Why do I attract these angry men?

[Anonymous]

A lot of the men I talk to, date or attract are always angry or jealous. They also get clingy and gain feeling

I like that they gain feelings, but for the rest. Why do certain people attrct certain things?

[bobair]

If you're attractive you will attract men. All men. Some will be sweet and nice and some will be a**holes.

Your issue isn't that angry men find you attractive, it's that you then CHOOSE to date these angry men over the more mature stable guys.

If you REALLY don't attract the more mature stable guys then it's because you're not mature and stable. I know that sounds like a negative judgement but it's not.

Basically you have to BE the type of woman that stable and loving men WANT to be with before you can attract them.

Since you're CHOOSING to date the angry types of guys then there's likely "holes" in your boundary system. If you're insecure in any type of way then other insecure types of men will FEE that about you and will want to use you. You give them attention or sex and in return they can give you a boundary that you don't have for yourself. But it's an unhealthy exchange.

For example, a woman with clear and healthy boundaries will know a guy is unstable from a mile away by the way he talks and acts. She will even test if he's calm and cool.

Perhaps you're either not testing the guys you date soon enough, or you're ignoring the red flags that should warn you in advance that they're unstable?

I guess this might not make you feel better or help you.

All I can say is that the more healthy your self esteem the less likely you are to date a man who doesn't respect you.

Hugs? :)

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

[madhatters4]

usually what it is isn't so much that you only attract a certainguy, but it's that you only respond to or are attracted to a certain guy.

I've dated two girls that cheated on me. I initially said why do I attract these girls who are unfaithful, but I realized ultimately that it's not that they are attracted to me so much as it's me who is attracted to a type of girl. I may ignore certain signs that would indicate trouble down the line in the beginning because there is something about them that I'm attracted to.

Try and look into similarities in these guys before you realize all the negative stuff. For me it was girls who were emotionally damaged. Each had dealt with both family tragedy (early deaths) as well as emotional and mental issues (one bi-polar the other dealt with serious body dismorphia (sp?)). so why was I attracted to them? I liked that they had overcome stuff, I liked the challenges they presented all the while pretty blind to the fact that I was stepping into a fire and needed to be careful to get out before it got too hot

There is usually a trait that we are attracted to in people but often times that trait comes with a flaw, if we can understand the root of that attraction we can start being smarter about who we date.

[hihuha]

i don’t quite agree with some of the answers stated. For me, i’m in your position. In fact, I searched about this and it’s not that I myself attracted to these anger issue’s men but at first they come out nice and kind, sweet. But along the way, they suddenly show their other sides- anger issue, jealousy, clingy etc. So, I don’t know if my way of talking to them makes them feel so or I really am mising the red flags beforehand?

[dollme777]

I attract the same kinda of guys I'm not to sure why maybe its how were raised maybe its a reflection of our dads who knows but it is what it is I guess

[Anonymous]

You're just meeting the wrong type of guys.