What stops white guys from dating black girls?

Question

I am a black female who is attracted to all races of men. I find it very interesting, though, that white men are most reluctant to date black girls. In fact, men in general are becoming more and more hesitant to court us. Why is that? Lack of attraction? Fear? Social stigmas?

Please respond :]

djteel · Accepted Answer

first,the fake hair turns a lot of guys off..they like girls with long  real hair and not frizzy/also MOST white guys  date within their own race ...that's what most of them were raised around mostly and are comfortable with.they  don't date for the sake of being diverse,they date who they're most  comfortable with...they don't decide "hey,i'm going to date somebody that's outside my own race,because it;s being diverse..they date based on appearance and who they're going to be comfortable  with dating/if they've never dated outside they're own race ,they're not likely to decide  to start dating for the sake of being diverse//that's kind of absurd really./ I've been told that I'm too narrow minded and that dating only within my race is discrimination..of course it is..if I prefer coffee over tea,i'm being discrminitory /dating only whites like myself is being disriminatory in the way of being preferential ..but not racist..Most white  males,like most blacks,asians etc,date within their own race..that's a fact/  I remind people that say it's racism or discrimination in a racist  manner to look up the words "preference","racism" and "discrimination" as they obviously don't understand the differences/many people don't date chubby or fat girls..this is preference again.. recent studies show that most people date and eventually marry within their own race//the most ridiculous thing I ever heard is that nobody should base the decision to date someone based on their appearance or looks(fat,skinny,tall,short,skin color,etc)..that's claiming nobody has the right to have preference.and that's just plain idiotic./most people don't date for the sake of being diverse..period./most people have preferences of some sort/regardless of what the media potrays(tv shows,movies and celebrity realtionships).most people date solely insidetheir own race(don't base hollywood celebrities' interracial relationships as being the typical..) most white men date within their own race,because they're white..it' s what they were raised around or with mostlymost people date within their own race/it's just that simple/no big mystery

DeadKennedy · Accepted Answer

For a lot of guys its lack of attraction, I even kno one friend who called black girls "hideos". For me though it s been opportunity and fear I guess. For one, I went to Catholic school all through grade-high school, and there weren't many black kids. I mean talking to girls is no easy task and when I didn't have time or opportunites to ease my way into getting to know any it makes things worse. I also felt really hesitant to ever approach a black girl, I always thought they would be like "what the hell are you doing?" or give me a look or something. Or I thought that black girls are looking for black guys mostly, or they might think that I wana "get street cred" by dating a black girl or something. As for social stigma I really haven't had much of a problem telling people to screw off when it comes to my decisions so I think id b fine, and I mean my family isn't really bigoted or nething. However, I worry about what her fam would b like. I mean being over for dinner or fam events could be awkward even if they were nice, And I would feel over-cautious a bout a lot of stuff. And I would worry that even if her and I were close that I wouldn't b able to relate to a lot of her friends/fam and stuff. Also the interacial-dating things goes both ways, I heard bout this guy from nj that got beat into a coma by 6 black dudes because he was dating a black girl, and I had a friend who dated a black guy and when she met the guy's dad he said "o, you coudlnt find a sister?". But after my first semester of college these past months I've been defintiely meeting a ton of people so you never know who I could end up with.

Also as for guys that say lighter skinned black girls the better (this in my mind equates being white with being considered attractive), I seriously disagree, I remember there was a haitian exchange student at my high skool and she was really dark but she seriously was one of the most gorgeous girls that I've ever seen of any race. Skin tone is def not an issue for me and probably not for a lot other guys 2.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Since when did guys (we're talking about white men here) ever worry about culture OR similar personality interests when dating women? It's a notorious pattern observed that MEN will even put UP with girls with bad personalities or incompatible matches for the sake of their attraction factor to that female (that is why you see men hooking up with an extremely attractive girl even if he has to put up with arguments, etc). And if the men usually don't find you attractive, they will use your personality as an excuse (oh, she doesn't have similar cultural values to me , or she's too loud of a person...). that's my opinion. When it comes to men satisfying the call of their 'down unders' , they could care less about your cultural values, personalities...

So all these excuses of not liking black women centering around her personality traits sound like a way to get off (dancing around the corner). We all know that most men just at the end of the day want to have sex and sexual stimuli are rather looks driven so I'd think they'd choose women based on their looks for the most part... so don't write off black women because of their 'personality' traits because you never really looked at personality traits in the first place if you get what I'm trying to say; it's just an excuse and I wouldn't be readily to believe that as a reason to not approach women. ALSO saying you are afraid----if most men were so intimidated as to approach girls you wouldn't see that many men with 10s now would you? You'd think men would be REALLY intimidated of rejection from a girl that is out of their league, but I have seen a lot of average men hooking up with 10s, so the 'fear' of rejection approaching black women is questionnable in my mind.. not saying it could possibly be the reason, but I'd like to consider a perspective...

wildfire5288 · Accepted Answer

A lot of white guys assume black girls want black guys and black guys only which isn't necessarily true. I'm black and I've always been more attracted to white guys, my friends are absolutely amazed on the rare occasion when I see a black guy and go, "Oh he's cute." But I've always been more attracted to white guys, couldn't tell you why. In pre-school I used to run around with some little blonde hair blue eyed boy and we'd tell people we were going to get married.

