A guy was giving me signals but as soon as I mentioned it going somewhere he rejected me?

[Anonymous]

Why would a guy give you a lot of interest but as soon as you mention it, he rejects you. Why would someone do that?

[Anonymous]

Because he wasn’t giving you signals. Amazes me how so many women perceive everything men do as giving her signs that he’s interested. If I open the door for you I’m interested. If I smile at you I’m interested. If I say hello I’m interested. If I talk for a longer amount of time to you I’m interested. It’s not men who are confusing. You’re just confusing us by thinking too much into things.

[Asker]

I know what you’re saying and yes maybe it gets interpreted at times, but I also do think you can tell when someone likes you from how they are, I mean it can be kind of obvious. Whereas you don’t experience it with other guys say.. but anyway I found out the real reason he rejected me is because he has a girlfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

I see. Well hang in there. At least you know what the reason was rather than being confused. Who knows maybe she will breakup w him or he will breakup w her. Just be careful though if he breaks up w her just to be w you.

[Asker]

Ok thanks you mean if he breaks up with her or be with me, because he could do that to me too?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes he could. If he finds someone else who he thinks is prettier then you or whatever then he may do the same to you.

[Asker]

Yep ok thank you

[Opinion Owner]

No other dudes you’re interested in?

[Asker]

No not really, I found we had a real mutual attraction so was kind of blindsided by that.

[Opinion Owner]

What exactly was this mutual attraction?

[Asker]

Well it consisted of regularly checking me out, engaging in intense eye contact daily, looking for opportunities to talk with me, seemingly really excited to see me and lingering to continue the conversation even when it had finished, trying to set up time to work on projects with me when it didn’t involve me, leaning in really close when talking, getting miffed when I talk to another guy friend, many things like that really..

[Opinion Owner]

I see. Hard to tell if he’s really interested or just trying to sleep w you. But at the same time he shouldn’t be acting that way really if he has a girlfriend. A lot of women would consider that cheating.

[Asker]

Yeah right thats my thoughts exactly too, How can you tell if he’s just trying to sleep with me?

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly that is hard to tell. Men know what we have to do to get a girl to commit to us or to sleep w us. I hate to say it but I think the game is played the same way regardless of which way he’s going. Some men will wait months to sleep w a girl then when he finally does he’ll dump her. I think your chances are better if you be come a woman men want.

[Asker]

Yeah ok thanks for this. So would you say how he’s acted is considered a form of cheating? Even though nothing happened physically. I guess I’m finding it difficult to understand why he bothered with all that etc.. when really he knew he had a girlfriend only to reject me anyway.

[Opinion Owner]

That depends on how you see it. If he was your man and he was doing everything you said w another woman what would you think? I think most women would say it is. He’s leading her on. If you don’t then it’s not. But I’m thinking most women would say it is. As for why he did all that, I’m sure he likes you. A lot of men will do the same thing.

[Asker]

Thank you, Yes I would consider it cheating if I were her. I wouldn’t like it if he was my boyfriend. Some of it just seems too close.

Do you think most men would consider it cheating or not really? Interested to know,

Yes I think that was the thing, I felt like he kept doing it and it did feel like leading on, so that’s why I bought up that I liked him and that’s when he said he had a girlfriend.

[Asker]

The other thing is the duration this has been going on nearly 6 months, so it’s not like he occasionally acted this way is what i mean.

[Opinion Owner]

I think a lot of men would say no it’s not cheating. But a number of men would say yes it is. Especially if their girl was doing the same thing w another man. But too a lot of women tend to take things as a man is flirting. I remember one time at work this girl I talked to asked me what’s up w so n so. I said what do you mean. She said I see you always talking to her. Joking a her, smiling, asking where she’s at. I said I’m like that w her because it’s hard these days to find a girl who is just cool. Someone I don’t have to worry about getting called to the “principal’s” office for something I said when I was joking. A lot of women take it as men flirting when he may just be nice. I read so many questions on here about women asking what does it mean if he said hi, he opened the door for me, he picked up my pencil for me, he smiled at me, etc, etc.

[Asker]

Yeah ok I know what you mean. I can definitely see that and I do see how other guys act or flirt with ladies and how it could be misconstrued.

I guess more the way he was with me, it wasn’t as relaxed flirting so to speak, there’s tension there, like maybe sexual tension I don’t know how to describe it, it seemed more serious, like he would get nervous when he was with me, act more serious but still do all these things. He would at times come up to me and kinda of look surprised at me m, stutter a little and then recollect his thoughts and then carry on and I’m a pretty chilled out girl, so it made me wonder. Whereas he’s a confident guy with other guys and girls. It just seemed different.

[Opinion Owner]

So maybe he really does like you. But regardless, he has a girlfriend. You don’t want to be the other woman. Not a good label. Imagine if you had a man who was doing this to you behind your back. How would that make you feel? I’m just saying I’d avoid it for now. If things happen between. You two it’s best to happen w a clean slate.

[Asker]

Yes I completely agree, I definitely don’t what to be the other women. I agree just see what happens or not, but do you think he did like me?

[Opinion Owner]

From what you’re describing it seems as though he does. Just have to wait and see.

[Asker]

Ok thank you I really appreciate your advice

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome

[serious]

That means he was only trying to lead you on.

[Asker]

But why try to do that? What’s the gain?

[serious]

It is very cheap. If he is single and you are too then maybe this is just a type of sadistic pleasure for him.

However, if he is a good guy then the only other possibility is he understood what he was doing with you ( lead you on) was very wrong. He understood you are a very good girl so he stopped and backed off immediately. In this case it is a good thing.

[Asker]

I am single, but when he first acted this way with me I had a boyfriend, then we split up.

Since then this guy kept being like this with me so I told him that I liked him (now that I didn’t have a boyfriend), and that’s when he rejected me but saying he had a girlfriend for the past few months. So it seems like the timing is off every time, one of us has a partner and the other is single and then it changes urgh! It’s messy.

[Heusus]

Lmao, the guy trolled u

[Asker]

You reckon? Why would he do that, I know he thought I was hot.