Feel free to read the details, or just answer based on the title question.I may have a teeny tiny work crush.
This dude was one of the first people I met at my current job. We work right next to each other. He showed me around, and was really nice.
He's funny, and easy to talk to, and people tend to like him. He teases me a lot, in a lighthearted kind of way, which I think might be flirting. But at the same time, I've seen him do it with other people too. He does it a lot more with me, but a lot of guys tend to do that with me, because I'm a bit awkward, shy, and giggly.
He goes to all the get togethers after work, and gets along really well with all the people there. He seems to enjoy himself. But apparently he never went to those before I started inviting him. He started working with this company a few years before I did, and was always invited, but never attended. My coworkers apparently used to think he was standoffish, which surprised me.
At the same time, Mr. Dude never sits with me and my friends at meetings. He always comes up and talks to me individually before and after all the meetings, and occasionally sneaks up and whispers jokes to me during them, but then he sits by himself.
I don't know if he's flirting, or if he's just playful and we're friends. He seems social when he's around people, but he tends to turn down social offers, except when I started inviting him out for drinks. Maybe he just talks to me more because we work right next to each other, so he knows me better, but he started doing this pretty shortly after I started working there. He had been working with everyone else for a few years.
It seems like flirting. But I'm awkward, and not 100% sure. I don't even know what I would do if I was sure, but I'm curious.
Thank you!
P. S. I'm being intentionally vague about what I do for work, for privacy reasons, but it isn't the sort of job where it's inappropriate to date coworkers.
How can you tell if a guy is flirting or just being playful?
As a rule, one of the defining features of flirting is that you can't be certain it's happenig; the name of the game is plausible deniability.
As much as that sentence makes me want to go into a monastery, it's true; people don't want to risk the pain of rejection, so they hide their feelings.
It sounds like he is different enough around you to suggest he's flirting. You could try waiting for the next flirtatious thing he says and reply with something along the lines of "careful now, I might think you are flirting" and see how he responds?
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Asker
1 y
This made me laugh, because he's actually made comments like that to me before, when I wasn't even trying to be flirty. It's in the teasing category. I think he finds it funny to watch me get all flustered.
Hahaha I feel you, a girl at Work does the exact same thing to me. If he's made those comments, he's either led you on accidentally, or was flirting. Figure out if you actually want anything with him and if you do, go for it.
He definitely could be flirting, and considering what you’ve heard about his behavior before you arrived and the difference now is a big indicator. The teasing could just be a part of his personality, sometimes I get in super-sarcastic moods.
The best thing to do is just go with the flow and see what happens. He might ask you out if he really is interested.
He is usually Flirting if he only does that when you're alone with him, If your with other People he is usually just being playful.
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Asker
1 y
He does it in both scenarios. Also, even among other people, like at work meetings, the things he says are usually whispered just to me. He sits all alone, and then in the middle of the meeting will sneak up to whisper something to me, and then sneak all the way back.
The one exception time I've seen him choose to talk to other people is at the after work social gatherings. He's easy to talk to, so plenty of people will talk to him, but he doesn't usually start conversations with people. And when given a choice at big meetings, he sits all by himself.
He comes up to me during the work day though, when we're not particularly busy. Most of our big conversations are alone, at times like that. Or even if I am busy he'll sometimes just hang out in my work space, or help me with things when he can. (Although, to be fair, my work space is a lot nicer than his. And comfier).
No, I don't think he is flirting with you. Flirting at done to generate interest in the other person in some way.
I cannot see any such of him flirting with you. To me he is just being playful.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
1 y
Dont mix business and pleasure.
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Asker
1 y
It's considered perfectly appropriate where I work for people to date their coworkers. It's not like he's my boss or anything. We have completely separate jobs. We work alone. Our workspaces just happen to be located next to each other.
Even then, if things really went poorly, I could easily get my work space moved. They give a lot of people (the ones who work alone) the choice to move their work space every once in a while. We both choose to stay where we are. Because we enjoy each other's company. That would probably be the biggest risk. I don't want to lose that. It makes the work day fun.
When looking for the meme for this question, I stumbled across a statistic saying that relationships with coworkers are among the most likely to be successful. 30-something percent of people who start dating as coworkers end up getting married some day. My boss met his wife working with this company. He's made it clear several times that it's perfectly okay for people to date at work.
I get why people say things like what you're saying, but I don't think it's that huge of a deal. There's some stigma around people dating their superiors at work, but that's not what would be happening here.