Some white guys also assume that most black girls will act "ghetto" which isn't at all true. Then there's also the fear of random black guys getting mad for white guys dating "their women." The fear of meeting a black girls family can be in there too. With interracial relationships there's always the fear of people saying something but really your relationship is really none of their business.

But it's not just the guys who'll wind up with rude comments it's the girls too. When I tell people I'm more attracted to white guys than black guys I've heard everything from, "What, you think you're too good to date a black guy," to being told that I'm a traitor to my race which is absolutely ridiculous. Some people ask me if it's just "ghetto" black guys that I don't like and are amazed when I tell them no. I know plenty of well educated black men and I just don't find them attractive, I'm just way more attracted to white guys than I am black guys, it's as simple as that

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Social stigmas. You've watched TV lately right? It's a common fact that the general portrayal of the average black person in the media is not a good thing.

Culture differences could be one. A black girl that is "whitewashed" wears A&F and acts white would be more likely to get a white boyfriend than a around the way girl from the hood. People usually date those they have things in common with. If they look at you and you fit a different image than they do, they are less likely to get to know you

It may be 2010 but racism is still here. Jim Crow racism is pretty much dead but there are those who still have stereotypical views and think of themselves as superior. If not that particular guy, then maybe his family and peers would frown on it

Some are not attracted to black girls. Usually in most cases, most people are attracted to others with features similar to their own.

Also some can fear the reactions of HER peers...maybe like a Romeo and Juliet thing. I remember I was talking to this white guy a couple years ago, we were pretty good friends and had a lot in common...we almost went out but one of my friends had a problem with it. He saw us talking and actually came up to him and picked a fight with him.. and a lot of other stuff happened after that so that pretty much ruined things..(goes back to the race thing, he is a black guy but doesn't like to see white boys date black girls)

Mike3456 · Answer

There's NOTHING I find sexier/more attractive than a healthy, beautiful black woman. Always have and always will. When a woman like that even engages in conversation with me my legs start to feel like jello lol. and I'm as white as they may come too; Blue eyed, bearded, tattooed, boot wearing, rock music jamming, outdoors loving, motorcycle riding, gun owning, God fearing goofball. To me it's all about intimidation. I've been through a lot in my life but still the most intimidating thing to me is a beautiful strong black woman. I want to say because they are (to me) superior on so many levels compared to other types of women, but I have never dated one so I can't say for sure, that's just my speculation. But I honestly believe what stops me, it is the fear of such a cultural gap. What do I talk about? Will I share anything in common? Can I make her laugh? Or Will she laugh at me because I like things she may think are so far out or dumb or "white".. it could be anything that one may fear that the other does not have in common- types of music, types of food, sports or hobbies, traditions, upbringings, ideals on parenting or life itself. and even things that turn me on, could be something that she would reject me on. I guess what has always stopped me is the fear that I'm too different. Or just weird. It's crazy because I'm really not scared of much and I love things that are different. Maybe because it's something I've wanted so bad that the rejection of not being able to be with "her" is worst than just not knowing. I literally daydream about it quite often. And if people stare or give hard time? Make out right in front of them. A family member or friend doesn't approve? Cut them right out of my life. I'm not scared of any of that. Just the thought of maybe I'm too different. Or maybe I can start a relationship but then it might fall apart because I'm too different. That "she" may not take me seriously.
i guess I just need to man up and try. Because I'm tired of not knowing lol

Bvroon · Answer

I think that beautiful women come in all colors, shapes and sizes, as I have no major race issues. I must admit though I had an African American woman pursuing me some time back when I was in the service as she often commented on my fat behind, which she always said was a compliment and that she would really like to be with me. I didn't have a problem with this and was always friendly with her. However when we were supposed to "hook up" as it were I didn't do anything, not because I didn't like her, but because at the time I was still a virgin and was rather worried that my "junk" wouldn't be big enough for her or that I wouldn't please her, so this was more a confidence issue on my part than a racial issue. I feel today though that were I single again and an African American woman were to pursue me again I would be more confident than before and I would be a little more assertive, not because my dimensions have changed from before, but I have a little more experience and believe it is more how I treat a woman than how big or small my parts are. I hope this makes sense and that it isn't offensive to anyone, I'm just being honest.

tongakid · Answer

On the average, I'm not attracted to black women. That being said, I've known attractive black women, two where I work both of which married = not interested. Now that I think of it, a friend has this absolutely STUNNING friend, so cute it's almost difficult to look at her (yes, it's possible to be that cute)...

My "hangup" is not the women acting "ghetto" as one person below described it. Hardly. I'm not interested in the juvenile bullsh*t that comes with ghetto, and EVERY colour has them.

What concerns me is the aggro black men that seem to orbit in most circles that I've seen and I don't handle overabundance of testosterone (grandstanding or otherwise) well, and I have seen this both first hand and heard it second hand. That "baggage", for lack of a better term, tends to be a tie breaker when considering black women.

