My girlfriend forgave me but said she needs time to heal?

[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend and I were supposed to attend to a party together, but she eventually called me and said she would come late due to work, and said that I can came earlier.

So I came alone, and waited for her. But she took so long and I started to get drunk. Then I was completely drunk and this other girl got me into a room (I don't even remember how that happen). And I don't know what did she do to me. I only remember that she was on top of me as my girlfriend opened the door and caught us. Then she ran away crying... Then I tried to follow her but I passed out.

I begged her to forgive me, and she did, but she said she needs time to heal and prefer not to talk to me during that time. I've waited 5 days without talking to her. I only text her a bit but she keeps saying she needs time. 5 days seem like 5 centuries to me. I don't understand. She needs time to what? Why is she taking so long? How long does this kind of thing usually last? I love her to death and I swear I'll never get that drunk again.

Usually when a person said they need time, what are they usually doing? I know I'm completely the wrong one and it's all my fault, but I just don't understand what is she doing that she doesn't want to talk to me and said she needs time?

[zavytgod]

Your being oblivious to what she is thinking and what is racing through her mind. That happening and a showing of trust being broken. You couldn't wait for her? You love her but yet, have a couple drinks and I little devil can persuade you into a room. Even at your most drunkest moment, you will remember the one you love. Apparently that didn't run through your head. You have to think of all the things that are running through her head. What if your lying? What if they had sex? You might have by the way. But , what if he has been cheating on me? If he can do that then, does he really love me? You have to think of these situations in a bigger picture and open your mind to the endless thoughts that can go through an emotional women's head. She needs time because she needs to think is that really what I want and need, is that the one I need. Women also want to look for someone that can love them forever. That's why when brake ups happen, they tear the girl apart because she thought it was forever and the dude just wanted a taste out of the many flavors of candy.

[Asker]

Thanks :(

[zavytgod]

Ik , its a rough patch and tricky thing love is... But if she really loves you as well, you guys need to talk and work things out. That's the only way you can move forward.

[Asker]

Thank you (: One thing I'm still worried, is that once trust is broken it's very hard to get it back. Any advice to regain her trust?

[Anonymous]

That must have killed her to see that. I would feel awful if I was her.

You're being impatient. It's up to her when she decides to talk to you again. You don't have the luxury or privilege of deciding that, because you were completely in the wrong here.

If you're sincere, give her space because you care about her and allow her to get her thoughts together.

Honestly, it will be very hard for her to trust you. And I'm sure all of her friends will tell her she can do better (which, not to sound mean, she can). No girl deserves what you put her through.

Good luck but I wouldn't be surprised if she ended it.

[MaskedSanity]

Boy, you dun goofed.

You don't seem to understand that you essentially spat in her face with your actions.

Getting stupid drunk and having some girl ride you has crushed your girlfriend and she can have all the time in the world, if she needs it.

I honestly wouldn't trust you either. I've been stupid drunk at parties as well, but that didn't stop me from pushing some guys away from me. Being pissed does not excuse your behaviour.

Step back and leave her be. You're lucky she forgave you, another girl wouldn't be having that shit.

[Misunderstoodvirgo6]

She hurt and she feels betrayed and disappointed that you got drunk and let things get out of hand. It depends on the person she maybe need a week or weeks or month I don't know really how long she will take but to me hopefully not longer then a week or two im not one to drag it out but she may need to to get her thoughts together all you can do is be patient, understanding and hope for the best

[Asker]

My worst fear is she will talk to her friends about it and they most likely will advice her to break up with me and how she deserve better blah blah blah you know :(

[Misunderstoodvirgo6]

I know I understand that but that what friends do look out for their friends at least good friends do that. You need to just not think to much on it even tho I know itay be hard to do that but you dont know what will happen. But you need to keep busy as best as possible.

[rocelot]

From what you said you got raped buddy.

[Asker]

I would care less about all that stuff bro. I just need my gf.

[rocelot]

That's fucked up. Your fucked up. Screw your selfish girlfriend and report the bitch who raped you to the police.

[ceciled684]

Well if she stays with you, she now has to live with what she saw. It's one thing to find out you got cheated on but to see it I'm sure is devastating. I really doubt the relationship will be ever the same again so you might need to break up and start all over but with a different girl. Then off course promise to yourself that you won't ever drink pass your limitation or actually quit drinking.

[ceciled684]

The fact that you're being very impatient by asking how long it takes and stating how 5 days seems like 5 centuries, speaks volume of your character. She's really hurt and it's really up to her to decide how long it will take.

[Asker]

I know it depends on how long she takes it's her decision and I respect that, I just wanna know usually how long that process take. And the fact I state 5 days seem like 5 centuries assert how much I miss and love her.

[ceciled684]

I see. Then you need to give her time.

[Asker]

alright thanks.

[Anonymous]

All I can say is your girlfriend deserves all the time in the world to recover from that. She's forgiven you. I wouldn't even have done that. I'd have dumped you right then and there. Rash decision, yes, but that's my instinct.

If she hasn't talked to you in 14 days, then you can start to worry. Until then, stop bugging her. You're not helping the situation at all.

[Anonymous]

I'm dealing with this same issue with the only difference that I wasn't actually caught in the act but accidentally admitted it all to my bf's cell.
I think at best you can give her time and hope she forgives you in time. I also hope my bf doesn't decide to break up with me either.

[PrismFemme]

My guess is during that time she must be talking to her female friend for their opinions on this matter and most are probably going to advice her to break it off and how she deserves better.

[Asker]

I know I know it and it's my worst fear so far because I know her friends most likely will tell her to break up with me blah blah what do I do now? I really don't wanna break with her.

[PrismFemme]

Honestly, I don't blame them if they advice her that and she breaks up. Wouldn't you advice one of your friends to break up too if a gf cheated on him? The issue is that it's no longer about you not wanting to break up with her. It's up to her to decide now. The ball is in her court now.

[Asker]

ok if she does that then I will accept the fact that I'm wrong first, but hopefully she doesn't. And yes I will blame them none of their business I usually keep my mouth shut when my friends ask me if they should break up, because guess what, I know nothing to advice, so do they.

[zombiebabe]

she is deeply hurt dude... it will be really difficult to trust you again!

[Asker]

I'm aware that once trust is lost it is difficult to be back the way it is. That's why I did ask a question how to regain trust... I hope that time will heal everything. Any advice how to regain her trust? :( I never cheat when I'm sober though...

[zombiebabe]

show her that you really love her

[Anonymous]

she needs time to heal... and try to understand why all this happened. to analyze whether or not she can still trust you. sometimes you just need time away when ure hurt soo that u can breathe and find and re-ensure ur self-worth. don't sweat it.. jus be the good guy tht u say u are n she'll be able to trust u again!

[Asker]

Thank you.