Should you give a guy a chance if you found out he was flirting with other women?

[MilaRay]

So there is this guy who I think is kind of cute. I promised my sister I would stop being so picky and that I would give more people a chance. My friend is single so it’s nothing wrong with him being flirtatious but it’s kind of a turn off to know that he flirts with other women just as much as he flirts with me. That’s why I hadn’t wanted to go out with him before. It’s because I caught him being flirtatious with other women. I wasn’t offended or anything because like I said, he is single. But it just made his interest seem less genuine. Ever since I noticed how flirtatious he is I haven’t really seen him as an interest anymore

[akihon]

So there's this woman I know, she's been single for a while and I know that she wants to ask me out, I'm not what you'd say in her usual type but I think she's trying to broaden her field so to speak. Anyway I'm quite a friendly guy and not bad at flirting but you know I'm single so it's not harming anybody, those I flirt with are single and yeah ok it's a game of sorts but I have fun and it's good and harmless and well it makes me great at communicating with women which is something they all seem to say they want a man to be able to do.

Anyway she was flirting with me a few days ago and I know she's flirting with other guys as well so what do I do, I mean if she's like that with me then she must be like that with other guys and I'm not sure if want to have to deal with my own insecurity and jealousy thinking that she'd be flirting with others. I think I'd have to say no.

See how that goes.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I see your point of view but I can also imagine a guy that's trying to find someone.

Like the first thought that would go through my head in the same situation with the sex role reversed..."If I got with her she'll probably still be like that, expecially behind my back." In that respect I'd pass that up too.

He must be young though because if he was trying to land you, it should be a no brainer to not do it with other women in front of you. I mean again if I was in that scenario, let's be real, there's only one reason I'd give a green light and it isn't because she's relationship material. She'd be one night and a wake up to hear me say, "I ain't saying you gotta go home, but you got to gtfo of here."

[potatoiswhoiam]

You're right. I would have the same opinion as you.
Him flirting with other women just shows that he's not particularly interested in that one girl, who is you.
I'd rather know the guy I'm interested in, is focusing his whole attention on me, cuz that's an indicator that he doesn't just want a girl, but he wants that particular girl. And that's attractive

[nelly83]

he's not interested in you. He shows interest into any girl that walks his way. These people are called "flirts". They will flirt with absolutely anyone and frequently they do it due to insecurity or deep seated low self esteem. And you don't want to date these types either. You never know when their causal flirts with turn wrong.

[bamesjond0069]

Well us men HAVE to talk to lots of women. Many of you string us along just like you have been and if we waited a year for any girl we liked chasing her around then we would most of us die single. Lol. Maybe if you just gave him a chance when he first pursued you he wouldn't be talking to other girls. I had a girl like this recently. She said she liked me but every time i asked her on a date she said no. So eventually i talked to another girl who said yes and now we are in a relationship. The first girl moved way too slow. Im not going to commit all my energy to someone who isn't committing anything to me. How ridiculous. What would you think if a man said hmm i like you, be single and go on no dates for a whole year and then ill think about maybe going on a date with you. isn't that a ridiculous proposition? Thats essentially what most women are doing to many guys and thus why we absolutely must talk to many girls.

[user45663789]

You're opposite of the last girl I dated. She gave me a bullshit excuse that she wasn't ready for a relationship, but there were two other issues that she had with me that she told other people that made it's way back to me.

First, she was talking to another guy who she thought was better than me (he ended up telling her that he wasn't ready for a relationship, lol)

Second, she told someone else that it was an issue for her that I wasn't dating anyone else but her at the time.

Two deal breakers, I deserve better.

[Sensmind]

That is the problem with liking a flirt, you are never a 100% sure - It is human nature to want a certainity when you ask someone out, it never is but with a flirt it is more confusing - I think that is your primary emotion.
My advice is go for it, it is not the end of the world if it doesn't work out note if you start a relationship, ask him to tone flirting down, if he doesn't dump him.

[lightbulb27]

yes, but I'd lay down the rules and see if he can obey them.

You are noting one of the paradoxes of being a male. If we focus on one woman with all our heart... do you know how often we get rejected, turned down, "I have a bf", blah blah... or it just doesn't work. It's exhausting. It is much easier if we have many girls we flirt with, which raises our energy up... so we become more attractive, then we can pick the one we want.