I recognize that this is the exception rather than the rule, but I've met few black women that have had me interested... though I recall a little crushing on one in my church when I was 12 (she was smart and cute). Every other black woman I've met or known either hasn't registered on the interest scale or I just don't see them like that.

Lockjawx27 · Answer

I'm mixed first of all

I find it laughable that you are so clueless as to why men in general don't want black women...

Look at this: link

The plain, honest truth is that Black Women are not desirable. They have not made them selves desirable and will not listen to anyone that dare suggest they change their ways. Weight is probably the #1 issue. If they weren't all fat, then maybe a few more guys might put up with them.

Also, they act like men, for the most part. They want to act tough like a man. They flaunt themselves too much; have an inflated sense of confidence. Too much attitude. Too much drama.

This is coming from a guy that grew up around them. I've been to 4 different schools and have experienced the same thing with them over and over...same loud, obnoxious tones of voice. Same drama, same attitude, which doesn't bode well especially for girls who don't look that great to begin with. And they don't have natural hair many times, have to wear weave, which isn't a good thing...I want a girl with natural hair. Most guys do

Then after high school I worked with an all-black female staff at a Starbucks...same crap. Same stuff that they do in school, etc. Same big bellies, same attitudes to go with it

Am I saying all? I'm not saying the majority, but the overwhelming majority. Take any 10 random black girls, 9 out of 10 will be fat and have some kind of chip on their shoulder. I wish they all could be Ashanti or more like Rashida Jones, I really do. But their ego's are too big for that.

Anonymous · Answer

I swear this website has the same three questions over and over. Read the archives people...

To answer you, I have no idea where all these black girls who like whitey come from. I live in the most diverse city in the US and let me tell you, finding a non-African native black girl to date a white guy is impossible. Black girls seem uninterested in white guys. I only ever see black dudes with white girls. Now Latinas and Asians date whites, but not blacks or Indians.

Personally, I don't dig black girls. Just not my style. Maybe a half and half or very light skin. But the biggest thing is the culture. Can't stand when black people play the race card, think they are victims and get butthurt over nothing. Black women are the worst for being rude, loud, overweight, talk with their hand and think being "hood" is a redeeming quality. The saddest thing is black women who are well educated and can speak properly around whites but throw their intellect out the door around other blacks to "fit in".

I know not every black girls fits into the description above, but enough of them do and have ruined it for the rest of you for us white guys, especially us white guys who are professionals and upper class. Nothing says welcome to a Five Star restaurant like "Shelanda" on her celly screaming and getting mad at the waiter for "ignoring her for being black"

Oh Yeah, I could never support the leaders of the community that black people idolize such as the biggest racists and hypocrites like Al Sharpton, Obama's racist pastor, Charlie Rangel, Tookie Williams etc. No thanks.

Leigh2011 · Answer

Okay this goes back to the media and what we've been brainwashed to accept as beautiful and sexy. We've been bombarded with images all our lives, movies, commercials, shows, we are continuely being shown these images of what is "supposed" to look good. To be considered pretty or beautiful you have to either have eurocentric features or pretty close to it. Long hair, lighter skin, either blonde or brown, light colored eyes, and being thin is the "standard" beauty. We've been shown this all our lives till the point the majority believes this, notice how someone non black or black will be quicker to say beyonce or rihanna is hot rather than another other black person in the media. Why? because we've been shown their images over and over again and told over and over again they are sexy, they are beautiful ( not to say riihanna and beyonce aren't beautiful because that would be a lie) . It's more "acceptable" to date someone that would either look like beyonce or rihanna because they have "eurocentric" features.

If you don't fit the bill most likely many won't be attracted as crazy and stupid as it sounds. Media has a hold on us, like someone's comment below, babies aren't taught to be racist, children aren't racist, it's taught. Honestly I think some white guys won't approach because of stereotypes, they believe black girls are loud, obnoxious, always having an attitude, and then they don't fit the media standard, and will probably not approach. I'm not saying all white guys are like that, but I'm sure there are a lot who may feel this way. Stereotypes gets no one any where, I'm a quiet, reserved black girl, who reads everyday, who is in no way "ghetto", and shy.

Come on people this is 2010, we need to really get off these stereo types and actually get to know people.

Anonymous · Answer

what is up with all these desperate ass black girls on the internet pining away for white guys? stop it! I'm a black girl and your making us look bad. not all of us are white boy crazy and desperate ready for a caucasian savior to come take us away...you should have more pride in yourself because it sounds like you are desperate for a white guy... comments like the ones you have gotten makes me glad I don't like white boys. a lot of them are just not interested in black girls and most of us are not feeling them either this is america honey most people still believe in the stereotypes and apply them to all of us. why would you want to date someone like this? we are at the bottom of the social totem pole in many ppls eyes. you have people saying that we're big, aggressive and mean and loud lol its crazy. I've met girls like that of all races but we're the only ones that get generalized.  most of these people probably only know like 5 black people personally so how can they generalize? just date a black man, or at least a hispanic or mixed guy

revraidon · Answer

It's sad but I'm not naturally attracted to many black women. I they tend to have nose shapes that I'm not attracted to. Unfortunately that's usually where I'm looking because I enjoy looking into eyes. I'm sure it's partly cultural. I had no black kids in my school growing up so even though I may be free of intellectual racism, there's probably some societal influence.

