Which is worse - regret or rejection?

[ash2424]

which is worse regretting not telling someone you like them or telling them and them rejecting u? I think the regret is better because if you tell them and they reject you then you have rejection and regret about telling them.

[MrOracle]

People THINK rejection is worse, because they allow themselves to take the rejection in an extremely personal way and let it crush their ego. Part of that is because they take the chance of asking someone so rarely that they put WAY too much importance on each individual instance.

If they instead just came out and ASKED when they liked someone, without waiting around, spending days or weeks working up the nerve, and making a big production about it, the rejection, if it happened, would be a much smaller deal that's easier to handle. And people having THIS attitude would end up asking/telling a lot more people how they feel, which means they'll get used to dealing with rejection without letting it cut them to the core, AND they'll be more relaxed and confident which will make a big dent in their rejection rate, because they'll come off as FAR more attractive when they approach.

Regret doesn't seem like a big thing at first, but it eats at you, day in and day out, for a LONG time, and when you're old, you won't regret the rejections, but you'll damn sure wish you had taken FAR more chances to be happy. That I can ASSURE you.

[BloodTearsAndGold]

I think rejection is probably the worse, while you might regret not asking him or her out at least you can play around with the idea in your head, at this point there's always hope of something in the future, you can tell yourself they were interested in you which again leaves things on a more hopeful note. Where as rejection is plain and simple. No. That's it,. in that two lettered word is enough of a catalysis to make people kill themselves, binge drink and/or do drugs, even on the more milder side of potential consequences you still feel like a worthless piece of sh*t.

Regret while still a horrible feeling has a hopeful tone to it whilst rejection is just an emotional kick to the balls/punch to the titties type feeling of worthless not good enoughness.

[Anonymous]

I think the regret is worse because you'll never know if they do or don't feel the same way I think it's just a risk worth taking.

[MothmanIsMagic]

Regret for sure. Otherwise you'll forever wonder IF it could have worked. With rejection, at least you'll know.

[ellenbaby]

regret, at least with rejection you know where you stand

[TedStar]

Regret is the worst thing ever. I personally need that closure or the "what ifs" will eat away at me. You can't realistically win them all. Rejection will happen sometimes but at least you know where you stand. Not telling someone how you feel about them seems selfish and safe/cowardly. Maybe I just prefer reality than the ideas I make in my head. I don't think I'd be ashamed of my feelings to the point where I'd regret telling the girl. Why would anyone regret telling someone that they make them feel special?

[TheDigitalSaint]

Not telling them is wors IMHO. Not knowing what they think about you when you still like them is worse. While rejection is no picnic, at least you know it is time to move on and find another person who is, which ultimately is more helpful than still pining away after someone else you can't have.

[ash2424]

yea but when I have to see the guy everyday, the risk just isn't worth the rejection

[TheDigitalSaint]

Sounds like you aren't coping too well with the "oh my gosh, what does he really think of me" thing either. Are you sure that question isn't eating you up? You could be missing out on a great opportunity. Even if he doesn't like you like that, don't you realize that means you can start chasing other boys? Life is what happens while opportunities pass you by if you don't take advantage of them. :)

[ash2424]

its definitily eating at me but if I get rejected by him it would be way worse then it already is and least I can still hope

[TheDigitalSaint]

What a huge waste of a chance IMHO. If he's already shown signs of liking you, why aren't you trying to flirt back? All these guessing games are for people that remain permanently single. That doesn't sound like that is your goal, so I suggest you change your strategy.

[ash2424]

idk what imho means. I try flirting back but I'm really bad at reading the guys I like, I get very clouded. any other guy I can read just fine but not the ones I really like.i don't want to make him uncomfortable if he doesn't like me because I've been there before.

[TheDigitalSaint]

IMHO = in my humble opinion

How about you ask some of your co-workers that you trust whether or not he's said anything about liking you or not? Do some homework first, then make the jump.

[ash2424]

i don't work with him, he's my neighbor, way worse then coworker, at least I could change jobs then

[JohnnyTheBoy]

Interesting question! In my opinion, rejection is worse, because you have a definite no (as opposed to an indefinite no with regret). Studies in psychology show that most of our brains work this way---that the presence of a negative (punishment, or rejection) is worse than the absence of a positive (lack of reward, or regret).

[ash2424]

i totally agree, ill just keep my feelings to myself! my friend was said no regret is worse, I'm like not to me.ur are you like in psychology classes or just a hobby?

[JohnnyTheBoy]

I remember that from freshman year in college ... but the same concept applies in medicine (I'm a young doctor), as well as to relationships. For example,patients will tell their doctors what they want to hear for fear of rejection (ie that the medication they are taking is working well for them, even though it has side effects that they can't tolerate), rather than address the difficulty they are having and get help (the "reward," which isn't always guaranteed) to actually address the problem.

[ash2424]

well its seems like your going to be a very good doctor, you have a good bedside manner.ive had this problem with doctors before

[JohnnyTheBoy]

You are very kind and I'll do my best :D

[kisaragi5TH]

Regret is worst because with rejection, at least you tried and got a definite answer if someone is attracted to you or not.

With regret, you didn't even try.

Rejection can help you grow into a potentially stronger person. People who have problems with rejection are probably sensitive with the word and notion of "NO". Either telling people 'no' or not taking it from others.

[Prof_Don]

I think there are more negatives in regret.

Why?

Because the "what ifs" are in your control.

If you showed interest and got rejected...then the "what ifs" are in control of the other person.

[Hanzo]

Rejection...because that leads into regretting asking them in the fist place.

Come on, would you really regret getting a yes instead of a no?

[Settingemstraight]

regret