Can too much rejectiom turn a man bitter?

Question

I say men because men like me (nerdy, geeky, shy and a loner) get rejected when by women when you come out of your shell and I've given up hope because impressing women is taking up all my energy and doesn't feel worth it anymore. I've tried everything and literally mean EVERYTHING! Nothing works at all for me. I've was once a nice guy who enjoyed helping people, hanging out with people and going places. But now, after being rejected so much by women I feel like giving up, I've become a bitter mean person and stay to myself. There are days I believe no woman likes me at all and I'm not gonna make them like me because getting a girlfriend is downright impossible for me. Can too much rejection turn a man bitter? I've been rejected by so many women, I don't even bother talking to them because I know they won't like me.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Most people have been rejected. Many of us often. The women you DESIRE MOST may know less rejection. You want them to lower their standards to accept you, to give you as much sex and affection as you crave...whether they actually love you or not. The fact that you talk all about IMPRESSING women instead of getting to know them makes me think that this is the case. You don't want a girlfriend, you likely want a certain type of woman -- the ones that every other guy is chasing and has a line of suitors.

But there are many, many women who are invisible to men. Men don't include them when they are figuring in what life is like for women, because they are too fat, too ugly, too weird, too old, too needy, too (reasons she's undesirable) ...

There are still others who are rejected by some guys and accepted by others. This is most PEOPLE. Some of them grow bitter and angry and are even less attractive to men. Some, though, work hard to put things in perspective and start working on the things that are hurting their dating life. Do they need to lose weight? Do they need to stop being an alcoholic mess? Do they need to learn how to be kind instead of competitive, despite their executive job? Do they need to stop projecting six months into the future on the first date? Do they need to start looking for good qualities in guys who are chubbier, geekier, shorter or balder? Do they have to date guys who have kids, even though it's not ideal? TONS of women do not get dates easily and have to reassess what is going on. If not, there wouldn't be a multimillion dollar industry about how to find a good mate that is exclusively for women (and most of it talks about how to make yourself better).

Right at this point, you don't want to date. You just want to hurt women for not easily giving you the reward you feel entitled to. It's women's fault that you don't like to help people? Really, bro? Stop dating so you can lose that attitude. Do things because it makes you feel like a good person, or makes you feel connected to humanity. Help dudes if you resent women that much right now. Volunteer to help the elderly or to tutor a boy. Etc. But don't try to blame women for making you mean.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Too much rejection for either sex can turn a person bitter. I'm a girl who gets rejected, so I'm thinking of giving up. Although I wouldn't say I am bitter towards men in general considering that most of my friends are guys, but I just feel bitter towards myself. Either I am doing something wrong, or I am way too ugly. So I've started to get a lot of self-hatred because I get so sick of being the single one. I know a girl who is a meth head, and you can see it in her face. She is not attractive at all anymore, but she gets men. I'd think the combination of the meth thing, and not being pretty at all would be a turn off but it isn't. Not only that, she doesn't work and she's in debt because of her habit. She is dating this really hot guy at the moment.

I'm a hard working girl who is not in debt, I own a car and in the process of buying a condo but I can't get into a relationship. So I must be doing something wrong that isn't only because of my looks. I know I'm not pretty, but I do try hard to look good.I work out, I wear make up and whiten my teeth. I'm well groomed. And I get rejected by any kind of guy. I don't go for hot guys because I don't stand a chance, but I do try and meet men.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You're giving women all of the power to feel good about yourself.

It's making you feel like dirt and making you angry at women for not giving you the reward you feel entitled to.

Start thinking about other things that make you happy that don't have anything to do with affirmations from women, getting laid or the status of impressing someone. If you really liked those things ... you wouldn't only do them as ways to get women.

If you really like helping people, hanging out with people, going places ... a woman is not necessary for any of these enjoyments. Maybe it's time to take a break from trying to date and to start enjoying the things that make you feel happy.

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

I can see why all the rejection can turn a man bitter. I've felt bitter at certain times myself. Most of the time, I just say "time to take a break from dating." Sometimes it's a month or so, other times, half a year or more even.

