New first boyfriend...any tips/advice?

[Anonymous]

ok so this is a stupid question, but I recently got a bf.he's my first.but I'm not his first. so I'm a bit worried on messing up, so any tips or advice would be great.

and yes I know "just be yourself" but I mean other than that =P

he wanted to kiss me after a week and I felt that was too fast.is that like 'normal'? should I just let him?

i heard if you rush in a relationship then it could end faster.is that true?

.any help would be appreciated :)

[missjosie417]

I got my first boyfriend when I was 18. We didn't kiss for a month! I felt like I had to "know" him before I kissed him.

I would just act interested in him and his life. I know you are, but make sure you show it. Ask him about his job/hobbies.favorite music, etc. What his parents do for a living, where did he grow up, etc. He should be flattered by your interest.

You should just "let" him kiss you if that's what YOU truley want. Do you have a game plan? Like, do you know what to do if you wants to hit the sheets next week? Be prepared to really KNOW what you WANT and what is IMPORTANT to you. That way you won't be caught off gaurd. And you can be CONFIDENT with your response if the time arrises and you aren't ready.

Just be yourself, as you know, and stand firm in what you're most comfortable with. yes I think if you rush into a relationship, it may end sooner than normal. So take your time and just have fun with him!

[Asker]

Thanks. but yes my problem is that I don't really know when and what I want for the "set planning" I feel that I have to wait but I don't want to make him to get bored of waiting for me to be ready for whatever =\..i feel happy enough just to see him but he seems to really try to make me me happy altho I leep telling him that he doesn't have to spoil me since I already like him heh.

[missjosie417]

If he get's "bored" while waiting on you to be ready for sex with him, then he's not the one to be wasting time with.

After you're together a while, I would just come right out and have a sex conversation with him. That way everything will be out in the open. Only you know how long to wait. Personally, I'd wait until you were married, but that doesn't happen anymore these days. Or wait until you KNOW you could marry him. .

[Asker]

Yes I would like to wait a while. thank you :)

[Anonymous]

Just a kiss after an entire week? That seems pretty normal, maybe even slow in terms of how fast most people take it in your age bracket (18-24).

It might be weird at first, in normal conversation referring to someone as your boyfriend, or walking down the street holding hands and such, but it'll become more natural in time :)

Just, whatever you do, don't get too emotionally attached really fast, and I know it's hard not to but you'll look back on it in the future and be glad you didn't. Most people don't stay with their first boyfriends forever, and going through your first breakup eventually will be devastating.

[Asker]

Yes I kno...i'm not excatly young heh...er ye..but I do agree on the not getting emotionally attached but he seems to the clingly one, so I fear that I seem like I'm ignoring him or something but I do try.it woudl suck to lose him :(.i do let him hold my hand and all those small things tho.

thanks :)

[RedStiletto]

Hun.the advice you have gotten so far is very true. Kiss him when it feels right to YOU. If this is your first relationship then enjoy the time it takes to build it. If this guy bails because he wants it to move faster, then I hate to say it, but you will NEED to move on. You sound like you have a lot of respect for yourself and I admire that so much. Take your time.do things with him when it feels right. And if he respects that, then you have got yourself a winner!

[Asker]

Thank you

[delicatedreams]

I think it's okay to be a little shy. Btw he probably doesn't expect you to be perfect especially if he knows that you don't have much experience with relationships. Perhaps you should just ask yourself if there is anyone else you'd rather be kissing. When it's the right guy it's loads easier though, sometimes the hard part is trusting yourself.don't rush it just think about it. Try and trust yourself too; sometimes that really is the hardest part.

[gag10]

that is pretty slow honestly. but I tend to look at it this way.if you like him, and he likes you, then you should want him to kiss you. you should be looking forward to it. kissing is a beautiful thing and it's really nice to share it with someone. I think you could let him kiss you, maybe get physically close and slightly intimate(cuddle, a little bit of touching, etc) and as long as you hold off on the sex for awhile there's no danger to the relationship. sex is the thing that complicates things I think more than anything, so be more careful with that.

however, I think these are things that you should want to do. don't look at it as something you are letting him do.it's an experience to share together and both of you would enjoy it very much and it would bring you closer together. :)

[AJtogo]

OK, you already know the just be yourself part. That's very true so don't brush it aside. He will be wanting to get into your pants at some point so don't do anything you're not ready for. A piece of advice I gave my daughter was, no matter how much you care for him as a bf, if he ever says you would if you loved me, then kick him to the curb.

Oh, and listen to your inner voice when you're not sure becuase it's usually right.

[Asker]

Thanks. hmm well there's certain things like how we would insist on carrying my bag for example..i don't know if he is just being nice or if he is expecting something in return...i mean obvisouly if I ask he wouldn't say that, probably says that he cares for me and that he doesn't want me lugging my heavy stuff..so is there a way to know really =\

[liveyourfantasy]

I might get mine soon. Might even have him already but it hasn't been confirmed. What's it like? I fantasize a lot. I'd say it was too fast though. You'll probably always remember him. I've known this guy for a few months now. At least leave it a few weeks.

no question is stupid. except maybe mine but only because I ask too many! ><