He's ignoring me because I slept with him?

[Anonymous]

I know deep down what the answers are going to be but I am really hurting and could really do with some advice please.

I met a guy online and we hit it off really well, lots of common interests etc. I actually asked him out which is not something I would do normally, I just wanted to move things on a bit. He lives a little way from me and made the journey to see me for our first date. He was much nicer on the date than I had expected and seemed really into me but the crux of it is he kinda thought he was going to get laid and was a bit surprised that I am just not that kind of girl. We arranged to see each other the following weekend but he ended up having to work. As I was going to be in his neck of the woods anyway he asked if he could take me for breakfast. So, I met him, we had a good time blah blah blah then we arranged for him to come down to see me this weekend. All along we have been really full on with each other sexually so we were pretty worked up about this weekend. I had my misgivings that he was going to use me for sex but like a fool I ignored my gut and listened to the lovely messages he was sending me all week. So Friday comes, I pick him up, we get back to mine...The finer details you can work out for yourself! On Saturday morning he's distracted and distant. We were late for his train so we really had to rush to get it so when I dropped him off he gave me a kiss and a thank you for having me and off he went. I thought he may have text from the train but nothing...Needless to say I have hardly heard from him other than one text to tell me he was tired and didn't want to go to work (he text me first) I was at a party so didn't reply till late but got nothing back. I heard nothing yesterday and I finally caved in and text asking how he was. He replied that he had a bad night at work and that he was in a bad mood but he was out now with friends. I asked him what was wrong and got nothing back.

I'm 30 and He's 33 so it's not like were kids although I feel like one now. We are both looking for "the one" and I really thought there could be something in this. What do I do now? I won't text again but I am completely gutted. I have had the most awful time with men and I really thought that he was a good one and I finally let my guard down and this has happened. All I can think is that there must be something wrong with me. Why has he done this. Please help!

[authentic]

"I'm 30 and He's 33 so it's not like were kids although I feel like one now"

Nothing wrong with feeling like a kid. We all have that kid inside all the way till we depart from this life. Ask any 80+ to think of his/her childhood, and watch that child just pops right back to life. I dare say it is that kid that keeps us truly alive, that kid who has wondering eyes, looking at the world as something new, full of wonders...

"What do I do now?"

Consider you are one step closer to getting the exact guy you want. As you said, he was a good one. All you have to do is add one more criteria to the qualities the guy you want must be aligned with requirements in the area of sex. Hold the new/amended version in your heart. That person is worth it. You are on the right track. (I wouldn't say that if you got tied up at a tree with everything in your purse gone when you came around, and then find yourself looking at a huge credit bill...)

The most valuable lesson in this episode is, from now on, trust your gut feelings NO MATTER WHAT. Pull out when "that something inside" feels uncomfortable, no matter how much you already have invested in that relationship.

[martyfellow]

You were right, he was just looking for a desperate woman, the most common kind you actually can MEET online. I'm not a fan of online dating just for this reason. I know it works for some people, but it's like gambling, you don't hear people talking about when they lose, do you? And that's most of the time!

[Jody111]

Cuts deep doesn't it/ I had a similar situation happen to me recently.. Although we saw each other for three months, then all of a sudden boom! No texts, nothing. Vapor. I know how it feels to be "gutted" I tried online dating years ago.. And even tho I have seen success at times, my personal experiences were not good. Some guys get addicted to it (One of my best guy friends is breaking hearts like nobody's business with the online dating) and have other relationships going on and just want to get laid by someone new, just like my guy friend.

It's hard not to break down and text (ARGH!) at first I changed his name on my phone to A**HOLE to DONT ANSWER then finally I just deleted him to make sure I didn't try to contact him

Chalk it up to a lesson learned and know in your heart the right one will show up for you. Remember "the prize is inside"

[Simple-Simonette]

Deep down inside you knew this was going to happen and you ignored your instincts, but the signs were there ...

The only thing you did wrong was not listen to yourself. You were wishing for the improbable, took a gamble and loss. No need to question your worth over some guy you knew was going to be a jerk. He did this because he wanted to get laid - that has nothing to do with who you are, the type of person you are, how great or horrible you are; his behavior is his responsibility.

Don't beat yourself up because you wanted things to work out in your favor despite knowing how it would end.

Next time, listen to yourself.

Good luck.

[lovefaithful]

like what the others said, you should listen to your gut feelings next time.

He probably only wanted you for sex. It really was not anything you did wrong.

He is probably just using you and that is his problem, not yours.

[Littletad]

Sorry... He simply saw all there was and decided not to continue dating you. A consequence of having sex too early, even if your age. He merely used you. I'm sorry to make it sound so negative, but it's the truth. If you truly want a nice guy, test him. Let him find out all there is to know about you. Why offer the buffet so early?

[Anonymous]

Well it's better to have slept with him and found out early on that he is not the right guy for you than to have dated and wasted each others time to get the same result later on. Believe it or not some guys are just looking to have sex so it's better to find out early on, who knows, he might just be busy too or maybe you were a terrible lay

[GIntrovert]

From my experience, if a girl takes hours to text/reply back, its a safe bet she's playing me, or has lost interest, which equals - move on.

But then I suppose he could be a total a**hole, and just used you.. You're guess is as good as mine.

[Feiranor]

There's nothing wrong with you.

He probably has a girlfriend who he was ducking out on to be with you.

For the rest I agree with simonette

[Anonymous]

He wasn't into you, he just wanted sex he got it and moved on, unless you contacts you again.. At least you tried, you liked him, and you know and don't have to wonder about him.