Why Do Girls Lose Interest After Showing Initial Signs of Attraction?

[Anonymous]

I'm a tall, muscular guy with earrings and tattoos. I would definitely say I'm a very confident and social guy as well. I love being around people. A LOT of people that I've encountered (Guys and Girls) in my 24 years of life, have told me that I'm very good looking or would simply just stare at me. I have had many girlfriends in the past as well. I don't know if this is strictly an "attractive" guy issue, but I started to lose confidence after I would approach girls who would show they were attracted or stare at me multiple times, we'd have a great first conversation, then I would ask for their number or snapchat, they would give it to me, add me back, then act uninterested a day or two later. Point of the matter is, why do these girls immediately lose interest in me in a matter of a few days. I just feel like "why waste my time". I don't even brag about myself, I talk to these ladies in a way where I can understand them and their interests. It doesn't really make sense. If any other "handsome" guy or girl has gone through this, drop a comment.

Updates

5 mo

I would ask them over text or snapchat a day or two later to go out for dinner or hang, and they would either not respond, leave me on "read", or act dry in convo.

[Flatmanlewis]

Well, I think you’re hinging on a looks based perspective over this. The reality is women advance and thrive in the realm of physical attraction. It’s far less crucial for a man. As this is a widely accepted truism, so is a man’s status matters more than his looks. Could you be signaling something that is leading women to think you are lack ambition, or maybe don’t have the kind of stability and potential they want in a man. Worst of all, are you giving off ‘player vibes’ which may be unfairly laid at your feet as an attractive man. In the end, I can’t say. Maybe it’s worth asking some women in your orbit who can see details from a female perspective we just can grasp here.

[SotiCoto]

If I were to guess at it, you're meant to get their contact details and then wait for them to contact you. By contacting them first, you've broken their perception of you, which leads to instant disappointment. Ultimately it is their fault rather than yours, but I'd imagine that is how things are playing out. They probably expect you to be aloof and unattainable, which raises your value in their eyes... and instead you're contacting them, shattering their bizarre dreams, and they lose interest because they got the wrong idea in the first place.

[couchweed92]

waiting a week is good measure

[wolfcat87]

Girls hate that. Mind games are ick.

[SotiCoto]

@wolfcat87 : And yet girls are typically the ones both playing the mind games and expecting mind games in return, while guys don't tend to even understand this nonsense unless they've been surrounded by it for decades.

[wolfcat87]

Actually, men tend to train women into playing mind games. Most women start off going, "Hey, I like you. Let's be together." That straightforwardness rarely pays off. So, women learn to play games that men enjoy. It does not mean women enjoy them. Men are just far more intrigued by them.

[SotiCoto]

@wolfcat87 : That is just straight up nonsense. You're just messing with me now, right? That would be like a cat trying to teach a fish how to swim. Men don't like mind games. Men HATE mind games. Why women can't understand this and keep playing them will forever be a mystery... but I suspect it is just bad advice from other women.

[wolfcat87]

You can't speak for all men. Most men do enjoy mind games. Even for the ones that don't enjoy them being used on them, most will use them on others.

[IlllllIll]

I don't know about your dates, but usually it takes a single comment for me to see we'd never see eye to eye.

Sometimes it is not a matter of opinion, rather me realising we are valuing or seeking different things out of life. So... since I'm only looking for long term relationships I'd drop it knowing it wouldn't work eventually.

Also, it is just my personnal opinion. I'd rather go for a average looking guy knowing I'd have less competition. If other women gravitated around my boyfriend/husband it would make me uncomfortable. I wouldn't blame him if he was handsome or interfere with his friendship with others, but still.

[Random_g]

From the description of yourself i think you give off a first empression of a "mysterious guy" which make girls take you as a challenge in a way (to break your walls one by one) so once you open up they lost interest (because you weren't that much of a challenge) ... But i can be wrong.

In any way that's not your fault , it's just they are not your match.

[couchweed92]

lol i love trying to understand girl logic

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah man, I feel you, it's happened to me a lot as well.. Usually with girls that message me first.. They seem interested, I talk to them like a real person, ask about their interest. And then they just ghost or dip.. It gets frustrating, especially when you try and be gentlemanly, and then they just get bored and move on.. I just think they have some preconceived notion about us as handsome guys and lose interest because of those notions.. Women can literally get angry over dreams.. So I can imagine they don't wanna move forward over what they think you are..

[dennyd89]

Look at things from their perspective, if you're as good looking as you claim to he then they might feel intimidated might not wanna feel too desperate might not feel confident enough about themselves to make the moves don't forget women have just as much insecurities as men do if not more, also they could just be playing hard to get and want you to chase I used to be lazy and non chalant when it came to hooking up with women and used my looks to compensate for my low effort in courting it was an ego thing mixed with introvertedness and some shyness from childhood but as i got older the dating game has changed and looks alone and slight charm doesn't work anymore, women have more and more options less patience and becoming more materialistic so if those good looks dont come with a 6 figure career and a beemer good luck 😂

[wolfcat87]

They may be seeing something after adding you or talking to you that tells them you're not right for them. The same way you would with a girl if they did something really incompatible with you. The second we hit a deal breaker we lose interest.

[Anonymous]

You say you’re a social guy - I’m guessing that you’re very chatty, animated, expressive? Sometimes this can actually be off-putting to women. Try toning it down a bit, be less expressive, act more nonchalant.

[abc3643]

Don't text.

Call.

A real man calls because a real man doesn't waste time fucking around and waiting.

[Billlewis]

A lot of times, they're also meeting other guys, and they find one that they like better than you.

[blueonblack22]

When they do this you need to withdraw yourself. Women can be very cat like.

[Nikki1989]

“I'm a tall, muscular guy with earrings and tattoos.”

And you this a good thing? Think again.

[Nikki1989]

And the male comments on this post are hilarious.

[mar1chat]

I would say, 1. we start by admiring from afar so if we get to know you and see traits we dislike we will just leave even if we were interested before

2. If I guy lays hard to get, I lose interest. FAST

[Anonymous]

You're too gettable to these women. The good news is most of these women are trash so you're not really missing anything. Quality women don't do this.

[piang]

well i think its about the connection. even if you are the most handsome guy. if there's no connection. they might thinking ur just a phase. or u know u might hurt them so they dont wanna risk.

[Starrrboy]

No one knows sir lol.. seriously no one knows!..

[JamesRandiDebates]

Once you catch a bitch's initial attention, you've got about 30 seconds to seal the deal or she will wander off. Women are fickle like that.

[Anonymous]

They either changed their minds for some reason, or they got wet feet.

[bededazzle]

because they never liked you that much

[serious_miss419]

What is your anticipation with these women?
..

[Jamie05rhs]

Females are trash.