so bad that the rejection of not being able to be with "her" is worst than just not knowing. I literally daydream about it quite often. And if people stare or give hard time? Make out right in front of them. A family member or friend doesn't approve? Cut them right out of my life. I'm not scared of any of that. Just the thought of maybe I'm too different. Or maybe I can start a relationship but then it might fall apart because I'm too different. That "she" may not take me seriously.
i guess I just need to man up and try. Because I'm tired of not knowing lol
I think that beautiful women come in all colors, shapes and sizes, as I have no major race issues. I must admit though I had an African American woman pursuing me some time back when I was in the service as she often commented on my fat behind, which she always said was a compliment and that she would really like to be with me. I didn't have a problem with this and was always friendly with her. However when we were supposed to "hook up" as it were I didn't do anything, not because I didn't like her, but because at the time I was still a virgin and was rather worried that my "junk" wouldn't be big enough for her or that I wouldn't please her, so this was more a confidence issue on my part than a racial issue. I feel today though that were I single again and an African American woman were to pursue me again I would be more confident than before and I would be a little more assertive, not because my dimensions have changed from before, but I have a little more experience and believe it is more how I treat a woman than how big or small my parts are. I hope this makes sense and that it isn't offensive to anyone, I'm just being honest.
On the average, I'm not attracted to black women. That being said, I've known attractive black women, two where I work both of which married = not interested. Now that I think of it, a friend has this absolutely STUNNING friend, so cute it's almost difficult to look at her (yes, it's possible to be that cute)...
My "hangup" is not the women acting "ghetto" as one person below described it. Hardly. I'm not interested in the juvenile bullsh*t that comes with ghetto, and EVERY colour has them.
What concerns me is the aggro black men that seem to orbit in most circles that I've seen and I don't handle overabundance of testosterone (grandstanding or otherwise) well, and I have seen this both first hand and heard it second hand. That "baggage", for lack of a better term, tends to be a tie breaker when considering black women.
I recognize that this is the exception rather than the rule, but I've met few black women that have had me interested... though I recall a little crushing on one in my church when I was 12 (she was smart and cute). Every other black woman I've met or known either hasn't registered on the interest scale or I just don't see them like that.
I'm mixed first of all
I find it laughable that you are so clueless as to why men in general don't want black women...
Look at this: link
The plain, honest truth is that Black Women are not desirable. They have not made them selves desirable and will not listen to anyone that dare suggest they change their ways. Weight is probably the #1 issue. If they weren't all fat, then maybe a few more guys might put up with them.
Also, they act like men, for the most part. They want to act tough like a man. They flaunt themselves too much; have an inflated sense of confidence. Too much attitude. Too much drama.
This is coming from a guy that grew up around them. I've been to 4 different schools and have experienced the same thing with them over and over...same loud, obnoxious tones of voice. Same drama, same attitude, which doesn't bode well especially for girls who don't look that great to begin with. And they don't have natural hair many times, have to wear weave, which isn't a good thing...I want a girl with natural hair. Most guys do
Then after high school I worked with an all-black female staff at a Starbucks...same crap. Same stuff that they do in school, etc. Same big bellies, same attitudes to go with it
Am I saying all? I'm not saying the majority, but the overwhelming majority. Take any 10 random black girls, 9 out of 10 will be fat and have some kind of chip on their shoulder. I wish they all could be Ashanti or more like Rashida Jones, I really do. But their ego's are too big for that.
I swear this website has the same three questions over and over. Read the archives people...
To answer you, I have no idea where all these black girls who like whitey come from. I live in the most diverse city in the US and let me tell you, finding a non-African native black girl to date a white guy is impossible. Black girls seem uninterested in white guys. I only ever see black dudes with white girls. Now Latinas and Asians date whites, but not blacks or Indians.
Personally, I don't dig black girls. Just not my style. Maybe a half and half or very light skin. But the biggest thing is the culture. Can't stand when black people play the race card, think they are victims and get butthurt over nothing. Black women are the worst for being rude, loud, overweight, talk with their hand and think being "hood" is a redeeming quality. The saddest thing is black women who are well educated and can speak properly around whites but throw their intellect out the door around other blacks to "fit in".
I know not every black girls fits into the description above, but enough of them do and have ruined it for the rest of you for us white guys, especially us white guys who are professionals and upper class. Nothing says welcome to a Five Star restaurant like "Shelanda" on her celly screaming and getting mad at the waiter for "ignoring her for being black"
Oh Yeah, I could never support the leaders of the community that black people idolize such as the biggest racists and hypocrites like Al Sharpton, Obama's racist pastor, Charlie Rangel, Tookie Williams etc. No thanks.
