Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Tangible, this reminds me of the question you asked a while back asking if there is something wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you! I've been through this, attracting girls that I diidn't like and wasn't able to connect with the girls I liked and two things come to mind when I think back at those times:
1.) I was kind of lost as to who I was as a person. Every person is lost as some point in time regarding who they are, where they are going in life, etc. Its just how we humans are and it generally occurs early in college and sometimes throughout. College helps us identify who we are, and when we look back we can see how much of a different person we are, but while we are in college, it just seems like we are lost souls and it makes it difficult for us to connect with people.
2.) I didn't really know what it was I lked in a girl. I had a general idea, but attracting certain types of guy's that you like requires you to know what you like and dislike very specifially. It makes things so much easier and gives you a lens through which to look through when it comes to looking for guys that you like. I had to learn this the hard way (which actually may be the best way). I dated a handful of women, not knowing what it was I liked in girls, and each one led to me not being intereted after a few months or rough breakups beause they all turned out to be girls that were into partying and drinking, etc. and I'm not into all that. Being with those girls gave me a clear realization as to what I'm willing to accept and not accept in a girl I'm dating and what kinds of girls I like. After being with all of them, I have a very specific idea of the girls I want to be with, and this makes weeding out other girls very easy.
I'm assuming you are in college, get involved! Its really, really important. The more you get involved on campus, the more college will be enjoyable and you will come in contact with many different people and realize how diverse humans can be. The more new people you come in contact with, the more likely you are to running into a guy that you like and connect with. That said, develop a clear definition of the kinds of guys that you like, and then find places and programs that those kinds of guy's would be a part of.
Shy, quiet girls are the best so don't hate on yourself for being like that! And we are all weird! I've been with the perfect 10 party girls that are super high strung and I'll only be with the shy girls now because they're the best for having meanigful, lasting relationships with. Just realize, because you're a quieter person, guy's might be intimidated by you. You don't want to be with a guy who is intimdated by you so that weeds out the cowards for you. Thinking there is something wrong with yourself isn't helping you either lol. Keep working on being more sociable and open, they best way to connect with the opposite gender is to open yourself up. Hope that helped, shoot me a message if you need more advice!
love this answer, really well thought out and informative. I can identify a lot with what you're saying and feel like a lot of it applies to me too.and yeah I think getting involved is really key... which I haven't done a great job of because for now I'm at a community college. but when I transfer I plan on branching out a lot more that way. thank you so much, especially for number one because I think that's the kicker for me
You're welcome! Glad I could help. Once you transfer and get involved in university life, it will definetely be much easier to meet new, different people all the time. Just know you're not alone, we all go through this, there's nothing wrong with you.
i think you're cute enough to get the guy you want.
I had the same problem before I met my boyfriend. I always attracted guys who had multiple kids from multiple women, had lots of baggage, guys who did drugs, or guys who were verbally and physically abusive. I never dated any of them, but those were the types that would always seem to think that I HAD to like them.
I'm someone who knows what they want out of life. I've never done drugs, never had kids, I had nothing in common with these guys. It was frustrating. I just wanted someone like me who I could relate to and get along with.
It's hard, but you just have to keep trying. You are shy, so you need to work on that. Try opening up, try initiating a conversation.
I'm sure guys are interested in you, but they are afraid of being rejected. A simple smile is enough sometimes to get a conversation started. Be friendly, and try to relax when you are talking with people.
It takes a while to get over shyness, I know because I was once painfully shy. I never wanted to say anything to anyone for fear of saying the wrong thing or making someone upset. Sometimes you just have to let that fear go and go with the flow. You end up hiding the really amazing person you really are when you fail to open up and let it out :) Don't be afraid to let people know who you are or to talk to people. Most people are fairly nice.
hahaha I can relate to you so much in a big way because I've been attracted (perhaps not seriously but still) to those same kinds of guys... married, kids, been arrested, the works. but I'd never actually consider dating them. I liked the attention they gave me which is why I have bad taste in men
I wasn't attracted to them, I seemed to be a magnet for those type of people. I could never understand why because I was the most opposite of them I could think of :S
I get what you mean now. it wasthe same way for me, and then I ended up being somewhat attracted to them despite them being the worst possible choices. you probably attract them because you seem like you have it all together- unlike them.
You're a pretty girl. You don't need to stress; there's nothing wrong with you. Usually when this happens its because you are shy so you don't establish that there is that physical attraction there in the initial stages of the relationship. Consequently it becomes purely friendly. The same thing happens to me allllll the time. Trust me one day when you least expect it someone awesome will pop into your life. This usually happens when you stop caring about pursuing guys. Trust me the universe works in mysterious ways.
I agree and thank you
i've the same problem, but be confident with yourself cause trust me your so pretty and you can nail him! live your life normally and if he wants you he will do anything to get you don't make for him excuses (u know what I mean?)...so buttom line your pretty, there are plenty of guys out there that would want you, the right one will come just be patient
thank you, that's really nice! and good advice
Opinion
19Opinion
I think it's safe to say your looks aren't the problem - unless you're trying to attract goths or metalheads or something, in which case your style could be a bit misleading. If anything though, the guys probably assume you're the one who's out of *their* league.