I'm kind of in a similar situation. Two white woman that I was starting to feel attraction towards said in the past they exclusively dated black men. Both liked me and found me attractive, just not their ideal. Maybe I have an issue with pride but I couldn't date them after that.

Another interesting this is that I'm the only one out of my friends who is not attracted to Asian girls. I'm the only one who has asian blood in me. How silly is that?

My preference is blond hair and blue eyes or red hair green eyes... But I'm starting to appreciate beauty in other places. I don't want my vision so narrow. Hopefully I'm going to go on a date with a very attractive young black woman this week.

xstarx92 · Answer

I think its because they are either afraid or intimidated by how some black women act what they see on tv thats what they think Black women look like and act like but thats not always the case im half Native American and Half Dominican but im darker and because im darker guys usually see me as black and other guys see me as native because my high cheek bones i do not act like a ghetto girl there's a difference between educated women and non educated women there's white women I've seen act ghetto too and those are the ones blac guys usually go for no disrespect to anyone but wherw i live i only see not really attractive white women with black men so i think it has to do with the judgement of others and what they would think people see a person of color with a white pperson they judge you but who cares like i was with my bf for 3 years and they would look at us like we was aliens some facial expressions were funny i just laughed like its not the norm for black or Spanish girl to be with a white guy but its the norm for a black man to be with a white girl so they rarely get any looks it can have something to do with the attraction also but for the most part its all on what you like

Chris9471 · Answer

I think maybe in the beginning there is a little social stigma fear.  However, times have changed or should I say the pendulum has swung.  What I have experienced is, that it's not about love anymore, but what can he do for me, can he afford my tastes, is he going to conform,  is he hangin 10?  I know for myself, my concerns are similar in that, is she going to accept our differences and respect me as well?  Or is it all going to be about me giving in 100% to her, is she going to hold my heart in her hand and protect  it the same as I will?  I know I feel that it is difficult for me to approach a black woman for fear of rejection because I may not be hip and into Jay z and Beyoncé.  I don't thing the racial make up matters so much in these concerns and relationships anymore as much as mutual respect and mutual love.  I know when I fall in love, I take the vows of commitment to heart and honor those with all I have.  We just want the same in return...and you'll have us wrapped around your finger forever!

guypatrick · Answer

Creole,

Im a preppy white guy from Atlanta and I dated a black girl for quite a while before I started working abroad and honestly though my parents are what they refer to as "old atlanta money" they really did not have any problems with me dating her. She was black as pitch too but for me at least it was like any other dating experience -you know making out, dancing, lighting up, eating, seeing movies, late night parties alone together...but as far as it goes in terms of difference with "white girls" I kind of felt like she was more honest and forthcoming with me and a bit more sexually charged too but maybe that was because of the chemistry I don't know god she was so hot -I still keep in touch with her -have a feeling like we might date again sometime in the future...thats just my feeling.

Married-in-PA · Answer

See, this kind of thing always amazes me. I was born and schooled in VA. And you'd think by now, We would ALL be past a question like this. But then, you turn on the TV, or you pick up the paper, and it's like it's 1860 all over again... (long elipse).

The short answer is, I have seen my (great) share of extremely beautiful woman, of every race and color. Should this matter? Should I take this into account? If I find a woman sexy, should I disrespect her because she was not born of a certain race or creed or tribe?

The ugly truth is, we ALL suffer from prejudicial behavior of some kind or another. It's just so very sad when this has to involve love (or at-least nice asses).

I, for one, LOVE beautiful women of every (legal) age and color, regardless of status, wealth, heritage, etc. Just give me a woman with a nice, curvy, juicy ass. :)

Anonymous · Answer

Im probalby very late on this topic but I have experienced that all my life. Never been very attracted to black men always white, latin or Asian. Im now married to a white man who share high attraction for black women as well, we were blessed to find one another. When I was young the way I put it about not wanting to date black men was probably not the best choice but people wouldn't leave it alone and I would get frustrated make a comment that didn't sit well but crap none of their business! any who. I experienced a lot of that nonsense mostly in middle school and high school. I have wondered that too. I just feel that most white men are attracted to certain features and body that most black women dont have, but hey really nothing that can be done bout that. Slender build soft angled facial features and long hair seems to be white and Asian mens forte. I also have seen a study that Asian men and black women were least desired of all races... that is dissappointing but seems more and more men of other cultures are opening up to trying interacial dating and I think thats amazing. i know there's still tight wads that dont, but I embrace it. gosh I can go on and on but very good topic. sorry for mispellings >_<L

Anonymous · Answer

This is something I've been really interested in. I'm a Hispanic male and I'm attracted mostly to Hispanic and white females. Everyone now and then I'll see a black or Asian woman who is striking, but I'm just attracted to what I'm attracted to. I think there's two factors at work - 1. What you grow up around, and 2. Popular media.

