Have you ever pushed a boy away because you were afraid of getting close to him? (Page 2)
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I'm actually in a relationship where I seem to be pushing this incredibly beautiful man away. I mean my absolute dream guy. Its so stupid really. It has to be abandonment issues. Like clockwork, I push away all of my boyfriends away when I see or feel even the slightest bit of the "honey moon phase" fading a little. I know it's stupid, but it's almost like I can't help myself. So I start to be distant. Then they feel as if they did something wrong. The classic case of push and pull. I hate it, but it never fails to happen in all of my relationships. In conclusion, my cold and emotionally distant behavior ironically leads to what I fear the most. YEP. Stupid.
I've done it before but guess what the guy shouldn't get all butt hurt just because a girl is afraid to get close they should just take it as maybe they need to go down to a little bit more of a personal level.because obviously they haven't reached it yet to where she feels comfortable getting close
Oh, I almost always will. It's really freaking horrible.
I go through a lot and start to like a guy, and we go out a few times, and then I'm suddenly not interested. I don't know if it's a commitment thing, but I suddenly start to feel sick and horrible around them, and have to call it off. It sucks, because then the guys never understand what I mean by how I feel and instantly write me off as just a freaking player. It's absolutely the worst.
I'm terrified of getting hurt by guys...it's happened to me countless times before when I got really attached to a guy then they wind up being a total a*shole because I won't have sex with them asap.
Sucks, but hey...that's how guys are I guess :/
I'll find a good one eventually...haha
When a guy gets close I always end up pushing him away.. To keep it short.
low self esteem.. I know a lot of people are diagnosed with it but.. For me it feels like a mental illness...
"If I can't stand myself, how could he?"
I uncontrollably tell myself
" I don't deserve it"
I feel like I don't deserve it. like I should keep to myself and not get involved.
" Pushing him away is for the better"
"He doesn't like me anyways, why would he?"
"He deserves better"
"Why pick me, they're prettier"
"I don't deserve love"
..
No regrets.
They always find someone better.
I always push guys away and I don't really understand why which annoys me. I will like a guy loads but then as soon as I find out he likes me I feel all panicked and avoid them completely. There was this guy I liked more than any others and he told me he liked me yet I always told him I didn't like him and he flirted with me for like 3 months because we were both living at my cousins, I moved out awhile back and I regret not telling him however I know if I did see him now I still wouldn't be able to tell him. I am 18 and still a Virgin so I guess I feel when I get close to a guy it's going to eventually lead to sex and not measuring up to the girls they previously been with makes me worry before anything even starts but even with guys who havn't had sex I avoid them and it makes me think I'm never going to allow myself to be close to a guy
I am in a relationship. We get on really well and I love her to bits. She has real commitment and trust issues because because of her past experiences with men - one of whom hurt her in the worst possible way. I have her trust when we are together but as to the rest of her life - freinds , family I don't exist. I think this is because she can't face letting them know she is in a relationship in case it all goes wrong again so she holds me at arms length. I woud do anything for her and she knows it. When we are together her eyes light up so I know she is genuine in her feelings for me but I also know she is in a trap of her own making which is potentially destructive for us both. So , ladies, I say think carefully about why you may be pushing away the best thing that could be happening to you. Weigh up the risk of pain against the potential joy of the right relationship.
I just realized it now that I don't want to fall get close with someone I like or love. There's one guy I really like, he is smart, good looking, decent and nice guy. I really like him and then I found out that he likes me too. . I'm really so happy that time but scared. I'm scared that I will love him more than he loves me. And I'm afraid that if we gonna be together, he will control my feelings and the relationship because it was me who loves him more. . and I'm afraid to get hurt by someone I really love. So what I did, I rejected him and I go to someone who loves me more than I love him. .
what? but you didn't know if the first guy loved you the same
I have pushed a guy I really liked away. It was back when I was in high school. I really liked/loved him and supposedly he really liked/"loved" me, but I pushed him away because I didn't think I would be a good enough girlfriend for him at the time. I regret pushing him away for sure, because looking back on things, I was just being insecure and that could have been a great relationship that everyone would have envied. I still think about him, 'till this day, but we have both moved on now.
What's stopping you from contacting him again?
I just feel like we are at different places in our lives now. He has called me since I relocated and I messaged him a while back; but based on the feedback I got on here about our interaction with one another, there really isn't anything left there. I guess I'm just not hot enough LOL (refering to my last question).
That doesn't mean you can't be friends? Surely it hurts seeing him drift away?
It truly does hurt that we don't keep up with eachother. I guess I just would feel like a looser trying to get back in touch with especially if he that wasn't what he wanted. I mean, I feel like if he really wanted to talk to me he would. Besides, where would I even begin to open the lines of communication?
There's only one way to know what he wants, and that's to try to talk to him. Remember he was the one who called YOU. As for what to say, just be casual, "Hey, what's up, it's been a while what's new?" Something like that?
Yes, I have gotten extremely shaken up by guys who take an interest in me. It's almost like a reflex and I don't even realize I'm doing it until I notice the guy is long gone. I've had boys play practical jokes on me and I was overweight for most of high school, which made things more difficult for me.
...I can confidently say that I am the QUEEN of this problem.
And for me, it's my fear of being hurt in the end and of commitment
:/
Yes, have done that before. Not on purpose. Very disappointed of myself. It's a big mistake. But the fear of getting hurt or rejecting stops me get him back. I guess it's more a self-esteem issue.
The more closer we were, the more I worried. So when I feel that he was really into me, and want to confirm the relationship. That's the time I pulled myself back. I don't even know why. I just feel that it is a safety thing to do at that time.
Would you be more open if that guy attempted to get close to you again? Not necessarily in a romantic way.
I am afraid of getting close to someone and then they leave. I regret it because it is really hard to have a relationship when you can't open up.
This isn't a opinion but I have a question if anyone can help me with this
I've done it to him and it hurts. I've been talking to this guy since April and we've mainly just been talking through text messaging and Facebook. We see each other 2-3 tine
I rejected three times the man I've been in love since I was 14...fear of love,cause it's something you can't control,and that scares me to death.
No - why would you get into a relationship in the first place if you didn't want to get close to them!?
a couple of people on a web site want to like me and I am afraid of what I should say without hurting them
im not a woman but I've had it happen to me.