How do I flirt with men if I'm shy?

[french_omelette]

Any subtle hints I could give them would be nice

Updates

1 y

Also, I never really make the first move and when guys have in the past, I have confused their egos for confidence. I have been told by my mom and my male friend that a lot of times the genuine guy that likes me is too scared to make a move and doesn't, and the guys who want me for my body will a lot of times be the guy to make the move

Updates

1 y

Because of that, I want to be able to make the first move but I don't know how without completely putting myself out there.

[Summeroflove]

Being blunt you snooze you loose a lot of times the type of guys you’re wanting simply aren’t going to approach and the rare occasion one does you’re going to freeze up and not know what to do because you have no experience in really talking to people.

Playing the subtle hint game for some guys they completely miss it as for others who aren’t interested you’re wasting your time you’re probably going to make a man more uncomfortable by flirting over and over then just being direct once.

Rejection sucks but at the end of the day you’re not wasting time on people that aren’t into you. But as for a lot of men some men who are single who you’re into have options. Have women on some occasions make the first move but just also being around other womne plenty of opportunities. If you want someone you’re going to have to put yourself out there. Otherwise you may find it’s the creeps and weirdos and players and fuck boys on those two extremes.

[french_omelette]

you're right, thanks

[Summeroflove]

You’re welcome. It’s hard. It’s scary. It’s Awkward… it’s risky even. But make the effort men who don’t show effort or reject you move on.

[Summeroflove]

But it’s better then sitting around your whole life

[Summeroflove]

Unfortunately it’s true. Many men making the first move especially if you don’t know them well are looking for sex. On one extreme like I said there is the players and fuckboys. The other extreme is the creeps losers etc. there is also fake nice guys who act nice until you don’t sleep with them

[french_omelette]

Yeah

[retarb]

As men we are simple, compliment us and ask if you'd like to go on a date. You can be awkward and fidgety because that's cute. Feel free to ask me all of your whatifs and I'll lay them to rest. Your family and friends are right, making the first move will help you get a man with his nose to the grindstone. Those tend to be the loyal ones.

[french_omelette]

From the comments it seems like men are simple and want me to be blunt, but it's difficult to do that when I overthink everything and I'm scared I'll hurt their feelings by what I say.

[retarb]

Men are used to positive affirmation via vulgar insulting banter. There is very little you can do to hurt a man you don't know.

Surefire way to ask a man out would be a simple one; "Hi, I like you, would you like to go on a date?" This is not creepy, nor weird, nor insulting and only psychopaths would answer you with anything but a yes or a no, so it also works for thinning the herd a little bit.

[french_omelette]

I commented more about it in a different post, but basically I've been best friends with this guy for 5 years and then we have been long distance dating for a year, and he's flying to stay with me and my mom for a week. We haven't seen each other in person since like middle school or something. We are nervous about not liking each other in person after all these years

[retarb]

This is gonna sound fucked up, but treat him like a dog. Cuddle up with him, hug him, pet him, etc.

The bond will grow.

[french_omelette]

I am actually a touchy-feely person and I'm really looking forward to doing that because I'm his first girlfriend and he hasn't experienced that even with his family and I want to make him feel loved. I'm shy because it's my personality but also my first boyfriend in 6th grade, even though it wasn't serious between us left me feeling kind of inadequate to be in a relationship because we were both shy and I didn't think I could ever be confident in a relationship. Past that, I have a lot of trauma from men who feel that they have the right to touch me and I don't want to be touched by even my guy friends unless I say it's okay. Because this guy is my first love I feel like I could do that stuff at least.

[retarb]

Ah, that's slightly more complicated then. You can initiate contact but recieving it unprompted gives you the heebie jeebies. Do you react violently when touched or do you just kinda flinch and dip away?

[french_omelette]

I kind of just freeze up, most of the time men give me a pat on the shoulder or something, they just communicate through touch and I don't want to complicate things or make them feel bad. I have punched my male friends in the face before as a reflex though, and i gave my ex a bloody nose on accident (but deserved)

[retarb]

ah okay, that's simplifies things, when you're cuddling tell him you don't do good with surprised touches. If he does the surprised touches just tell him he startled you, and give him a hug or something. It'll prolly be a while till you can accept not being in control of first contact but that's tolerable, maybe even a little cute

[french_omelette]

will do, thanks

[dustybiker2]

I grew up with a big group of male friends. Being blunt never hurts and men find incredibly refreshing in today's dating pool. Lack of games is welcome. You can always tease them when you know them and they understand you.

[dustybiker2]

Thank you for the MHO
Good luck out there. Have fun.

[french_omelette]

Thanks!