[rjroy3]

Flirting doesn't mean he's in love with you.
Flirting generally is indicative of attraction and playfulness. It's either genuine because that's just who he is or genuine because he flirts with girls he's attracted to and he finds you attractive.

Flirting with other girls doesn't make flirting with you disingenuous

[Alice2398]

Definitely no, my ex was like this and its why i have trust issues now. He was always looking at other girls and flirting with them just like he'd done with me when we first met. He played the shy, nerdy cute guy with every girl he met and was always looking for someone to hook up with behind my back whilst pretending to care about me

[Alice2398]

There's nothing wrong with having standards, don't just date guys for the sake of it that's how feelings get hurt. Trust me, be patient and the right guy will come along speaking from experience. My now boyfriend, was so nervous and shy around me when we first met and he wouldn't have dared flirt with a girl before me still wouldn't do it behind my back either. He tells me he only has eyes for me obviously he can look at other girls its normal we all do it but as long as he's not hitting on them im fine with that. Get yourself a man with good values and morals whose not a over confident fuck boy.

[Alice2398]

If you're not the only girl he thinks about then he's not worth it as obviously he doesn't see you as special to him and would just see you as replaceable and quickly move on to another girl as soon as you end things

[TheFlak38]

so it's a problem that he explores his other options especially since he is single, but when you and every other woman explore your thousands options that you have in your armies of desperate white knights trying to bang you then it's fair play. The entitlement of women never ceases to amaze.
#DoubleStandards

[MilaRay]

I didn’t say it was wrong weirdo. I said what I said learn how to read

[DonCachondo]

@MilaRay don't be coy lol you clearly implied it! What reason would there be NOT to give somebody a chance if you don't have any objection to them?

[Mroz75]

Well... i don't see any problem here... he is single and can flirt with anybody... but if he is with you, and still flirts then that would be a problem...

You didn't gave him any clue that you might like him, so that's why he flirted with another girls...

[Anonymous]

If he is single he can flirt with whoever he wants it's once he is in a committed relationship that it becomes a problem. Also flirting is fun and it's a great way to see if you can get along with someone and find them interesting. If you are interested I would say you should give him a chance and if you end up starting something let him know how you feel about it. If he doesn't stop then you know he's not genuine and a waste of time but right now he's looking for someone too, give him a reason to stop.

[david4urfun]

OMG no he should never ever be allowed to talk to another female ever again not his mom not his sister no friends not even his dog you can't go too far with this one I'm serious. And yes you look icredibly overweight in those jeans because you are fucking fat bitch now go eat my ding don't you ho ho

[BlazinFiresAshNthaB]

Yes because most of us men and women are flirts it is natural for some I think you do like him and he doesn't know how much like you said he's single mingles looking he flirts with you he wants your attention most likely probably way he's been so flirty with other women trying to get your attention but I guess the main thing is how much do like him did it turn you off because it made jealous or because he isn't a very attractive flirt

[Almostoverit]

The guiding principle here is how you feel. The why isn't nearly as important as the result. If you are not interested, don't pursue it. It's that simple. Forcing something you don't feel for whatever reason would be a mistake for both of you.

[Screenwriter]

Sounds like a rational choice. He likes to flirt. Doesn't sound like he's interested in being a one woman man. Unless he specifically voiced and showed interest in you as a dating prospect, why SHOULD you be interested in him?

[Can_I_Get_a_Do-Over]

He’s not your boyfriend yet, so sure. Some extroverts like to flirt or appear to be flirting. Know this is the way he is and make sure you’re ok with it, before you give a chance.

[Flower7]

That would make me less interested in him. I want a guy who likes me because he thinks I'm special, not someone who likes everybody.

[Laozi]

He's not committed so it doesn't matter if he flirts with one or more girls. It's not a problem at all. If you like him then ask him out.

[Jamie05rhs]

You can't blame that on him. He's single. What do you expect him to do- lock himself in a dungeon and have zero contact with the outside world?

[Usernamesrdumb]

Only would flirt with 1 girl at a time in high school. What a waste of time. Figured out people have attention span of a field mouse. Doesn’t happen, you’ve wasted your time.

[kingconcious]

I dont think so, If you decided to be monogam together, you should rather look for someone who is not flirting with other Girls. Most women get unhappy, because they dont acknowledge that they deserve better.

[Anonymous]

Tell him you like him and ask to date. If can't he make up his mind or doesn't want to, then leave it alone. Better to get this over with then jump around it.