I lost an armwrestling match in front of my crush. I feel so humiliated. How to deal with it?

[Anonymous]

I can't deal with the fact he beat me. She wanted us to arm wrestle in front of her. The match took many minutes. It was very close, but in the end he won. I was so embarrassed. She'll probably look down on me now. Right after the match I felt the need to beat him up, but I was able to control myself (since he's a good friend of mine). Problem is... the whole situation is still stuck in my head. I think about it all the time... no matter how hard I try, I can't get over it. I'm an overly confident guy and I break down mentally over it. How can I heal my bruised ego?

[CatherineTheSoSo]

Forget about it, girls don't care about those little games as much as guys do. It just amuses us when guys get all cocky and start trying to one up each other in front of us. We know its happening and it is charming, but we also know that bruised egos come with that. If she is a worthy girl then she would be the type who would nurse your ego after you got beaten up. She'd be the one to drag you back and nurse your wounds after you lost a fist fight. She'd have your back whether you won or lost cause you're never going to win every fight.

C'mon, every Rocky needs his Adrian.

[Asker]

I know I can kick his ass and that's what makes it even worse. I've never lost a street fight before and he isn't a good fighter at all. Just because he's stronger, it doesn't mean he's also a superior fighter. Girls love the whole protection thing. A mother will nurse your ego after you got beat up (it's her job to protect her son/nurse him/mother instinct), but a potential girlfriend will think less of you (cause she is sexually attracted to the strong protector).

[CatherineTheSoSo]

I don't agree. Yea you're supposed to be the strong protector but you can't win every fight, its impossible (hence the Rocky reference.) And if you have your heart set on a girl who looks down on you every time you fail then, well, you're setting yourself up to a lifetime of hardships. Maybe that's what you want though.

I see it this way, she has to nurse his wounds so he can fight another day and she has to be strong enough to take over ensuring his children's survival without him if necessary.

[CatherineTheSoSo]

Also, don't take this the wrong way but you can't separate the mother role from the girlfriend role. A woman has to take on all roles. You can't do the virgin/whore dichotomy and still see women as equals. She has to be a sexual beast and a nurturing creature, one begets the other, she is both.

[Asker]

"She has to be a sexual beast and a nurturing creature, one begets the other, she is both."

She can be both, but she'll lose respect for her man if he needs her help. A real man will take care of his woman. His woman will take care of his kids. Something is terribly wrong if she feels the need to take care of her protector. He can't win every battle, but he's supposed to be the tower of strength...

[CatherineTheSoSo]

He is, but what do you think would happen when he inevitably loses? What do you think she should do when that day comes?

[dweebette]

Well if you're overly confident maybe this loss will do good things for your mindset, in the grand scheme of things :P

Also, I doubt your crush cares about that arm wrestle as much as you do :)

[Anonymous]

dude...a girl got you to fight another guy over her. she wanted the attention and drama of having guys fight over her to feel important. she's a dumb bitch and a waste of your time, seriously. I know the feeling you're going through and it does suck but your crush is a ****. if you date her she'll put you through more "tests" like that. it's her way of controlling you. you shouldn't be way more mad at her than your friend.

[shark825]

I don't think it's a big deal. Have you even seen her since? I don't even think she cares about it anymore, but she may still tease you about it. When I'm angry, I go lift weights or run. It takes off my stress and makes me stronger (so something like that doesn't happen).

[dkong23]

i had a similar situation with a guy, some dude try to desmaculate me and for a second I though t he did in front of my crush , but she came to the realization that I was trying to impress her and ended up thinking it was cute, you can lose at things and still be an alphamale type, but on the flipside it seems like that's not neccesarily what a girl wants

[martyfellow]

First of all no one will really carei and a week about this, Secondly a girl who goads you into something like that is more trouble than she is worth anyway! If she looks down on you, it's for letting her talk you into that.

[Anonymous]

really it not a big deal... if I like some1 I wouldn't care he lost a arm wrestle :D I'm not looking for the strongest man in the world lol.

so don't worry :) she wouldn't look down on you :)

[Anonymous]

Workout like a ninja and get a reduel to reclaim honor!

[Shaun]

She already looked down on you, that's why she insisted that you arm wrestle, she wanted to humiliate you.

She gets enjoyment out of your suffering. Get this toxic person away from you. : )

[Asker]

Not really. She did not know he was stronger than me.

[Shaun]

If that's the case, then don't worry about it. It's no big deal.