The thing is, not a lot of girls out there are actually relationship material. Especially nowadays. Look at what online dating profiles ask people. It's about income levels, education degrees, whether or not you own a house, vs an apartment or live with someone else. These are things people are looking at when they date someone and it is sickening because it's all based on material possessions and not about the person in general.

It's not that no girl likes you, it's really that they are not able to hold their end of the responsilities of being in a relationship with you and they can see your qualities are too strong for them right off the bat. They don't mind all the special treatment, but when it comes to them treating you the same way, they can't do it. So they'll flock to another guy and when the same thing happens, they'll flock again, and again, and again.

Don't waste time on these girls. They'll take whatever they can from you and throw you away and do their best to make you look like the bad guy.

Easy example, you go out to dinner, enjoy a "great conversation" and she pretends to be interested something you like but she doesn't. You pay the bill and never hear from her again. While you're moving on, she's on the phone with her friend "agonizing" over how "incompatible" you two are and how "horrible" the date was when you're the one who was stuck paying the bill anyway and she told you she'd give you a time for the next date and never gives you one.

Save yourself the aggravation. Only put in effort to people who have already shown you that they are people who have some sort of values and are capable of returning a favor.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Look, these girls have no idea what they're talking about. Everything you said is basically my words from my life. I've walked in your shoes (Shit, and still am!).

It has NOTHING to do with "trying hard", or "placing your happiness in women."

Actually, romantic relationships is a HUMAN NEED, it is NEEDED for happiness. I know it's hard for you women to understand, because you women are the selectors.

When girls are lonely, it is because they dismiss guys they don't feel are good enough.

When guys are lonely, it's because we are denied.

So many women make comments about the guys here complaining, angry with women...No sh*t! It really hurts to be rejected your entire life. Of course you're going to have some resentment!

Being denied your entire life doesn't feel good. Love is a basic human need. Unfortunately, you have two options: 1) Stick to who you are as a person and be lonely, waiting to find a woman who's either desperate or the rare find that a woman relates to you. Or 2) Throw who you are in the trash and align yourself with traits that women find attractive.

XxDre09xX · Answer

Those Feels, I know them,

I should just completely give up.

The losing 50 pounds, and starting to lift didn't help.

The getting into certain hobbies/interests/movies/tv shows I know girls I like are into didn't help, like watching entire twilight saga.

The trying to ignore them and act like you don't care when they are around didn't help.

Not being nice/friendly, basically alpha mode didn't help.

Showing interest in girls my league and even a couple points lower didn't help, it actually worsened it.

If I go to the bars with my roommate and his friends, it's just to drink, I avoid talking to any girls there completely, I like completely move away from girls and specifically not look at them or try to not draw attention to myself if they're around. I would pretend I'm texting on my phone for an hour or so. Same thing with classes, I just avoid talking to girls at all possible now, I always get the disgust look after I open my mouth or if they look at me..

I mean I would consider myself extremely bitter toward any female I see whatever, no matter age, height, looks or anything, I'm just like "F***..."

krisann · Answer

Ok there was a comment about a dating site if your desperate.  I don't buy that at all you don't need to be desprate there are tons of people doing this now, so I would try that and go from there.  I think you might have a low self esteem because of all the crap you have dealt with.  Hold your head up work out stay healthy, and someone will love you for you.  There are so many superficial people out there.  I have found love and lost love so many people take you for granted that makes you want to give up. I try and remember its them not me it is so hard to do, but you have to get up and try don't give up.  Learn the things that make you a good person don't turn bitter or rude and someone will come along. Don't look for the wrong people just be patient and love yourself.

jasonwason1989 · Answer

just go out have fun and don't be creep looking at all the girls. if you find someone that you are interested and is in your "league", then just pay all your attention to her when you go hit on her, listen to her, pay attention and don't be talking about yourself all the time and try to balance it out and try to find out common interests and then talk about that for a long time. Never lose hope because if you do, then there will never be anything to be happy about in life!

I think you are confusing bitterness with frustration. Its really frustrating after you try something many times and it doesn't work your way...but you gotta keep trying and bouncing back. there are millions of girls that are around your age in this country. its really hard to find the one that really clicks on both sides. You just gotta keep trying!