[Nikki1989]

You don't play those childish games. If you seriously want someone, you be direct and tell them upfront what you want.

[ShellyB]

Well this is my opinion and others may see it differently or have different experiences, but, I would not “make the first move” as far as something obvious or undeniable, there are ways you can flirt enough to show interest w/o putting yourself out there in too risky a way. And I know on here most guys and some girls are like “just tell him you like him” but I really think that is risky especially if your female friends are usually around or are also friends with the guys you are interested in.

Ways you can flirt w/o it blowing up in your face: 1- look at him, not staring all the time but enough to notice, 2- smile at him for no reason, 3- smile and appreciate anything he says, laugh at his jokes, 4- stand close to him, if your shoulders touch a little or something, let them don’t move away like you are scared or upset, 5- if the setting makes sense ask. him for little favors like ask him to carry a box from your car to your front door or something.

If he does not like you and someone “busts” you for flirting w him you can just say you were being friendly or trying to set him up with one of your friends, there is not much risk this way and, if the guy doesn’t get that you like him he is kind of clueless. JMO!

[french_omelette]

I appreciate it!

[HawkPerception]

Get over the shyness. I know it doesn't sound like advice you want to hear, but that is the best way. Men love to be approached just as much as women, if not more because we get approached much less in our lives due to societal norms. Men appreciate a women that can initiate. We know how hard it is to approach someone and ask them out. There are a ton of shy guys that feel the same issue

[ohsheeT]

I can teach you if you like it could be a good laugh. And that's what you have to keep in mind It doesn't have.
To be serious, it can be just fine and funny because that brings you closer anyway.
It shows the humor side of you

[AviatorTom]

You don't have to say anything. Use your eyes. Scan his body, slowly, pausing for a few seconds at the good parts. Then look into his eyes for a few seconds before turning away.

[Avicenna]

Where are you meeting these guys you want to flirt with?

[french_omelette]

Any public place

[Avicenna]

Are you comfortable starting a convo on your own? It’s not something everyone feels comfortable doing, but once you have someone’s attention, you can use Nicky language as well as words and simply ask them for their number.

[french_omelette]

I am if I need to ask someone something, but otherwise not really

[Avicenna]

Understandable

[Avicenna]

Make it seem like it’s an ordinary convo

[Kelley1]

Men don't approach if you have your arms crossed and a frown on your face. It is a girl's responsibility to make the first move. You can do that by smiling and saying, "Hi," standing next to him, or going to an 18+ club and making eye contact with guys looking in your direction, then accepting when they ask you for a dance. If you decline, other guys will notice and not risk rejection. That can be tough, because if you dance and you are not interested, he will try and join you, preventing others from asking. Don't allow that.

Most likely, you are not shy around unattractive guys; only guys you are interested in. However, if your standards are too high, they are only interested in sex because for a relationship they can do better. If a guy thinks he is doing well, he wants a relationship. If you think you are doing well, he only wants sex.

[BobbieBoy666]

How to Flirt: 16 Flirting Moves to Try out.
Make eye contact and smile. ...
Wink.
Look at him, look away, look back.
While sitting, cross your legs and jiggle your foot in his direction.
Touch him lightly on the arm, shoulder or neck.
Touch your lips, neck or chest.
Play with your hair, clothing or an object.

[Elliegirl]

Some guys find shyness very attractive and endearing. Let that play into your flirting. Being coy or playing with your hair are typically good moves to flirt and show interest. On your comfort level with him is where you can be a little bolder, touch his arm when you say something to him. Not every time you say something, but it’s a cute way to break the touch barrier. And a shy giggle can go a long way too. Good luck!

[OneViewpoint]

At your age, focus on just having a nice casual conversation with guys. Get comfortable with that. But playful flirting should come naturally once you're comfortable with the other person. A teasing negative comment with a smile. Asking an off the wall question to make them squirm.

[ProbablyClueless]

Don't bother with that subtle hint shit. It doesn't work.

If you want something in life, you have to be willing to get after it.

Smile at guys, laugh at their jokes. Touch them when appropriate. Find excuses to spend time together.

Just generally don't be a spaz and you'll be good.

[Shiprex]

Subtle is NOT the way to consider this. A stomp on the floor in front of a guy would be subtle so he sees you want to get his attention (don't do that suggestion however). So walk up to him and ask his name and then tell him yours and say that you'd like to chat with him.

[MrChinaski]

Two comments.

If someone you find interesting asks you on a date, then why not? It does not hold you to any further commitment.

Love involves making yourself vulnerable in a managed way, step by step. The first vulnerability is asking. If you are going to find someone to marry, if that is an objective of yours, then by that stage you are going to be deeply vulnerable.

