Guys, would you approach a girl sitting alone in a cafe?

[Daph81]

Say she's just sitting in a cafe, drinking coffee, reading a book. Basically just enjoying her time and her coffee. If you find her attractive would you approach her and talk to her? Or is a cafe not a good place for that?

I want to put myself out there more, but I hate going to parties, bars where there are loud music and drunk people. However, I love going to cafes. I also like to go the the Ikea restaurant, where I can sit for hours alone, reading a book and drinking coffee. I've heard a guy say that a girl reading a book in a cafe is (mentally) hot. But I don't know... Would you guys approach me if you found me attractive, if I were sitting in a cafe with my nose in a book?

Updates

+1 y

This gives me an idea... Maybe I should create a book cover that says "please don't hesitate to disturb"

Updates

+1 y

I knew this thread would probably attract some whiny guys...

seriously? get out of your cave of narrowmindedness and self-pity and try to find a constructive solution.

Whining is in no was helpful or constructive or even f***ing useful. It's only annoying as a constipation, that's what it is. Whiny guys are like a constipation. Get it? So unless you can make yourself useful by dropping the whiny attitude, you're never ever gonna get a girlfriend!

[jacquesvol]

I could never know that she's just enjoying her time and her coffee.

I could never know that she wants to be approached.

Thus she may be as hot as humanly possible, but I'd respect her privacy and not approach her. Up to her to put the book away and ask me some information which could lead to talking.

I'm not the one clearly using a book as a shield. She is.

I don't object to help people, it happens often.

Last Saturday I was in the station and a group of Serbian girls approached me to ask how to get to a shopping street. Since that was not on my road and our subway is a bit complicated, I took a longer way and escorted the group through the subway and dropped them at the right place, giving them indications to find another shopping street on the same line.

BUT:

-They asked for help

-They had a problem with the language

-They were in group

That's quite difference

-I've given similar help to elderly or middle aged people.

PS, the idea of the book cover would be a tad too obvious, making me think of the arrow point some women had on the soles of their shoes in ancient Rome, to leave traces in the sand. Guess why they wore them.

[jacquesvol]

link

[aDzNichilista]

I have approached a girl sitting in a cafe where I frequent almost 5 days a week to read, write, and phone talk. Yes, I do find it sexy when a girl comes alone without any company and just indulge in her work. I find it incredibly sexy when she doesn't pay any attention to nobody. If I do find her attractive, and if we happened to hold at least an eye-contact for quite a while, I haven't a problem to strike up a conversation and ask her for coffee. The following links might give you an idea about me:

link

link

[TKoz93]

No, most guys just have balls for decoration. When it comes to approaching girls, most guys are like girls looking at themselves in the mirror. They just think the most negative things possible, "She's just going to say no anyway, so what's the point? That's okay, I don't feel like getting rejected and feeling like sh*t in public. She's definitely busy, and would certainly not be interested in me interrupting her from her unpausable task."

It's a cute idea in theory, but it wouldn't really work out too well in practice. You're always going to get those overly confident guys who will walk up to you and chat you up, but those aren't really the guys you want anyway. If you're looking for more normal guys or guys that aren't social butterflies, that approach isn't going to have much luck.

[TKoz93]

No, but testicles do produce 20 times more testosterone than a woman's ovaries, and testosterone is responsible for lower levels or risk aversion, which means people with more testosterone are more comfortable taking risks and are less conservative. So, despite that medical fact, men don't act like men and their balls are just hanging around for show like some Christmas decorations.

[Cyran]

I don't feel obligated just to approach any girl even when I'm single.. and the real truth is - the best places for hitting on are bars, parties, clubs and so on - everywhere else girls don't really like to be approached, especially if they're also involved with something - like reading a book!

[Daph81]

I don't really want to date party boys, so I don't go to bars and clubs to "put myself out there". Any other suggestions besides places where drunk people meet?

[Cyran]

Why drunk? You don't need to be drunk to go to a party!

You see.. the only other "place" is online dating - on mundane, normal places like shops, streets, parks and so on women just don't want to be bothered and period

[MikeK]

Cyran's correct... 100%

[normalice]

not without some excuse. Like if the cafe was full I could ask if I could join her on the premise that there is no where else to sit. Or if she was reading the work of some author I recognized and could offer suggestions for other books.

but even these things depends heavily on my mood. It is rare for me to feel "ballsy" enough to randomly talk to women.

