How to deal with an immature, fickle guy?

[siquetumeamaste]

I've been romantically involved with this guy (who I consider my closest friend) since I met him 8 months ago. We had the unfortunate fate of meeting my senior year, his junior year, but we are the same age--so basically, we knew that starting things would end with my graduation.

He is American, but grew up abroad, just like me. He's really intellectual but isn't much for the institution of school, but I wouldn't call him the "bad boy" type--he's more of a "nerd" who's just really not happy with the way his school runs.

As a brief summary of our history, we met on a school trip, flirted/met for coffee for about a month, and then he asked me on a date. We then dated on/off for a couple of weeks because he kept breaking up with me. At this time he was dealing with the issue of realizing that he still had feelings for an old friend (who was/is unavailable), and he didn't think it was fair to me to keep dating, but he did still have feelings for me.

Even during the periods when we are "off", we have still remained best friends and talk everyday, and even when we aren't together, he has never pursued another girl.

At times he has told me he loves me, and I think he has a lot of confusion surrounding that because his parents fight a lot and threaten to get divorced, and in his own words he has "never seen a functional relationship".

As a said earlier, I met him when I was a senior--I was already bound to attend a university in a different country. I'm in college now and we talk twice a day for hours, send each other letters, mail packages, etc. Throughout this period of being apart he has said he misses me a lot and has admitted to feeling something for me, but he goes back and forth on it.

He is now applying to college. Originally he was going to apply to a college in my city (for his major, not for me), but he changed his mind on what he wants to do and is now looking at a school a few hours away. It's possible he won't get though, so he might still end up in the same place as me.

I have always had the notion that he felt something for me even when he denied it or didn't speak about liking me. He is the type of guy who would stop talking to a friend or wouldn't put effort into a relationship if he didn't care for them, and with us, we have stayed so close the whole time.

To the best of my knowledge, I love him. He was also my first boyfriend and I have a lot of history with him--he was the first and the only guy that I feel intensely attracted to.

I don't know if he'll end up being "the one", but I have the strongest feelings for him and that sense that what is between us just isn't over yet. After fights or breaking up, we always come back to each other and I know there is something between us that quite possibly will always be there to some degree.

Is there anything I can do in this situation to make things better, or help with his indecisiveness? It's not an option for me to end things right now, I am just too attached to him.

[emmabee11]

Awww I am so sorry but it really sounds like he is playing games with you, I know it's not what you want to hear but he has told you he loves another girl who is unavaliable and he is just going to keep hoping and waiting on her not properly giving a chance to another girl. He is just going to keep hurting you because even if he tells you he loves you, you will never truly be the one he entirely loves and if you both ever got into anything then you will only be doubting the whole time if he really loves you or if he is just always thinking about this girl all the time. You sound like a lovely girl but do you really want to someone to treat you as their second best all the time? do you really want to fall for someone who doesn't really know what he wants and is always changing his mind going back and forth from one girl to the other?. I wouldn't call that a faithful person to have any sort of relationship with in the long run and he is going away to college, if he really had feelings for you don't you think he would of went to a college near you instead of away from you?. All you are going to see between the both of you is uncertainty and doubts and if he is going away to college then you both really can't see each other when he is further away. My advice would be to move on and find another guy who won't be playing with your head like this all the time and who is actually sure about who he actually has feelings for not constantly confused, he obviously isn't going to get this girl yet he continues to hold on and never moves on, it is his own issues that he needs to deal with and for sure the best thing for him is to go and figgure out what he really wants with his life.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Best Ways to Deal With Your Emotionally Immature Boyfriend

We've all been there. You're in a relationship with someone who just doesn't seem to get it. They're emotionally immature and it's driving you crazy!

Here are some tips on how to deal with your emotionally immature boyfriend:

1. Communicate clearly and directly.

Don't try to beat around the bush or hint at what you want. If you're upset about something, tell him directly. He may not be able to read your mind and he'll appreciate the clarity.

2. Be patient.

Emotional immaturity can be frustrating, but remember to be patient. They may not be able to help it and it's not necessarily their fault.

3. Set boundaries.

It's important to set boundaries in any relationship, but it's especially important when dating someone who is emotionally immature. Let him know what you will and will not tolerate. This will help to avoid any future conflict.

4. Avoid taking things personally.

There's a good chance that your emotionally immature boyfriend is not intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. If he says or does something that upsets you, try not to take it personally.

5. Be understanding.

Try to be understanding of your boyfriend's emotional immaturity. It's not easy to deal with and he may need your support.

6. Seek help if needed.

If you find yourself struggling to deal with your boyfriend's emotional immaturity, it may be time to seek help from a professional.

What Causes Emotionally Immature Men?

It's no secret that emotionally immature men can be a handful. They're the ones who are always causing drama, always seem to be sensitive and always seem to be taking things too personally.

But, what causes these men to be emotionally immature?

There are a few different things that can cause a man to be emotionally immature:

• One of the most common causes is simply a lack of maturity. This can be due to a variety of things, such as not having been in a long-term relationship before, not having had to deal with much responsibility in their life or not having had to deal with much heartache or disappointment.
• Another common cause of emotional immaturity in men is a fear of intimacy. This can be caused by a variety of things, such as a fear of commitment, a fear of being hurt or a fear of being rejected. This fear can often lead to a man withdrawing from a relationship or pushing away anyone who tries to get close to them.
• Finally, another common cause of emotional immaturity in men is a lack of emotional intelligence. This means that they don't necessarily understand their own emotions or the emotions of others. This can often lead to them acting out in ways that are hurtful or confusing to those around them.

If you're in a relationship with an emotionally immature man, it's important to understand what might be causing his behaviour. Only then can you decide whether or not the relationship is right for you.

Can Immature Men Change?

It's a common question: can immature men change?

The short answer is yes, they can. But it's not always easy.

Here's the thing: We all have our moments of immaturity. It's part of being human. But for some men, immaturity seems to be their default setting. If you're in a relationship with one of these guys, you might be constantly wondering if he's ever going to grow up.
The good news is that immature men can change. But it takes effort, and it's not always easy.

Here are a few things to keep in mind if you're trying to help your man grow up:

1. He Needs to Want to Change

You can't change someone who doesn't want to change. So, the first step is to make sure your guy is actually interested in growing up. If he's not, then you might be better off moving on.

2. It's Not Going to Happen Overnight

Don't expect miracles. It's going to take time for your guy to change. Be patient and keep encouraging him.

3. Help Him Set Goals

One way to help your guy mature is to help him set goals. If he doesn't have any direction in his life, he's more likely to stay stuck in his immaturity. But if he has goals to strive for, it can help him focus on the future and start making positive changes.

4. Encourage Him to Be Responsible

Part of growing up is taking on more responsibility. So, encourage your guy to be more responsible in his life. This could mean taking on more responsibility at work, or it could mean being more considerate and reliable in your relationship.

5. Be a Good Role Model

You can't expect your guy to change if you're not willing to change yourself. Be the kind of person you want him to be. Set a good example and he'll be more likely to follow suit.

These are just a few things to keep in mind if you're trying to help your immature guy change. It's not always easy, but it's possible. Just be patient, be encouraging, and be the best role model you can be.

[SayCheez03]

ignore him