The more I go the more I think that popular media portrayals of white women as the prize just kinda shapes male attraction, regardless of the male's background. If you look around - white, black, Hispanic, Asian men - they all really want white women. I'm not saying it's because white women are more beautiful. I'm saying it's because our culture - TV, movies, ads - they've taught us that certain types of features (smaller facial features, colored eyes, lighter skin) are more beautiful than others, and white women are usually the ones with those features. It goes reverse as well - white men are the most desired subgroup. Black boys and Hispanic boys grow up watching pretty white girls be the heartthrobs or the grand prize, so we end up with that notion. I'm of course very attracted to Hispanic girls because that's what I grew up around too, but yep, to answer your specific question: white guys are in general more attracted to white girls, like most guys are. This goes double for white guys though because they also grew up around white girls.

Elysia · Answer

I'm not a white GUY, but as a white GIRL I can tell you that most black women seem... not to sound racist, but rather stand-offish. I'm very intimidated by them because they don't appear to ME to be as receptive or as welcoming as my "usual crowd". I have plenty of black friends, however, our friendships were only started because THEY approached ME. I realize this is really backward thinking and I'm probably just acting insecure, but black women look like can kick my butt with a remarkable amount of ease. Then again, I avoid the overly-confident "cheerleader" type white girls as well.

liltyty · Answer

Im kinda on the side of being afraid off what people would say not my friends or family they can go f*** themselves I feel that with my relationship with them my opinions rank over theirs. But Id be ...i hate to say it like this...but afraid of the girls family. Its not that all black families would feel it weird their daughters dating a white boy, but the majority seem to frown apon it. But I mean it is up to me to get past this, a good impression onto them could help or something along those lines.

papasmurf · Answer

This is a great question, I've always felt that black girls are really sexy, I just never thought they had the same thinking towards me. I don't think there's any social 'obligation' to date a certain race (your own), but I can definitely see where many do. People are really all different and it's good to know I wasn't alone in thinking black girls are just as gorgeous as any other race.

Meaniehead · Answer

I like black girls but It is rare to see one who dresses like a skater chick or alternative rock clothes. I don't like any girls that dress like they ghetto! I'm not that into hip hop altough I like some of it. I don't like people that can't sit still long enough to have a thought! I like black people that are into different cultures but to be honest, I don't like black culture at all! Good news you don't have to have any culture you don't want. And if you like rock music or wanna hang out with skater guys then that is black culture since you are black and it's your culture so that would be cool black culture. White peopl for the most part are not so concerned with being cool. I dated this girl who used to date black guys and she acted like everything in the world was a competition. I don't want to have to compete I just wanna chill an do my thing.

gakewa · Answer

I'm a white English man and I am not exclusively attracted to any race.

The dating site OkCupid recently studied the trends of who their members chose to contact and compared their racial preferences.

Black women were more likely to respond to messages regardless of the race of the sender than any other group.

White men and women were the most popular groups to contact, but also the most likely to ignore other races.

Here's the link if anyone wants to read the full article.

link

blueandwhitebleeder · Answer

I would imagine lack of attraction.

I personally don't know what other guys are thinking. I like girls of all ethnicities. I think black girls are especially fine because, from my limited experience, they tend to be thicker in the right places than white girls. I'm biased because I like a girl with curves; it looks healthy.

The reason I don't get up and chat one up is because (1) I'm kind of shy and introverted in person, and (2) they tend to hang out in groups of friends and it's awkward to approach them when they are with other people.

ihatecopcars · Answer

Well I would break it down into a few things:

Her family may not accept the fact that I am white.

My family (extended) may act sort of weird about it and I wouldn't want things to be awkward for her.

I tend to be sort of old fashioned and calm while black females have a reputation for being pretty outgoing and vociferous.

Granted I am stereotyping but so are you by asking this question. So in closing, your average run of the mill black chick just wouldn't be that compatible but say a more reserved one that doesn't dress and talk hood with a good friendly family would be more appealing because that is generally what I look for in a female anyway!

onedeerantler · Answer

i have a black friend who also questions this. she said she really likes this one white guy. in a group chat, he said that he would date any race or creed but when it came to her asking him out he said, I'm not into u.  the next day I asked him why didn't you say yes? he said because she is black and she is too big I'm afraid of her. I figured its cus she's a tall strong girl(she played on a male football team in high school)  a lot of white guys are afraid of big girls.  guys want to protect someone then someone protecting them. as hard as it is to say this but if my friend was a lot smaller girl this guy would have went for her, I have noticed that a lot of black girls are tall or heavier then a white, Hispanic or any other race. I don't kno how much you way for your body type but a lot of guys like to hold someone and not be held

Jasper5566 · Answer

wooooh.. Asian guys are the wost? I wonder.. could you please elaborate or give me the site so I can read it.. I'm just curious and a little bit stunned with what you post..

anyways, I believe it matters to one's perception about beauty... as they say," beauty is in the eye of the beholder.".. some will say "black women is a big no no!" and some will say ." wooooh.. Black ladies are definitely HOT".. it really doesn't matter at all because it all depends on how you see beauty,..

if you read the answers in your question everyone gave different opinion about beauty. and if you just sum it all up, it ends up in saying that every one of us has their own perception how beauty is..

because of strong influence of the norms in our society or in tv, commercials, and the people we are with(race), helps develop how we see the beauty of one person...