How sure are you that there's no mutual interest? Is it possible you just really suck at reading the signs? Do you even *try* to flirt?
There's nothing wrong with being a little weird - most guys love a bit of quirkiness (contrary to popular belief, we actually don't like boring, airhead bimbos). The worst thing is if you're just really quiet all the time - guys can't be attracted to you if you don't even let them get to know you.
How well do you know these guys that you're attracted to? Are they close friends, who maybe feel like you've put them in the "friend zone"? Are they guys you never even spoke to, but just like the look of? Are they already in relationships, or just coming out of one, or already fixated on someone else?
lol I always say that I don't know how to flirt... sounds like a problem to me
a lot of guys take my being nice as flirting/the wrong way... it's harder to flirt with the guys I'm attracted to though. I guess I'm probably more quiet around them, but only because it seems to me that they're just not attracted to me so I figure why bother. some of them have been friends, some have been admired from afar, but for the most part they're as single as I am, just not interested =/
I am in the same boat and like to think of it as life's way of telling me that I am meant for somebody even better who may happen to come along later on down the road. You just never know in life what to expect and who will become a part of it. I seem to not always experience mutual attraction with the girls I really like, and girls probably feel the same when they like me but I don't feel the same way. It happens to everyone. You're not doing anything wrong and you don't have any problems, unless you consider being a human being a problem! :p
truth! good way to look at the situation.
Being incongruent with yourself can sometimes cause these issues. Not sure if this applies to you. The scenario is someone saying I'd like someone that's open and honest. The question to that person is, are you open and honest when you meet someone? If not, you are incongruent and the dates you have pick up on that.
Be yourself and put out the same energy you would like to gain from a man. Also, don't concentrate on getting the right guy. When you stop your concentration you will open yourself up to more options.
I see what you're saying with this, it makes a lot of sense and seems to apply to me. thanks for your insight :)
I'm in the same boat here myself so I understand.
All tough I have no idea why you wouldn't be able to get the guys you want. You seem really nice and looking at your picture really good looking to.
A few of my friends have told me lately that I should keep a more positive attitude when I meet a new girl I like and that it would make a difference. But I've been burned so many times I just have a negative attitude every time straight out. And even a couple of times I've tried to keep a positive attitude or at least an open mind the outcome was exactly the same.
I don't know maybe it's some kind of weird cosmic balancing act. Some have more than they want or need and others have less to keep the scale balanced.
Hope it tips in your favor soon. :)
on the real keep staying positive I feel like you just need to let everything work itself out once in awhile :D some things just need to happen without our forcing it to I guess?
Are we talking about looks or just not connection. Cause if it is looks then that happens a lot. Unless she is obviously attractive or has a really great personality most girls don't get noticed by the really hot guys. IT is like if you are in the 70% percentile in terms of looks and you are aiming for guys in the 85% percentile, you need to give a good impression to make up for it. For example, being extra funny, being cool, being sexy. It is all about how you carry yourself. If you are really shy and awkward it actually hurts your percentile. Like if you are an 70% you might fall to a 60% and if you are really snobby and have bad hygeing you might fall even further to the 40% percentile. So now you are noticing all the guys approaching you are in the bottom half of the spectrum and you are wondering why you can't get that fit abbrocrombie and fitch model.
You get the gist...
good points brought up here that make a lot of sense. I agree I think how you carry yourself accounts for a lot and I have some work to do in that case
I have the same problem too and this may be because you are attracted to people who are different from you, as much people are going to deny it and cry about it, LEAGUES DO EXCIST! So you gotta look at the people you are attracted to, do you have the social value that they have? This is the most important thing about leagues, people tend to date people that provide the same social value. Althouth beauty does play a role, it isn't as important as social value, none the less, are you as attractive as the men you are attracted to? I mean I did look at your pircture, you are pretty but not a bumbshell (sorry had to be realistic) more like 7/10, if you are going for guys who are 10/10 be ready to get a dissapointed dating life. To make your life easier, don't focuse so much on looks and try to focus more on guys who treat you well and make you happy, I am not saying to ignore looks, but make it a second priority if you know what I mean.
I'm definitely not going for guys that are 10/10. at least, I don't think so. a lot of times I like guys that my friends think aren't good enough for me... but I don't see it that way lol. it's all a matter of taste I guess. and a lot of times people tell me they think that I could do better but eh. it's definitely not all about looks. it's more attitude and humor that's most attractive for me but I see what you're saying
the same thing happens to me.
im tired of it.
i see other people attract the person they're attracted to.
i have yet to try this, but I've noticed that they somehow try to befriend the person they like. they establish a friendship, and eventually start dating. I just haven't figured out how to do this. its really difficult to do. I'm really shy too so I don't know how I'm ever going to do this.
ugh it's the same for me. good strategy, can't figure out how to make it work for me. good luck, you can do it!
psh weirdness has nothing to do with it...im weird too! just keep being yourself and meeting new people through the people you already know and c if maybe that works out better?...hm I think I need to take my own advice ha ha because I'm having the same problem but I like them, they like me and I just freak out and don't do anything about it but hey good luck!
thanks :) you too!
