Why is it "wrong" to tell someone they look good? Can't we find someone attractive, and compliment them or let them know, without it being weird?

[Ds4739]

I find women attractive. In many different ways, for many different reasons. It was always great to see them light up when someone saw something in them, maybe for the first time in a long time. Maybe I just don't want to take the chance now, but it seems like even a compliment is much more likely to get you in trouble.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

If you compliment a random woman, I find it's best to pick something specific and include why it stood out to you.

"Your hair looks amazing, the curls are so defined" this right here will not come across to any normal person as flirting until you add what I like to call a conversation instigator at the end. "And you do that every day? " / "how do you get your hair like that? " or anything else that she may interperate as vulnerable or outside the scope of a passing phrase. Women sometimes interperate men being vulnerable as an attempt at romantic connection.

Sometimes you can even add a little comedic flavor to it.

"Wow, I really like that hat" if she's wearing one of those big ass sun shade hats and it's genuinely a nice hat, she's going to laugh a little and get a big smile.

And if she does act some snobby way or tries to call you out, just shrug if off and say "alright" because the first thing people are going to do is watch your body language. The second thing they're going to do is take note of how much longer you engage in the conversation, too short looks guilty, too long just makes you look like an idiot.

For me personally, it is best to acknowledge her comment in a mostly neutral way, and not let it bother you. As long as you don't panic, people will be able to see pretty clearly, you were just trying to be nice.

[coachTanthony]

It screams give me your coochie vibes. Maybe once you get to know them a bit. Telling them you love that dress or what they did with their hair is much better then damn boo you look gooooooooood. lol

[SueShe]

Compliments on looks given by one gender to the other usually, I would say in 90%+ of the cases, is solely given with a very specific aim in life and as @develish-cutie so rightfully states, this aim is ultimately to fornicate with the person on the receiving end of the compliment.

I personally dislike compliments, even abhor them because in my age group, guys giving compliments on looks only give them because of the push given by their testosterone.

I have yet to find a person that gives a compliment on a professional or other achievement. Those are not likely to ever been given by a guy because it would imply that the girl that receives it is seen as just as good as a guy and that is something that most men will never want to admit.

[brightpapaya]

I'm the kind of person that gives compliments to everyone and unless someone compliments me in a sexual way I will always be happy to receive a compliment from men. If I have something nice to say, I will usually say it - I have no filter for nice thoughts!

I think the issue is that some men will only ever compliment attractive random women or female friends and that's why it can come across as a bit weird... if you're like that with everyone and you compliment things like the way they dress or their new haircut instead of just telling them ''wow you're beautiful'' or something equally boring, then maybe women would be more receptive. Just a thought.

[Avicenna]

Just reserve your compliments for female friends, family members and your girlfriend

[theothersider]

While I typically enjoy being complemented. The problem is that a lot of times men have comically bad timing. And it will land awkwardly. I was in the grocery store a few summers ago. When I noticed a man looking at me... very closely, we kept running into each other. So he comes up to me. " you know. They say men pay more attention to women in red, but you sure do look pretty in blue " I was wearing a blue sun dress. I didn't even know what to say about it. Just thank you... I mean it was nice, but awkward as all hell.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

It isn't really wrong to tell someone they look good. As long as you don't do it in like a very awkward or creepy manner while licking your lips. I usually just say things like "I like your hair" "I like your shirt." Just small compliments, but my intention isn't to find someone. I just never tell someone their hot or anything like that. Can I think it? Yes. But do I say it? Nope. It's also because then people would take that the wrong way, which I don't want. As I'm not hitting on someone, so I never want to give off that impression.

[Orangekiss]

Sometimes it is just better to keep your comments to yourself. Women who look good hear this stuff all the time and probably just ignore it most of the time. In fact, it can also probably turn them off and have her thinking - "Just another guy who wants a piece of peach pie. 🍑🥧

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Even if there are risks, if someone I have never met before is brave enough to give me a compliment in person, I reciprocate with a compliment for his or her boldness and confidence to approach me.

It has happened numerous times.

[devilish-cutie]

Because men usually say that to me cause they wanna sleep with me and that makes things awkward cause then I know they are attracted to me while I'm not to them.

It's ok to say normal compliments like your shirt is nice or your hairstyle, but not like you are good looking cause that usually means attraction. It can be say in coversations as matter of fact only, than its ok. Eg. woman says im fat, and you say no you have a really good body.

[andreasderjuengere]

So you feel better when people are NOT attracted to you? 🤔

[devilish-cutie]

@andreasderjuengere Well i guess in a sense yes, I dont like UNWANTED attention, men that are not attractive to me would bother me and annoy me with their initiative towards me, many canttake no as an answer or read the room, it makes me feel really awkward. I do feel good when a guy I like is uttracted to me and i do want attention from him

[devilish-cutie]

I assume this isn't common, I could never be celebrity and I would hate all that many people bothering me, people are also so disrespectful. It means nothing to me if someone I dont care about likes me. I want to be liked by someone I care about. I would also never bother a celebrity, you admire from the far and have respect. If I happened to meet a celebrity Id try to talk to them as humanly normal as possible if they seemed like they want to talk, otherwise Id respect their space and not bother them.

[ChiTown33]

Dude if you genuinely think a woman looks nice tell her. F*** worrying about anyone that can't take a compliment or questions your motives. This is THEIR hangup, not yours. It's NEVER wrong to give someone a compliment.

[jmsinaz]

No. We are not only governed by written laws that we may or may not agree with, but also by the accepted norms and rituals of our culture and society. These norms and rituals are widely accepted but also unwritten. It is not an accepted practice to make such a statement to a person you do not know or to a person when saying such a thing would be considered nonnormative behavior.

[andreasderjuengere]

Here in Thailand it will be received as what it is: a compliment

(for clarity: I'm not Thai myself)

If other cultures struggle with friendliness, then I can only pity those who are associated with it.

[IslaTheWitch]

I got a compliment today, lol. The guy didn't hesitate. What the smile he had...

[Ds4739]

And was it like the comments below, "nice curls in your hair" or was it more direct?

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm a runner, he caught me during my training. He said he had never seen a person who looks like they're dancing while running, that my movements are mesmerizing lol

But no, I didn't give him my phone number lol

[jshm2]

It's the manner and place in which it is said.

Saying that at a funeral - you deserve to be escorted out. At a nightclub, not so much,

[Nikki1989]

Judging by how often it happens, I don't think many find it wrong at all.

[JHAYES317]

Because I think people can get the wrong idea…if a woman tells me they think I’m hot but they don’t want to go on a date with me…it can be disappointing…

[Aphrodite801]

You are 51, older men seem to love sexually harassing women outside. Specifically younger women

[Ds4739]

Actually, I was thinking especially about women close to my age.
And believe it or not, men can find women attractive and NOT think about sex

[Agent_Elflord]

I think it’s better received if it’s just a simple “I like your hair” or something

[boobliker]

I also feel it worng. Not to be able to say you look good

[Thatguy2394]

Women tend to like compliments from men they are attracted to. Not the opposite

[RedInnocent68]

I think it’s just you.

[HouseMoat]

You can tell them, just don't be creepy about it

[Twalli]

I just tell them I like their, hair or outfit.

[hi-tech]

jjjjnveijviejvijeniv

[LazerBean]

It's not.

[Itsasecret74]

Not wrong at all

[Aphrodite801]

We don’t need old men telling us we look good

[Itsasecret74]

@Aphrodite801 true.. goes both ways..