GoodManDave · Answer

Perhaps it's not as much an issue of black or white, but other factors? If you're a really great person, some guys may just be intimidated by that. They may assume you have a boyfriend. You may just be bad at flirting. You might not be aware of how guys flirt and you send off a different vibe, it could be that your look isn't working for you, you could be an extreme pessimist, you may be a nasty cruel hearted girl, it could be that you're just so busy that a guy can recognize it and not want to date you because you're too busy for a relationship - I don't know. Point is to just be aware that there could be so many things other than race that can affect how the dating life goes.

You could be right, though - it could be a race issue where you live, but I know that around me at least, there doesn't seem to be any problems with "interracial dating."

I seem to be just as ugly to black girls as I am to the white girls, so ANY dating tends to be pretty limited for me. Lol.

Itsme1185 · Answer

I think it depends on where you grow up!  I grew up in the ninth ward in New Orleans.  I was like one of 3 white kids in my school.  I went to several dances and dates with black girls.  I see no problem with it.  My sister is with a black guy.  I really think its the society that you grow up in.

Anonymous · Answer

Why do we need to analyze this? You like who you like and that's it period! It doesn't make you racist and it doesn't make you a bad person. What it may do is limit the opportunity for meeting someone truly special. But oh well...we live and learn. I've dated all kinds of women what they had in common was they were pretty, respectful, smart and could make me laugh. Black, white, asian, latinas it never mattered to me. Of course it may be because I've grown up in a very multicultural environment that allows me to see PEOPLE not ethnicities.

Kelsey_3 · Answer

I go to a community college and I notice this a lot too...

I think its just a social stigma. White men think that they have to act like the black men that they see on TV if they are going to date a black woman.

I am a white female and I am dating a dominican/black mixed male. I never saw the color of his skin as being a problem, and I knew that my family would respect whoever I choose. I think that most white household families are not okay with the whole situation, so the men feel pressured not to bring a black woman home.

Rubybubzz · Answer

half these things the guys are saying are not true, I'm a black women and I'm very attrated to white guys but I'm not rude,loud,ignorent or any of that stuff it actually takes me a while to truly get close to a guy any race of guy,but I also lived in australia for most of my life but before any of you stereotype its a good country(and I'm not aboriginal..lol)and not a lot of white guys approach me .i realllly don't like the way some black guys are just so upfront with their comments it does kind of suprize me but seriously guys approach a black women sometimes you might be suprised by her response :)

zuvqwyx · Answer

Blaccent? Brothers? Jerry Springer?

No.

I disagree with your impression, and I find it to be exactly opposite of my own. All the issues you brought up are archaic, and they are melting, eroding, fading away. Though the old curses still retain some power, interracial romance has never been more popular, and it only grows.

What you really want to know, I suspect, is why YOU are single. So stop lying to the world and to yourself, and REFUSE to shelter your ego by taking refuge in a stereotype. It's a non-constructive mindset. You know those guys who ask girls out, get rejected, and say "must be a lesbian"? That's an analogous thought process at work. A guy who doesn't like you, most of the time, just happens to not like YOU, or else is subject to any of 600 different issues that have little to do with race.

Sorry for being such a brutal bastard about it. I hope that doesn't stop you from taking my response seriously. Good luck, Creolebby, and good love.

Oddjob · Answer

I've dated black girls. There are some I find attractive and others I don't... for a number of reasons.

I'm not partial to really kinky hair on girls - whether they're redheads from Scotland or brunettes from Cameroon.

I don't prefer coarse facial features on a girl - whether she's from Estonia, Italy or the Congo delta.

It is the same with girls of each ethnic background and every conceivable combination.

I'm sure women have the same sets of personal preferences and that they vary broadly person to person.

Each person has their own baggage. I don't think there's a universal explanation for the phenomenon you perceive.

Anonymous · Answer

Na it is more that black GUYS seem to like black and white girls but black GIRLS only seem to like black guys. Don't know if that's true but its just the impression I get like if black girls are in a group in a club I would probably not approach them and just think they won't be interested becoz I'm white. And also you hardly ever see a White guy with a black girlfriend. I don't know maybe its us white guys fault for thinkin black girls won't be interested and not trying it on?! I don't think that white guys don't like black girls though all my white friends like black girls. Also I never checked where ur from I'm from england so things mite be different here to america etc. etc.

Dyreath · Answer

It's simple, men are attracted to what stimulated them as young developing adults. Mostly what they've seen on TV or in magazines. Those physical images that got them off then, gets them off now. Most of the more popular pornography in the United States involves white women. That's just how it goes. It has nothing to do with you as a person or whether or not you're attractive, or other black girls in general.