Okay this goes back to the media and what we've been brainwashed to accept as beautiful and sexy. We've been bombarded with images all our lives, movies, commercials, shows, we are continuely being shown these images of what is "supposed" to look good. To be considered pretty or beautiful you have to either have eurocentric features or pretty close to it. Long hair, lighter skin, either blonde or brown, light colored eyes, and being thin is the "standard" beauty. We've been shown this all our lives till the point the majority believes this, notice how someone non black or black will be quicker to say beyonce or rihanna is hot rather than another other black person in the media. Why? because we've been shown their images over and over again and told over and over again they are sexy, they are beautiful ( not to say riihanna and beyonce aren't beautiful because that would be a lie) . It's more "acceptable" to date someone that would either look like beyonce or rihanna because they have "eurocentric" features.
If you don't fit the bill most likely many won't be attracted as crazy and stupid as it sounds. Media has a hold on us, like someone's comment below, babies aren't taught to be racist, children aren't racist, it's taught. Honestly I think some white guys won't approach because of stereotypes, they believe black girls are loud, obnoxious, always having an attitude, and then they don't fit the media standard, and will probably not approach. I'm not saying all white guys are like that, but I'm sure there are a lot who may feel this way. Stereotypes gets no one any where, I'm a quiet, reserved black girl, who reads everyday, who is in no way "ghetto", and shy.
Come on people this is 2010, we need to really get off these stereo types and actually get to know people.
what is up with all these desperate ass black girls on the internet pining away for white guys? stop it! I'm a black girl and your making us look bad. not all of us are white boy crazy and desperate ready for a caucasian savior to come take us away...you should have more pride in yourself because it sounds like you are desperate for a white guy... comments like the ones you have gotten makes me glad I don't like white boys. a lot of them are just not interested in black girls and most of us are not feeling them either this is america honey most people still believe in the stereotypes and apply them to all of us. why would you want to date someone like this? we are at the bottom of the social totem pole in many ppls eyes. you have people saying that we're big, aggressive and mean and loud lol its crazy. I've met girls like that of all races but we're the only ones that get generalized. most of these people probably only know like 5 black people personally so how can they generalize? just date a black man, or at least a hispanic or mixed guy
It's sad but I'm not naturally attracted to many black women. I they tend to have nose shapes that I'm not attracted to. Unfortunately that's usually where I'm looking because I enjoy looking into eyes. I'm sure it's partly cultural. I had no black kids in my school growing up so even though I may be free of intellectual racism, there's probably some societal influence.
I'm kind of in a similar situation. Two white woman that I was starting to feel attraction towards said in the past they exclusively dated black men. Both liked me and found me attractive, just not their ideal. Maybe I have an issue with pride but I couldn't date them after that.
Another interesting this is that I'm the only one out of my friends who is not attracted to Asian girls. I'm the only one who has asian blood in me. How silly is that?
My preference is blond hair and blue eyes or red hair green eyes... But I'm starting to appreciate beauty in other places. I don't want my vision so narrow. Hopefully I'm going to go on a date with a very attractive young black woman this week.
I think its because they are either afraid or intimidated by how some black women act what they see on tv thats what they think Black women look like and act like but thats not always the case im half Native American and Half Dominican but im darker and because im darker guys usually see me as black and other guys see me as native because my high cheek bones i do not act like a ghetto girl there's a difference between educated women and non educated women there's white women I've seen act ghetto too and those are the ones blac guys usually go for no disrespect to anyone but wherw i live i only see not really attractive white women with black men so i think it has to do with the judgement of others and what they would think people see a person of color with a white pperson they judge you but who cares like i was with my bf for 3 years and they would look at us like we was aliens some facial expressions were funny i just laughed like its not the norm for black or Spanish girl to be with a white guy but its the norm for a black man to be with a white girl so they rarely get any looks it can have something to do with the attraction also but for the most part its all on what you like
I think maybe in the beginning there is a little social stigma fear. However, times have changed or should I say the pendulum has swung. What I have experienced is, that it's not about love anymore, but what can he do for me, can he afford my tastes, is he going to conform, is he hangin 10? I know for myself, my concerns are similar in that, is she going to accept our differences and respect me as well? Or is it all going to be about me giving in 100% to her, is she going to hold my heart in her hand and protect it the same as I will? I know I feel that it is difficult for me to approach a black woman for fear of rejection because I may not be hip and into Jay z and Beyoncé. I don't thing the racial make up matters so much in these concerns and relationships anymore as much as mutual respect and mutual love. I know when I fall in love, I take the vows of commitment to heart and honor those with all I have. We just want the same in return...and you'll have us wrapped around your finger forever!
Creole,
Im a preppy white guy from Atlanta and I dated a black girl for quite a while before I started working abroad and honestly though my parents are what they refer to as "old atlanta money" they really did not have any problems with me dating her. She was black as pitch too but for me at least it was like any other dating experience -you know making out, dancing, lighting up, eating, seeing movies, late night parties alone together...but as far as it goes in terms of difference with "white girls" I kind of felt like she was more honest and forthcoming with me and a bit more sexually charged too but maybe that was because of the chemistry I don't know god she was so hot -I still keep in touch with her -have a feeling like we might date again sometime in the future...thats just my feeling.
See, this kind of thing always amazes me. I was born and schooled in VA. And you'd think by now, We would ALL be past a question like this. But then, you turn on the TV, or you pick up the paper, and it's like it's 1860 all over again... (long elipse).
