I came on too strong (according to him)? Help?

[spads]

So the guy from the gym (from the other questions) and I had been texting for almost 2 months I think... I told him in the beginning I just wanted to be friends. I just got out of a long term relationship and the break up was pretty bad so I was looking for anything intimate. He said he was busy with school and work and didn't have time for a girlfriend. I was OK with that. We would jokingly text each other (we established that we were just playing and HE STARTED IT) and sometimes they would be a little sexual. It was kind of awkward for me at first but I don't know it was kind of fun too so I played along. I would try to ask him about himself (because I wanted to be friends) but he was really kind of private. I asked to hang out a few times but he was always busy. Then he stopped texting me as much so I went and talked to him one day at the gym and he said I came on too strong but I don't know what I did and he wouldn't tell me. Was asking about him and suggesting we hang out how I came on too strong? And if I actually did come on too strong and it wasn't just an excuse, did I blow it? If I didn't blow it, what should I do now? I still kind of like him. Sorry about all the questions, I'm not good at this.

Updates

+1 y

He hadn't been replying so much before I confronted him at the gym, and then after that he wouldn't text back at all. But after he had told me I had come on too strong I texted him (I got a little frustrated and walked away from him while we were taling because he kept trying to talk about random things) when I had calmed down and asked how I came on too strong and if I could have another chance at trying to be his friend. He never replied.

Updates

+1 y

Ok, well after not texting/talking for about a week I caved and texted him saying that I had been with my ex for all of high school and it was always me AND him, and since the break up I've been having a hard time figuring out how to just be me. And I said I jumped into talking to him too soon after, and that I only wanted to be his friend, and he said "we are friends don't worry"... :-l

I told him that now I feel like he's just playing a game and he said he wasn't. But now he's not talking :l

[Longshot]

There are several possibilities and I am sure you can judge which is most likely. 1) You came on too strong. 2) He is just too busy and can't get involved. 3) You are not his type. 4) He doesn't feel any chemistry.

There could be other possibilities. I am just mentioning a few.

Since he mentioned you came on too strong, is there a way where you could ask him if you guys could "start all over again?"

[spads]

I initiated our talking in the very beginning because I asked him in person to the movies. He said he'd try to come and asked for my # and stuff and at first he would be the first to text like, in the morning and stuff. He couldn't make it to the movie but he said he wanted to hang out. He told me (over text) that he thought I was cute and seemed cool. And he told one of the girls at the front desk, who's my friend so she told me, that I was his type of girl...

[sexyasianboi26]

You both f*cked up on the first part, and that was playing games. Joking around? Yup that's playing games. Joking around is really fun at first, but when feelings start to hit ya, you start to wonder where the facts are at. If both of you had just said what you wanted and expect in the beginning, the facts would be there.

Like what @Longshot said, ask him if you guys can start over.

[Amanda2]

Smh men are so confusing not. See other people in the mean time and also he is just using this as an excuse

[bDizzie]

coming on too strong? I call bullsh*t! If anything, girls don't come on strong enough! More girls should say "let's hang out"

[bDizzie]

To your update, he seems to enjoy you coming up to him asking for his friendship, I'd move on if I were you.

[spads]

So what should I do when he comes into the gym? I know I should try to ignore him but sometimes he smiles at me, but it looks kind of forced. Do I smile an obviously forced smile back at him? And what if he talks to me?

[bDizzie]

I'd say you can talk back to him but don't have any expectations

[Anonymous]

You didn't blow it. It's just that he want some time for himself.

Also, consider opening your options.

[Anonymous]

No you didnt.