She says we need time away to heal but deep inside of me I feel so sad and depressed. Please help me.

We were together for 8 years, we fought and hurt each other so much but we were always really really attached even if we fought. I take most of the blame, I treated her really bad the whole time. She also hid so much from me. 2 months ago, we broke up for good. I fought against her family and it got really bad. She left me and went on to another guy she was already talking to so they dated right away as soon as she left me. For the last 2 months we kept contact to a minimal through emails. She suggested on email 3 weeks ago a place to go get help with my problems and to be a better person, I'm currently going now.2 weeks ago I invited her to concert she said it was too early to hang out and that it wouldn't be fair to me or her boyfriend. She said it was too soon. So I let her have my tickets so she could go with her best female friend. Her friend picked them up frm my mailbox. Well I got hopeful, she thanked me so much for doin that for her. She said her and her female friend had a lot of fun. We were emailing 2 times per week. Well last week I brought up I wanted to give her a present for Christmas and she said it was up to me and that she was also thinking of giving me one. I got more excited. But then today 5 days later, she changes her mind and writes this to me: I guess I was thinking, & it may not be a good idea for us to talk as much or to get gifts for each other now..i really appreciate the thought but we should prb take more time apart to heal & get better and for you to continue getting the great help & be with your family & to keep making better choices..i dnt want us to ruin anything or our potential future friendship by trying to talk too soon - let's heal fully this time & I want you & your fam to be happy so I should give you plenty of time to keep doing great things - esp with school! I'm so proud & if you want to drop off any of the phone bill money or the rest etc let me know, otherwise take care, happy holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and wish you the best always :D

so that's pretty much what she said to me. It seems like she changed her mind. But I wrote back to her and said I understand and that I know we need time to heal. I don't know why she needs it though if she's got a boyfriend right now so I figure she's only doing it for me so that I can heal. Deep inside of me, it's breaking my heart. I miss her so much and it's going to feel so lonely to spend this Christmas without her. Does she only want my friendship in the future based on her email? There's no way to ever win her back once I get better in some months?
She says we need time away to heal but deep inside of me I feel so sad and depressed. Please help me.
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