I’m 22 and I just got my first boyfriend ever! What are some things I should know?

[Anonymous]

Ugh finally

[horatiohornblower]

If you get angry at him or expect him to do something. Let him know specifically what it is. Your relationship will run a lot smoother.

He's going to want to spend time with his friends. This isn't a knock against you. Guys like to have guys night out. Do the same with your girl friends.

Odds are he'll look at porn. Accept it or don't accept it. Trying to change it will lead to frustration for both of you. His looking at porn is no reflection on you.

He'll likely talk to you a lot less by text and phone. This is normal.

If you want to argue less, because you will argue. Use "I statements" not "You statements". When addressing a relationship issue or a need. You can look this up.

Look up the differences in how men and women talk about problems. Generally guys will try to find solutions and women will try to relate. This is a big cause of arguments. If you are aware of this. You can stop most of those. As you'll know what to expect when venting to him and know what he expects when venting to you.

If you're sexually active. Give verbal cues about what you like or want more of. Most guys will want to be better in bed. Be enthusiastic and figure out your dynamic with each other.

When you two have a difference in opinion. You two will need to find a way to compromise. Which means neither of you get all of what you want. A good compromise means nobody is happy.

Learn about love languages. He might show affection in ways you don't expect.

[alleon]

I agree with the “i statements”. Saying “you” makes people immediately get on the defence and solves nothing. More times than not a man hasn’t intentionally DONE what the woman is FEELING. Lol when you say show affection in ways she wouldn’t expect, what would be some examples of yours if they aren’t obvious cues?

[all_hayl]

Keep your legs closed (speaking from experience here).
If he's looking at porn (there's a good chance he is), he'll probably want to have sex sooner than later and will likely have very unrealistic expectations. If he pressures you then he's not worth it. His penis will probably be thinking for him instead of his actual brain, so he's maybe more interested in your vagina than he is in an actual meaningful relationship. If he pushes anything then you best lose him.
Don't rush anything. That means marriage and sex.
Speaking from experience: I got married at 22 (partly bc we wanted to have sex and we're waiting till marriage). We were stupid and immature. 4 years later, we were finished. At 22, most people hardly know who they are and they tend to lack wisdom and self-control.
You will probably get sucked into the honeymoon phase (where it can become very difficult to see things for what they are). If your friends and family start warning you about the relationship, LISTEN TO THEM. They're more likely to see things objectively.
Be safe, learn about yourself and about him, be smart, and have fun.

[AmandaYVR]

Aww, cute, congrats. 🎊

Try to be chill. At this age, he's going to probably think you're too sensitive, and you're going to think 'Why is he so insensitive sometimes?'
You have to meld together, give each other the benefit of the doubt, don't flip out and get overly emotional about what are essentially small things.
Be kind to each other, tell him how much you like him and why, often, and just have fun together.
You chose each other. Remember that. Don't let constant doubt and insecurity erode what has so much potential. Teach other other. Communicate. And forgive, as much as possible.

[Assi2k]

1. Love unconditionally.
- This doesn’t mean without standards. There’s a different.
- See every situation as both of you against it.

2. Don’t think you can change him (fix him) when he exhibits red flags.


- You should have a list of things that you absolutely wouldn’t accept under any circumstances. These are your standards. Stick to them.


3. Maintain a sense of independence.
- Have things you do just for yourself. (Me-time)

[Anonymous]

If it's a serious relationship (or you want it to be) continue reading. If not, then just have fun.

Now, into the serious talk.

It's important to be aware of the "honeymoon" phase.

It's a period from the beginning of the relationship to like 3 months later where everything feels perfect. This means more often than not, that you'll probably overlook each other defects and problems. This is not bad, just be aware that it is happening.

Personally, I would recommend for sex to happen after the honeymoon phase is over. At least for first timers.

Men are usually the ones asking for sex and girls, specially first timers, during the honeymoon phase are more prone to just say "yes" to not "ruin the mood" or stuff like that. Don't fall for it. Do it when you feel like you want to do it.

Other than that, just go with the flow, enjoy your time and have fun!

[MotorcycleMan]

All men just want to get you into bed and have sex. lol (sorry)
Just be safe and don't go along thinking this will be the one guy you are with the rest of your life.
He might be, but most likely not. It's ok. Learn from the experience and enjoy :)

[Ekke118]

I'm happy for you!
Just understand there are certain ways in which we're dumb, so it would be unwise to let him take the wheel completely unless he is super good at it and you both like it that way.
Neither party is complete, and even if one of you decides everything for both, the other is the source of inspiration. In nature, even some cells in our body can only give it their all when signaled by another cell with the inspiration role.

[womanoid]

- It's okay to fight!!
->It's healthy and natural. Try practicing talking your disagreements out rather than screaming and belittling each other.
- Let yourselves have some space a part. There's nothing wrong with that. Meaning, it's okay to let him game, or hangout with his friends, etc. Every so often.
- Set goals with one another, if you're in it for the long run.
- Establish how you guys will make plans because that shit can get so stressful when it should be fun!

[slatyb]

Unprotected sex can result in pregnancy or transmission of STDs. That’s s about it. The rest is just common courtesy and communication. Best wishes.

[Iron_Man]

Compromise with him let him enjoy his sports don’t smother him let him have some space. Never do anything that will compromise your moral values

[busysexygirl]

Whatever it is that you may need to know you'll find out with time.

[Wise4myage]

Don't have sex till you feel ready and don't let him try to pressure you into it.

[LegendaryIcon]

Probably not a good thing when you're saying you're "happy you have a boyfriend"

I mean, i get it but, like, that's probably not going to be a very good relationship, sorry

[sufys12]

I agree. It is as if the purpose of the relationship was to tick off 'get a boyfriend' from the list...

[LegendaryIcon]

@sufys12 exactly

[Asker]

It’s a bad thing to finally be happy I have someone I can love and love me back?

[LegendaryIcon]

Like i said, it just sounds too "wrong"

[Anonymous]

be ready to keep your legs open at all times and mouth too.

[alleon]

Oh my

[all_hayl]

@alleon also be ready to ignore nonsensical advice.

[exitseven]

He is going t opressure you to have sex.