In the interest of full disclosure. I'm a white male, and I've never been involved in a romantic relationship with any other ethnicity than white.

jeeperss · Answer

i think that a lot of white males might find the stereotypical (loud, in your face, whatever else falls under there) black female intimidating and too much of a hassle, so they just stay away from all in general. obviously the stereotype doesn't apply to all, but I've seen this sort of question several times on this site now and a lot of answers always come back to the stereotype, with guys saying, "if she doesn't fit the stereotype and is nice and calm and etcetc, I would like to get to know her better"

decisive_raccoon · Answer

Personally, it has nothing to do with the fact that a girl is black (or any other race for that matter). It just has to do with rather or not I find them attractive or not. I have seen many, many smoking hot black chicks that put your typical white blond girl to shame.

I just think that on the average, since you don't really see all that many white guys with black chicks, that there may be a...how do I phrase this, a 'there's no way she would date a white guy' syndrome. I mean, you don't really see all that many black girls going after white, asian, middle eastern, etc. guys...at least not as much as you would see a white girl with a black guy (on the average). But, if I came across a black girl that I liked and she liked me then I would absolutely date her.

shadley12345 · Answer

Couple thoughts:

media white men see is mostly a certain type of white woman. So not just black, but size, and such.

Intimidation - women tend to be more free thinking, and have less peer pressure. Also may get more support form friends when they date a litle different than they have in past. I think the culture may be intimidating as well.

Things tend to go in runs. Like older guys with younger women, but not younger guys with older women. That seems to have changed quite a bit. I assume you will see that change as well. Awful lot of beautiful black women I have caught myself checking out when Girlfriend not looking. :)

Anonymous · Answer

Looks like a lot of people think all black people behave like American, black people from different cultural background, different homes and different environments. the fact that some black people from some part of the world like a popular country like america, have some kinda stereotypes means all blacks in general. I am an African girl and get very offended by some of this rude ass comments towards black females. in Africa and other part of the world this false accusation some people are saying doesn't exist at all, next time when saying something unpleasant about black females, remember not only black Americans females exist in the entire word, there are other black females In other parts of the world who are innocent about this so called stereotypes existing in america thanks

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, I have a thing for a black girl I know but she only likes black guys (so many bad boyfriends and I'd treat her like a queen... at least, a queen on a limited budget) anyway, maybe it's not your race, have you tried examining your approach? seeing what shape you are in? and maybe if you find a nice guy who treats girls well and is single, just come out and ask him out, you'd be AMAZED how many guys are good, honest, caring, demons in the sack etc... but are just too shy to come out with it.

Anonymous · Answer

the biggest draw back to me about black women and I know I shouldnt think this way is the stereo typical ghetto girl. I can't stand when they start snapping their fingers and talk so loud you can hear them down the street. I know not all are like that, but it has go to be the biggest thing that will always keep me from dating a black girl. also latin girls are in the almost there category, they are almost too loud for me as well I'm a calm chill laid back kinda guy so the quiet but still fun white girls and Asian girls are the top for me

Anonymous · Answer

I think physical attraction, which is the first attraction a guy has for you, is something that is just inside of you from an early age and it isn't thought out or logical.  I personally like certain odd little physical qualities because I connect them to guys who once had a crush on me.  For instance, my last boyfriend shaved his head and though I have no interest in being with him, I notice that when I see a shaved head it triggers this sense of attraction, though I can later talk to the guy and feel nothing.

martyfellow · Answer

For one thing, it's quite dangerous since many black men won't tolerate us making a move on 'their' women. Of course, no one ever objects to them flirting with Caucasian women because then we'd be racist, etc., But of course they're not racist, just ask them, they'll tell you.

Secondly, most of them, like their role models among wealthy Caucasian women, are simply for sale, and that's not really very attractive unless you're into that scene.

Anonymous · Answer

Most people on here that refer to black women as loud, agressive etc. need to meet some of the sisters I know. They're educated strong beautiful women. What people don't understand is that women like this exist. I think its because they watch to much TV and live in segregated neighborhoods.

Anonymous · Answer

Different guys have different ideas of what they find attractive in a woman.  I knew a white guy who would only date Black women, which kind of made it funny because I only dated Asian or Hispanic women and generally when guys, especially White guys would see us walk in a restaurant or club on a double date, they would automatically assume that his date (the Black woman) would be my date and my date (the Asian woman) would be his date.  You should see the amount of white guys who would drop their jaws in disbelief one New Years Eve party we attended.  Furthermore, it seems that they were not happy about the situation and would have preferred it to be that I was with his date and not with mine.

Maff30000000 · Answer

Wow ...as a white guy I never thought black girls were too interested. I think most white guys think the same. I did date a black girl for a few months at uni and I noticed that every black guy that passed us would suck his teeth. I took this as an offer of friendship.

Anyway black girls are the most sexy in the world...maybe even the universe?!

funny222 · Answer

I know this is an old post, but I just have to respond.

Black girls generally don't take well to compliments about their curvatures. Say something about their big beautiful butt and they'll slap you.