[Theguyoverthere]

If you look like you're in the middle of something I wouldn't. You'd have to look like you were open to conversation. It's tough putting yourself out there. If you go with this idea, try and make it in an area you know a lot of people pass by. Someone may comment on the book you're reading.

[RedThread]

Well I probably wouldn't because she would seem very engrossed in her book. I know that when I'm reading and I get really into it I don't like to be disturbed so I may assume a girl would be the same way. Then again I don't usually read books in public. Eh now that I think about it I might if I got a really good vibe out of her. If I think somebody is really unique and different it makes me want to learn more about the person.

[aMuse]

I don't approach women when they look busy. I think it's a bit rude to interrupt someone while they are reading a book or taking a call. If she's just sipping her drink and staring at me I might.

[aMuse]

lol, you can read when you are burning your time, but if you see a cute guy make an effort to focus on him and look like you are not busy. Don't just keep reading and ignore him. Make eye contact, smile, and even shyly look down at your book a few times, and then look back up at him. He'll notice that you find him distracting/attractive.

[Daph81]

but how can I read my book AND scan the room for guys who might be looking at me from afar? My eyes can't move independently lol

[aMuse]

Well... Either you are hunting the opposite sex or you are reading... Keep your eye on the prize, the book is really just camouflage. Focus... =P

[Daph81]

OK, Sir! =p

[aMuse]

=)

[sexyasianboi26]

That is a good move but you reading a book might ward off some guys.

Reading a book is like having headphones, most people don't dare to disturb people with them.

[Daph81]

but I'm actually fine with being disturbed while reading a book. I was hoping it would attract guys who like to read as well, get them curious and well, the book I'm reading would be a good ice breaker...

And I can't just sit twiddling my fingers doing nothing for hours. I'd fall asleep and snore lol

[front2back]

Well, most of the time if I see a girl sitting alone and enjoying her self I won't approach her. I would hate to annoy her or interrupt whatever she is doing. Even if I find her attractive I won't approach her, out of politeness.

[Anonymous]

F*** no..

There are too many reasons she could decline me for me to put my reputation, ego, self-esteem on the line for some random girl I don't know better than a hole in the wall.

If she wants to talk to me, she can approach me. I'm aware that I don't "need" to approach women to get women.

[d-deso614]

I would, if you didn't look totally engaged in your reading alone. If you happen to see a guy walk in that you find attractive, maybe peek at him from over your book to show that you're open to conversation.

[JSmuve]

I would not. To me, it seems like you're wrapped up in your own thing and probably wouldn't want to be bothered. Plus, a cafe is a nice public place where I have ample opportunities to embarrass myself.

[SaltyDog]

I wouldn't approach simply because I'd feel that I was interrupting her. Now, if she gave me subtle glances and a quick smile, then I absolutely would.

I refuse to approach any girl, anywhere unless there are subtle signs she displays.

[strangerdanger]

If I got eye contact multiple times and possibly a smile and found her attractive I would. I'd just walk over and tell her I found her to be gorgeous and was wondering if she'd mind drinking her coffee with me to get to know each other.

[MikeK]

I likely would not disturb a girl in a situation like this...

but if I did approach her, I most certainly would start conversing with her by asking for a brief synopsis of the book she was reading :)

[Anonymous]

Guys might think it's hot, but most guys will not approach you, because they don't want to be seen as 'creeps' and shut down in a place so public.

[COCOCHANEL]

that's cute. I think it ought to happen more but many guys might be afraid to intrude.

[Vandal]

Nah, probably not. I'm terrified of being falsely accused of sexual harassment/rape.

[Anonymous]

sure but a little tip, you'll have better success with guys approaching you there if you flirt with them. otherwise they may feel like they're bothering you.

[Anonymous]

No some might assume you're too into your book or waiting on someone

[Anonymous]

why don't you create a book cover that says "I'm single and horny" instead. guys will approach you then.

[Daph81]

lol I won't want to appear as desperate as I am ;)

btw, why go anonymous?

[Opinion Owner]

so you can't block me for making a joke. some people are like that.

[Daph81]

what? That's ridiculous... If that "joke" were a racist or incredibly sexist one, then maybe.

Now that you know I won't block you, you can come out of your shell ;)

[Opinion Owner]

i can't I'm shy. lol.

[Anonymous]

I don't see why a guy wouldn't. It's nice and peaceful.

[mantobee]

because women hate being approached by non model looking guys ?

[Daph81]

ok from now on, I'm blocking each and every user I've seen to be whining a lot.