Why hasn't my guy friend made a move yet?

[Anonymous]

He told me he cares about me (and he shows it often.) He compliments me and tells me I'm beautiful. I know he is sexually attracted to me. However, he has never made a move or officially asked me out on a one on one date yet.

Is it possible

1. he isn't interested in dating

2. he doesn't see me as date material

3. doesn't think I'd be interested

Any other thoughts?

[wiseup]

Reading your responses to others comments I have to say that you're probably sending mixed signals. The fella doesn't know which way to turn. Trust me, guys can really read into things the wrong way (no offense to those men who have responded). I have had to deal with men who thought I was interested (and they weren't) more than once. To this day I still don't know where they get the idea I'm into them from but as you can see, you need to be pretty blunt.

Quit waiting for him to do something. If YOU are seeing him as more and he's expressed any kind of interest in you at all then tell him. Next time you ask him to go hang out be specific. Tell him to dress up because this time it's a date. He'll either dress up and go (in which case you know you're in) or he won't and you'll have a discussion about where things stand. Either way, you won't still be sitting around wondering.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. When my stepfather moved in, he made a move on me right away. It was hard with my mom being around, but we are now sleeping together every night, & don't think my mom knows, such a stupid woman. If he doesn't make a move, he doesn't care. My stepdad told real men go for it, & I believe him. High school boys are so inmature, I'm glad I have a real man.

[TC123]

Have you told him that you're attracted to him? Not just that he's handsome, funny, whatever you have to tell him that YOU are attracted to him.

I've had several female friends who I told were beautiful, sexy, whatever and they told me the same however when I asked them out they said no, we're just friends.

So, if you have feelings for him you need to TELL him because quite honestly girls who are willing to date guy "friends" are one in a million.

[Asker]

No, I've never told him I think he's attractive, but I do compliment him and flirt. I'm usually the one asking him to hang out. Most of the time he will say yes, sometimes no. A few times a girl would ask him out for drinks and he would invite me along. But the hang outs have never had an exclusive, romantic undertone. I try to flirt more these days because I used to treat him and see him like a brother, but now I care. I still think he thinks of me as a sister (because he is close to my brother).

[gentlemanattbay]

He is waiting for you to reciprocate to see if you like him too.
A relationship is a two way street.
I've asked out girls, and being turned down, and let me tell you this sincerely,
it can really hurt. It is genuinely painful. HE IS TRYING TO AVOID THIS FROM POSSIBLY HAPPENING.
This is why he is taking so much time is he is waiting for you to see if you are really interested in him as well.

[Asker]

I'm usually the one asking him to hang out. Most of the time he will say yes, sometimes no. A few times a girl would ask him out for drinks and he would invite me along. But the hang outs have never had an exclusive, romantic undertone. I try to flirt more these days because I used to treat him and see him like a brother, but now I care. I still think he thinks of me as a sister (because he is close to my brother).

[Thiezz]

Are you interested in him? If so, have you shown him you are?

[Asker]

I used to treat him and see him like a brother, because he is close to my own brother. But I've begun to care for him, so I do flirt more and ask him to hang out. I'm usually initiating the hang outs, sometimes if a girl asks him out, he'll invite me along. But these hang outs never have a romantic "exclusive couple" undertone. I still think he thinks of me as a sister.

[Thiezz]

If he finds you sexually attractive as you suggest he does, he probably doesn't think of you as a sister...

[vicksterg]

Well, if he was really into you then he would ask you out. How do you know he is sexually attracted to you?

[TC123]

That's not true at all - real relationships are a two-way street, and lots of girls and guys will not "make a move" if the other person isn't showing them the same level of affection/interest that they are.

[scar1]

I've never made any sort of move on the girls I'm into