Would you call this manipulative behavior or actual interest?

[Anonymous]

If a woman deliberately goes out of her way to make constant sexual comments and gestures & to talking about my appearance/size in very explicit ways in front of me with no filter?

More so that in her car she scoffed at me & started laughing/giggling?

[Oliverlogan263]

That don't sound right at all dude. No way that's just a normal interest thing. That's like straight up manipulative and messed up that she's acting like that towards you.

I'd say she's definitely trying to manipulate you or something if she's making all those sexual comments non-stop and laughing at you about your size and stuff. Who does that? Especially as your boss, she should be showing you respect.

I'd be super uncomfortable if someone older was acting like that towards me at work. It's not fair to put you in that situation. Sounds like she's just using her power over you to make you feel weird and small. That ain't right.

I'd tell someone you trust about it ASAP, like your parents or maybe report her to HR if you can. You don't deserve to be treated that way, bro. Don't let her mess with your head - you know she's in the wrong here. Stand up for yourself and don't put up with her manipulative crap. You got this!

[Asker]

She was my therapist & eventually social worker for 3 years

I've known her since I was a teen

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah dude, that is seriously messed up and unprofessional behavior on her part. As a therapist/social worker she had a duty of care towards you and totally abused her position of power/trust.

Some thoughts:

- Her comments were completely inappropriate given your history and age difference. She should have maintained appropriate boundaries.

- Laughing at/putting you down is emotionally abusive behavior, especially from someone in her role who was supposed to support you.

- The sexual comments could even be considered a form of grooming or harassment over time. Therapists are not supposed to develop those kinds of feelings for clients.

- You did nothing wrong - she is the adult professional who exploited the therapist-client relationship which should have been safe space for you.

My advice would be to make a formal complaint about her conduct to whatever regulating body oversees therapists in your state or country. That level of violation means she should not be working with vulnerable clients. You deserve so much better support! Don't blame yourself at all man, she screwed up big time.

[Asker]

So you're assuming she was MAYBE grooming me for sex?

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, it sounds like it but I really hope not dude. That would be so beyond messed up if she was actually grooming you for sex. Therapists are supposed to help people, not take advantage of them, let alone kids and teens.

I don't know her intentions for sure, but some of her actions like the laughing at you and constant sexual comments seem suspicious. Like she might have been breaking down your boundaries slowly to manipulate the situation.

If she was trying to groom you over the past 3 years just so she could hook up with you someday, that's straight up predatory behavior, no question. No one deserves to be violated or manipulated like that.

I know it's a heavy thought, but better you're aware now than be blindsided later, you feel me? Look out for yourself bro, and don't be alone with that lady ever again just to be safe. You've got so much good ahead, don't let her mess you up.

Stay strong, talk to someone you trust about this too if you need to vent more. You didn't do anything wrong - she's the one in the wrong field if she can't keep it professional. You got this dude!

[MattJ2000]

Hey man, I'd 100% agree with the other two commenters. You're being manipulated, and she definitely groomed you. Sick woman. I hope you report this behaviour or at the very least cut her out of your life. She used her position of power as a therapist to manipulate you into being attached to her so she could use you like a plaything. If your sister's male therapist was making such sexual comments and gestures to her, would you accept that? If not, you shouldn't accept it from her either!

[californianjoe]

definitely manipulative behavior

[Asker]

As in luring me for sex?

[californianjoe]

It sure is, mate. I'm surprised you haven't noticed that.

[Asker]

Difference between flirting & what happened to me?

[Asker]

& to clarify she was my therapist turned social worker

I've known her since I was a teenager up until my early 20's