My boyfriend agreed that I should tone down my affection?

[Anonymous]

If any of you knew me you would know that I am a naturally affectionate person and I like to show it in many ways. However, my boyfriend never reacts how I imagine him to whenever I do cute stuff. Of course I understand and I have come to accept him the way he is but last night I said sometimes I feel under-appreciated and maybe I should stop showing so much affection and he replied flatly that I should. Maybe I am reading too much into it, but we just got back together after a heart wrenching breakup, so I am a little on the cautious side. Should I just talk to him about it ? I don't want to start any problems, but I feel like if he cared he would understand that what he said upset me a bit. What should I do?

[Trihill]

since you've recently just come back from a breakup, maybe you should hold off on talking directly and try to take things from the action point of view and do things at a very slow pace for him to pick up on and start talking/interacting to get you to see your point on things...do the basics, do less and see what he likes, what he doesn't like/construed too much...tone down this way and let him miss, if not realize what he's giving up on

[Asker]

We got back together about three weeks ago but took like a month and a half long break. Should I just text him like once or twice a day the funny thing is that he gets mad if I don't say good morning. Oh I forgot to mention its long distance. That's why I show so much affection because I can't do it in person.

[Trihill]

Go at his pace and no faster...if he wants something do it, and if he doesn't want something, don't do it...you need to let the relationship regrow itself into a state where you can start talking without risking another breakup trend...LDR actually works well for this

[dtaijo174]

Ask yourself if you could live the rest of your life with little or no affection. That's what he is offering you.

[Asker]

Thats a very good point.

[Anonymous]

i guess that just some guys don't like to show their emotions and if you over show them they will feel that there is no balance ... maybe he just trying to take things nice and slowly especially that you have just overcome a break up. so don't give it a much of deal and try to balance yourself at his pace...also try to make him miss the cute stuff you do for him ... maybe like that he will realize how much he needs you

[Asker]

Lol its hard when he is as emotional as an icicle lol I have to remember that he really is emotionally constipated XP I just hate that I feel like I'm being limited to show affection : / So I shouldn't talk to him about it ? I just realized that this is kind of what drove him away the first time . I feel like this is too complicated haha

[funkadelic5]

I think you should find someone else. It's hard advice and no one wants to leave their bf/gf, but do you realize how many guys out there that would do anything for your affection when your boyfriend doesn't even care for yours?

[AcEMasTeR]

If he doesn't like your constant affection mabe he's not the 1 for you. I would personally love that. I also like txting with my girlfriend (ex now) all day long.