If I’m not THAT good looking, why do I get eyed on and approached by older men and fuckboys that are overly confident, married men?

[Anonymous]

At home or at the gym- I’m 24, brunette, tanned skin, not that tall, I’m very athletic, I’m a long distance runner- I run about 13-16k 6 times a week followed by an intense strength training session with my personal trainer. I dress modestly-usually in ALL black. At the gym I’m in tight clothing obviously and leggings- I DO have a bubble butt and the “thigh gap” but I ALWAYS wrap a jacket around my butt for modesty and stop perverse comments. I’m the type who always has her nails done with manicure- clean fresh hair. I know I’m in great shape- but my face isn’t the prettiest- like I know MUCH prettier girls who don’t get the same looks or get eyed on as much as I do. I’m the sort of person who stays to herself always/ whether at work or the gym/ I’m extremely introverted- always have my earphones on.. and I don’t have that many girl friends. I don’t fuck around with guys either. Im the loner type. I’ve been told I have this mysterious look/vibe.. guys always say hi to me at the gym and smile at me and I always smile back cause I’m not arrogant at all. Guys at the gym who approach me and ask for my number are either married or just much older than me and probably seeking a fuck buddy (I don’t know what it is about me that makes them think I’m that type). Same thing with work- my older male colleagues who are married constantly flirt with me- the CEO ALWAYS eyes me- and most of the older businessmen do the same. A lot of the men at the workplace who I converse with end up looking at my lips in our conversations (even though I’m always in a suit modestly) and eye me A LOT.

What is it about me if I don’t dress provocatively or promiscuously that makes them do that when I’m not even that pretty? Can someone help me out please? What should I do to stop giving off the wrong vibe?

[Kolibri]

I think that you get this unwanted attention because, on top of being attractive and fit, you have a "mysterious guarded personality" and that tends to get across to some men as being misterious, sensual and elusive.
(I would say that the men who approach you usually are interested in "hunting" "independent and elusive" women since they believe that the chase is simply better that way and more fun)
I really have no idea what to do tho bc I experience roughly the same 😅 things only got better now that I'm in a relationship and I make that pretty public (to avoid unwanted attention)

[Logorithim]

Um, I think your "boyfriend" posted a couple of questions about you in the past few days.

It's not the vibe you give off- it's that you are a Young Woman with a very athletic Body, which is an enormous turn-on to guys. We notice this- I'm also a distance runner and see lots of athletic Woman running in the same park I do. I don't try to hit on them, but I certainly notice how great they look.

[Asker]

No I don’t think so haha. But anyways, can you help me out? Like what is it about me that attracts older men, married men, or fuck boys? Or men that are seeking a “trophy” gf? Even though I got the brains and don’t go out much. I’m really low maintenance if that makes sense.

[Logorithim]

As I said, a really great body gets noticed. I'm certain that is what it is in your case. In addition, you're intelligent and work in a challenging field, which is also a turn-on. Finally, guys are lured by a woman who seems outstanding, yet seems "hard-to-get". Also, if your face is a "6", that's plenty fine considering your body is almost certainly a "10".
You're also coming into contact with macho guys with a lot of testosterone at work and at the gym.

Hope that helps.

[Asker]

Yea but I’m also the kind of girl who gives off the goody girl impression, don’t smoke or drink much (occasionally), and considered to be kindhearted, naive, and “innocent” by so many people.

Does that clarify things for you?

[Logorithim]

I don't see why that wouldn't be attracttive to guys who want to have sex with you. Nothing that you have posted here is a turn-off for guys. Here's one other potential aspect:

What is the gender ratio in your workplace and your gym?

[Asker]

the girls are far much less. at least, the young ones who are "unmarried".

[Asker]

wait.. is being innocent/naive a turn on? i always thought it to be a turn off lol

[Logorithim]

Quite to the contrary. The fact that you're in male-dominated environments makes you stand out even more. I used to work for a small IB, by the way.

[Asker]

Can I inbox you something and ask for you advice please?

[Logorithim]

Yeah, sure...

[Asker]

Don’t have enough xper points to initiate. But basically there’s this guy I’ve been talking to and hanging out with casually- not officially in a relationship yet and nothing physical yet. Anyways, so we have this ONE mutual friend between us who is a girl my age (24). And he’s 31. I’m not super close to the girl but became friends with her from the gym (although I hang out with him more often). So this other day I randomly asked her what the deal is with him? (I assumed they were formerly really good friends but turned out he’s her older brothers friend only). So she says to me that “going for him is not worth it any all for so many reasons” so I asked why? She said I’ll end up miserable with someone as “unstable” as him cause I’m much more driven and prettier than he is and can do better. Then, I asked her explicitly if he sleeps around or does drugs. So she goes like “I don’t want to lie to you but I also don’t want to be an asshole to him so I won’t answer”.

[Asker]

She went on further saying that he’s lost, confused, and doesn’t handle life in a mature way.

Now, what do you think this suggests about him? Should I trust her? I know he gambles, drinks, smokes and all that. And his intentions with me NEVER seemed bad or like he’s trying to get me to do something. In fact, he’s super polite and decent with me.

[Logorithim]

I think you shoudl Keep what she said in the back of your head and spend a Little more time with him and draw your own conclusion, but only if you can live with those Things. I suspect they'd all be dealbreakers, though.

[ScaryCool]

Lol First paragraph or two is you saying how well you take care of yourself and describing trends usually associated with beauty nowadays that you have, but then you turn around and say "I'm not even that pretty?"

[Asker]

My face isn’t pretty! Like it’s a 6. Also, I’m one of the “nerdy” types.. I work at a really good investment bank and I’m a book worm. So I really don’t know why guys thinking I’m just DTF.

[ScaryCool]

Maybe you're prettier than you think plus you take care of yourself which not everyone does. A fit nerdy person sparks some people's attention.

[MythicBH]

Next time you go to the gym or work put a mace in the table or the ground next to you... and put a grin in your face everytime your walking by someone. Also grap yourself a girl buddy for the gym.

[Drinkingcoffee]

Classic, “ not like other girlz” post. 😒

[sammmyboy]

Maybe they do it bcz u r so sexy