[Anonymous]

You probably don't. At least not effectively.

As far as the guys who really like YOU vs. the ones that just want your body. It's usually in the details. For example the exploitative guy will remember your birthday. But the guys who truly likes you will remember the favorite gift you got when you were six, because the story you told him resonated with him.

[exitseven]

I was very shy. There was a girl i really liked and I thought that maybe she liked me too. Still I was too afraid to make a move. She started seeing some other guy so it was either shit or get off the pot. Those were my options.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

You will never know untill you try.

Flirting for girls is very easy, look in their eyes and smile that's it.

I believe if the guy is intrested he will flirt back and you can have a conversation.

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

1) Be blunt. Say would you like to go on a date and make that date inexpensive.


2) Alternatively, you could place his hand on a specific body part of yours and gauge his reaction lol.

[french_omelette]

Haha

[nota4dslotbetkecil]

i found the website that make some tips and trick to doing this things if you wanna know just go to

[french_omelette]

whats the website please?

[Goddess_Germanika]

You use your eyes. I've watched women shamelessly to my husband in some public place like a bar or restaurant. They smile, look at him and the second their eyes touch him they look down shyly and wistfully. They do this a few times until they catch his attention.

Usually, he will go over, point to me explain I am his wife and she would be submitting to the two of us.

But every woman who has wanted his attention used her eyes to get his attention.

[beenherebefore]

Your Eyes. Look at them and smile. Better than anything you could say.

[bowenw]

Smile. Wave. Look at them. Laugh at their jokes. Hang around them.

[CuteBiPaul29]

Well I usually just smile at guys, and that works well most of the time. Sometimes if the guy is really hot I smile at him, and then I stare at his crotch to let him know what I have in mind. I hope this helps. Once you have more experience with guys, you won't be shy anymore and you will radiate confidence.

[LiamJHayden]

Look at him, catch his eye, smile, and then glance away. If he is not a coward he will approach.

[SotiCoto]

If you're female you don't have to. Just be there. Exist. It is sufficient.

[Anonymous]

flip hair, bat an eye, cross legs. non verbal as strong as verbal.

[Geo1970]

Well I flirt with women, why should it be a problem?
So if I am doing it, then most definitely women do it.
There is a huge difference from doing this than taking it further.

[CountryWanderer]

Look at hime until he makes eye contact, then shift your gaze away but smile as you do so

[jahaims]

Why be subtle. Try direct communication like a grown up.

[summerallthetime]

Try casually adjusting your bra strap in front of a guy you like

[summerallthetime]

Playing with your hair, etc.

[Stefan04]

Make more instances where you are alone with him, creating more exposure somewhere private could make him feel comfortable enough to make a move without the pressure of a audience. Maybe mention that you enjoy his company.

[Jltakk]

Make it a practice to be open and ask the guy you find attractive. Guys want clear intentions, not confusion.

[serious]

I doubt genuinely shy people can actually flirt.

[Tempest_Flame]

you have to learn to get over it or you will be old and alone

[wkhan_87]

Just hope the person you trying to flirt with like shy woman , a lot of men like shy woman.

[Anonymous]

i usually go with "you wanna see my tattoos and more?"

[stvigor]

comb your hair with your fingers keep adjusting your hair

[beefcakebradybatson]

Bat your eyes, though I hate typing this because it's SO FREAKING SEXIST !!!

[french_omelette]

It's okay, I appreciate the tip

[SamWinchester058]

Be honest. Walk up to him and say something like "I noticed you from across the room. I think you're cute. May I sit with you?"

[aquamarine321]

This is tricky because not all men enjoys it, while some men can miss use it also

[Anonymous]

Well, I can't flirt with girls because I'm shy.

That's why I prefer dominant girls, who like to take initiative.

[janemarie15]

Using his humor haha, to boost your personality lol

[MOUTHWASHING]

Please do flirt. We need this. We can't always do the first. We suffered too much already

[Finlandman69]

Literally just ask them out or something, I promise they all say yes.

And dont try with the subtle hints nobody understands those.

[Chazmatazz269]

Don’t be subtle.

[Godihateyou]

Take a chance. You can't be shy and happy in this life

[RedInnocent69]

Just smile and giggle, you’ll be fine

[Norakurt]

Me too. I’m not good at flirting.

[Predetor]

If you want to chat about this, you can reach me.

[Shy_Steve]

Just talk to him and ask him questions.

[Mettbltt]

what do you have a boyfriend

[seeyounexttuesday]

stop being shy.

[nl171]

Just be direct

[curiousguy99999]

Hmm just leave shyness.

[chocolatetwopointo]

u dont.