Too hostile, too aggressive, by nature it seems. Not a whole lot of ladylike civility in a woman who responds to a compliment in such a way.

ArizonaRX · Answer

I'd like to answer a question with a question.

Why do so many black women get so offended when a Black Man is interested or is dating a white woman? Seriously think about it, it might answer your question.

Answer: Perhaps white men are on your side?

Ohdang · Answer

Out of all honesty, I'm not trying to be offensive or anything and I'm not saying this is true in every case But my dad is white and 52 years old and he grew up around a lot of racial crap. And he wouldn't not allow me to date a black guy but he more than likely would not approve of it and also I would never hear the end of it. I think a lot of it is stereotypical stuff and I  personally would want to go out with a few cute black guys but I don't think my family or friends would ever approve of it and I don't want to dissapoint them.  Even though blacks and whites all equal now there is still A lot of racism, and there always will be.

jack4567 · Answer

it's the hair. I've talked about it before with my friends, the skin is fine, but the hair just is never as soft or smooth, unless they take REALLY good care of it.

biracial girls, though, I find to be the best of both worlds, so if you marry a white man you'll probably have some beautiful children :)

Crazycanuck · Answer

Negative sterotypes are one major key factor, a t of white guys usally think that black girls aren't attracted to them...thirdly they worry what other People (ie Friends, families, other black guys...ect) will think. Its a load of bullcrap but its the truth. Personally if I met a black girl that I"m attracted to and Compatable with I would harsh date her...and give anyone who has anything to say about it the finger...because its my relationship not theirs..

Hughman · Answer

Because I find few black girls physically attractive.

And the few I meet that I would fancy speak as though they are from the 'ghetto' and/or have major attitude problems, even though they have come from nice families and are intelligent.

I'm sure there are plenty of intelligent and beautiful black girls, it's just I'm yet to meet one.

Cocoabutta · Answer

well from what I found out from other white guys on here is that they don't kno how to approach black girls, because they dnt kno how we're gonna react - whether we'll insult them, be shockd or if we'll act completely normal. I was askin myself the same question cause I'm into white guys but never been approached by 1 - now I kno why =) dnt kno if thas helpd

setcheck67 · Answer

Biologically black people as a whole are more masculine(reason why black men are more attractive to other races of women). White/Spanish people are an in between and Asian people are generally feminine. Most men want feminine women and as a result stay clear of black girls. In either case I'm one of the uncommon ones that actually finds black women to be extremely attractive. I also date them(despite EXTREME disgust and rejection from my family) and my first girlfriend was black.

jondogg1985 · Answer

Not me, I am in the same boat you are, I'm attracted to all types of girls. While I will always believe that girls are more shallow than guys, I think that yes fear is involved with some guys. I am not tho, I don't care what people think of who I'm dating if I like her that's all that matters.

Toumai · Answer

I'm a white guy, and I have absolutely no problem with dating a girl from any ethnicity. My first love was black, actually.

TheGeorge · Answer

I do find many black girls attractive and would consider dating them. But the type of black girls that I find attractive is not the same type that most black guys find attractive I think. I really hate a big booty and too large breasts. And I don't like their hair sometimes, anything Rasta hairstyle for example. And I like fit girls no matter their race. Maybe you don't fit into that category who knows.

muzeasd · Answer

There are girls that I find attractive like beyonce (well most of people assume her to be black) and the actress in Cradle to the Grave (Jet Li starer). The girl in Mission impossible 2 was not that bad. So I think black women are not that ...u know. A better care of yoursef will improve the things for you, I think.

DumbDates · Answer

I think fear and social stigmas is at the top of the list. It is much more excepted if your families and friends are OK with your dating choices. The city you live in also has a big play in it. I live in Seattle and international dating is common here. I have been dating black men for 20 years and hence my son (34) loves black women and has even been in a long term relationship with a girl that I love and feel is a very good person. So don't blame the men you just haven't found the right one.

Good Luck!

Trudy

www.DumbDates.com

cjwright79 · Answer

Nothing. I love black girls and that's all there damn well is to it!

phallus · Answer

I find black women attractive and I will approach and be nice to black women.

BUT

it is difficult to relate to black women, I think it has something to do with education and culture. For instance last year I was fooling around with an african girl, and whenever I told her about my life and what my day was like or my interests she could not understand it. Its a shame the education system down there is so bad.

Anonymous · Answer

i assume she likes black guys, who are very manly or hard gangsters.

i will also assume whether or not she fits the stereotype by how she dresses, unless I already know her better. I am just so repulsed by the personality of the stereotypical black female that I want to avoid it at all costs. it's such a shame because I find that black women have a kind of beauty that is unique to them and them alone.

ihadadream · Answer

Lots of white guys love black women. I think Black women are very hot and super sexy. Some white guys do like black girls but may be hesitant of rejection. Other white guys have other silly reasons for hesitation but if you just talk to them, A white guy will melt in your arms. I don't think it has to do with lack of attraction or any sorta stigmas but fear of rejection may be on the list.

What stops white guys from dating black girls?

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