Same with me girl ha ha I'm in the same bout I feel like their is something wrong with me everyday. Like all the girls I like are above my level. It seems like they woould be reasonable for me to date them but they don't even notice me. No there is nothing wrong with you and I would hope there would be nothing wrong with me but girls have told me a couple times before that I was ugly lol
No bro, don't feel that way, your abs leave all the chicks speechless, that's what it is.
ha I wish lol I don't walk around shirtless at school
I agree with GuyAdviceFromGuy
What? When you approached them they just rejected you? Or you just think they don't like you? What kind of guys do you like? If they are shy, chances are they don't show that they like you. If they are outgoing then it's just bad luck. They were probably all taken :P
As for relating, get into sports, it's the quickest way. Large team, meet lots of cool ppl, guys notice you, pure awesomeness.
I guess I just get the vibe that they don't like me and I don't try to force myself on them or try to change their minds by talking to them, I just let it be if I get that feeling from them. and usually I like outgoing guys that to my knowledge aren't taken :(
You named the problem yourself, you're shy. Now their is nothing wrong with this but you have to look more approachable. If you see a cute guy do you really think he's going to approach you if you aren't smiling and look all nervous? So next time you see a cute guy smile at him. Not necessarily a full blown grin but more of a closed lip type smile. You could just walk by him and sort of give him a quick smile right before you pass him and then maybe compliment his shirt or something and see if he opens you up and starts talking. I'm a shy guy myself and I tend to feel uncomfortable when I'm out in public so I know how hard it can be to look friendly and approachable.
I get what you're saying with this, this is probably mostly my problem. it's hard to change but I'm working on it :)
I'm in the exact same boat (well, except I'm trying to attract women...), or in most cases, they're already attached. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I think if I did, I wouldn't be in the same boat any more lol. If it's any consolation, (assuming the pic is really you) I think you're attractive.
Have you shown interest in him? Has he realized that you're a viable girlfriend? Try and hang out with him if you work together or have class together. Be the one to initiate conversation if he won't.
Also, I find that relationships with "some" mutual interests and a lot of different interests are usually more jovial because you connect with those mutual interests but you create adventures with your different interests.
It's probably to do with the fact you behave differently around the guys you like in comparison with the guys you don't, and that's not necessarily in a good way e.g. You're more likely to smile at a guy you don't like rather than the one's you do link
You're less likely to be yourself around a guy you find attractive.
SO TRUE! I find myself doing this a lot. because you don't care what guys you don't like think so it's easier to talk to them and be friendly but around the ones I like, the words seem so much harder to say. you hit the nail on the head
based on your picture you are really cute, you should have no problem getting a hot guy. But you said you were shy, and that will hold you back. My advice, go find a girl friend of yours who is good at picking up guys and go out with her hunting for men. You're very cute, I'd totally date you, and I'm hot, so you should have no problem finding men. good luck.
thanks for your answer, that's good advice. I have a few friends that this could work with (sadly most of them have boyfriends and don't understand) but thank you
remember, when a girl has a boyfriend she is still on the hunt for someone better, so don't let their relationship status hold you back, they still want to go and find me, just tag along, watch, learn, ask questions, they will teach you everything you need to know.
You have the material(looks), you just need to chip away the rough edges(adding game), and they wil teach you about game.
guys are not attracted to you? hmm...are they in the closet? From personal experiences, a guy will like any girl remotely attractive, and will even settle for one not so much so, but hope his friends won't hear about it. I think the problem is with them not you.
haha thanks for your answer, I appreciate it.
you're damn cute so any dude that rejects you must be crazy ;)
*Face Palm* ...
I have no help for you but I can understand where your coming from. :/ makes me feel like I'm just the imbetweener who never going to find someone *sign*
Sorry for the downer.
i thought I was the only one! and everyone's weird, trust me! but you could try to not be as shy as you are and get involved in sports or clubs. You'll meet guys there!
same here! although I'm kinda awesome at picking the guys who are still into their ex and you wouldn'T believe how much that sucks -.-
haha I've been there as well
the same here and it makes me very confuse and it got nothing to do with looks caus as far as I nkow I am an atractive girl but I can't put my finger on the probleme but I am trying so good luck
sorry but, you don't always get the person you love
wish you luck anyways :)
sorry couldn't give you any advice about that.
Shy people are often drawn to outgoing people, but its not very often that they are a good match. Just keep branching out -- also try relating to other quiet people, not just the really funny, charming ones.
Same here, I always attract women I have no sexual interest in.
its had to get a person to love you because he or or she want to know what type of person are you so the only way is to understand that person because they use this website to help them for exple me
You should just ask out the guy that you want to go out with...
Beats me, I have the same issue.
join the club
crap someone beat me to the punch...lol...
JOIN THE CLUB SISTER
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions