How do you differentiate flirting from being friendly?

Question

I know how I do.  I am curious how you all do.

love_conquers_lust · Accepted Answer

This is obvious flirting on my part. OP did not ask for my response, I took a risk and volunteered it. I assumed that she would like hearing that based on her post. That was my intent, which is key along with context. There’s a danger to this type of double speak in that operating too much in the figurative leads to miscommunications. It’s wise for figurative speak to be sprinkled in while the bulk of conversation should be in the literal. I’ve admittedly over interpreted things and made bad assumptions about people’s intents. When it gets too frustrating, sometimes I just cut through it all speaking plainly and bluntly. Sometimes, I just need to cool my jets. Physical presence>Video call>Audio call>Texting. Texting is a different realm from in the flesh. Body language and queues make intents much more obvious in physical presence. The flirting can be much more subtle. For instance, at any of my jobs, I knew what it took to collaborate on certain job tasks. But when conversations became excessive, or there was light touching, or women shared suggestive, personal information that I didn’t need to know, those were signs of flirting. Examples would be brushing my hand with theirs, “lighting up” when I’d enter the room, intently paying attention to everything I say, generally watching me, fidgeting or playing with their hair a lot while talking to me. Sometimes I’d hear blunt phrases worked into conversations such as “Oh, XYZ”. They always sound/were friendly doing it. There are also subconscious signs of attraction as a tell for flirting in people’s presence. Usually, don’t have to look for these because nature usually takes its course affecting our behavior. Things like dilated pupils, lips swelling, body turned towards a person, open frame, pheromone emission, etc. It takes emotional intelligence to pick up on it. I don’t pick up on everything. It provides a safer means for people to communicate intent minimizing the risk of rejection while still pursuing the reward. Women tend to be artists at it, men tend to be a little dense, however sexist that sounds, NAWALT NAMALT etc.

serious · Accepted Answer

There are many differences but according to me some of the most notable differences are:

1. The intention and the expectation of the final outcome. That means flirting definitely has an ulterior motive but they are mostly good only. For ex it can simply be to get some appreciation and attention from the opposite gender or it can be to get the opposite gender to actually like them (the one who is flirting).

On the other hand being nice/friendly does not have any motive behind it whatsoever. The person is being nice because they are like that with everyone and that is their nature, their character.

2. In my view, being nice/friendly is something that is very natural and for many people it will come naturally without much effort.

However, flirting on the other hand is a cautious action and requires skill and effort. Hence flirting is very much intentional

3. Being nice/friendly is just being themselves but flirting on the other hand requires one to do something that is out of their comfort zone and only some people can do this well.

There are more differences but according to me these are the key points.

Hope this helps

Amara_09 · Accepted Answer

Flirting and being friendly, nowadays it’s all a mix.

I am just making it easier for you to understand. Friends can flirt with you and be physical ….. people can be friendly without having to be physical with you. People can be friendly and yet initiate physical contact. Friends can be friendly and yet initiate physical contact.

Depends on who. If it’s a guy or girl you like, maybe the physical part will be more visible but I don’t know honestly how to say it.

If you see how my friends and I interact, you would think that we are actually dating.

Katebfun · Accepted Answer

I still don't know 🤣 I realized that there are men like me who flirt just to have fun and means nothing. If I do like the guy and he calls my bluff with flirting I gey shy. Actions are s good measure. If a guy is investing his time and $ he's into you.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Casual friendly flirting that you do with the bartender/waitress that I'd do in front of my S. O... I don't really differentiate. I'm ACTUALLY trying to get your phone number and take you on a date... I haven't done that in so long I can't even really recall how I did it.

I am interested in your answer though.

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

I know what flirting used to be. It used to be the occasional sexual nuances in speech, a little banter back and forth. A wink, even the blowing of a kiss. You also had the occasional touching of an arm with a rubbing of its length. You never touched the thighs or the breast, or anywhere near the groin area. Doing that was considered invasion of personal space.

Being friendly would be more the nodding of one's head, the occasional jab of one's side in a playful manner. Hugging them to comfort them when they have a difficult issue. Just being there, and listening, holding their had while they are talking through a sad situation.

Being friendly is treating them like a brother or sister. Flirting is treating them as the lover you desire.

msc545 · Answer

I can usually tell, although I can't exactly tell you how it is that I can tell. Also, at least 40% of the time when it's happening. I literally cannot tell and unless the other person becomes quite obvious about it, I may never know.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

You can't because different people flirt differently.