Codry · Answer

Dear I would suggest you to stop trying so hard and just be the best you can be ... but do it for yourself and yourself only ...I would call this "being impeccable"(check the expression online) ... is not about impressing them it's about impressing yourself, by staying calm and confident ... but never be a doormat.

asdaven · Answer

Yes. For me, rejection, I don't care. Either that person isn't for me or there's something about me making me unattractive.  If that's the case, I just work on and fix it. And all of a sudden your popular. What gets me bitter about women is when women string me along or otherwise use/play me or toy with me. Its like if your gonna reject me, reject me, and don't waste my time that I could be using to find someone who accepts me and likes me for me. I get over it though after awhile when I realize that all women aren't all users and liars.

yengesi · Answer

Too much rejection can make a man disappointed. He is the one who decides whether or not to let that disappointment turn into bitterness.

Trying too hard is a good way to set yourself up for disappointment. Believing no one likes you generally becomes a self-fulfilling attitude. The 12 steppers have a saying: "Let go and let god." I'm an agnostic, but the principal makes sense.

Anonymous · Answer

I have a friend of mine who feels the way you do. We go out on weekends and to bars and hit on girls and what not, and he doesn't even bother. He's a good looking guy but has a couple extra pounds and a series of failed relationships that left him broken and bitter. I feel bad that he doesn't try anymore because he'd be a great catch for someone. His theory is that the right thing will happen when it's time for it to happen.

Anonymous · Answer

idk what to say... you sound like my ex... he was a nerdy guy, but something kept bringing me back to him, because he was sincere and honest... I will always keep those memories I had with him... some of the best sex ever... nothing crazy just very pure, sweet, passionate.. ahh anyways.. what I am trying to say is when you give someone love.. true true unconditional love, honest feelings, etc. well those things won't go unforgotten and even though things may not have worked out. Your time together was not wasted. life is just one big learning experience.. nothing is perfect.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, rejection can make people extremely bitter.

@update: I find it interesting how many men think women never face rejection. I used to be very fat, I know rejection well, better than most. And my lifetime of rejection (even after losing 150 pounds) hasn't made me bitter towards men. Bitterness will just keep you alone and make you angrier and people don't want to be around angry, bitter people.

acooke-13 · Answer

You're update is shit. "Women don't understand because they don't go through what I'm going through at all" since when did you know what EVERY women goes through? We go through a shit tonne of rejection to, don't be bitter about that. Being rejected a hell of a lot can turn any person bitter

twice-shy · Answer

Yes, it has happened to you for sure.

You do need to learn to like yourself, so whatever changes you think you need to make in order to like yourself more, go for it. It will always suck to have your happiness depend on being liked or accepted by someone else.

harveykinkle · Answer

What types of girls are you asking out? How long/well do you know them before asking them?

shiller · Answer

It sure can. The best thing to do is not aiming to impress them so much, I'm sure you've got natural traits that will send women wild. Do the things you wanna do, if girls like it then cool, if not don't even pay it no mind. Rejection only has value if you assign one to it.

Vandal · Answer

Ofcourse. Kick a nice dog enough times and you'll have a mean dog on your hands.

TruthBomber · Answer

They say NO to you because
1. You have nothing to offer them.

Do you have the aesthetics?
Do you have financial power?

Remember that the bargaining chip in dating arena/sexual arena are
1. aesthetics 2. $$$$$$$

Yes. A life time of rejection can make anyone bitter.
Beautiful women don't get rejected because they have bajilions of men showering them with compliments and ask her out in a date.

MissConfused93 · Answer

Try going for women in your league. Nerdy, geeky, shy women will like you. I believe that needy guys try to go for women who are way too good for them. That's where the rejection comes from.

Anonymous · Answer

Do you know what turns a women bitter?
Guys complaining when we don't find them attractive. Guys who complain about being rejectes. Guys who think they are entitled to women because they put themselves out there. That's what makes women bitter.

linkywinky · Answer

Too much rejection can turn anyone bitter.. if they let it. Don't let it. There are more things to life than having a significant other.

martyfellow · Answer

Yes, and most ofs are somewhat bitter.  Too many Don Trump women means nothing but rejection for the rest of us!

Anonymous · Answer

I've gone through it and I wouldn't say I'm bitter just more pessimistic. I also have closed my self off more

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