Is being nice and humble attractive to a woman?

[Anonymous]

I went to my usual hangout spot this past Friday, it's a restaurant with a bar and I was at the bar talking with the bartenders who are really cool with me and they hook me up with discounts for food and drinks. I was there to watch some basketball games and this lady asked if the seat next to me was taken and I said no and she sat next to me and told me her friends were coming as well, and I told her that's cool. About 20 min later her friends show up standing next to her and I'm just minding my own business watching NBA basketball. So she asks the bartender" where are all the nice guys at the bar and the bartender tells her you're sitting next to him and the bartender was telling her that I'm good guy and very humble and she tells the bartender and his co-worker which is a female bartender that " being a nice guy and humble is unattractive and boring" and she looked at me and keep in mind I'm just watching basketball and she told me" sorry that's what you are" and I looked at her and said"what"? So she told me that the bartenders told me you're a good and humble guy and I told them, you're boring and unattractive and she said that when you live in Vegas, that's the norm. I just told her " oh really" then just kept watching basketball. Anyways, what do you think?

[Olivia9]

That girl sounded lke she was being sarcastic and bitchy to put a show on for her friends. I can't stand cocky arrogant guys not only because they are obnoxious but because they are usualyl very pretentious and dumb. Anyway I think that guys that are humble are usually the ones that are really smart and have a lot going on intellectually and the good guys are the ones that everyone is looking for. Some girls prefer bad boys that are "exciting and dangerous" but usually get burned and others like me prefer guys that are "safe, humble and kind" and that usually ends up well even though others might consider a stable relationship "boring". Keep on being a good humble guy and you will end up on top. : )

[Asker]

Thanks, I've always tried to be humble, that's how I was raised. You made an interesting point how some girls prefer bad boys and they usually get burned, if that's the case why would girls go for bad boys in the first place, if they pretty much know what the end result would be?

[Olivia9]

Because it feels good in the moment I suppose. I mean people eat fried dough even though its really unhealthy. I mean I think people mistake safe with boring so automatically they think an unstable relationship is exciting. Who wouldn't want excitement? I don't know about you but I sure don't think of every possible outcome of my current actions especially when my feelings are involved. Also players and guys like that really know how to work you and make you feel really desirable so its tempting

[Asker]

you're right, everyone wants excitement in a relationship. You mentioned about players, as a woman, can you spot them right away?

[Anonymous]

It is attractive, to the right woman for you. It won't be attractive to some girls because they want someone cocky and arrogant guy that treats them like they're nothing. But where does that end up? Nowhere nice that's for sure.

Being nice and humble is quite rare these days, that doesn't mean it is unnattractive, theyre wonderful qualities to have and I admire you for being that way!

Theres plenty of girls out there who will appreciate this and love you the way you are. And those women that you attract will be ones that will have a meaningful relationship.

[Asker]

thanks for the comment:-)

[acka72]

I would have said to her, "I suppose that that is your problem and not mine if you find nice humble guys boring."

[Asker]

I could of said something back besides "oh really" but you know what, it's not worth my time to deal with people like her.

[Anonymous]

I would of been like "let me show you just how boring nice a humble can be!" haha

Being nice and humble IS attractive. Take the actor Ein somerhalder. Yeah he's got the looks, but if you watch his interview videos, chicks are commenting on how humble he is and compassionate for animals and people.

The problem with people who are nice and humble is they ARE ALSO boring. "typical nice guy" You gotta have more than that, but if your do, then having those first 2 traits adds extra points. Think between being a nice guy and a jerk. Having only the good traits from each character. I recommend checking this out if you need those other traits:

THIS: link

[gaggleii]

Well, you should have proved her wrong by firing a witty comeback at her. I mean, by saying "oh, really", you pretty much just confirmed what she thought about you.

But to answer your question, being nice and humble are attractive qualities to have, but they need to be balanced by having a bit of an edge whether it's confidence, a bit of subtle swagger, intelligence, wit, etc.

[Asker]

Yeah I could of, but if she thought of me as unattractive and boring, so be it. She could think whatever she wants, but I know deep down what I'm worth

[Anonymous]

I think being nice and humble attracts everyone. Though it depends on your intention of being nice. If you're only nice to score chicks than it's a douchy thing to do. You'll be seen as a fake. If you're generally nice and humble than it's cool. People will like you no matter what gender or age.

In your story she's either trying to get a rise out of you or just being nasty. She could also be drunk.

[Anonymous]

yes, both guys I liked in my life and fell hard for them were the nice and humble type.

[Kristy-S]

Yes it is attractive! but it is boring if your TOO nice.

[Asker]

I admit I'm a nice guy BUT I have boundaries, I make sure that I don't get taken advantage of