The short answer is, I have seen my (great) share of extremely beautiful woman, of every race and color. Should this matter? Should I take this into account? If I find a woman sexy, should I disrespect her because she was not born of a certain race or creed or tribe?
The ugly truth is, we ALL suffer from prejudicial behavior of some kind or another. It's just so very sad when this has to involve love (or at-least nice asses).
I, for one, LOVE beautiful women of every (legal) age and color, regardless of status, wealth, heritage, etc. Just give me a woman with a nice, curvy, juicy ass. :)
Im probalby very late on this topic but I have experienced that all my life. Never been very attracted to black men always white, latin or Asian. Im now married to a white man who share high attraction for black women as well, we were blessed to find one another. When I was young the way I put it about not wanting to date black men was probably not the best choice but people wouldn't leave it alone and I would get frustrated make a comment that didn't sit well but crap none of their business! any who. I experienced a lot of that nonsense mostly in middle school and high school. I have wondered that too. I just feel that most white men are attracted to certain features and body that most black women dont have, but hey really nothing that can be done bout that. Slender build soft angled facial features and long hair seems to be white and Asian mens forte. I also have seen a study that Asian men and black women were least desired of all races... that is dissappointing but seems more and more men of other cultures are opening up to trying interacial dating and I think thats amazing. i know there's still tight wads that dont, but I embrace it. gosh I can go on and on but very good topic. sorry for mispellings >_<L
This is something I've been really interested in. I'm a Hispanic male and I'm attracted mostly to Hispanic and white females. Everyone now and then I'll see a black or Asian woman who is striking, but I'm just attracted to what I'm attracted to. I think there's two factors at work - 1. What you grow up around, and 2. Popular media.
The more I go the more I think that popular media portrayals of white women as the prize just kinda shapes male attraction, regardless of the male's background. If you look around - white, black, Hispanic, Asian men - they all really want white women. I'm not saying it's because white women are more beautiful. I'm saying it's because our culture - TV, movies, ads - they've taught us that certain types of features (smaller facial features, colored eyes, lighter skin) are more beautiful than others, and white women are usually the ones with those features. It goes reverse as well - white men are the most desired subgroup. Black boys and Hispanic boys grow up watching pretty white girls be the heartthrobs or the grand prize, so we end up with that notion. I'm of course very attracted to Hispanic girls because that's what I grew up around too, but yep, to answer your specific question: white guys are in general more attracted to white girls, like most guys are. This goes double for white guys though because they also grew up around white girls.
I'm not a white GUY, but as a white GIRL I can tell you that most black women seem... not to sound racist, but rather stand-offish. I'm very intimidated by them because they don't appear to ME to be as receptive or as welcoming as my "usual crowd". I have plenty of black friends, however, our friendships were only started because THEY approached ME. I realize this is really backward thinking and I'm probably just acting insecure, but black women look like can kick my butt with a remarkable amount of ease. Then again, I avoid the overly-confident "cheerleader" type white girls as well.
Im kinda on the side of being afraid off what people would say not my friends or family they can go f*** themselves I feel that with my relationship with them my opinions rank over theirs. But Id be ...i hate to say it like this...but afraid of the girls family. Its not that all black families would feel it weird their daughters dating a white boy, but the majority seem to frown apon it. But I mean it is up to me to get past this, a good impression onto them could help or something along those lines.
This is a great question, I've always felt that black girls are really sexy, I just never thought they had the same thinking towards me. I don't think there's any social 'obligation' to date a certain race (your own), but I can definitely see where many do. People are really all different and it's good to know I wasn't alone in thinking black girls are just as gorgeous as any other race.
I like black girls but It is rare to see one who dresses like a skater chick or alternative rock clothes. I don't like any girls that dress like they ghetto! I'm not that into hip hop altough I like some of it. I don't like people that can't sit still long enough to have a thought! I like black people that are into different cultures but to be honest, I don't like black culture at all! Good news you don't have to have any culture you don't want. And if you like rock music or wanna hang out with skater guys then that is black culture since you are black and it's your culture so that would be cool black culture. White peopl for the most part are not so concerned with being cool. I dated this girl who used to date black guys and she acted like everything in the world was a competition. I don't want to have to compete I just wanna chill an do my thing.
I'm a white English man and I am not exclusively attracted to any race.
The dating site OkCupid recently studied the trends of who their members chose to contact and compared their racial preferences.
Black women were more likely to respond to messages regardless of the race of the sender than any other group.
White men and women were the most popular groups to contact, but also the most likely to ignore other races.
Here's the link if anyone wants to read the full article.
link
I would imagine lack of attraction.
I personally don't know what other guys are thinking. I like girls of all ethnicities. I think black girls are especially fine because, from my limited experience, they tend to be thicker in the right places than white girls. I'm biased because I like a girl with curves; it looks healthy.
The reason I don't get up and chat one up is because (1) I'm kind of shy and introverted in person, and (2) they tend to hang out in groups of friends and it's awkward to approach them when they are with other people.
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