Some are obvious and focus on adding erotic stuff. But most people banter and tease a little.

Flirting is not a prelude for sex, so having friendly fun is common.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

Intentions.
I know what mine are.

I can't fully be sure of others though. It'll have to be tested, if I want it to go anywhere, that is.

Otherwise I'll try to ignore the notion and if it becomes too obvious I will try to hint at our friendship.

el_Te_de_la_Rosa · Answer

When someone takes me seriously and asks me out on a date.  If it's just playfully teasing or goofing around, it doesn't mean anything.

stratford · Answer

With a girl I always assume it is one of the following:

1. She is just being friendly and my brain is in my pants as usual

2. She is leading me on just for the fun of it or because the attention makes her feel good about herself

It's very rare that a girl would actually flirt.

Still-alive · Answer

Flirtiness always has a tinge of sexual innuendo involved so anytime that is absent is how i can tell they're just being friendly. it can be tricky but over time and practice you can tell more easily

mandyfire98 · Answer

With women it's trickier I've found because they're more subtle at it. But I usually can tell from body language and I can pick up on the vibe.

With men it's normally never subtle lol. It's like a sledgehammer

swordbreaker · Answer

It is important to understand the difference between flirting and being friendly because these two concepts have fundamentally different meanings. Flirting is generally defined as the act of showing interest in, establishing a relationship with, and establishing an emotional bond with a person for a romantic or sexual relationship, while being friendly refers to establishing relationships with people in a sincere, warm, and friendly manner.

Novemberr_ · Answer

You can display your interest to someone by perpetually complimenting himself/herself and trying to found true intimacy between each other. It's too hard to designate the basic difference initially however, asides from all these, ordinary friendship cannot be provided between oposite genders properly, one side (mostly guys) eventually nourish some hearty and flirtious feelings over her then that would be culminating in either end of the friendship or going further to start dating.

PizzaDaddyo · Answer

Anything that includes tongue I would assume is flirting or more. No tongues. It’s friendly. Unfortunately. *This rule apply to humans though. Dogs and cats lick without flirting, at least I hope.

Zestyassmf1997 · Answer

Unless it’s stupidly obvious, I usually just assume that all women are being friendly all the time.

Guido · Answer

I am a friendly flirt. I flirt with all women I know but not with women I do not know. They know it's all in fun as I am married and it's verbal only. They all laugh and flirt back the same way.

Ironic_Method · Answer

I assume it's always just being friendly until explicitly stated otherwise.

aceleon · Answer

i don't, i even flirt with my male friends even though i am straight let alone female ones, me being friendly is me being flirty.

Paris13 · Answer

Just That Certain Something I Know With Having Had many and Plenty of Dates and Mates. lolxxoo

Monalisa77 · Answer

Touching you in a weird way Smiling and pronolonged eye contact  Staring

jarkitor20 · Answer

I see everything as friendly If they start physically touching me more than usual I'll start pondering the idea they might be flirting

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Flirty involves touching and flattery behavior. While friendly is mainly about respecting space, and connecting on mutual ground.

elaphe · Answer

This is an excellent question. When women are friendly, I think they LIKE me, and when they are obviously flirting (obvious to other women) I am oblivious.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

If I am just being friendly I will always add "ma'am" to the conversation, such as "yes ma'am, no ma'am", to make it clear this is not flirting.

82lynx · Answer

I would just assume it’s the latter. I’m no one’s prize, just a target at best.

jahaims · Answer

Anything romantic or sexual is flirting. If you wouldn't do it in front of your partner then it is cheating

KillinItHard · Answer

Usually body language helps me distinguish the difference. Once you're around both enough, you typically know the difference.

JHAYES317 · Answer

I can’t which is why it’s annoying, just tell me if you like me or not lol.

Francesca1994_ · Answer

Well their genuine and their possibly get what we want.

Muslimhorny · Answer

It's easy. U can see the level of naughty talk

abc3643 · Answer

d (flirting)/dx -being_friendly = ?

Kaneki05 · Answer

Simple I don't.

NathanDavis · Answer

experience

Jkreuger89 · Answer

Whether or not my cock is out

Pohjolan · Answer

Look if they are blushing.

BigBootyKay · Answer

I don’t

justabuddy · Answer

I'm bad at this, not gonna lie.

Agape93 · Answer

Intent

MissBoogus · Answer

I can’t

91bryce91 · Answer

fingering

How do you differentiate flirting from being friendly?

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How do you differentiate flirting from being friendly?

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